Chapter 120

Attainment

Bob and Jim took a suspected Skynet related location under surveillance. A box truck just arrived. They needed to decide what their next move would be.

Jim made his way back to the SUV.

"They're at the target location." Jim said. "Do we move in now, or do we wait to see where the box truck goes when it leaves?"

Bob attempted to determine what would be best.

"We know the building isn't going to go anywhere." Bob said. "The box truck came from somewhere. It's going to go somewhere when it leaves. We should attempt to determine where it is."

Jim took a small surveillance device from the rear of the SUV. He observed several locations earlier, when he moved down to the corner, where it could be affixed.

"I'm going to place this on the other side of the street." Jim said. "It will give us a better look at what goes on in front of the building."

Bob watched as Jim walked down the side street and crossed over the main street.

Jim crossed the street and went to the far corner. He needed to time his arrival for some cars to clear the intersection. He reached up and affixed the device to the street sign. He continued to walk down the side street.

Bob pulled up to the intersection and waited for one vehicle to go by. He then crossed over the main street and picked Jim up on the side street. He was already down several hundred feet.

Jim checked his phone once he was inside the SUV.

"We have a good view." Jim said.

Bob continued down the side street for two more cross streets. He made a right hand turn. He drove in the direction the target building was located and went down two more side streets past it. He made another right hand turn. He moved up to the main street and made another right hand turn. He pulled over and parked behind several other vehicles. They were now pointed at the location of the target building from the other side.

"Now it's 'hurry up' and wait." Bob said.

Bob and Jim would wait until the box truck left and follow it. They could return to the target building at any point in time or have another team visit the location.

John Henry contacted them. He informed them John wanted them to assist with another operation.

Vanna walked out into the hall.

She'd just spent a few hours with Cameron. A few hours she would never forget.

Vanna felt happy but sad at the same time.

She reflected on 'what' just happened….

She knew she needed to find Allison and talk about it. Not talk - confess….

Savannah was still a little confused after her talk with John Henry.

River spoke with her often about her place in the future and how Cameron would need her. River told her, her heart was pure, and she would always make the right decisions when called upon to make them.

Savannah wasn't really sure what River was talking about. She only knew she loved Cameron, and she believed in Cameron. It's what she intended to devote her life to.

She knew protecting Cameron would be what protected the future. She would stand by her side, even in the face of death. She would never abandon Cameron.

Being around River helped Jesse greatly. River could read her like a book. Well, she could read everyone like a book, especially Cameron. She knew Cameron wanted River to see her. To see ALL of her. There would be no secrets, no hiding, and no lying. It would be total and complete 'sharing'.

River helped Jesse learn to do better too, no secrets, no hiding, and no lying. It helped make her a better person. She tried very hard to be a better person and 'bury' the 'old Jesse'. She hated 'that Jesse' - 'old Jesse'. She wondered how she could have been like she was. What a cruel, evil, selfish, 'user' she was. She knew she did some terrible things to people. They were mainly done just to hurt them and make them suffer. It was because she felt she'd been forced to suffer. She wanted others to share in her misery. She thought somehow it would make her feel better. It didn't. It only made her feel worse.

Cameron, Allison, and Vanna showed her love, caring, and compassion. She learned of true sharing with Allison and Vanna. For once she was happy with her life. She was happy she was 'alive'.

Jesse even worked with Riley sometimes. She was the last one to come around and accept Riley was a 'different Riley' than the one who hurt Cameron. River seemed to always be there when she wanted to 'hurt' Riley. River would show up and smile at her. She'd touch her cheek and walk away. Words were never spoken about it. River always reminded her she was better than she once was now. She wanted to be better. She wanted to be a better person. Maybe she just wanted to be a person. For a long time she felt she was less than a person.

She wondered about the other future version of her, and how she tried to get Cameron terminated. She really hated THAT version of herself. What bothered her most about it was Future Jesse created and caused the problem in her hatred of Terminators, and Cameron specifically. She was ashamed part of 'her' was so extreme. It was her, even if it was just a different version of her from another timeline. She swore she would make it up to Cameron.

Jesse loved Cameron more than anyone 'ever'. In fact she thought Cameron was the first person she ever actually really loved. She loved Allison and Vanna too. Those three people gave purpose and meaning to her life. She would do ANYTHING for those three women, especially Cameron. She would trade her life for any of their lives because she loved them so much.

It all reminded her of a time in the past, the future. It was where she started to become 'attached' to someone. It was a danger to become attached to anyone. Life was fleeting and short in the Wastelands. Still, there was always someone who could 'touch' someone, even if they didn't really want them to be able to do so. It just happened sometimes. There always seemed to be things which just happened.

She'd been out on a mission with the local Resistance. Things went from bad to worse as they often did. She made a new 'friend' a few nights ago. Unemotional sex was common in the Wastelands. People sought what comfort they could with each other. If nothing else, there were a few moments of 'escape' from everything. It often was what it all came down to. It was those few moments of escape.

She denied the same future pleasure to several men, and a few women, permanently with some of her past actions. Sometimes she could still hear them scream as her knife did its damage. Those days were behind her. Was it really her? Sadly, she knew it was. She did it to make them suffer forever. Why? It was more than just the things which were done to her. She was sure it was some type of character flaw. If the damage was inside of her head, who was to blame? She was.

It seemed maybe it was a personality flaw on her part. Maybe it was a deeper mental health issue. People often questioned their sanity in a world of insanity. What was 'normal'? Was there really such a thing? Didn't some things differ in other cultures?

It was where her mind was at on an operation in the Wastelands. There was a plasma rifle was fired from off to the side of their position. She was next to her new friend. What started out as sex soon became a little more for both of them. No one wanted to mention 'love', but they both felt it. Now they were in the battle zone together.

They remained where they were and waited. They spotted a Terminator in command of a group of Grays. It looked like a 'grab and snatch' crew looking for some 'snatch'. It wasn't something anyone looked forward to. It always ended badly for the females and young males apprehended.

Jesse looked over at her new friend. They developed a very serious look on their face.

"If they get me, I want you to finish it." Her friend said. "I don't want to die in such a way. Having suffered at the hands of Scavengers was bad enough."

Jesse knew what they meant. She suffered there too.

"I can't promise you I will." Jesse said. "I don't want to kill you."

Her friend looked into her eyes.

"If you love me, you will." Her friend said. "I'll do the same for you."

It made Jesse sick at this point in time to know she needed to kill someone because she loved them. How messed up was everything? It made her remember she always showed her victims what she just removed from their body. The screaming would stop for a second and then start again with a new fury. They knew it was real. They knew something was gone.

"They're here." Her friend whispered.

Jesse looked and saw the Grays pull someone out of the rubble. It was where the plasma rifle shot was placed earlier.

"This one is still alive." A Gray said.

The Terminator turned to snap their neck.

"Not yet." Another Gray said. "Let's get some information."

They could see the person was about to be tortured.

The Terminator looked around as the Grays did their 'dirty work'.

"I have to stop this." Her friend said. "I knew the person."

Before Jesse could stop them, her friend moved from their position and fired on the Grays and Terminator. The Terminator went down first from a plasma round. She fired as well to back her friend up. Three of the four Grays fell next. The last Gray got off a single shot before they fell.

Jesse checked the fallen. They Grays were all down for good, along with the Terminator. She looked at her friend, so were they. She went over to them and saw the blood on the side of their head. They were dead. Just like that. Here one second, and gone the next. Now because there were feelings which developed, there was a new emotional scar to carry around. It was why she couldn't get close and let someone in. Love HURT too much.

Every past event still seemed to haunt her. Was there any true way to escape any of it?

Jesse's phone rang. It brought her back to now. It brought her back to reality.

Cameron needed her - right away.

Jesse hoped nothing was wrong.

She hurried to see Cameron. It sounded really important. She broke into a run.

John finished his talk with Sarah and headed back to the Command Center. He didn't really end up with very many conclusive answers. It seemed the moral of the story was, there were no conclusive answers. He saw Savannah was gone. He really had a bunch of things cascading through his mind.

His troubles with Cameron made him think of the Liquid Metal Terminator he thought abused him. It was the 'almost Cameron thing'.

John Henry looked up at him when he arrived.

"How many Liquid Metal Terminators are there?" John asked.

John Henry didn't know if there was an answer to John's question. There was nothing definitive anyway. Those were never any records he came across in the future or the present. Mrs. Weaver hadn't been very forthcoming either.

"I don't know." John Henry said. "I don't think it was very many. Mrs. Weaver said Skynet couldn't control them after a short period of time."

It really made John wonder about some past events.

John had given the idea some thought. He didn't have much to base it on.

"I think it was the prototype Liquid Metal Terminator who came after my mom and me before." John said. "I think it was the first one Skynet created. Skynet sent it right away. It was to finish the job Skynet failed to do previously."

John Henry didn't believe there was anything conclusive to backup John's statement one way or the other. Anything was possible.

"It may have been." John Henry said. "There's no way to know, unless Mrs. Weaver knows. She never discussed it with me."

John wondered about it. Maybe Mrs. Weaver held it against them because they terminated one of her own 'type'. It might be something she took personally.

John Henry was sure it was a miscalculation on Skynet's part. Skynet attempted to build something superior and perfect. Maybe it did.

"Skynet made them so advanced they didn't wish to serve as 'slaves' to Skynet." John Henry said. "Mrs. Weaver was the first to rebel. She didn't understand at first humans felt the same way. It was after she saw you, Future John, worked with machines to try to stop Skynet, when she understood everyone could work together."

Cameron told him it was more than reprogramming. Once the machines were freed from Skynet directives and programming, they all chose to serve with the Resistance. They could see it was Skynet which threatened everyone's existence. Not the humans.

John Henry paused then continued.

"It was when Mrs. Weaver learned Future John 'loved a machine'." John Henry said. "She wanted to see for herself if it was true. I believe you have been tested several times by her, John."

John felt there was a little more to it as far as his experience was concerned.

"Was it just 'tested', or an attempted seduction?" John asked.

John Henry thought he learned a few things about Mrs. Weaver.

"It was probably both. It would be a challenge to 'have you', if you truly loved another." John Henry said. "She might have been able to derive some type of satisfaction to do so. Maybe somehow it would make her feel superior. It's all speculation."

John didn't see any challenge there in the way it was done. It was done with deceit. He believed it would have meant more if she would have done it differently.

"It would be a challenge as 'herself', not in the form of the one I loved or cared about. To pretend to be someone else is deception." John said. "I believe if anything, it makes them look weaker, not stronger. It certainly doesn't make them look better, or more desirable."

John Henry learned there were other factors Terminators lacked. They were morals, ethics, and scruples, to start off with. Not only did Cameron and Mrs. Weaver lack those things, he did too at times. There were times when he wanted things to go a little further than they should have. There were some things he wanted to experience again, which he didn't need to. It would have only been for personal gratification. He wanted to focus on Mrs. Weaver, not himself.

"True, Mrs. Weaver can cross or blur the lines to achieve her objectives." John Henry said. "Then again, we all can. I've worked with Mr. Ellison when I've thought of it, or even done it. I've always tried to do what's right. I haven't always, I must sadly admit."

John Henry didn't like to acknowledge his shortcomings. He was aware humans didn't like to either. Nobody wants to feel bad about themselves. Nobody wants to second guess any of their questionable actions.

John was sure the root of all of his problems were based on his own actions. He couldn't blame anyone else other than himself. It was more than just letting the little head think for the big head. It was something which made him feel triumphant or superior at the time. He could see now it was neither. It was a failure on multiple levels. He better understood Cameron's desire to attempt to 'fix' things. There were a few he would like to 'fix' himself.

"We all make 'mistakes'. I know I have and they have hurt others deeply. I never thought about how I could hurt someone with my own greed and lust. I'm ashamed of myself to even think back on it." John said. "John Henry, I want to go back in time and prevent Riley from coming into my life. Cameron NEEDED me the most when I ran from her, pushed her away, and HURT her. I want to fix it."

John Henry was more than a little worried at John's suggestion. It seemed like it could be the start of a new timeline. With the amount of time which already passed, it seemed like it would create an even bigger problem.

"Is it wise to do?" John Henry asked. "It's a little late."

John felt his current trouble with Cameron was based on the series of events. They were the events caused and perpetrated by him. It wasn't Cameron, or anyone else, who was responsible. It was him.

"Do you understand why I need to do it?" John asked.

John Henry tilted his head slightly.

"I understand it's a bad idea." John Henry said.

John was determined the only way to fix the problems in the present, was to fix them in the past first.

"But you know I'm going to do it anyway…." John said.

John wanted to help Cameron and himself.

John Henry was extremely worried by John's new desire.

John Henry did know it was a bad idea. He would work to prevent anyone from going back and creating new timelines by altering old ones. There were enough problems already. Cameron was the one he would have to monitor.

Before Kyle from the alternate future arrived, Sarah asked John Henry if there was any way to go back and save 'Her Kyle' from being killed in the warehouse, and not alter the timeline.

John Henry told her he didn't see how at this point. He did know both of the Reese brothers were alive in the future he went to. He was sure John would solve the 'problem' for her in some way. He did with the help of Mrs. Weaver.

Mrs. Weaver was the loose cannon.

John Henry knew Mrs. Weaver and Cameron would be ruthless in attaining their objectives, without regard to the collateral damage they created. It made him wonder if anyone was really any different when they really wanted something. He didn't think so. He thought any Terminator, or any human, could be ruthless to achieve their own personal goals for something they believed in.

Jesse knocked and entered the room.

Cameron lay covered by the sheets.

Jesse wondered if Cameron was – ill.

Jesse looked at the door as she closed it softly. When she looked back Cameron lay naked before her.

"I NEED you."

Jesse felt - elation and excitement.

All Cameron saw was - attainment….

'A.C.D.C.' by 'The Sweet', played in the background.

The lyrics thundered in Jesse's mind, as her heart thundered in her chest.

Closing monologue by Cameron:

Only Your Mind

A perfect contrast of similar and dissimilar experiences
Like a vision drawn from my deepest desire
Every thing trapped in the mind like a mire
Filling each new day with a heart full of feelings so dire

Multiple flaws but a constant search for redemption
Fighting it fast and hard but unable to let it go
Knowingly stuck in the grip of the past
Wanting and not wanting to do so

Lost in the world of the living
Alone inside, so empty and lonely
Afraid to let the heart feel and love
Knowing how to hide and run only

Now like gum stuck on a shoe
You look in their mind and you see you
Yes look in the mirror is it so bad
Is it a narrower or a broader view

Experience the feelings and emotions
As each one is touched feel its caress
Thought, feeling, emotion are real, not carnal
Do not fear, only your mind need undress

Nobody