Chapter 112

River

River was in an unknown place, as well as different time period. Everything was very different for her. She felt the most comfortable when she was around Cameron, John Henry, or Savannah. She especially liked Cameron. Her main goal was to get back 'home'. It was all different for her. She liked being on 'her ship' now. It was a little hard for her at first, but her brother was able to find ways to 'help' her. He helped her find herself again. It was something her evil overlords tried to take from her. They may have altered her and trained her, but she was still who she always was deep down.

Being around Savannah, she was able to observe what Cameron did and planned for her. She knew Savannah was destined for greatness. Cameron allowed Savannah to find the best in herself. Maybe Cameron didn't want to admit what she really prepared Savannah for. It didn't slip past her. It would soon be what Cameron would plan for her as well.

She also understood the sadness Savannah felt for the loss of her parents, all 'three' of them. Savannah's loss saddened her too. She could understand Savannah's loss. It was greater than her loss. It was a more profound loss.

Why did some need to lose something because of others? They should all work on trying to help people, not hurt them. There were plenty of people from the time period She left who were out to hurt others. Not only was it from the group which was altered by a botched experiment, it was by the powers in charge who tried to impose their will everywhere. There were very many others who felt otherwise.

She first ran into trouble when she was in school. She was very intelligent and able to think on her own. She was able to think outside of the box the other children were forced to think inside of. It drew the attention of others. It brought various forms of 'punishment' for non-compliance. The power in charge didn't need to be AI to be cruel and ruthless. Humans were quite capable of the same things themselves.

She asked for, and was given, information about Skynet. She wanted to know more about the future Cameron was from. She felt it was very important to know more about what was behind everything. She believed an artificial intelligence could only understand things to a certain degree. It applied to Cameron, the other Terminators, and especially to Skynet.

John Henry found River to be most remarkable, especially in the way she could defeat him at chess. Nobody was ever able to defeat him before.

Cameron and John Henry talked about ways to send River back to where she belonged. They weren't sure how to do it safely and accurately. They determined they needed to send her back to the specific point in time when she was taken away. It would ensure she was back to where she was, and when she was supposed to be. If she could be returned back in time, to the moment just before she was removed from her timeline, there should be no alteration to River's timeline. It was possible River could be as pivotal of a figure from her time period, as John was from theirs.

They wanted some way to test the procedure. There was no way to do it. They could end up killing River or altering her future. Based on what she told them about her timeline, it seemed like it would be a bad thing. They could both see the parallels of the powers in charge for their absolute ruthlessness and one-sided view.

River currently spent time with Savannah. They both played together. The two of them acted like long lost friends. Maybe it was because they both felt the same about their predicaments. Events happened to both of them they couldn't control. It was through no fault of their own either. They were the ones who needed to live with the consequences.

Jesse and Vanna walked by and spotted them.

"You would never know River killed two dozen people in less than a minute to see her playing like a girl with Savannah." Jesse said.

Vanna was a little concerned about it. Was it really all training and conditioning? Maybe it was because of how she was 'altered' in some way.

"It didn't even seem to faze her in the slightest." Vanna said. "It was actually unbelievable, especially with the grace she did it with."

It still almost seemed like a 'dance' to Vanna. Maybe it was the 'dance of death'.

Jesse hadn't expected to survive the situation. She was sure it was where she was going to die. It reminded her so much of a Scavenger camp. She never expected to survive those either.

"River saved our lives. It's all I care about." Jesse said.

Jesse couldn't help but think about how close Allison was to being permanently injured. It didn't happen, so she shouldn't dwell on it.

Vanna wanted to connect with River better than she was able too. Maybe it was because she always saw 'Allison' in River. In reality they were two totally unconnected individuals. Maybe if she only saw River as 'River', things would improve. Maybe she needed to think about something other than making love to River every time she was around her. It was always the foremost thought in her mind when she looked at River.

"I have trouble communicating with her." Vanna said. "Someone really messed with her head. She's more like Cameron than any of us girls."

Jesse felt when people 'messed' with your body, they messed with your head too. There were other ways to 'cut' into one's brain. They didn't all need to be with a scalpel. The after effects could be just as profound and long lasting.

Savannah and River danced around as they played with each other. They ran past John Henry.

There was a piece of paper with computations on it and a thumb drive now lying in front of him. John Henry didn't even notice it was placed there at first.

River looked back at him and smiled, and then she was gone.

Savannah and River could be heard giggling as they went down the hall.

John Henry went over the information River gave to him. She'd only briefly worked with his server and looked at the TDE. She looked at it physically, and as to how it was constructed, along with its design. She'd basically given him plans for a 'new design', which was based on the old design. It was very advanced.

He called Cameron to come and see him. She arrived in short order. After the pleasantries were exchanged, Cameron went straight to the point.

"What do you have?" Cameron asked.

John Henry believed it was a positive turn of events.

"With the temporal information from Mrs. Weaver, and the information River provided me with, I think we can modify the TDE to send her back." John Henry said. "We've rebuilt it to be stronger and more powerful. If we make the additional improvements, it will give us much more precise control. It's a very advanced breakthrough. It's far superior to the original Skynet design and our earlier modifications."

Cameron was pleased to hear it. River was the greatest to be around. She was able to learn many things from her. When she was around River, she felt she could be herself. She felt she could be the machine, and the person, she actually was. It seemed to her it was the first time anyone truly understood her.

"She's amazing, John Henry." Cameron said. "There's no other human like her. I can teach her anything. She can teach me many things. It's an experience I've never even imagined before. She's wonderful…."

Cameron seemed to have a 'far off' look in her eyes as she spoke.

John Henry didn't miss the look. He knew he shared it as well when he thought of River.

Cameron never felt so at ease with anyone before. Maybe Savannah was the next closest. With River it was more on an intellectual level. With Savannah it was more on an emotional level.

"I've allowed River to access any of my files she wants to see." Cameron added.

John Henry was somewhat surprised to hear it. He wanted to know exactly how far Cameron was willing to go.

"Even the files with John and you alone?" John Henry asked.

Cameron looked at John Henry with total seriousness.

"Yes." Cameron said. "I want to share 'everything' with her."

John Henry was sure 'everything' actually meant exactly what it sounded like. It appeared as if Cameron was ready for a personal relationship. Maybe she was thinking in broader terms. He wondered what the end game actually was. It appeared to be one thing, but most likely would be another thing.

"Do you think she would be the best suitable mate for John's offspring?" John Henry asked.

Cameron liked the idea. It wasn't what she'd been thinking about, but it was almost as good.

"Yes. I would want it more than anything for John." Cameron said. "She's my perfect replacement. The children would be highly intelligent."

John Henry ignored the 'replacement' reference. He didn't want to encourage her in any way. He wondered if Cameron wasn't getting ahead of herself. Based upon what he knew about River, it seemed as if Cameron was.

"Have you discussed this with her?" John Henry asked.

Cameron looked down when he asked her. She was worried about overstepping. To plan was one thing. To enact a plan and have it work was another one.

"No." Cameron said.

It seemed to John Henry that River was beyond such lowly 'human functions'.

"What you seek may be at a lower level, which River's mind can't operate at, as a 'normal' human female could. She seems more advanced for some of the simple biological functions." John Henry added. "She may be unsuitable for those 'activities' and what they produce."

Cameron didn't know. River played with Savannah like her long lost sister. It was about as basic and human as one could get. She wished she could 'look' and 'feel' the same way herself. She could see it was real happiness. It was happiness uncomplicated by anything else. She could see and tell River was very much like her, but she was so very much more, on multiple levels.

"Yes, she's very different. I taught her how to dance ballet yesterday. It only took one day for her to learn and master it. It's amazing." Cameron said. "She's better than me at everything. It's so wonderful…."

John Henry could see the far off dreamy look in Cameron's eyes again. He was pretty sure where 'that look' emanated from and where it went. He didn't think it was going to be a good place. He didn't think it was going to be a good place for Cameron specifically. He was sure of the direction where Cameron was headed. No, it wasn't headed. He was sure of the destination where Cameron already arrived.

"Do you have feelings for her?" John Henry asked.

Cameron tried to tell herself she didn't. She knew she did. It was a completely different feeling than she ever experienced before with anyone.

"No!" Cameron said. "I don't know. It's so 'different'. I may have."

There was a long pause.

"I do." Cameron said. "I wish I could be her."

John Henry believed Cameron's feelings were how the human girls felt about Cameron. They saw her as 'perfect', and loved her for it. They all but worshiped her.

"It's how Allison, Vanna and Jesse all feel about you, Cameron." John Henry said.

Cameron began to wonder if she really was more than a 'pile of junk', or a 'piece of trash', or 'scrap metal', with the thought. The other references were hard for her to get past.

If others really saw her as she viewed River, maybe she did have some worth and value. Maybe she could be 'good enough'. Maybe it depended upon who the person was who viewed her as 'good enough'. She was aware two people were seldom on the 'same page' in life, at the same time. Even when they were, they didn't seem to remain there for very long. She was sure she found someone who actually understood her for once.

Maybe it's what she truly wanted. What she wanted, should matter too.

Cameron and River left the TDE room. They went over some of the improvements. They spotted Allison and Vanna on their way back from the commissary. They watched Allison and Vanna go into their room. By the way they playfully touched, and kissed each other as they walked, it was clear what was soon to follow.

River smiled and took Cameron's hand. She asked Cameron to sit next to her on the floor with their backs against their wall.

"I like to sit here when they're alone, or Jesse is with them." River said. "They make me feel things I've never felt before. I've experienced some of the physical sensations on my own, you know…. It's the level of emotional sharing they're able to achieve which is the most rewarding. I asked for their permission to sit here. I'm not ready to go in with them, yet."

Cameron wondered if they invited her in but didn't ask. She would like to know.

"They've wanted to ask me, but haven't yet." River said.

Cameron quickly looked at River. River just answered her unasked question. She asked the question she often wondered about herself.

"Is it because they're both female?" Cameron asked.

River smiled at the thought. It was a different 'feeling' than what she picked up off most males. It seemed the male's thoughts were mostly physically oriented. For the girls, the same sense of physical domination wasn't as strong. Vanna, and especially Jesse, did express a certain level of domination, but it was still different in its scope and reach. The level of emotional attachment was much deeper. She believed it was deeper with Vanna and Allison than it was with any other two individuals she ever encountered. If she was ever unsure as to exactly what love was, Vanna and Allison were the perfect example of true love.

"Yes. I can feel the love." River leaned her head back against the wall and touched Cameron's face. "Feel the beauty, Cameron. Scan me and don't stop. You'll be able to feel what I feel from them."

Cameron touched River's face and then her neck. She held her hand there as she scanned her.

River could feel and absorb the sensations of both Vanna and Allison simultaneously. It was incredibly stimulating. It was more than beautiful. She could feel her body respond to the same sensations both of the girls felt while they shared. Some of them were extremely exhilarating. All of them were very rewarding.

Cameron could feel it.

It was beautiful….

It was late in the day when Cameron spotted River again. She'd made a decision based on what she'd felt earlier. She was very stimulated as she scanned River, as River felt the love shared by Vanna and Allison. The depth of the emotional aspect, increased the sensations of the physical aspect dramatically. She was ready to push her agenda a little further.

"You may sit either outside, or inside, our room tonight, River." Cameron said.

River felt it was deeper than just 'sitting'. She wanted to clarify some things. She was aware words could be very misleading or tricky, depending upon their application. She could usually feel things at a different level.

"Do you want me to 'sit' inside with you?" River asked.

Cameron reached out and touched River's neck again.

"Yes." Cameron replied.

River could tell Cameron was reaching out. It was more than just physical. The emotional aspect was one thing, the actual physical events were another.

"I don't think I can do 'that'." River said.

River knew what Cameron really 'asked' of her.

Cameron spelled it out in so many words. The action involved was clear.

"Please think about it for me. If you come in, I can stay or leave." Cameron said. "I can participate if you desire. It can be the two of you, the three of us, or the two of us."

Cameron and River shared a long look. River knew she would feel everything the infant felt all of the time.

It was clear to River what Cameron just indicated. It was a big step in her life if she took it.

"I don't know if I'm ready for 'that' step, Cameron." River said. "It might be overwhelming for me to need to deal with an infant. I wouldn't make a good 'mother'."

Cameron looked at River. It was clear there was more.

"I would, River." Cameron said. "I really think I could make a good mother."

River could feel her pain, pleading, as Cameron begged her. It all happened soundlessly without words being spoken.

She wanted out of the conversation. She didn't want to hurt or offend Cameron either. She wanted to try to change the subject or redirect the conversation.

"Can you make me look Tight like you and Allison?" River asked as she hoped to direct Cameron's thoughts elsewhere. "I've never looked as pretty as you two."

Cameron felt a little rebuffed. She could understand River's hesitation, even if she couldn't. She needed to remind herself, it wasn't her place to push anyone else. It didn't matter what her goal or objectives were. She needed to remind herself other people mattered as well. It was something she learned from Savannah.

"Yes." Cameron said. "I can help you look even more beautiful."

River couldn't help but blush a little. No one ever told her she was beautiful before. Not the way Cameron did.

"Thank you." River said.

Cameron could tell River was very uncomfortable about going as far as she wanted her to go. It was time to drop it for now.

"Let me get my things and we can go to your room." Cameron said.

Cameron arrived at River's room a few minutes later with all her supplies. She slipped her poem book under River's pillow. She looked at the cover as she quietly hid it under the pillow.

MY STORY

(Art Of The Mind)

By

NOBODY

Cameron started River's makeover.

Vanna, Allison, and Jesse were out and about. They spotted Cameron and River.

Allison took a moment to look at Cameron and River. She couldn't help but feel she fell short on multiple levels with either of them.

"How does River look better than me?" Allison asked. "Look at her!"

Vanna knew there was a lot of 'girl' in River. She was never forced to become a 'woman' in the Wastelands. Some aspects of her life were still pure and innocent, even with the hurt and pain.

"Maybe you should start wearing a dress and living care free." Vanna told her.

Jesse was always turned on when she was around River.

"I don't know about Vanna, but THREE of you, who look the same, being Hot and Tight, is more than I can handle." Jesse said. "I need to go to my room right now."

River glanced over at the girls. She focused her attention on Jesse. She liked to 'feel' Jesse alone. She'd been outside Jesse's room before. She believed Jesse was able to attain a higher level of self-satisfaction, than any other individual she was able to 'experience'.

It was a nice feeling too….

Cameron laid out her plan for John and the future. He didn't have a say in what she wanted to happen, or how it was to be done. He still needed to voice his concerns. He believed Cameron overlooked several important issues.

"Cameron, I don't think this is a good subject to talk about." John said.

Cameron thought it was. It was all very straight forward.

"John, it's what I want. Do I ever ask for much?" Cameron asked.

John really felt Cameron was overstepping with her ideas. It was actually hard to believe she would go so far.

"What you're asking, and basically demanding, is something which is life changing." John said. "I don't think it's something River can do, or should do. I don't think it's something she wants to do."

Cameron saw it for what it was.

"John, she's special." Cameron said.

John really wished Cameron could see she was too. She couldn't.

"So are you, Cameron." John said.

Cameron ignored him as usual. Her goal was the objective. What happened in between the start and the end didn't matter. It was to finish which mattered.

"River is human, John. She's real. She's 'like' me in many ways." Cameron said. "It would be the best of both worlds, for you."

John saw it all differently. He wondered what kind of pressure Cameron applied to River. He was aware Cameron could be very threatening at times. He was aware some of Cameron's actions could be a little extreme.

"She's a little scared by being out of her time. She wants to go home." John said. "Is she afraid of you? Have you done anything to her?"

There was a look of awe on Cameron's face.

"River is afraid of no one, or anything." Cameron said.

John went over the reports of the biker incident and listened to the girls first hand. What occurred inside of the building was as impressive, as it was violent and deadly. Nonetheless, it's what occurred.

"So I've heard." John said.

Cameron wanted to make sure John understood River's skill level and effectiveness.

"I couldn't have done what she did as quickly, or as efficiently." Cameron said in amazement. "I would have needed to use a firearm to equal her."

The latest revelation made John wonder. Maybe there was a deeper potential than what Cameron had in mind. Maybe there was something to protect the future.

"Is she a match for Mrs. Weaver?" John asked. "Is she a match for Skynet?"

Cameron was aware not every 'match' was physical.

"Maybe she is." Cameron said. "She's better than me at everything, for EVERYTHING."

John rolled his eyes. He didn't want Cameron to go down the same path again. Once she got on it, it was very hard to get her off of it.

'You must replace me with her.' Cameron thought.

River was everything Cameron was, and everything Cameron was not….

It made River perfect in Cameron's mind.

'Song Sung Blue' by 'Neil Diamond', played in the background.

Closing monologue by Cameron:

Beg You

YOU are someone special
You have much to share and give
With many years ahead still full of life
For which you must WANT to live

Each vice is like a nail
In the cold coffin of life
You must TRY to slay them
Emerge from the strife

YOU are young and healthy
A wealth exists within your soul
You have shared the beauty of your mind
May I help you become whole

Many demons we face
We can create ourselves
Allow me to assist you
To put them on shelves

I know I'm not much, Nobody
I know I'm tainted and nothing to behold
I BEG YOU to touch and warm your heart
When life is crushing and grows cold

Nobody