Chapter 128

Hello Love

The mission at the Skynet facility was an overall success. The downside was Riley was shot, and was 'out' cold. Her vest absorbed most of the blast from the shotgun. It was still a heavy blow for the human body to take.

The teams pulled away from the raging inferno and left it behind.

They destroyed some version of 'Skynet', and captured another Terminator for parts, or to harvest the Coltan for projectiles.

Cameron checked Riley out herself and made sure she wasn't hurt too bad, she would survive. She was relieved to learn it wasn't as severe as it could have been. After having tried to 'mend the fence' with Riley, she didn't want to be thought of as 'allowing' Riley to be terminated under her watch. She could picture the whispers now. She didn't want any finger pointing.

She even took a round of bullets meant for Riley herself. She sustained some sheath damage doing it. She would do it again. She would do it for any of the Resistance team. It didn't matter if they were human or not.

Cameron wanted all of their team on the same page. She didn't want any hard feelings among them, either human or Terminator. She worked hard to make sure no one would have any problems with her. She seemed to have enough problems on her own. Somehow most of those seemed to be created by herself. She didn't need, or want, any more.

She couldn't help but think about the way she was first treated by Sarah, John, and Derek. She did things to help all of them personally. They were things she would have done anyway. She could have chosen not to do them, and let them suffer the consequences. She didn't. She stepped up and did the 'right thing'. Knowing how they felt about her didn't make it any easier.

Cameron personally tended to Riley as soon as they got back to the base.

Holly, Jesse, and Gail all assisted her. Jesse volunteered to wash and clean Riley, as well as change her clothes with help from Holly and Gail. It allowed all three of them to carefully 'inspect' Riley and make sure there was no additional damage.

Cameron watched them from the side of the bed. She observed everything there was to 'see' on Riley.

She couldn't help but notice, Holly and Gail seemed to have some 'attachment' to Riley. It was also apparent Jesse and Gail were rapidly becoming 'friendlier'. She thought of some future plans. It would be better for John if ALL the girls were tied to each other, or a Metal girl. Being attached to the Metal girls would further insure their safety. She began to formulate a plan.

It wasn't long after they finished cleaning Riley up when she stirred.

Riley's eyes opened slowly.

Jesse held her hand.

"Hello, love." Jesse said.

Gail, Holly, and Cameron were there as well.

"We've been with you since you were hurt." Cameron said. "I need to apologize for not watching over you better."

Riley looked around. She was somewhat confused.

She noticed Cameron's face started to heal already. She felt bad because she'd caused the damage by not being careful enough. Cameron wasn't the one who should be apologizing to her. She was the one who needed to apologize to Cameron.

"I'm sorry, Cameron…." Riley started.

Cameron absentmindedly touched her face. It wasn't nearly as bad as some of the damage she sustained over the years. She didn't even want to think about some of it.

"Don't worry about it. I've experienced worse." Cameron said. "I'll be back."

Cameron was ready to leave the room. She looked at Holly to see if she wanted to stay, but Holly followed her out. She'd seen the way Riley and Holly looked at each other at times. She wasn't going to force the issue on anyone.

"We'll leave you three alone." Cameron said.

Holly and Cameron left the room.

Cameron looked at Holly for a moment. She decided to throw it out there and let Holly know she approved of what she was 'thinking'. She thought it was what Holly was thinking.

"I want you to think about 'it'." Cameron said as she left Holly. "Everyone can use a friend. Sometimes it's nice to have help."

Holly looked at Cameron as she departed. She already thought about 'it'. She was still unsure what she wanted. There were other females she thought about as well. There was still John to worry about. Cameron wasn't going to be around forever….

She wanted to leave her options open for now. She didn't want to close any doors by opening others too soon. It didn't seem like the right time for her to make a move on anyone. She still appreciated Cameron's offer. It meant there wouldn't be any problems going forward for her.

Jesse was very concerned because Riley was injured protecting her. She wasn't used to anyone sticking out their neck for her. Cameron did it before. Riley did it now. She felt she needed to address the issue.

"You got hurt saving me, love." Jesse said.

Riley remembered something Cameron told her.

"Sometimes it's nice to have help." Riley said.

Gail got up to leave. It appeared as if the two human females wanted to be alone. She didn't want to be in the way, even if she wanted to stay around a little longer.

Jesse reached out and touched her hand. There were a few things she wanted to say to Gail as well.

Gail paused.

Jesse actually wanted to say more than a few things. Maybe now wasn't the right time or place. There were a lot of things she thought about when they were on the operation. Maybe she should just stick to what mattered about the operation. She wanted to make both Riley and Gail understand what she said was genuine. They didn't know her very well, or who she used to be. No. She didn't want them to know who she used to be. She was ashamed of some of her past actions. She would never do anything like that again to anyone, especially a female. Maybe she should just try to keep it simple.

"Thank you for saving me too, Gail." Jesse said.

Gail was captivated as she looked into Jesse's face. She could feel 'things' happening inside of her. She wasn't really sure how to deal with them.

"We all help each other." Gail said.

Jesse liked to help others. It seemed to give her life purpose. There were a lot of years which went by without any purpose or direction. She couldn't help but feel indebted to those who helped her. She couldn't help but develop feelings for those who risked themselves to protect her.

"I won't forget what either of you two has done for me." Jesse said.

Jesse stood and kissed Gail on the cheek.

Gail nodded and left. She felt very 'confused'. New feelings and 'emotions' flooded her. These were things which were new to her. They were in her programming, but hadn't been activated before. They seemed to be there for her to blend into a situation to allow it to become more intimate. It would allow her to come closer to a target. It wasn't how they played out right now. It was something deeper. It was something organic.

Outside the door Gail halted and turned. She reached for the door handle and then stopped. She wanted to go back in and say something to Jesse. The trouble was, she didn't know what to say. She felt things she didn't know she could feel. They would have been things before she wouldn't have wanted to feel. Since she experienced them, she wanted more. She wasn't sure what to do. Maybe the best course of action was to do nothing.

Gail turned and walked away. Everything seemed very uncertain. She felt something 'different' happen to her.

She was worried she may be about to malfunction.

Gail began to wonder if these were the 'feelings' Cameron needed to deal with all the time. If so, they were very unsettling. She considered running a diagnostic to try to delete them. They caused confusion and uncertainty. Even with such uneasiness, she liked the feelings. She decided to wait and do nothing to see how they evolved, or if they'd go away on their own.

Even though Gail didn't want the feelings, she somehow wanted more….

Jesse sat next to Riley again. They were alone now. She was able to get a good look at Riley's wounds. She was able to get a good look at everything on Riley. She wouldn't mind getting a better look at some things. It would need to be in a different setting. As far as her injuries went, they were all actually minor. It was the impact of the blow which knocked her out.

"You're going to have a few very small scars, but nothing big. They should all go away, or fade, in a short time. You'll recover nicely." Jesse said. "Your vest took all of the shot."

Riley was pretty sure it must have felt similar to what getting hit by a dump truck was like. There was something else she wanted to address. When Jesse brought up scars, it made her think of the large one she noticed on Jesse before. It never seemed like a good time to ask until now. They were sort of on the subject already.

"Jesse, I've seen your scar…." Riley started.

Jesse reached up and absentmindedly touched her right cheek. It was smooth and soft. It almost wasn't.

"The scar was meant for my face. The three men, who 'used' me after it was done to me, prevented it from happening. They didn't want my scarred face to spoil their 'pleasure'." Jesse said with tears in her eyes.

She didn't want to feel grateful to them for it, since they all abused her several times each. She was forced at one point to take all three at once. They needed to hold a gun to her head to make her do it. She did what she needed to do to survive. As long as she was alive, she might be able to escape. She might be able to deliver retribution.

Riley was sickened by Jesse's explanation. She'd been through some similar experiences. She was never branded, or scarred, at least on the outside. There was plenty of mental damage done.

"I'm sorry, Jesse…." Riley said. "I'm glad I was hurt instead of you today."

Jesse didn't like to see anyone get hurt. She was going to try harder to make sure those around her were better protected. She wanted to do something personal for Riley.

"I'm going to help you get better." Jesse said.

There was a slight smile on Jesse's face.

Riley looked at Jesse and swallowed hard. It seemed to be a loaded statement.

"Thanks…." Riley said very sleepily.

Riley was tired. She soon drifted off to sleep.

Jesse ran her hand gently across Riley's cheek. She wanted to leave her with a parting thought without disturbing her.

"Thanks, love." Jesse whispered.

Jesse kissed her softly on the cheek. She took in Riley's disheveled beauty. She really wanted to get to know Riley 'better'….

To be so physically close to Riley made her 'hungry'.

Jesse always 'hungered' for females. She knew what she liked. She liked it even more when it was a two way street.

Earlier:

Cameron left Riley's room and made sure she avoided John and everyone else. She stopped by her room and looked at herself in detail. She was very disgusted at what she observed in the mirror.

She considered going into seclusion for a few days. She didn't like others to see her face damaged, especially John. It was one of the reasons why she liked to operate alone. If she was damaged, she could go off on her own until it was repaired. Maybe Vanna could do something for her. She headed to the lab.

Savannah spotted Cameron, she seemed in a hurry. She didn't look happy. She wanted to find out what was wrong.

"Hi, Cameron." Savannah said as she ran up to her.

Cameron put her hand up to her face to hide her damage.

Savannah reached up and gently pulled Cameron's hand away.

Cameron started to lift it back up.

Savannah held it down.

"You're beautiful however you are." Savannah said.

Cameron didn't think so. She just looked in the mirror a minute ago.

"I'm damaged." Cameron said.

It didn't bother Savannah. She wanted Cameron to think a little deeper. She wanted Cameron to think about what really mattered.

"The damage is just on the outside." Savannah said.

Cameron felt it was worse on the inside.

"I feel it on the inside too." Cameron said.

Savannah didn't want Cameron to feel any needless worry. It was unnecessary. She wanted to remind Cameron how she felt.

"It's just in your head." Savannah said. "I love you however you are."

Cameron wondered if it was true. Savannah was always someone she could count on. She was aware Savannah never gave up on her.

"You do?" Cameron asked.

Savannah smiled. She lifted Cameron's hand to her neck.

"I do." Savannah said. "I'll love you no matter how you are. It doesn't matter if you're damaged. It doesn't change who you really are inside."

Cameron scanned Savannah and could tell she spoke the truth. This sweet girl loved her no matter what. It wasn't just for her appearance, or what sexual favors she could offer. It was 'pure sweet love'. It was 'true love'. It made her feel very good to think about it. Savannah loved her for who and what she was.

"I believe you do." Cameron said.

Savannah pulled Cameron down some. She kissed the damaged spots on her face.

"There, it's all better now." Savannah said. "It's what my mother, my real mother, used to do for me. It always made me feel better."

Cameron couldn't help but reflect how Savannah suffered as much emotional trauma as anyone did. She needed to deal with the loss of 'three' parents. She needed to deal with the loss of everything. Everything was taken from her. Now she lived in seclusion while the world thought she was dead.

Savannah could still see Cameron was sad. She'd listened to her 'ask' Allison, Vanna and Jesse to 'help' her before. It didn't seem like any of them did.

She placed Cameron's hand back on her neck.

"I love you. I'll do anything for you, Cameron." Savannah said. "Am I ready?"

Cameron quickly withdrew her hand. She couldn't make this girl, who loved her more than anything, compromise herself for her. Now she felt guilty. She didn't want to taint or abuse Savannah's love.

It was love to die for.

"Thank you, Savannah." Cameron said. "You made me feel better about everything. You can study or play now. I need to see Vanna."

Cameron wanted what Savannah offered. She wasn't ready to steal her innocence, or future, from her. Savannah was the best of the lot.

Cameron arrived in the lab.

"I guess you know why I'm here." Cameron said.

Vanna looked over Cameron. She did know.

"Nothing is damaged except your sheath." Vanna said. "You're in good shape overall."

Cameron saw it differently.

"You know it bothers me when the damage is on my face." Cameron said. "John won't like me damaged, or ugly. I don't want to look ugly. I must always look Tight."

Vanna thought Cameron placed too much emphasis on appearance. She wanted to give Cameron a reminder. She wanted to give Cameron a personal reminder while she was at it.

"Cameron, John, or I, will never love you less based on how you look. Even if you're in a 'server', I'll still love you." Vanna said. "It's how I first loved you."

Cameron wondered how anyone could love a 'pile of junk'.

"Really?" Cameron asked.

Vanna didn't think it was complicated. It was simple and straightforward.

"Really. You're loved by everyone around here like no other. Gail and Holly are fond of you, even though they won't admit it. They will soon enough." Vanna said. "No one can be around you for very long without falling in love with you."

It was something Vanna was able to see first hand. Anyone who was around Cameron for very long, 'fell in love' with her. There was simply no way not to. Everything about her was so special. She was clearly different from any of the other Terminators, or any of the humans. She was unique. Cameron was one of a kind.

Cameron touched Vanna's neck. It never hurt to push her agenda. Well, Future John's agenda anyway.

"Vanna, maybe John shouldn't see me for a few days…." Cameron said.

Vanna was aware Cameron started to scan her but said nothing.

Cameron continued to scan her.

Vanna knew right away where the conversation was headed. It seemed to be where they all ended up at, at some point. Cameron wanted them all to have a child with John. They could either keep it, or 'give' it to Cameron. There was an emotional price all the girls would need to pay to do as Cameron wanted. It wasn't a price they wanted to pay while she was still 'there'. It wasn't a price they wanted to pay because she 'wasn't there' either.

"Cameron, I can't. I can't do it to you. I won't." Vanna said. "I know how it would hurt you."

Vanna wanted to be with John, but she didn't want to hurt Cameron to do it.

Cameron couldn't understand why no one wanted to 'help her'. It was what she wanted. Judgment Day was coming and it would change everything. It would make some things impossible for some of the humans. The ability to have children was very limited in the future. It seemed to be the case in every future.

"Please." Cameron asked. "It's not 'to me', it's 'FOR ME'. It needs to 'happen' before Judgment Day."

Vanna could feel Cameron's pain. She didn't want to make it worse by doing what Cameron wanted, especially the way she wanted it done.

"Cameron…." Vanna started.

Cameron was very frustrated. Nobody listened to her. The words slipped out of her mouth.

"I don't know how to make you understand, any of you, it's what I WANT. I'm – unable…." Cameron said and then started to cry.

Vanna held her tight.

Cameron stepped away from Vanna. She wiped away the tears from her cheeks. She looked Vanna directly in her eyes.

"Please don't make me 'ask' Riley." Cameron sobbed. "PLEASE."

Vanna could only imagine the torment and pain Cameron must feel.

"Oh, Cameron…." Vanna said and started to cry too.

Vanna could feel her pain. She thought the torment in Cameron's mind must be awful for her. She really wished River was there right now for Cameron.

She didn't know anyone who could stop Cameron's agony. It seemed all so self created and perpetuated.

It seemed Cameron's worst enemy wasn't Skynet. It was herself.

Cameron went to check on Riley again. Jesse was asleep in a chair. She was slumped over against Riley, still holding her hand. It was a touching scene. She left quietly. There were tears in her eyes. It felt like a knife stabbed her heart, as a dagger stabbed her mind. There was a lot of pain. Her left hand glitched wildly.

She was conflicted on what to do next. A million thoughts flooded her mind. She needed help. She wanted someone to help her.

"River - HELP me!" It was the last thing Cameron said as she collapsed.

Closing monologue by Cameron:

Chains Of The Mind

My mind is held in chains
I can't break free
I'm no longer alone
For you suffer like me

No one can understand
Nor would they care
They only see themselves
Unable to dare to share

What is love I ask
What is it to you
Is it only physical
Am only I askew

How can I soon escape
Where is this chain's key
Is there no form of salvation
I will never live to see

I can't retreat forward
I can't advance back
Please, please, please I ask
Give me a fatal heart attack

Please give me death with honor
Take my worthless life from me
Please set my chained mind free
Is this too much to ask of thee

Nobody