Chapter 173

Listen

Savannah stayed in the lab with Cameron for a while. She wanted to spend some time alone with her. It didn't look like the others were going to leave.

"Come on, Cammy, let's go to my room." Savannah said.

Allison and Vanna looked at each other. They weren't as worried as they would have been earlier.

Cameron wanted to thank everyone for helping her. She went over to Holly and gave her a hug.

"Thank you for what you did." Cameron said. "I apologize if I was disrespectful or rude to you. It wasn't my intent. You've always been there to help me."

Holly was very pleased with the outcome of everything. She was even more pleased when Cameron gave her a kiss on the cheek. She hoped she would never need to face some of the trials Cameron did going forward.

"I'm always here when you need me." Holly said.

Holly smiled at everyone and left the lab.

Cameron walked over and faced Vanna and Allison.

"I really don't know what to say." Cameron said. "I know you've both always been there for me. It didn't matter what it was. It didn't matter what the outcome would be."

Vanna and Allison understood what Cameron said for what it meant. It's meant they went off on what was most likely a one way trip with her before and they would do it again.

Cameron gave both of them a hug, one at a time. She looked into their eyes for a long moment before she gave them a kiss on the cheek. She whispered the same thing into each of their ears.

"I'll make everything up to you one day." Cameron whispered. "I swear it."

Cameron gave Allison's hand an extra squeeze. She understood Allison took a chance to come to her as 'River'.

"When I malfunction the next time, I'm sure there will be a next time, bring a Taser with you." Cameron said. "Don't hesitate to bring me down if I need to be brought down."

Savannah watched and listened to Cameron say and do everything.

"Come on, Cammy, let's go." Savannah said.

Cameron and Savannah left the lab.

Allison and Vanna each touch their cheek where Cameron kissed them.

"I don't think Cameron needed anything more than Savannah earlier." Allison said. "I think she should have gone with John, Bob, and Holly."

Vanna agreed with her. She thought it was still a risk to Savannah.

"There was no way to know what would happen." Vanna said.

Allison thought about it.

"I know you're right, but I'm not so sure." Allison said. "Savannah is always able to 'reach' Cameron. They have a very strong bond."

Vanna understood the depth of the bond. It wasn't based on anything sexual either. It was based on two individuals interacting with each other, who seemed to need each other.

"Maybe next time it's something we should try." Vanna said.

The two long time lovers faced each other. They shared a tight hug, along with a tender deep kiss. They decided to go to their room for a while. They wanted the comfort of each other. It was what both of them desired the most.

Later on:

John Henry tried to piece together what occurred with Cameron for the days she was 'missing'. He prepared a report for John. Cameron was there as well. She wanted to know what happened.

He explained to John and Cameron what he was able to uncover.

"They found the car you used in Colorado." John Henry said.

Cameron wondered why she was there in the first place. Why was she in another state, several states away from their location?

"Have you found out what was there?" Cameron asked.

John Henry wasn't done checking everything yet.

"No." John Henry said.

John wondered how Cameron slipped off the grid. She totally 'vanished' for several days.

"Why couldn't we track her?" John asked.

Cameron frowned. Her actions bothered her. No doubt it involved some of her Terminator abilities. Evasion was in her programming.

"I must have done things to prevent it." Cameron said.

John Henry nodded.

"You did. You disabled the tracking devices, crushed your phone, and splashed mud on the bumper and license plates." John Henry said. "You covered your face with a veil as well. Nothing could track you."

John just shook his head. He didn't understand things at times.

Cameron didn't like John's reaction. She focused on John Henry. She concentrated on where the vehicle was found.

"So is it where I got on the train?" Cameron asked. "Did I get on in Colorado?"

Cameron wondered why she was in Colorado. Colorado was next to New Mexico, Kansas, and Nebraska. Was she looking for the cave, or bunker, which held the other versions of herself from the future? Perhaps it held her chassis from another timeline. She may have deactivated and 'replaced it', to live her life over again as she went back in time. She felt she lived her life over again with John from the start. She was sure she'd done it multiple times.

John Henry found the location to be rather obscure.

"Evidently, you got on at a small rural stop." John Henry said. "It's where the car was recovered."

So far Cameron didn't know anything new or helpful. There was something which bothered her immensely. It was the destruction of perfectly good machinery. It seemed there should have been some other type of choice.

"When did I wreck the locomotive, the 'Cab Forward'?" Cameron asked. "I'm ashamed I did so."

It wasn't all bad news as far as the locomotive was concerned.

"It was two days later." John Henry said. "It was actually a newly constructed replica. The original AC-12 is still in the Sacramento Rail Museum. It's on display and undamaged."

The revelation made Cameron feel a little better. She thought about the millions of dollars she brought back from Central America on the jet after her 'day trip' with the girls, before they returned to their current point in the timeline. She believed it could be used to pay for the construction of another replica to make up for the one she destroyed. There was another problem. It seemed like there was still a missing day.

"It's a relief." Cameron said. "Where else did I get off?"

John Henry noted the time delay as well. He hadn't been able to uncover anything yet.

"We don't know." John Henry said.

Cameron tried to remember something additional. There was only one thing which 'clicked'. It was a play on words. It involved two cities in Nevada.

"I remember I heard someone say, 'Reno is so close to Hell, you can see Sparks'." Cameron said.

John Henry referenced the statement. He smiled to himself. Sparks Nevada was next to Reno Nevada. Reno was a gambling town often referred to as 'The biggest little city in the world'. The train Cameron was on would have passed through both of those locations.

"Maybe you got off there." John Henry said. "There were no 'casino incidents' reported. I'm still going through the surveillance footage."

John didn't want to dwell on the unknown. He knew Cameron being where she was at saved a group of people from death and injury. If she wouldn't have been where she was, and acted as she did, people would have died. He didn't know if it was coincidence or fate.

"You saved a lot of lives by stopping the runaway train." John said. "It's something positive."

Cameron was still unsure how fate put her there, but it did. She wondered if it was an attempt to rectify a deadly situation which may have happened in another one of her 'lives'. There was simply no way to know.

"How many people did I help?" Cameron asked.

The exact total was unknown as the conductor hadn't finished his ticket collection after the last stop. A number of skiers got on there.

"It was over one hundred and twenty which were reported." John Henry said.

Cameron really wondered if it was fate, or mere chance, she was where she needed to be at the right moment. There was still one other thing which bothered her.

"What about the casino I was in by Lake Tahoe?" Cameron asked. "I hurt three people. I was going to terminate them if they came at me again. I WANTED to terminate them. I do remember what I planned to do next. I may not have known I was a Terminator at the time. I did know I could terminate them. I knew I could kill them."

Cameron seemed to remember something similar, but there were no files related to it.

"It seems the casino reported the entire incident as 'vandalism'." John Henry said. "Evidently they didn't want to have any 'events' they couldn't explain. I erased all the security footage. It was only the testimony of the three security officials they could go on. No one believed the story they told. It seemed quite impossible a teenage girl could have superhuman abilities and strength."

John thought another reason why the casino wouldn't actually report what occurred was because the casino could keep the money Cameron 'won'. It may have gone back into the casino bank or into the manager's pocket.

Cameron was still disturbed by her actions. She felt justified to do what she did to protect herself. She was just glad there were no needless terminations.

"There was no footage of me?" Cameron asked. "I mean of some 'crazy' woman who became violent?"

John Henry smiled. He thought he'd handled it quite proficiently.

"I've eradicated all traces of everything which occurred there." John Henry said. "I've flooded all of them with misinformation."

The update seemed to make Cameron feel more disgusted with herself. It didn't seem as if she was accountable for anything she did. Somehow she was always able to skate through it.

"So it is like it never happened, just like everything I do around here. I get people killed, and it's just like it never happened. I try to manipulate people for my own ends. I never consider the means I use to achieve the ends. I never think of who I hurt or how. I try to win no matter what the cost is or the method used." Cameron said, totally disgusted with herself.

John tried to stay out of the conversation as much as possible. He figured his contributions would only serve to upset Cameron further. It turned out John Henry said what he'd wanted to say.

"In spite of all those things, you are the most respected, the most loved, and the most desired individual here." John Henry said. "While the means may be questionable, the results usually aren't."

His statement did nothing to quell her fears. It still left her with an empty and hollow feeling.

"Why? I should be the most hated and despised individual." Cameron said. "People should see me the same way they see Mrs. Weaver. We're no different. We're both ruthless Terminators, even if our construction is different."

John Henry didn't see it the same way. He dealt with both Mrs. Weaver and Cameron.

"Apparently not…." John Henry said.

Cameron couldn't understand why.

"Then what's different?" Cameron asked.

It seemed quite simple to John Henry.

"You are YOU, and she is NOT." John Henry said.

Cameron's head tilted slightly as she tried to figure out what his statement actually meant.

Later on:

Gail was still troubled by her earlier conversation with Jesse. Everything Jesse told her was true. She knew all of it, even if she didn't like it. Both Jesse and Duplicate Jesse told her the same things.

Maybe she could exert some influence or control over the situation. She understood it was going to happen at some point no matter what she did or didn't do.

Gail approached John. She intercepted him in a remote part of the base.

John was a little concerned she popped up in that spot. There were no surveillance cameras around there. He was sure it wasn't a chance encounter.

Gail faced John and smiled at him.

John thought she looked beautiful when she smiled. She seldom did.

Gail decided to get directly to the point. It was why she was there.

"I'm aware Cameron would like you to father a child, or children, with the three girls, including Jesse." Gail said.

John wondered if this location was to keep Cameron from finding out the nature of the conversation. He didn't know where it was going. Gail actually seemed 'happy'. He believed he should have some say in the matter.

"It's Cameron's plan." John said. "It's not my plan."

Gail gently touched John's arm.

"I want it too for Jesse and for myself." Gail said. "I want it for the two of us."

It was a surprise to John. There were a few more on the way as well.

"Really?" John asked.

Maybe Cameron hadn't lied to him about what other people wanted. There appeared to be some truth to what she told him. All three of the girls were previously in his bed naked before. They all said they were there by choice.

There was a look of great concern on Gail's face. She looked worried.

"Yes. It would help keep Jesse safe to be a mother. It would keep her here with Sarah and your sister, Jan." Gail said. "It would keep her out of combat."

John only saw this level of concern from a Terminator for a human, with Cameron for him previously. He understood it was real and sincere. The very nature of where they currently were was further proof of it. It was done where no one else could hear or know what they discussed.

"Do you really love her as your life partner?" John asked.

Gail acted like the male Terminators most of the time. Right now she acted like Cameron did sometimes. There was a level of great seriousness to her request.

"I do, John." Gail said. "Please do this for me too. I can't watch her 'die' again. Cameron and I want conception done the traditional way. It can either be her alone, or with me as the three of us together, or four of us with Cameron. You may 'have' me too if you desire. I've never been with a male. I would welcome the 'experience' and would like to provide you with the honor. Cameron can be there instead of me with you and Jesse, or all four of us can share together. Whatever you feel comfortable with Jesse and I will do. I want you to understand it's what we want."

John could hardly believe everything he just heard. It was a lot to take in and process. Now he understood Gail's reasoning to 'protect' Jesse as a mother. He would like to be with Jesse, and he would like to be the first one to touch someone, even if they were a machine. Gail was created as a Restorator so she was never under the control of Skynet. It meant she really should be 'untouched'. Future Riley was most likely abused previously, multiple times. Cameron believed Future John 'took' her in Future Allison's place, even though there were no files related to it. Future John erased most of Cameron's past.

"Did you run all of this by Cameron?" John asked.

John wanted to get everything straight.

Gail smiled.

"Yes, I asked for her permission and she granted it. She was very supportive of the idea." Gail said. "Now I'm asking for your permission, cooperation, and assistance. It seems very straight forward."

Having dealt with Cameron on a personal level, he knew humans and machines interpreted things or events differently at times. Then again, so did people. Machines were generally much more direct, and said what they actually wanted. They didn't 'beat around the bush' as much as humans did.

"It seems that way to…." John started as he searched for the words, so he didn't seem offensive or derogatory. "…to non humans, but we all have feelings too about things and each other. It's a really big step in the lives of everyone involved."

John knew the Terminators saw things from their perspective. It would make Jesse and him 'parents'. They would have a child together. He would be a father and he would have new responsibilities. It sounded as if Gail wanted to assume them from him. He may be just a sperm donor in reality. Still, he would have been with Jesse. If he was, it was going to be more than sex. There was going to be a certain amount of 'love' involved. It would probably happen if he was with Gail too. He couldn't help but stare at her giant breasts as they spoke. They somehow seemed even more prominent than usual. It may have been intentional to get his attention. It worked if it was.

"Cameron has made clear the struggles of the future, of a future, of different futures. I do understand." John said. "Cameron is my wife and I love her. I could NEVER watch anyone else touch her. It would literally kill me. I can understand now how my choosing the other Riley, Future Riley, over her must have hurt her. I know I'm supposed to be a great leader, but I don't feel like one. I feel I can't even make my wife, the woman I love, happy. I KNOW what everyone wants me to do. I'm not ready yet. I would be lying if I said the thought of everything everybody wants wasn't enticing or exciting. No matter what she says or wants, I believe I would hurt Cameron if I did any of those things. I know she will never get over my betrayal and rejection of her for Future Riley. I did it, and I rubbed it in her face. I'll forever pay for my transgression and stupidity. Cameron will never get past it, ever. I don't think she would get past other females in my bed, no matter what she says."

Gail didn't see why any of it was a problem. Cameron wanted it, Jesse wanted it, and she wanted it. Her files indicated John should want it too. He could have vast pleasure with Jesse's experience, and the satisfaction of taking her innocence. He would forever be her 'first'.

"Please think about it." Gail said. "Jesse is very precious to me. You'll be our future leader. It would be an honor to have you as the father of her children, OUR children. The future is more than about you and Cameron. Don't you understand Cameron KNOWS this? Cameron is willing to 'sacrifice' for the future. You MUST protect our females, ALL of them. As you protect our future."

Gail paused and looked at John with total sincerity.

John tensed up slightly.

"Don't tell me…." John pleaded.

He knew what was coming next.

"Everyone sacrifices for John Connor." Gail said.

John hung his head for a second.

"I said, don't say it." John said.

Gail walked up to him and held both of his shoulders as she looked directly into his eyes.

"YOU must accept your destiny. You MUST. Please, you have a heart, feel the pain and hurt for those of us who don't. Please talk with Cameron. Can't you see how you're 'terminating' her, killing her, by not doing as she ASKS? IF you truly love her, you will LISTEN to HER. Hearing isn't listening." Gail said with tears in her eyes. "I'm sorry, I have to go. Please, John, stop 'killing' Cameron. You will be the termination of her. Listen to her. She believes she's done ALL of this before."

John only saw Gail cry once before. It was when she was told Jesse, Duplicate Jesse, was 'gone'. She chose self termination after it. They, no, HE deactivated her against her wishes.

He was reminded Savannah wouldn't allow Gail's termination. She told him only to deactivate her. She insisted Cameron would fix Gail when she returned. It was exactly what happened. He didn't believe any of it at the time. So far Savannah was always correct when it came to Cameron and her extracurricular activities.

He could hear Gail sobbing down the hall as she walked away. It bothered him to hear it.

John wondered IF Cameron really did live her life more than once. What did she KNOW no one else did? Why was this obsession so important to her? It was as if someone's life depended on it….

Closing monologue by Cameron:

Listen To Me

I do not speak
To hear the melodious tones
Of my own voice
Or throw verbal stones

If I'm saying something
It's important to me
What I'm saying
Should need no apology

Dissemination can transpire in many ways
Communication need not be spoken
Sentiments, passions, and affections
Should be cherished and not broken

Everything we do matters
Everyone, every person matters
When one chooses not to hear or listen
Everything cracks and soon shatters

My voice is my own
I know you can hear me
But do you ever really
Listen to me

Nobody