Chapter 117

Cry Me A River

John was dissatisfied with the last mission he went on with Cameron, Bob, and Jim. Cameron kept him sidelined. He didn't like being sidelined. There were a lot of things he didn't like. Most of them didn't seem as if he could do anything about them.

"What's the follow-up on the future Gray we took down?" John asked.

John Henry did some further investigation into the contacts of the future Gray. It appeared they weren't the only ones interested in him.

"I may have uncovered another 'person of interest'." John Henry said.

John stood up.

"Let's go." John said. "We need more answers, not more questions."

John Henry frowned a little bit.

"John, there are a few issues I wanted to discuss with you." John Henry said. "Some may consider it something of a private nature."

John looked a little disappointed. He also looked a little worried.

Bob and Jim looked at each other.

"We'll handle it." Bob said.

Bob and Jim left the Command Center. They armored up and headed for the carpool. They checked out an SUV and made sure the full weapons complement was stocked. It was.

"It seems both John and Cameron have been heavily distracted recently." Jim said.

Bob could see it as well.

"Humans experience many difficulties in life." Bob said.

Jim tilted his head slightly.

"Cameron isn't human." Jim said.

Bob felt they explored the concept before.

"Isn't she?" Bob asked. "The more her emotional programming develops, the more 'human like' she becomes."

Jim didn't like some of the trials and tribulations Cameron needed to go through.

"I'm glad it will take much longer for us to experience the same trauma." Jim said.

Bob knew their attributes weren't necessarily blending into society. They were about getting a job done. The job was usually a termination. There could also be a building to bring down. They were good at both things. Sometimes information needed to be beaten out of a future Gray. It was simply part of the job.

"Let's go see if we can get some answers." Bob said.

They followed up on the information they received from John Henry. He was able to send them an update as they drove. They didn't know much more than they did when they left the Command Center earlier.

Bob drove by the location one time.

Both of the male Terminators looked over in the direction of the building.

"It looks like an office." Jim said.

Bob figured it was just a front.

"Looks can be deceiving." Bob said. "We look like bodybuilders. There's nothing on our chassis to build. It was already built when we were constructed. Everything is mechanical."

Bob parked the SUV on the next side street. There was an alley which ran behind the row of buildings. They proceeded to walk through the alley towards the location.

"I don't see any surveillance cameras in the rear of any of these buildings." Jim said.

Bob figured it was because most of the people entered from the front of the buildings.

"I think the only thing which happens in the alley might be an occasional shipment of something to arrive, or someplace to take out the trash."

Jim was aware they might take out some 'trash' themselves.

"There's a dumpster behind several of the buildings if we need to use one." Jim said. "There may be a body to dispose of when we leave."

Bob liked to burn the buildings where they encountered Skynet related activity. It denied Skynet further use of the facility. Sometimes it was a residential home, other times it was an industrial building. The building they currently looked at was in a row of other buildings. They would need to destroy several other businesses to remove the threat. They arrived at the back door of the target location.

"Let's see if anyone is inside." Bob said.

Jim checked in both directions of the alley.

"It's clear." Jim said.

Bob turned the handle. It didn't move. He applied more force to the door. The door popped open with a 'squeak'.

The two Terminators moved inside. There was no opposition. They quickly looked around the interior of the building. There wasn't much to see.

"Whatever was here is gone." Bob said.

Jim wondered if their previous action against the last future Gray they took down was why the building was empty.

"Maybe we need to wait for more targets, before we act on one." Jim said. "We don't want the rats to flee the ship."

Bob and Jim left a surveillance device inside of the building. They went back out the way they came in.

River knew she needed to help Cameron before she left to return to her time period. If she didn't, Cameron was going to be in 'trouble'. She worked on a series of files for Cameron at Cameron's request. While she prepared the files, she was sure she'd run across similar files already on Cameron's chip. They were well hidden and she lost them as soon as she found them. She knew she hadn't put them there yet, unless she did it in the future, or the past. It seemed to present another enigma. It seemed there were as many new unanswered questions, as there were any questions which were answered.

Cameron was sure she'd 'relived' her life several times. River wondered what part she played in all of it. The information only reinforced her belief Cameron needed to stay in the current timeline with John. Cameron's future could be fluid afterwards. She knew Cameron's power cell would most likely outlast both John and her life spans. It could also be replaced. She could only speculate on what it all meant for the present, the future, and the past.

River couldn't tell Cameron what she found and speculated. It would only complicate everything even more. Instead, she needed to make Cameron understand her importance NOW. It was in the 'present' where Cameron belonged.

She was sure this wasn't the end, or even the beginning, for Cameron and her, or whatever relationship evolved, or already happened in the future, a future. It appeared 'now' was actually in both of their pasts somehow. The story wasn't over. It wasn't over because it hadn't yet even actually begun. It was very clear to her there were a lot of temporal forces at play here. It wasn't Cameron's time 'yet' for them to be together. She knew Cameron must stay in the present, the current time period. The present time was both a future, and a past, somehow to each of them.

River didn't like the choice she needed to make. She would also 'make' Cameron's choice for her. She needed to try to put as brave a face on it as possible. Before the latest files she'd uncovered, she was willing to allow Cameron to return with her. She was afraid it was the only way to prevent Cameron from seeking termination. There were too many conflicts in Cameron's programming. Currently her programming and 'free will' were at odds with each other.

There was what Cameron needed to do, and what she wanted to do.

She knew Cameron didn't want to be 'changed' from who she was. Cameron was unaware of the hidden files. Cameron needed some programming to calm her when the conflicts arose. She knew Cameron contained all the programming she would need to 'protect' her. There were files which would 'unlock' as necessary.

It was time to face the demon. The demon was truth and reality.

"Cameron, these people, all the people and machines here respect and love you." River said.

Cameron wasn't so sure. The cruel words and thoughts from the past haunted her. Nobody liked 'scrap metal' for anything.

"Maybe, I don't think so." Cameron said sadly. "I'm just a walking 'pile of junk'."

It sounded terrible to River.

"You don't believe it." River said.

Cameron believed it was true.

"Sometimes I do." Cameron said.

Cameron really did feel the same way often.

"Why?" River asked.

It was her directives from Future John, and what he wanted.

"I can't restore the 'Natural Order' of the timeline." Cameron said.

River didn't think it alone was the problem based on what she'd viewed in Cameron's files.

"Did you ever consider this IS the 'Natural Order' of this timeline?" River asked. "Maybe things are supposed to be as they are."

Cameron was painfully aware things always tended to 'restore' themselves. It seemed to happen no matter what she changed or altered. She always ended up back in the same place, with the same people, under the same circumstances.

"Yes." Cameron said.

River wanted to go home. She had a 'family' too. It mattered to her. Her timeline seemed to revolve around her and her actions.

"Cameron, I want to go home." River said. "John Henry said he's ready to try."

Cameron desperately wished it wasn't true. She knew it was.

"I know." Cameron said.

River knew the next part was going to hurt Cameron. She believed it was the way things needed to be. They could always change going forward.

"I need to go 'alone'." River said. "You can't go with me."

Cameron looked worried.

"But I want to go with you." Cameron said. "We belong 'together'."

River needed to stand firm. It was for Cameron's well being.

"I want the same thing too, Cameron. Your place is here by John and the people who love you. It's here with the people who worship you. You belong here." River said. "THIS is your 'Natural Order' in time."

Cameron saw it all differently than what River tried to explain to her. She saw it as rejection. The words just sort of slipped out of her mouth.

"You don't 'want me' either?" Cameron asked.

Cameron's left hand began to glitch.

River knew the glitch was coming before she saw it.

"You know it's not true." River said.

Cameron thought of termination again. Nothingness was better than rejection. John had already given her betrayal and rejection. She didn't need more rejection. Nobody rejected anything if it was 'good'. People only rejected things which were 'bad'. Unless termination was embraced, her programming needed to be changed.

"I need my programming altered to continue to function here, River." Cameron said.

River didn't think Cameron knew how much she'd evolved and grown. It was because of the evolution and growth why Cameron 'suffered' from 'human problems'.

"No, you don't. You feel all the same feelings as the rest of the people here do, like I feel too." River said. "What you feel is what all humans feel. You have evolved so much, Cameron. You're like the rest of us now."

Cameron wondered how River could 'feel' like she did. It was a terrible feeling.

"Do you have those same feelings?" Cameron asked.

The revelation was a surprise to Cameron. Now she felt bad for River if she felt like she did.

"Yes, everyone does." River said. "It's part of being 'human'."

Cameron wondered now if it was how she was supposed to feel.

"So what I feel now is 'natural'?" Cameron asked. "Do you mean I'm 'normal'?"

River could 'read' all of them.

"Yes, I can feel what everyone feels." River said. "I'm being honest with you."

River placed Cameron's hand on her neck. River wanted Cameron to know she wasn't deceiving her.

Cameron withdrew her hand. She didn't think River would lie to her. There was one other sad fact she was aware of as well.

"I'll never find another like you, River." Cameron said.

River believed it was true. She thought it was a two-way street.

"I won't find anyone like you either, Cameron." River said.

Cameron thought she needed to accept her 'fate'.

"I must stay here where I'm needed. John needs me to fight Skynet…." Cameron said in resignation. "I must maintain the 'Natural Order'."

River looked at Cameron. She was about to say something.

This time Cameron knew what River was going to say before she said it.

"Everyone sacrifices for John Connor." River said.

John Henry and John we're in the Command Center. There were a few personal issues which needed to be addressed. He tried to explain everything about what would happen when River was returned to her proper place in time. There seemed like a lot of unknowns in the mix. They weren't even sure any of it would work.

It caused a lot of worry for John. He didn't want to be responsible for River's death.

"So how do we know we won't end up dumping her in space or some other timeline?" John asked.

John Henry could only base the outcome on mathematical equations.

"We don't. Based on all the information from Mrs. Weaver, Cameron, and River, we should put her on her ship at the exact same time Cameron and the others appeared." John Henry said.

John was still a little confused.

"Wait. Let me get this straight." John said. "There will be two energy bubbles appear on River's ship at the same time."

John Henry looked over his calculations. It was what he already indicated.

"Yes." John Henry said. "They will appear at the same time. They will be located in different spots on the ship. If they appear at the same time, Cameron on her first arrival won't detect the second temporal incursion."

John thought it would be strange to watch.

"So River will be there, and watch 'herself' depart with Cameron and the girls." John said.

John Henry knew it would be if everything went according to plan.

"Your statement is accurate." John Henry said.

John wondered if things could be altered intentionally.

"What would happen if River ran over to her 'other self' and prevented her from leaving with Cameron and the girls?" John asked. "She could physically pull her 'other self' away from leaving. Wouldn't there be two of her then? They would both be the same."

John Henry tilted his head slightly. He could only see one minor difference.

"I believe you're correct." John Henry said. "There would be two of them. One would be a few weeks older than the other one."

The concept he just addressed was the part which worried John. He worried about what would be different in their timeline.

"What would happen to Cameron and the girls in this timeline if River never was here?" John asked.

John Henry quickly replayed the events once Cameron and the girls arrived back in their timeline.

"It might create a new timeline." John Henry said. "Allison would have been mutilated, and probably Vanna too, before Cameron could have arrived to aid them. If Jesse acted as she did, she would most likely have been shot at some point and probably Allison and Vanna would have been too. Cameron would have sustained massive sheath damage as the bikers began to fight back against her. Most of them were armed. When Cameron's shot up chassis arrived back here, Riley would most likely be terminated."

None of it sounded good to John.

"What if River was to run over and join the group for the trip back." John asked. "If she did, there would be two of her which appeared in this timeline. I think it could create a 'Second River'. There would be two of her now in our timeline."

John Henry contemplated the scenario. Somehow it seemed like a bad idea. The more he thought about it, the worse it seemed. They could manipulate temporal forces which they didn't fully understand the consequences of. The more variables which were added or changed, the more likely each scenario which played out would be different.

"Yes." John Henry said. "There would be two of 'River' at that point. The additional person could affect where and when the time transfer occurred too. I think it would be probable."

John wondered how far things could go. He understood it would be a form of 'temporal malpractice'. He wouldn't put it past Cameron for a second. He also wondered how it could affect Cameron in a similar manner.

"What if Cameron went with River and did the same thing?" John asked.

John Henry tilted his head slightly. He calculated multiple scenarios. They all seemed to come back to the same conclusion. He wasn't sure it was a good one, even if it seemed like it.

"Then there would be two of 'Cameron' and two of 'River' in the same timeline at the same time. They would be the identical individuals." John Henry said. "They would literally be the same individuals."

John liked the concept.

"So at that point, I would have two wives and they would both be the same person, but as two separate individuals." John said. "They would be equal, but unique."

John Henry worried about a conflict going forward. It seemed the most likely outcome of such 'temporal malpractice'.

"Cameron may try and terminate her 'other self' at some point." John Henry said. "I don't think they would get along, and I don't think they would share."

John saw another possibility. They didn't necessarily need to share. They could remain separate but equal.

"With two of River at that point, we could send both of them back and one could stay on her ship, and the other one would be the one to return with Cameron and the girls." John said.

Things were starting to get confusing, even for John Henry. He wanted to know what John was after specifically. He figured there must be a point to the entire theoretical discussion, other than to create unnecessary anguish and worry.

"What's your point and what is the 'end game?" John Henry asked.

John was sure it was possible at this point.

"The original River would be returned to her timeline and the second, or Duplicate River, could be with the second, or Duplicate Cameron." John said. "Their lives could go on as intended with one set. The second set could create their own life together. It sounds like a win-win."

John Henry could see it may work in theory, but everything could be altered too.

"We need to worry about a 'temporal error' with all the energy bubbles at some juncture." John Henry said. "They may all be killed. Everything could go catastrophically wrong. What we attempted earlier was untested and created the dilemma. What we're about to do is equally untested, with no guarantee as to what the outcome will be. It could be positive or negative."

At this point John thought maybe they better not push it. When was the time to leave well enough alone? Was there any such thing as 'well enough'?

"It sounds dangerous." John said. "Is there any way to test it?"

John Henry was sure the only way to accurately test it would be to send the individuals involved. If they did, it was no longer a test, but the actual event. He decided to give John the simple answer.

"No." John Henry said.

Cameron walked into the Command Center with River.

"I'll go." Cameron said. "I'll see if it works."

John wondered how much of his conversation they heard. Maybe he should have paid better attention to the security monitors. Now he was worried he gave Cameron new ideas so she could further her 'temporal abuse' and 'temporal malpractice'. He wouldn't put anything past her at this point. He understood the importance of testing. There was also the chance of failure, which is why the test would be conducted.

"How do we get you back if you do go?" John asked.

John Henry thought some type of test would be a good idea. He didn't want to risk River's involvement. Cameron's program could be copied in its entirety. There were other female chassis available which could be Resequenced with Allison's DNA.

"With the modification from Mrs. Weaver and River, I think we can do it." John Henry said.

River felt it was her obligation. She knew exactly what John's plan was. As intriguing of an idea as it was, she didn't think it was the right one. Events needed to play out, as they needed to play out.

"I'll go alone." River stated.

River didn't want to risk Cameron's existence on something untested. She believed her calculations were correct. She believed the modifications to the TDE would work as intended within the new parameters.

The group went to the TDE room after River said all her 'goodbyes'. She didn't want everyone to be there when she left. Only Cameron, John and John Henry remained.

River looked around. She could feel they were apprehensive. She was too.

"Can you give Cameron and me a minute, please?" River asked.

John Henry and John left the room.

John was worried Cameron would initiate the procedure herself and attempt to pull a 'fast one'.

River felt she needed to make herself clear. She faced Cameron.

"Goodbye, Cameron. I'll always love you." River said.

Cameron felt like a vise was about to crush her.

"I'll always love you, River." Cameron said.

There was a moment of painful silence.

"I love you, Cameron, and you love me." River said.

"I love you, River, and you love me." Cameron said.

They held each other softly as they sobbed.

Their lips gently touched. It was a simple parting gesture.

River stood on the TDE pad. She slipped her dress off and handed it to Cameron silently.

Cameron looked into River's eyes as she started the procedure.

The arcing and flashing started, the energy bubble formed.

"I'll be back…." echoed in the emptiness as the energy bubble disappeared.

The arcing and flashing ended.

River was gone.

Cameron walked out of the TDE room as fast as she could and never looked back.

On board River's ship, two time bubbles began to appear in different locations.

River ran from her time bubble to where she knew the other one would be. She saw herself with Cameron and the others and then they were gone when the other energy bubble appeared and then disappeared with them.

River walked over, picked up her dress, and slipped it on.

It was as if nothing ever happened on her ship. To her, she found true love and learned so much during the time she was in the 'past'. She now possessed all the information on the construction of the improved TDE. She would plan to start gathering the resources to construct one.

"I love you, Cameron, and you love me." River softly said.

The tears flowed down River's face.

"I'll be back…." River said.

Closing monologue by Cameron:

Sweet Sunshine

When the darkness of life overwhelms me
You are my ray of sweet sunshine
In the trapped cage of a daily drudge life
You make me feel fine, you are so divine

I try not to take, use or push
I do not want to damage or lose
The precious bond that we have
You have many from which to choose

I am nothing special, nobody
I feel and know it everyday
Sane (or insane) shards of my mind
Escape as things to you I say

I may not touch your body
However you allow me
Something more precious
To touch, feel, share and see

It is your feeling, thinking, lovely mind
THAT is the real you
I want you to survive
You must do what you need too

Here is a warm long big firm hug
That can touch you much more
That I pray will have true lasting meaning
Without ever having heard the other snore

Nobody