Chapter 179

Are You Kidding

Cameron was appalled at the way she treated John earlier, and was forceful with him. She didn't want to damage him. She wanted to be with him. She wanted to share with him. Now like everything else, it seemed like she even messed it up too. It was the story of her life. It was all too much for her. It was too late now. What was done was done.

She broke down and started to cry. She confessed to John what she was going to do. It was what she already did. She even told him of the specific DNA she obtained and why. She skipped the replacement chip part for now.

John already seemed to have a pretty good idea of what she planned. No, not planned, what she already started.

He couldn't believe what Cameron just told him. She just started the procedure to change her appearance and eliminate part of her sheath's 'function'. He was sure it was his fault. Maybe he should have spent more time 'working' on Cameron when they were together. He slipped into a bad habit of taking care of his business, and not taking care of hers. He could see how someone would start to feel 'used' at some point. She never complained about it. He always figured she could replay a file or something. He could see how selfish he was.

His main concern right now was how to fix it. He didn't even know if it was fixable or not.

"Is it reversible?" John asked. "Why would you do this to yourself?"

Cameron didn't feel she did anything to 'herself'. She felt she did the next owner of her chassis a favor, by eliminating an unnecessary function of a Terminator. She felt John should respect her decisions.

"No." Cameron said. "The metamorphosis will be final and irreversible. It was my choice, it's my chassis. I'm entitled to make my own decisions. It's what I want."

Cameron was glad she told him. She knew there were other ways he could use her chassis, but she didn't care. Once she put the reprogrammed chip in it, he could do as he pleased. It would no longer be 'her'. She would be 'free'. The torment and pain would be over, erased, and crushed. Everything would be as it should have been years ago. She hadn't gone over that part yet. She believed John would figure it out soon enough.

John thought of a quick 'fix' for Cameron. It was something he found out she used before to help repair extensive sheath damage.

"Allison is here. You can re-alter whatever you did." John said. "You can use her DNA. It should restore you back to how you are now."

Cameron acted to specifically prevent anyone from doing it. She took a few precautions in the direction John indicated, to prevent anyone from altering her plans. She figured it was something they would try and do once she was gone anyway. It seemed they all possessed the same desire to 'recreate her', regardless of the circumstances. She didn't think there was anything worth recreating.

"No, those files in my system, and this chassis files, are now encrypted with the same code as the TDE. They're locked. The code is unbreakable. What's done is final." Cameron said. "There are others you may use for your 'pleasure'. I won't interfere. I've provided you with everything you 'need' for the next quarter of a century. You WILL accept your fate and protect the future. You must fulfill your destiny and accept the 'Natural Order'."

John wasn't quite able to fathom everything. Was it for real or only her plan? He wasn't convinced she was able to get everything done. Maybe the things she told him now were just her plans.

"Are you sure you actually did this?" John asked.

Cameron returned from the genetics lab after she did the procedure herself, she was sure. In fact, she was happy now and wished she'd done it a few years ago. It was like a burden was lifted from her. John would soon be free to embrace his destiny. The cancer of her infesting his life would be gone.

"I guess we'll all know in a short while. I'll look different and my body will be 'different'." Cameron said. "I'm a Terminator, nothing more."

John saw most of the blame for it coming back to him on about five different levels. He was sure he would draw the wrath of the others soon enough. He still felt the same about Cameron as he always did.

"Cameron, I don't understand any of this." John said. "I know my actions in both the future, and the past, have made you 'hate' yourself. It was never my intention. You're punishing yourself, as well as me. You keep doing these things. I know you love me and I love you, so it makes no sense to me."

Cameron saw it all differently. She felt she'd been looked down on and regulated to 'second place' from almost the start. The only reason John was with her was because Future Riley was dead. She really owed Future Jesse some thanks for doing it. She was very aware how happy John and Future Riley were together.

John was never rude or mean to Future Riley. He did everything to cater to her. He even 'ran off' with her to Mexico and booked the Honeymoon Suite. It was Future Riley who he did it for. It was clear to her she never was his first choice. Since Future John sent her away as well, it was obvious she wasn't his first choice either.

"I won't be a burden to you much longer." Cameron said. "I'm sorry I'm 'Not Good Enough' for either of you, both of YOU."

John knew she referred to Future John and himself.

"What does that mean?" John asked. "Now what?"

John got ready for the next nightmare….

Derek and Kyle decided to do some follow up on one of the locations they previously brought down. They were accompanied by Jim and Mel.

Mel was the recently acquired Terminator from the last Skynet facility they took down. His sheath was already in the process of Resequencing. He still looked similar to his previous appearance, but different enough to be someone else.

Jim decided to let Mel lead. It was more of a shakedown exercise than anything.

Derek and Kyle brought up the rear. They made sure there was no one behind them. They also carried Tasers to make sure there weren't any problems in front of them either.

So far the operation went off without any problems. Mel used the same programming as the other reprogrammed Terminators. There didn't appear to be any problems at all.

Mel made his way through the trees. He paused.

"There's something ahead." Mel said quietly.

Derek and Kyle looked at each other. There shouldn't be anything.

Jim moved forward to take a look. He spotted two men near a Skynet location they took down several months ago. He was unsure what they were up to.

Derek and Kyle begin to check the area around them more carefully. They hadn't gone in on a trail, but through the trees instead.

It was time they began to look for any additional surveillance or booby traps. They didn't want to find either one of them the hard way.

John headed to the Command Center. He wanted some concrete answers before he moved forward. He asked John Henry to pull up whatever surveillance footage he could about anything Cameron was involved in for the last two days.

John Henry actually started work on it from the moment Cameron left the base with Bob and Holly on her tail. There was some footage already cued up. What he'd reviewed so far wasn't going to please John. It didn't please him.

"I have Cameron on security footage in the hospital." John Henry said. "She has entered multiple locations and obtained several items."

John Henry zoomed in. Cameron carried a vial of blood and a hypodermic needle and entered the genetic research lab dressed in scrubs.

"Based on what you've told me, she could have broken down the genetic code of the blood and entered it into her system in place of the DNA codes which were already there. If they were transferred to her chassis processor, her appearance will alter to the new coding over time." John Henry said. "It will actually happen within a short period of time. If it's the same race and similar body type it will happen quickly. I looked up the specific DNA she said she used. It will alter the 'function' of her body as well. You better take a look at this."

John Henry called up information related to the particular syndrome. John started to read it. There were several diagrams of what was 'normal' and what affliction the syndrome exhibited in females. He quickly understood the 'reduced functions' Cameron's chassis would physically be able to perform. He really felt it all came back to him. She already told him it was irreversible. He needed to take some action to stop the insanity.

"This is like a nightmare which just keeps getting worse." John said. "I need to pull her chip."

John Henry understood the finality of such an act. He was sure it was already a major possibility Cameron considered. It may even be the choice of termination she chose, instead of self termination. It would be termination by her husband, John Connor.

"Then you will be the one who terminates her for all practical purposes, rather than 'herself'." John Henry said. "The end result is the same. Cameron 'wins' either way."

John didn't see it as winning.

"You mean she loses either way." John said.

John Henry knew what her final goal was.

"It's 'winning' to her in this case." John Henry reminded him.

John remembered what Cameron told him once.

"Not all victories are sweet." Cameron said.

He reflected on those words combined with Cameron's actions.

Jim observed the two men. There were no weapons visible. They went down to the remains of the Skynet building they destroyed previously. He wasn't sure if they were copper thieves, two guys looking for a place to party, or Grays.

He decided to move the team closer. He hoped to get into hearing range of them. He needed to find out what they were up to and if there were any more of them. They didn't want to get trapped between two groups of Grays or any hostile Terminators.

Mel could tell they were at a disadvantage.

"The three of you should remain here." Mel said. "I can move in for a closer look."

Jim was a little surprised at Mel's suggestion. He felt it was his responsibility to do so.

"I want you to remain here with Derek and Kyle." Jim said. "I'm going to go down myself first."

Mel nodded.

"Affirmative…." Mel said.

Jim made his way down towards the remains of the structure and the two unknown men.

Derek was a little leery of their surroundings.

"I want to take a look around us." Derek said.

Kyle looked around as well.

"I feel it too, bro." Kyle said.

Mel tilted his head slightly. He didn't notice anything different from when they arrived, other than the two men.

John decided to confront Cameron in one last effort to stop what she was doing. He knew it wouldn't stop with the Resequencing. John Henry reminded him about the Thermite grenade incident and what she was willing to do then if he didn't comply with her instructions.

He wanted to start out slow. His anger, and because he was upset, got the best of him. His peaceful request came out as a demand.

"I want the chip." John said.

Cameron faced him.

"No." Cameron said.

It only made John angrier. He was the 'General' she needed to comply with his 'orders'.

"I want the chip." John said. "You will give it to me right now."

John held out his hand.

Cameron wasn't about to back down now. It was especially true since she already started the process to alter her sheath. She wouldn't want a sheath with limited functions for herself.

"NO!" Cameron said.

John was desperate at this point.

"Cameron!" John said. "You need to listen to me."

Cameron didn't see what for. John never listened to her.

"No. What's done is done. I must complete the final task." Cameron said.

John felt the urge to strike her. He wanted to make her listen. He realized it was no different than when she demanded sex from him forcefully. Maybe he should have taken her up on the offer. From what he read. The act would soon be impossible.

"I won't allow this." John said.

Cameron looked at John and shook her head with disgust. It was clear he didn't get it.

"You're too late." Cameron said.

She was tired of the useless 'game'. She'd already delivered the 'knock out' serve.

Cameron stormed out.

Bob and Three followed her.

Cameron stopped and turned. She was angry now John tried to force her to not do something. He didn't own her. Now he sent 'enforcers' after her. What right did he have to do that? She took her anger out on her 'enforcers'.

"You can't stop me." Cameron said.

Three didn't see it as 'stopping her'. He wanted to help her find a different path which didn't involve self destruction. He was very disturbed by the internal torment Cameron was under.

"Maybe not, but we are sure going to try." Three said. "We want to help you."

It was personal to Bob. It wasn't an assignment.

"Cameron, you don't need to do this to yourself." Bob said. "You're hurting all of us. We care about you. You're hurting John. Most of all you're hurting yourself."

Cameron didn't see it as a big deal. Why wasn't such a traumatic event for all of them? Her same chassis would be able to perform any of the duties required by the Resistance to defeat Skynet. It would just look different. The way an individual looked shouldn't matter in the defeat of the enemy. It was the defeat of the enemy which mattered.

"This chassis will still serve beside you as your equal as a Terminator." Cameron said. "It will work for the defeat of Skynet and the protection of our group. It will need no other function other than that."

Bob knew John and Cameron possessed 'feelings' for each other. They must count for something. He remembered the cake Jim and him made for their wedding day.

"What about your husband?" Bob asked. "It must mean something. I was there when you were married. We could all see the bond and feelings."

Cameron didn't need a history lesson. It was all water under the bridge. Life moved forward not backwards. She didn't have all of the same hang-ups the rest of them appeared to have. There was no reason she couldn't give them a few choices to make on their own.

"That was then, this is now." Cameron said. "Some things change. I've provided him with 'replacements'. I've made available REAL women for him, not a machine masquerading as one. I'm a machine, Bob, just like you. Would you like to place your chip in this chassis and be John's wife? I'll trade with you right now."

Bob didn't know how to answer her offer. It was more than swapping chips or chassis. It was the underlying issue which was the problem.

Three saw it the same way Bob did and they didn't even discuss it. There was a 'problem' which needed to be fixed. Something was wrong inside her.

"Cameron, you need to be 'fixed'. Let John fix you." Three said.

Cameron felt offended. Why would they even think that? She was fine.

"Fix me?" Cameron asked. "Why would he 'fix' me? I'm not broken…."

Bob and Three looked at each other. They both knew Cameron was 'defective'. It seemed to be getting worse, not better as time passed.

Cameron glared at them as her eyes glowed red and left in a huff. Who did anyone think they were to tell her what to do and what her duties were? No really, what gave anyone that right over her?

She was the one who knew what was best for her. How could anyone know more than her, about her, than her? They were all free to choose their own path forward. She already made her choice and was content with it. She thought the others should honor her personal decisions and choices.

Jim moved away from the others. He quickly made his way down to the remains of the building.

Derek moved away from Kyle and Mel. He thought the area around them seemed rather quiet. Quiet wasn't always a good sign.

Jim was close enough to hear the two men.

"We don't even know what we're looking for." The first man said.

"He told us it might be something valuable." The second man said. "He said we would know it when we found it."

"I still think it's a pretty poor description to go by." The first man said.

"Either way it doesn't matter." The second man said. "We each get a hundred bucks for checking."

Jim was able to deduce the two men were probably sent by a Skynet operative to see if there were any booby traps to be tripped. He quickly contacted John Henry and informed him of their current situation.

John Henry did a check of the surrounding area to see if there were any signals being transmitted from their current location. There weren't. They weren't under any remote surveillance. It didn't mean they weren't under any direct surveillance.

Jim used his com to notify the others as to what he found out so far about the two men as well as John Henry's findings.

Derek was several hundred yards away from the observation position where he left Kyle and Mel. He wasn't too surprised at what Jim found out. He believed the two men looked more homeless, than they did like Grays. He could see they were being used as pawns in case anything went wrong.

There was a 'snap' sound off to his left side. He quickly moved behind the closest tree and peered around it. He spotted a deer. It always made him think about the one he killed before. It upset Kyle greatly. It always bothered him later on whenever he encountered one, or needed to kill one. It only made him remember how much he hated Skynet and everything it represented.

Derek didn't think the deer would still be around if there were any Terminators, or Grays, moving through the area. He made his way back to where Kyle and Mel were. Jim was already there waiting for him. They thought it was in their best interest to see what the two men turned up. If it was anything of value, they could take it from them. If it wasn't, they would let them leave.

Their new goal would be to see where the two men went back to, so they could collect the rest of their money. They wanted to find out who sent them.

John sat sobbing on his bed.

A figure sat beside him and took his hand.

They sat side by side for a while. They'd done it before….

They both lay back on the bed and stared at the ceiling. Their feet hung off the side of the bed. It was a moment of closeness. It wasn't sexual. It was an act of understanding.

"John, I heard everything. I'm aware of the specific DNA Cameron chose. I've talked to Allison and she will give me a DNA sample. I'll Resequence my DNA and you may replace my chip with Cameron's chip. I'll take the chassis Cameron has 'altered' as my own. Everything will be the 'same' for you in a short time."

John was surprised at the level of compassion and sacrifice for Cameron from the other Terminators. It appeared they were all willing to go much further than any of them needed to, to assist and help Cameron.

"You would do it for Cameron?" John asked.

Holly turned her head and looked over at John, he looked back at her.

"No, I would do it for you." Holly said.

John was touched. Few would make such a commitment. He wanted to point out the life altering changes Holly would need to face.

"You will look different and be unable to do 'some things' in the future." John said.

Holly knew sacrifice was the true test of love. She didn't tell John it. She made her answer more simplistic and colder.

"I've never done them before. I'll miss nothing. I'm a Terminator, nothing more." Holly said. "You'll have the honor of 'breaking in' this chassis when it becomes 'Cameron's chassis'. It's my gift to you. It isn't given lightly."

John was deeply moved. He looked at Holly's sheath. It was beautiful. He felt the impulse to 'break it in' right now. He wanted to be her 'first'. He knew she offered him more than herself. She offered him the chance to get Cameron back as his wife. She offered both Cameron and him a future to be together. His tears returned.

"Why would you do this for me?" John asked. "I can't allow you to do this to yourself."

Holly managed a faint smile and squeezed his hand gently.

"Everyone sacrifices for John Connor." Holly said.

'American Woman' by 'The Guess Who', blasted in John's mind.

Closing monologue by Cameron:

Affliction

What is the affliction
Is it the Lonely Hearts Club
Or even worse still yet
The Cracked Minds Club

Sometimes we dodge a blow
Sometimes we do not
Those seem to be
The ones that hurt a lot

Loves accelerator is to the floor
Feel the emotional carburetors drink
With everything moving fast
There is little time to think

What does tomorrow bring
When only today happens now
The past becomes clouded
Blindly onward without thought we plow

Where does IT go
Where does IT end
It all finishes the same
Tolerate, submit, capitulate, bend

Nobody