Chapter 106

Searching

Bob and Jim started up the roof access ladder. They didn't find signs of any human activity in the building recently. They knew when it came to Skynet, there were often other 'things' than humans involved.

Jim opened the access hatch and stepped out onto the roof.

"I'll look around the building's exterior." Jim said.

Bob followed behind him.

"I'll check the roof of the other building." Bob said.

They moved along the glass side of the skylight to remain hidden from view.

Jim stopped when he was close enough to look over at the property next door.

Bob searched the other roof for signs of any surveillance equipment.

Neither one of them were able to spot overt signs of any Skynet activity. In fact, they weren't able to spot signs of any activity.

They decided to set up a couple of surveillance devices to watch the suspect building. They did so and went back down the access ladder. They decided to leave one inside of the building they were in as well.

"Do you want lock the door when we leave or not?" Jim asked.

Bob thought about it for a moment.

"I think we should leave everything as we found it." Bob said. "It could be part of someone else's 'test'."

They took one last look around for any other surveillance devices. None were located on their search.

Bob and Jim exited the building and went back out the way they arrived. They needed to know more before they attempted any type of entry into the suspect building. They needed to determine how it was linked to Skynet.

Riley was happy to have linked up with Resistance in the 'past'. It was now the 'present' for her. She became quite attached to Derek. She also found John to be very intriguing. There was just something about him. She felt drawn to him. Derek filled her in on some of the events which were happening. Some of them seemed extreme to her. She went in search of Derek and ended up in the lab.

The lab interested her. She looked around at some of the things. It was clear Terminators were repaired there at times. She was a little surprised to find several shelves stocked with spare Terminator parts. Some of them still had the sheath covering on them. To see a Metal skull was one thing. To see one with the sheath covering still on it was another. It looked like a human head staring at her.

She found a stack of poems on the desk. She didn't know who created them when she first started to look at them. She started to read some. She found them very intriguing. She thought they were Vanna's poems. Derek told her Vanna was really an 'older Savannah' from their future. She always found the concept a little hard to deal with when she saw both of them together. It was the same person. It was really a mind trip.

As Riley looked through the poems, she felt Vanna was deeply troubled and must hurt very much inside. Some of the poems stabbed at her heart. She could feel the hurt and pain. She wondered why Vanna signed them all as 'Nobody'. She thought someone must have really hurt Vanna to make her feel the way she did. She thought Vanna was justified for hating someone who made her feel in such away.

There was no way she could know it was actually Cameron 'talking' about a different version of 'her'.

Sarah walked into the lab. She saw what Riley was reading. It upset her because Riley looked at them. She was the one responsible for most of them. Well, another future version of her was. It wasn't actually her, even if it was, sort of. She was worried about John. Riley was a distraction. It seemed any version of Riley was a distraction. Each version of Riley seemed to show up at the wrong time. She lashed out without really thinking.

"Who said you could look at those?" Sarah asked.

Riley quickly looked at Sarah. She could see Sarah was offended by her innocent act of curiosity. She quickly set them down back where they were. She thought she should offer some type of explanation. She didn't want to create any issues. It was clear she already did.

"I found them here." Riley said. "I only looked at a few. I didn't mean to cause a problem. I'm sorry if I did something I wasn't supposed to. I didn't mean to offend anyone."

Sarah looked at her. She didn't 'hate' Riley. She knew how the other Riley, Future Riley, hurt Cameron. She also knew John always put Riley before Cameron. She knew John cared for and loved 'his Riley'. She felt more than a twinge of pain remembering how he cried his heart out with his head in her lap. Cameron sat next to him on the other side. She was sure Cameron wanted to do more to soothe him, but didn't know what to do to make anything better, without making it worse.

She was aware what John and Riley 'did'. She knew she was a teenager once also, things happen…. She'd been in more than one bed in high school. She wanted to 'try out' her lady parts. She soon found out the ladies knew how to make them all feel better. Her female friends and her liked how they made each other feel. The best part was, none of them needed to worry about getting pregnant. They always seemed to be able to deliver for each other. It was something none of the males could do. They simply finished too quickly.

It pained Sarah the most to reflect on how John did what he did. The way he acted right in front of Cameron's face was wrong. It was very cruel. No wonder Cameron was still troubled by it all. It still troubled her as well. Now it troubled her even more because Riley, 'a Riley', was back in the mix and Cameron was 'gone'. She doubted John was strong enough to resist Riley, especially if she came on to him strong. He tasted the forbidden fruit before, quite literally. The second time would be easier. She really didn't think he could differentiate the two in his mind if things would start to happen. It was the same individual, even if they were from different timelines.

It was time for her to make a statement. It wasn't something she wanted to do. It was something she needed to do. She needed to throw some rules out in front of everything. It was a mother's responsibility to look after her child. It didn't matter how old they were. It was what she decided to do.

"Those were created by Cameron, my son's wife." Sarah said. "They belong to her."

Sarah's statement caught Riley by surprise. She really thought a human wrote them. They seemed like all the emotions she would have herself. She needed to make sure she understood what Sarah meant.

"Do you mean Metal wrote this?" Riley asked. "These were written by a machine?"

The terminology instantly offended Sarah. It added to her already budding agitation with Riley. She wanted to make her position clear to Riley. She didn't want to take things as extreme as she did with Jesse. Jesse was very much more offensive when she spoke. The rules still needed to be laid down.

"You will refer to her as, Cameron, John's wife, her, she, a girl, or a woman. I won't tell you a second time." Sarah said. "I'll put anyone down on the ground who badmouths Cameron. This is your only warning. Just so you know, I've done it before. I won't hesitate to do it again."

Sarah thought back on when she slammed the stock of her M4 into Jesse's head. Jesse was physically harassing Allison, while she bad mouthed Cameron. She received a free trip to 'dreamland' for her transgressions.

Riley wanted to defend herself some. She hadn't been in the past for very long. The terminology she used was standard around a Resistance base from where she was sent from.

"I didn't mean it to be derogatory, Sarah." Riley said. "I'm sorry. Things were different where I came from. I need time to acclimate to all this. It's all new to me. It's different from everything I know or remember. Being here is like a new world. Old habits are hard to break. I didn't mean any personal disrespect to anyone. I apologize to both Cameron and you."

Sarah remembered Jesse needed time to adjust too. Now Jesse was in love with Cameron. She did understand things took awhile to get acclimated to. It had taken her quite a while. It wasn't until she lost John to the future, the unknown, when she was able to push all of her prejudices aside. She needed to recognize what she knew all along. Cameron was meant for John. Cameron was there to protect and guide him. Cameron always did things to help her, along with everyone else.

"Cameron is John's everything. She's his world." Sarah said. "John loves her. We all love her. I love her."

Riley was very surprised to hear such a string of revelations. Sarah's reputation preceded her. She understood Sarah was the mother of the Resistance, quite literally. She'd been fighting Skynet in various forms since she was a teenager.

"I didn't know Met... I mean, she could have the same feelings like us." Riley said. "I can literally feel her pain. It's like I can see into her mind and feel what she does. It's very intense."

Sarah understood Cameron's pain and where it came from. She believed Cameron's poems were works of beauty, as much as they were of pain.

"Sometimes I think she's more 'human' than we are, Riley." Sarah said. "I only wish I could express my feelings the same way she can. Maybe I bottle mine up too much instead of trying to release some of the pain. I believe Cameron needs to release the pain so it doesn't overwhelm her."

Riley wasn't sure how it was possible, but she wasn't about to argue the point with Sarah. In fact she wasn't about to argue anything with Sarah. Sarah looked lean and mean. She knew a Terminator could snap her neck. It looked like Sarah could too.

Derek was able to fill her in a little on the small amount of information he received from Sarah previously. It actually bothered her greatly once she knew who the players were. She wasn't exactly sure how everything worked, or didn't work. Somehow it seemed to tarnish her even though she wasn't involved with anything.

"I understand there was another 'Riley', and someone named 'Jesse' before." Riley said.

Sarah didn't want to relive those dark times and how they got there in the first place.

"It would be best if you let 'sleeping dogs' rest. It isn't something you want to dredge up." Sarah said. "There was a lot of trouble and hurt for everyone. Don't push it."

Riley sucked in her breath a little. It was what she feared would happen. She would be 'blamed' for what some other 'future version' of her did. She remembered how the females on the TDE pad looked at her. She saw 'death' stare her down. It looked like they all hated her from the instant they saw her. It looked like they all wanted to kill her. She wanted to try and set the record straight.

"It wasn't 'me'." Riley said. "Those four women all looked like they wanted to kill me before they left. I saw death look at me before they vanished. I don't want to be blamed for something I didn't do. There could be other versions of everyone who may have done things which were wrong or inappropriate. Whatever happened before wasn't me."

Riley was worried they would all see her as the one who hurt Cameron, even though it wasn't actually HER. She didn't know how to separate herself from the actions of some other version of her. The bottom line was, she didn't do any of those things. It just wasn't HER.

Sarah felt it was going to be a hard sell for Riley not to take some of the rap anyway.

"Those four women will do anything for each other. The bond between them is strong. They all know someone hurt Cameron before. They will protect Cameron, as will I." Sarah said. "There's nothing any of us won't do for Cameron. It doesn't matter what it is."

Sarah stood in front of Riley. She looked intimidating.

Riley felt threatened. It was like everyone 'hated her'. Only Derek and John didn't seem to hate her. Even the Terminators treated her coldly. She felt they all wanted to snap her neck when she passed them. She was sure if it wasn't for John, one of them probably would. All she could do is set the record straight.

"I won't cause any trouble, Sarah." Riley said. "John is a nice guy. I'm involved with Derek, for now."

Sarah was pretty sure she didn't like the last part of Riley's statement. It irritated her enough to comment on it.

"Keep it that way. Your life will be a lot simpler." Sarah said.

'And maybe your life will be a little bit longer.' Sarah thought.

Sarah left. If she stayed any longer, her anger would boil over. She knew Riley was a 'different' Riley. She also knew 'all roads lead to Rome'. She was very worried Riley and John were on a collision course. The current situation only seemed to compound and magnify the events.

One thing was very clear. The longer Cameron was gone, the more John would 'look' elsewhere. There weren't a whole lot of choices available to him. She would never have considered it even a remote possibility before, but they may all have to 'look the other way' if Savannah decided to 'step up' early. It would be better than having Cameron return and find John with Riley, again. After all, Cameron did give Savannah her wedding dress. They all knew what it meant. It was Cameron's contingency plan for her demise. It was her 'fail safe'. She didn't believe Cameron would hurt Savannah. She did believe Cameron would kill Riley.

None of it would really matter in the long run if Cameron never returned.

John and John Henry tried everything to find out where the girls went. There was simply no way to know. They didn't know where or when they were.

'Would Cameron really prevent Future Allison from being captured so she was never constructed? Was her life so painful? Was her hurt so deep? Is it all my fault?' John wondered.

How could he ever find out any of the answers?

There was no 'Cameron' in the future he went to with Mrs. Weaver. The 'Allison Young' there was never captured. What would happen on his second day at school in the past if there was no Cameron? Would he be killed that day? Was the timeline they were in now an aberration? Maybe Skynet would capture Future Savannah instead, or someone else. It could even be Future Riley or Future Jesse. Who knows? Is any of it fixable?

Somehow both disaster or success revolved around him. He just couldn't understand it. He really wanted to believe he was just like any other male. He didn't see his contributions adding up to anything so far. He was little more than a juvenile delinquent growing up. 'Growing up', was there such a thing? He actually wondered when he finally would grow up.

Why couldn't he believe Cameron when she told him they loved each other. Why couldn't he believe Cameron loved him, even if he couldn't admit his love for her then? She TOLD him, but he terminated her anyway. It was bad enough. He was sure he made everything much worse when he replaced her with Riley.

John knew he loved Cameron from the moment he saw her on his first day in school, even when it was apparent she was a Terminator after saving him. Somehow it actually made him love her a little more. He thought part of it was for the affection he felt for 'Uncle Bob', the other Terminator sent to protect him. Why did he turn to Riley? WHY? Why didn't he have the courage to give Cameron his love?

In retrospect, he was certain when Cameron emulated 'Riley' on the telephone with her foster father, she said the things to him she wanted to say. She told him again, 'I love you'. She not only told him 'the words' twice, her actions on multiple occasions, especially when she came into his bedroom and climbed on the bed with him, indicated her willingness to take things a little further.

When he was on the bus with Riley to Mexico, in another supreme blunder, he thought about how he should have 'taken' Cameron first, before he left to get Riley and head for the Honeymoon Suite. He might have been able to score a double whammy. He needed to push those thoughts from his mind. He needed to grow up.

John put Cameron's poem book back. He'd read it over and over. It made him feel alive still to feel her hurt and pain. The pain he caused her. He deserved the pain he inflicted on her. He knew with each 'mental cut' which made him 'bleed', he was still alive. Cameron's pain kept him 'going'. It kept him alive.

There was a knock at his door.

He ignored it.

The knock came again.

"Can I come in?" Riley asked.

John glanced at Cameron's Glock and then at her poem book.

"NO!" John picked up the poem book again and started reading….

Savannah watched Riley go to John's room. She tracked her there. It made her feel uncomfortable. She smiled when John sent her away. She knew Riley wasn't John's destiny, she was.

"I promise, Cammy." Savannah said.

She didn't intend to let Riley 'cut' in front of her. Cameron's wedding dress hung in her closet. She knew what Cameron wanted her to do. It was what she wanted to do as well.

"I promise, Cammy." Savannah said again.

John Henry continually searched everything. He needed to find out what happened. He knew the girls were somewhere, but where and when? Why did the energy bubble come and go a few times? It should have stayed. He'd changed the date several times during the process. What did John do when he fooled with the controls? The girls could be anywhere or any when. Where was Mrs. Weaver? What happened to her? Why hadn't she come back? There were so many questions and no answers.

The search continued, endlessly. John Henry hoped he would find them. It didn't look good. The biggest problem seemed to be he didn't know 'where' to look. He didn't know 'when' to look.

The other Terminators at the base were as worried and disturbed by events as was everyone else. Unit Two and Unit Three were ready on short notice to go on a rescue mission after Cameron and the girls. They only needed a time and location.

They'd spent all those months together with Cameron and Future Allison in Cameron's future. They cared as much as it was possible for them to care as Terminators. They may have even picked up a little of Cameron's infiltration programming.

Bob and Jim were very worried too. They didn't care for the interloper in their midst. None of the Terminators did.

Closing monologue by Cameron:

Searching

Much of one's life is spent in an endless quest
They lose track for what it is they're searching
There are many obstacles along the way
They face a lot of ridicule and besmirching

There's always something more
That they feel they must obtain
It seems when it eventually happens
They soon find less pleasure and more pain

Is that the true nature of things
Or is it a flaw in one's own mind
They hoped they would be able see better
Instead somehow they're left blind

At what point does 'good enough'
Devolve to become 'not good enough'
Time doesn't make things smoother
It makes the path forward tough and rough

They think they know the other but they don't
The truth is they don't know who they really are
As long as one lies and deceives themselves
They can't go far as their own mind they scar

Nobody