Chapter 200

Do You Understand

Cameron went over all the details in getting the new reprogrammed unit ready for operation. She hoped there weren't going to be any problems. She was rubbed the wrong way already with 'new Isabel'. She wondered if things would get worse or better.

It was a reminder to her things didn't work like they should all of the time.

Cameron looked at Isabel.

"Isabel, you will go with Allison and me." Cameron said.

There was a blank look on Isabel's face.

"Affirmative…." Isabel said.

Cameron didn't like the response. She'd already told her once to use more colloquial language.

"Consult your infiltration programming for more 'natural' language." Cameron said. "You sound like a robot. It's not a compliment either."

The blank look remained on Isabel's face.

"Affirmative…." Isabel said.

Cameron rolled her eyes and went on with her briefing. She wasn't sure if Isabel was 'slow' or trying to be a problem.

When she was done with Isabel, Allison spoke with her.

"Can Holly come too?" Allison asked. "I don't want to create any problems or leave anyone else short."

Allison hoped she wasn't being too forward.

Cameron needed to wonder about the specific question.

"Holly is on a protection Detail today." Cameron said. "You know I like to have one 'female' on Young Allison's detail when I can. Holly will be in after we get back."

Allison thought all the fuss over her younger self was unnecessary. She didn't fully understand Cameron indirectly made Young Allison and her both targets of Skynet.

"I get it." Allison said. "I know you've been taking a lot of shifts yourself on 'me' as Young Allison. I appreciate it."

Cameron saw a higher calling.

"YOU are John's destiny." Cameron said.

Allison looked defeated at the statement. She didn't want to discuss it further. Young Allison was a long way off from being at John's side and hopefully a lot longer off from being in his bed. She knew things happened fast and early in the future. It wasn't the future, not yet anyway.

The three females geared up and left.

Cameron drove, Allison sat next to her. Isabel was in the back of the SUV. She continuously scanned from side to side and in back of them.

Allison was glad to be out. She wondered if maybe they should have brought Vanna along. They were already gone now.

Cameron noticed Isabel's unnatural behavior and was about to say something. It was good Isabel was vigilant, but she needed to blend in and not stand out. Right now she stood out.

Allison wanted to discuss something. She looked at Cameron, back to Isabel, and then back to Cameron. The best thing was to just throw it out there.

"Cameron, I understand why you feel it's important for Vanna and I, or even Jesse, be with John after Judgment Day." Allison said. "Can we talk freely about this in front of Isabel? Is it OK with you? We can keep it private too."

Cameron looked at Allison, but not at Isabel. There were a few things she wanted to reiterate. They were important to her.

"Yes." Cameron said. "Everyone knows it's my desire for you, Vanna, and Jesse to mate with John in a physical relationship. It's imperative he have two or three of you at his side. It's best if the children can be conceived before Judgment Day."

Cameron was aware the toxins Skynet unleashed in the future killed many, and made it harder for most to reproduce. A majority of the males and females ended up sterile. Not many children were born, few of those survived.

Isabel leaned forward to be a part of the conversation. It seemed to her she would be able to assist in Cameron's request.

"Do you wish for me to mate with him also?" Isabel asked. "I can do so when we get back."

Allison was a little shocked at what Isabel said. If it wasn't for the blank look on her face, she would have thought she was trying to be funny. A quick look at Cameron showed she wasn't amused.

Cameron kept her cool. She looked at Allison and then back at Isabel. She was more than slightly agitated with her.

"No." Cameron said. "It's not necessary at this time. I wouldn't like it. If I'm terminated, and John needs female companionship, it may become an option. John will always need a female by his side to function and not self terminate."

Isabel's blank look never changed.

"I'm not a female." Isabel said. "I'm a machine."

Cameron found Isabel to be very irritating. The more she was around her, the more she disliked her.

"You can function as a human female in every way, except to produce offspring." Cameron said harshly. "It's why you were constructed as an anatomical female."

Isabel looked down at the front of her sheath. She touched her breasts and elsewhere.

"Affirmative…." Isabel said. "I have the same human female apparatus as Allison. I wish to experiment. May I experiment with John? It will better prepare me for any future infiltration missions."

Cameron could see Isabel was serious. She quickly glanced at Allison, and then back at Isabel.

"NO!" Cameron said.

Allison and Cameron looked at each other. They were both a little worried. It was clear Isabel was a little 'off'.

Isabel didn't see what the problem was. There were other options available. She focused her attention on Cameron.

"May I experiment with you?" Isabel asked.

Cameron tried to keep her cool. It was going to be difficult.

"No!" Cameron said as she became more agitated.

Isabel was about to ask Allison next, but she could tell Cameron was highly unstable right now. She didn't want to endanger Allison if Cameron experienced a problem.

Allison looked back at Isabel. Isabel looked at her. They held a long glance.

'If she only knew….' Allison thought.

Allison really wanted to be with a Metal girl again. She could see Isabel would be willing to try. The fact she seemed somewhat 'off' gave her some cause to worry. Isabel wasn't like Holly or Gail. She certainly wasn't like Cameron. She was their fourth female Terminator. Technically she was their second female Terminator since Gail and Holly were created as Restorators by Mrs. Weaver.

Cameron wanted Isabel to act and speak in a more 'normal' or natural fashion. She needed to be a little less blunt and offensive in her responses and questions. She didn't like the directions things could go with Allison. She would try to remain diplomatic and hope the situation would resolve itself. Perhaps another step needed to be taken.

"Isabel, I need you to run your infiltration programming for the rest of the mission." Cameron said.

The blank look quickly faded from Isabel's face. Her true natural beauty quickly radiated from her without the 'Terminator' look.

"You got it, sugar." Isabel said.

Cameron and Allison laughed. It seemed to ease the rising tension.

Allison and Isabel shared another long look.

"That's much better." Allison said.

Isabel smiled at her.

Allison wanted to get back to the discussion with Cameron. She believed it was of a serious nature.

"Cameron, will John be killed if only you are by his side in the future?" Allison asked.

Allison felt the vehicle swerve a little. She saw Cameron take her left hand off the steering wheel and lower it to her side. Oops! She knew instantly it wasn't the proper way to phrase the question. She probably should have used a little more tact and not been so direct.

"I hadn't thought of it in such a manner before. Based on what MY Jesse, and MY Riley, were trying to do, and the factions which developed, I believe you're correct. It's even more important you consummate your relationship with John." Cameron said as she pulled over.

Cameron realized she NEEDED to leave HER future to save Future John. It was as clear as day NOW. By his side she didn't 'protect' him, she endangered him. It was obvious she was the problem. It was all her fault.

She remembered all of the animosity some people expressed towards her and Future John. It was a very uncomfortable feeling to recollect. She was there to assist Future John and the Resistance. People shouldn't have focused on her. She did a lot to assist Future John. She wasn't the one in charge. Future John was. When there were setbacks people began to blame her.

Cameron started to glitch elsewhere. She knew she wasn't at one hundred percent right now.

"Isabel, I want you to drive for a while. I'll sit in the back with Allison." Cameron said.

Cameron pulled over to the side of the road.

The females all switched places.

Cameron looked at Allison for a long moment. She turned her attention back to Isabel.

"Turn off your audio, Isabel. Don't listen to us or watch us speak." Cameron said. "This is a private conversation. You need to respect other's privacy when they ask for it."

Isabel was still in full infiltration mode.

"Right on." Isabel said.

This time her colloquial speech was more irritating than it was funny. No one commented on it.

Allison could feel the atmosphere in the vehicle change. Things seem to take on a very serious note. It was a little unsettling.

Once they were in the back seat. Cameron took Allison's face in both her hands as she looked deep into her eyes.

"Allison, you MUST protect John. I didn't realize this was why it was so important for you and John to mate. NOW I understand. It's to keep him from being assassinated. The children are important because of the hardships of life after Judgment Day. John MUST be seen as trusting and listening to humans, not only to machines. John MUST love human females, not a machine. They will kill him. Do you understand? YOU MUST protect John." Cameron said very worried. "They will KILL him."

Allison said nothing at first. She didn't know what to say. It's what Vanna and her talked about. Now she was responsible for Cameron being flustered like this. It appeared Cameron was going to push harder now.

Cameron thought over the past events, so many of them made sense now. It was always right in front of her. Maybe she didn't want to see it. Maybe she didn't want to hear it. She didn't think she was responsible for anything negative which happened in the future. She believed she did a good job of assisting Future John and the Resistance. She didn't like to depend on others or ask for help. She needed help now. She needed help going forward.

"PLEASE, Allison, you MUST be there at John's side, always." Cameron said. "I know you love him. It's natural to follow your heart. I want you to love him, and him to love you. I want the same for Vanna as well. I know she loves him too. It's what I've wanted since I have met each of you. It's the same as Future Allison and Future Savannah. Jesse is a fine woman too. She has become a much better person than she was. I know Jesse loves Vanna and you too. For Jesse to be near John will be important too. You all must protect John. The future depends on you."

Cameron knew she didn't need to wait for Savannah or Young Allison. The help she needed was there now. She pictured Allison and Vanna as 'meat and potatoes' and Jesse as 'dessert'. It would be a wonderful setting for John. As the girls grew older, there would be a replacement set of younger ones to take their place. John should have everything he needed for the rest of his life. She needed to make sure it was a long one.

Allison was very worried about Cameron's increased animation. She could see Cameron was completely on edge. She didn't think it was going to lead to anything good. She wants to try to put the brakes on things. Cameron needed to redirect her attention elsewhere or there was going to be a problem. She glanced in the front seat at Isabel. It seemed there was already one problem. She didn't need two of them.

"Cameron, please calm down." Allison said.

Allison was afraid Cameron was going to get too 'wound up' and overload again.

Cameron could see the worry she caused Allison. It wasn't her intent to do so. She did try to communicate what needed to be done and why.

"I'm sorry." Cameron said.

Allison knew her duty and she knew what she felt. They were very compatible to her. It didn't seem they needed to rush things. Everything seemed to work in harmony at the Resistance base. She believed it was because of the restraint Vanna, Jesse, and she showed in regards to John. They thought about Cameron first. They always needed to think about Cameron first

"I PROMISE I'll be at John's side when he needs me to be." Allison said. "It's not time yet. I love you, Cameron. I LOVE YOU. Please don't make me 'hurt' you to help you. I WILL BE THERE. I PROMISE."

Cameron moved her forehead against Allison's forehead and held it there.

Allison could feel Cameron's tears as they silently landed on her. It bothered her greatly how things affected Cameron. It seemed this 'episode' was her fault. She shouldn't have asked about it on a mission. She should have done it with Vanna at her side.

She could tell Cameron believed what she said. She could also see how it pained her to say it. It was almost like whatever she did would be the wrong thing. Even if it was the right thing, it was the wrong thing. She still believed to move forward with John now, would hurt Cameron more than it would help her. It still seemed to her as if Cameron was deep with an internal conflict, between what she was supposed to do as John's protector, and what she wanted to do as herself. She really didn't know what to do.

Vanna wanted to explain the same dilemma to John and what her belief was about Cameron and Future John. She laid it all out as she saw it. John listened intently. He looked very uneasy when she finished. She understood it was a subject no one wanted to talk about even if it was what they needed to talk about.

"Do you understand NOW?" Vanna asked.

John shook his head and nodded. He knew it was a touchy subject for everyone involved, especially those who didn't want to be involved. Circumstances seemed to touch all of them and include all of them. He wasn't looking to make any waves. There seemed to be enough of those already.

"I think I do now since you've laid it out so clearly." John said.

Vanna wasn't sure how to look at it any other way. She knew it was a very touchy and uncomfortable subject to deal with. Cameron tried to see everything in black and white. The rest of them couldn't. She believed Cameron saw more than black and white as well, even if she didn't want to admit it.

"It makes sense." Vanna said.

John figured there was a target on his back. It appeared what occurred with Future Jesse and Future Riley was just the start in regards to him.

"With what we found out about Jesse – Future Jesse, the evil one, and the faction she represented, I believe they would try to kill me." John said. "I better understand Cameron's concern about the anti-Metal faction now."

John was sure they would try to terminate Cameron too. They may try to target her first. It was probably another reason Cameron didn't want any other humans added to the Resistance and their base. She didn't trust any of them after Riley - Future Riley and Future Jesse. She told him the anti-Metal faction was as big of a threat to her as was Skynet.

Vanna thought Future John NEEDED to send Cameron away to protect her from assassination by the anti-Metal faction. It was the only way to save her existence, her life. She wondered how hard it was to send away the one you love. If it wasn't done, the other person would die. What choice is there then?

"I don't believe Cameron knows it's why she is pushing us all together. It's because she HAS to." Vanna said. "She's sacrificing her heart to protect you. By sacrificing her heart, she's sacrificing herself."

John thought Future John needed to sacrifice, and Cameron now too. It made him think of the saying he always heard. He didn't think it was as bad as what Future Derek said about how everyone would die for him. He wasn't sure there was too much difference between sacrifice and death when it came to certain things. They sort of seemed one in the same, even if they weren't.

"Everyone sacrifices for John Connor." John said disgustedly.

Vanna knew the solution. It was just the timing which made the difference. Certain things were part of other things. She believed there was a distinction between them.

"It isn't just about the children, but about you loving, and being with, other humans." Vanna said. "We must become one family to save the future, IF Judgment Day arrives."

Cameron was the one who seemed to have the most trouble with everything. She seemed to see things as absolutes. They could see things with a lot more flexibility. The approach didn't always need to be the direct approach.

"I get it. It's Cameron I'm worried about. I don't think she understands why it is so important to her. She may not see the reason." John said. "I mean the REAL reason."

Vanna hoped Allison was able to get Cameron squared away. Then again, it might cause some new problems. It seemed to be the case often enough. Cameron probably knew the real reason, but didn't want to admit it for what it was.

"Allison was going to talk to her if she got the chance today." Vanna said.

John went over it all again. He was afraid it would only intensify Cameron's efforts.

"I think this will only drive Cameron harder to have us in physical contact with each other." John said. "It would be a lie to say I wouldn't want it. You and Allison are beautiful, as is Jesse. I can honestly say it would be 'a dream come' true…. I don't want to hurt Cameron. I can't hurt her. It's Cameron I'm worried about. No matter what she says, I know it will kill her inside. I know it. How do we ever resolve this? How do we not hurt Cameron and save the future?"

Vanna wished there was an answer. If there was one, she didn't know it.

"I don't know. I love Cameron, John. I love her. I love you too. I want to protect everyone." Vanna said. "So does Allison. We need to do something."

At this point, John thought it would be nice if there were two of him.

"Maybe there's an alternate Future Timeline Me out there somewhere. It's what I need, another me." John said.

Vanna knew Cameron believed in the 'Natural Order'. It was John Connor with Allison Young and Savannah Weaver. It seemed it could happen in several combinations. What if the new 'Natural Order' was actually the four of them? Why couldn't it be? She decided to throw it out to John to see what he thought about it.

"Or we just all get together as a foursome and start a new life together." Vanna said. "It IS going to have to happen anyway. It's OUR future."

John actually liked the idea. He previously thought of a way to make it all work. He didn't know how to present it. It was based on the timing and the order the players were put into the game.

"I know it sounds crazy, but IF you and Allison could get Cameron to be with you first…." John said. "It would make it easier to have you two share with me."

Vanna wondered about it. If it did happen, what if Cameron became possessive of them, Allison and her? It could create another problem. She may not want to share them with John.

Either way it was Vanna's dream to be with Cameron. She remembered how infatuated she was when she first viewed Cameron's damaged chassis. She remembered the beauty of dealing with Cameron on the server. She found her to be such a unique individual. At the time Cameron was a mind trapped without a body. She fixed her body and they used the tether to reanimate her. Her mind had a body, even if they were still separate. When Allison arrived from the future, Cameron was restored.

'If John only knew, If Cameron only knew….' Vanna thought.

It was everything Vanna wanted.

'If I Were a Carpenter' by 'Willie Nelson and Sheryl Crow', played in the background.

Closing monologue by Cameron:

Ourselves

We are who and what we are
Why can't that be good enough
Why can't we accept ourselves
We will NEVER have the 'right stuff'

We don't need to be fixed
For we're not really broken
Just to be accepted as our self
For each other we have spoken

I feel envy of things you have done
Nothing has ever stopped you
I know you have not found the one
Look inside don't miss the cue

So when you feel low down
And think of death's grim view
Know that if I could
That I wish I were you

Nobody