Chapter 250

Gear Up

Previously:

Vanna told Allison she was lonely. Vanna asked her not to mention it, but she felt it was her obligation to Vanna to do so. She wanted to spend time with her parents. It put distance between her and Vanna and all the resulting problems. She loved Vanna. She knew they would always be together, even through the rough spots. No matter how many others they may each share with, they both knew they would always come back to each other.

Allison informed Cameron how Vanna was lonely with her living at the Young residence with Holly. She pointed out Jesse was with Gail. She wanted to make it as clear as possible to Cameron.

"I have Holly, and Jesse has Gail, Cameron." Allison said. "Vanna needs 'more'. I want her to have what she wants. I'm asking you to help her."

Cameron was worried about Vanna being lonely. She knew what loneliness could do to someone. Vanna was the first one to love her knowing what she was. She loved Vanna. She loved Vanna even more for loving her. She could offer immediate 'help' to Vanna.

"I'll send back Hanna, Ally, or Sheila immediately." Cameron said. "Do you know which one she would prefer? I think it will be Ally."

Allison knew Ally would be just like her, almost. She wanted something better for Vanna. She wanted 'a version' of Cameron for Vanna. She would 'hint' further to see what came up. Maybe there were others she didn't know about. There could be all sorts of different things available. She was amused at the prospect there could be a Terminator version of Sarah. Somehow she didn't think it would go over very well. Well, it would with the other girls. It wouldn't go over well with Sarah.

"I don't know." Allison said. "Do you have any others?"

Cameron didn't say anything at first.

Allison waited. She was sure now there was something more. Maybe there was a Terminator version of Sarah. Wait, could there be a Terminator version of Riley. No. She didn't think so.

Cameron needed a moment to weigh her options. There were other things she planned to do. Some of them are already set in motion.

"Maybe, there are a few things in the works." Cameron said.

Allison hoped for a better answer. Maybe it really was a Terminator version of Riley or Sarah. She prompted Cameron again.

"Maybe, as in what?" Allison asked.

Cameron was unsure if she really lived her life over and over. If she did there were more of her. She didn't know if she should say anything or not. She wasn't sure if she wanted to know.

"There may be more of 'myself' somewhere in New Mexico." Cameron said.

Allison instantly perked up. She wondered what Cameron meant. Maybe there were more Duplicates of her. She would have liked to have met Duplicate Cameron as well as the Duplicate version of the other girls, and especially the Duplicate version of herself. She was sure the girls would have shared with their Duplicate selves. She needed to refocus. If there were more of 'Cameron', she wanted to know.

"What?" Allison asked. "Where? How?"

Cameron decided to lay it out. She'd hinted at such a possibility before. So far there was no proof, one way or the other, about any of it. It was all speculation.

"I think I've lived this life, my life, multiple times." Cameron said. "I think I stay with John until he dies. I then go back in time and replace myself in 1999. I believe I reset my chip to the 1999 time period and then relive my life over again. Certain files stay hidden until I need them. I believe River has helped me with this. I don't know for sure."

The concept was wild to Allison. Not only was it intriguing there may be more of Cameron, the fact she may have done everything multiple times was mind blowing. It's too bad she reset her chip, otherwise she would know what happened each time.

"So you've done this over and over?" Allison asked. "Does anything change?"

Cameron didn't have any proof. There was nothing to back up her speculation. She wasn't so sure her nightmares were nightmares but perhaps things taken out of other lifetimes she may have lived. There was no way to know the outcome of any lifetime she experienced again.

"I don't think so. I believe River has encrypted certain events to keep me from altering the past or future. It's why the TDE won't work into the past now." Cameron said. "I would have gone back and changed things, again. Your death being one of them."

Allison swallowed hard when Cameron mentioned 'her death'. She wasn't dead. She knew Cameron meant Duplicate Allison's death, but it was still unsettling. She could tell Cameron was serious about attempting to rescue her Duplicate self who was killed. There could be two of her! She wanted to make sure. She saw it as a way to fulfill her obligations to either John or Vanna. She decided not to mention John.

"So there could be two of me at the same time, and both are actually ME?" Allison asked. "It would help Vanna out big time. It would be kind of hot too."

Allison didn't say it, but she would want to 'share' with Duplicate Allison, at least one time, to 'see' what she was like to others. It would be Hot. She wondered about what would happen with the Duplicate version of Vanna, and the Duplicate version of Jesse.

Cameron wanted to point out there was Future Allison and Young Allison, but Duplicate Allison really was Allison. If she could only rescue one of the Duplicate girls, it would be Duplicate Allison. It was for a very specific reason. She was very determined to achieve her goal.

"Yes." Cameron said. "The Duplicate version of you also carries John's baby, YOUR baby. I'm going to get you, well, her back. I swear it. I'm working on my own TDE. I have Sheila working on the programming so I'm not involved with it. I've been on Holly's chip so Hanna and Ally are not to touch it. I don't want the encryption on it as well. I'm going to do it."

Allison could see Cameron was serious. It opened the door a little further for other possibilities. It was something to explore more. Since she thought about it earlier, she figured she might as well ask. What could it hurt?

"What about the Duplicate versions of Vanna and Jesse?" Allison asked.

Allison wouldn't mind having the 'extra' Jesse for herself, or her 'own' Vanna. She was going to need to get Holly on board for the extra people around the house. She needed to get Holly to be with the other girls as well. It was the only way she could keep her from feeling bad or jealous. There was plenty of love to share. She wanted Holly to know what life could offer.

Cameron felt an immense sense of guilt and grief. It wasn't actually her doing, but she still felt responsible. It was more than just possessing Duplicate Cameron's files. It was what she filled herself as well. They were certain wrongs which needed to be corrected. She didn't know how yet, but she was going to figure out a way.

"I don't know. I'll try to save them as well." Cameron said. "Your Duplicates all died trying to help me, even if it was actually Duplicate Cameron. I can't live with it forever. I MUST correct the problem."

Cameron knew the girls would all do the same thing for her and would all pay the same price. It made her feel toxic in a way. It was love to die for on all of their parts. It was why the Duplicate girls died. They did because they loved her. Duplicate Cameron was her. She possessed all of those files. Everything was identical until the TDE incident created the Duplicates.

Allison noted Cameron's left hand began to glitch violently. She wondered if it was out of the guilt Cameron felt for the death of their Duplicate selves, and the baby's termination. It was still hard to imagine she was pregnant. Well, the Duplicate version of her was pregnant.

She knew it was the baby Cameron wanted because it was John's baby.

Allison came to comfort Cameron. Soon after she took Cameron's left hand, it stopped glitching. She watched Savannah do it before. When Savannah did it, the glitch stopped instantly. When Vanna, Jesse, or her did it, there was always a time lag. The glitch would slow and eventually stop. It really made her wonder what Savannah possessed they didn't. Maybe it was Savannah's unshakable faith in Cameron and her ability to survive and return. She needed Cameron to understand how they felt about her.

"We love you, Cameron. It's why we did it. We would all do it again." Allison said. "I know it wasn't actually me, but I would have done the same thing. I still would do the same thing too. I know we all would. We all love you. We would all die for you, Cameron."

Allison's words troubled Cameron. It was often what was said in the future she left. All of those in the Resistance said they would die for John Connor. He was worth dying for. She wasn't. It's what she feared. Love kills, or it could anyway.

"I know." Cameron said. "It's what tortures me. I'm not worth your lives. YOU and the others belong at John's side, not me. I'm the aberration to time. I need to make it right. It's something I must do. I can't live with your deaths 'forever'."

Cameron knew forever was a long time.

Allison didn't believe Cameron was an 'aberration' for one second. It wasn't how it was at all. It was all just the opposite. Cameron was what held everything together. Cameron made it all happen. She wanted to set Cameron straight. The evidence seemed to indicate otherwise.

"If it were really the case, Cameron, and you were an aberration to time, you wouldn't be at John's side through multiple lifetimes or timelines." Allison said. "Think about it. You're there every time."

Every free moment Cameron had was filled with those very thoughts and ways to 'fix' everything. Thousands and thousands of scenarios played out in her mind. They're never seemed to be any type of satisfactory resolution to any of them.

"I have, Allison." Cameron said. "I have thought of it millions and millions of times. Everything which has happened, or will happen, is all I think about. I do it almost every second of every day. I don't want things to go wrong. I don't want people to be hurt. I don't want anyone to be terminated. I want everything to work out. There's no way to control everything. There's no way to fix everything. I have to try. I need to try harder."

Allison could see the torment on Cameron's face and hear it in her voice. No wonder she did such extreme acts at times. The torment in her mind must be unbearable. It seemed more than anyone should need to bear.

"It sounds painful." Allison said. "I'm sorry about all of it for you."

It just didn't seem like everything should be Cameron's responsibility. It wasn't.

Cameron never wanted anyone else to feel remorse, guilt, pain, and torment the same way she did. She wouldn't wish it on anyone. It's why termination through combat, or through self-termination seemed to be the only way to escape at times. There was no rest for her. There were no timeouts. Everything was one continuous event.

"It is, Allison." Cameron said. "It is. I don't sleep. You have no idea…."

Allison held Cameron's hand tighter as she felt it start to glitch again. She wanted to kiss Cameron and hold her. She wanted to share Cameron's pain. She wanted to share her love with Cameron. There needed to be some way to ease the burden. She didn't know what it was.

Cameron was able to collect herself. She appreciated Allison's attempts to comfort her. Everything changed when Allison needed to leave to use the restroom. She was alone by herself. Her hand started to glitch again. It stopped instantly when something took her hand. Her first thought was Savannah was there. She looked down and saw who it was. It was Young Allison. She could feel the tears well up inside of her. The two girls who would protect the future could protect her just by their touch and their presence.

Young Allison smiled at Cameron. She didn't say anything. She didn't need to.

Cameron smiled back at her. She knew there was still hope for the future. No matter how it seemed to stack up against her, the 'Natural Order' would prevail. John would be protected by the two females who protected him in the future she left. She didn't care what anyone said or indicated. Savannah and Young Allison were the 'Chosen Ones'.

Young Allison gave Cameron a kiss on the cheek and left.

Allison returned a few seconds later. She was unaware of what occurred. She was pleased to see Cameron was back to her normal self. She actually looked quite content now.

Cameron needed to attend to other affairs. John Henry informed her there were Skynet related targets to deal with. He would have everything ready for her when she returned to the Resistance base. She bid everyone at the Young residence farewell and left.

Later on:

John, Cameron, and John Henry gathered all the final intel on the target. The strike was set.

The group was gathered and ready to go.

John went to make sure everyone was ready and protected.

"Gear up." John said.

Against Cameron's protests, John would lead the strike anyway.

Cameron was going to pull a fast one on John. She assigned Ally and Hanna to accompany John along with Bob. She gave them an earlier assignment along with Sheila to take Savannah on a training mission. She didn't know it was Savannah who 'trained' the Metal girls.

John looked at Ally and Hanna. He didn't know they weren't Allison and Vanna. It caused him some concern for their safety.

"Allison and Vanna don't need to accompany me." John said.

Cameron looked at Ally and Hanna and smiled.

"They want to." Cameron said. "They're Resistance fighters too."

Cameron told Ally and Hanna to operate in full infiltration mode. They possessed many of the 'memories' of Allison and Vanna. They were the perfect infiltrators. She felt they were better than her all around for infiltration. They could be playful and happy, as well as sexual. Everything they did seemed very natural. Without trying, they did it better than she could, all of it. She was proud of her creations.

Bob noticed it wasn't Allison and Vanna. He could see John was concerned about their safety. He wanted to give him one less thing to worry about. He was going to point it out to John.

Cameron quickly looked at Bob with a hard stare. He looked away and said nothing. He knew John was the most important thing to the future. He was aware Cameron wanted more Terminators around John. He knew John would protest if there were too many Terminators around him. With the Metal girls, he wouldn't know. He wanted to see how good the Metal girls were as infiltrators and Terminators.

Hanna and Ally were both pleased John thought they were Vanna and Allison. They weren't 'made' in the first second like they were with Savannah. They still weren't sure how Savannah could tell so quickly.

Everyone put on their body armor and the rest of their gear. They headed out in two vehicles. Derek would lead the second team of Jesse, Gail, and Steve. Cameron would reinforce whichever team was necessary, or act a third force as needed. Jesse also seemed unaware Hanna and Ally weren't actually Vanna and Allison. They did some playful banter. Gail looked at them but refrained from commenting.

Each team would have a drone at their disposal. It would be a night raid. They usually didn't have direct air support. It would be something new. Hopefully it would give them an advantage.

John Henry made sure the helicopter was ready. It was on standby. If needed, it would arrive with a force of five more Terminators and Kyle as team leader. If a secondary target arose related to the first one, the backup force would be directed to deal with it. They tried to cover all the bases and set contingencies ahead of time.

At the base Savannah watched Jan with Sarah.

Savannah learned everything about the Resistance operation. She was great around the younger ones too. She wanted to learn and know 'everything'.

She liked to go visit Young Allison and Summer as well. She knew in the event of Judgment Day, Young Allison and her would be together. Summer and Jan would also be with them. As the oldest of the youngest, she would be the team leader for the girls. As Cameron mentored her, she would mentor Jan and the Young sisters as well. She made sure Young Allison and Summer knew their 'place' in the future. She KNEW her role and function. The Young sisters would also. The 'Natural Order' wouldn't be disrupted. She looked at her naked body everyday in the mirror when she took her shower. She awaited the day she would be able to provide Cameron what she promised her. She planned to do it as soon as she was able to do so.

Sarah could see Savannah was thinking about something.

"What's on your mind, sweetie?" Sarah asked.

Savannah knew she couldn't tell Sarah what she just thought about. Sarah wouldn't understand. She decided to give Sarah a subject she would be more acclimated to.

"When can I start advanced weapons training?" Savannah asked. "Cameron has already taken me several times for small arms training. I'm ready to do more."

Sarah looked Savannah over and cringed a little. She did understand the girls needed to be ready for the future. She was well aware of what happened to the girls from the future at a much younger age than Savannah was now. She needed to protect her daughter too from such abuse.

"I'm sure she has." Sarah said. "Have you done any explosives training?"

Savannah looked forward to it. She needed to learn to be a Resistance fighter.

"I haven't done it yet with live explosives. Cameron said I would do it soon." Savannah said. "I need to learn as much as I can to be ready to fight Skynet."

Sarah knew it was her life now, and her son's life. She didn't want it to be Savannah's life or Jan's life. Maybe it was unavoidable. Savannah should want to do the things she did at her same age.

"Don't you want to do girl stuff, or young woman things instead?" Sarah asked. "Like dress up and use makeup and to 'go out'?"

Savannah wasn't around other females of her age often. Vanna kept a tight watch on her when she was with her. She wouldn't allow any males to get near her. She saw there were times when Vanna was ready to draw her weapon and use it if any men got too close. Allison and Jesse backed her up if they were around. Cameron didn't want her isolated like the girls from the future did. She was aware Sarah didn't want her isolated either.

"Sometimes I do, but I already know my future. Cameron has allowed me to experiment and taught me about all of those things. My destiny and the future of mankind narrows the path I'll follow. I embrace the future with what and who it has to offer me…. I already know what I want." Savannah said as she looked at a photo of John in Sarah's room. "I look forward to it everyday…."

Sarah cringed a little more at the last part. She understood it was what Future John wanted for John. Cameron seemed to be on board with it and actively 'pushed' it. She just didn't want Cameron to have Savannah in John's bed for a few more years, at least. She wanted Savannah to have a little bit of teenage life first. She worried about Cameron 'taking' a child away from Savannah. It would leave some kind of an emotional scar on Savannah. She felt no matter how much Cameron 'groomed', 'conditioned', or 'brain washed' her, Savannah wouldn't want to give up a child she carried for nine months. She figured Savannah would do it because she loved Cameron. She also thought Savannah would regret it for the rest of her life.

It just wasn't a discussion she wanted to get into with Savannah right now, especially not in front of Jan.

Savannah glanced in the mirror. She knew she wasn't a girl anymore. Her body was ready for more. She was more than 'ready'. She could feel it. Her body 'told her' she was ready. Cameron said her body would 'tell her' when she was 'ready'.

'I'm more 'ready' than they think. I'm a big girl now. My body is ready. My mind is ready. I'm READY.' Savannah thought. 'What else do I need to wait for?'

Savannah felt Cameron prepared her well. Cameron told her about what she saw in school with the other students. Cameron didn't leave out any details. She knew what the other girls her age were doing and she wanted it too…. If she was in school like they were, then it's what she would be doing too. She looked at everything on the internet. What she viewed wasn't restricted in any way. She watched the videos and looked at the photos. She was ready for all of it. She was different from the other girls in one respect. She had a specific goal and a purpose. Cameron often reminded her of it and listened to her promises with a smile on her face as she scanned her.

Savannah was aware when she looked at the images, she liked to look at the girls alone, and the girls together with other girls, more than the girls with the guys…. She didn't tell Cameron. She tried to 'be with' Allison and Jesse whenever she could. She wondered if they understood what she 'wanted'. She didn't think it would hurt to have a little 'experience' before she was with John.

Closing monologue by Cameron:

Is It...

Is it a crime to want to love
To share feelings and emotion
Not some worthless sexual encounter
But to share the heart's true devotion

Is it a sin to want to love
Minds touching in deepest thought
Pain and loneliness pushed aside
Pure true love can never be bought

Is it wicked to want to love
To exchange desires and feel passion
To understand the damage to a mind
Giving strength and expressing compassion

Is it evil to want to love
With someone who knows your pain
Who knows the same hurt and shame
Knowing the beauty within your brain

Is it sinister to want to love
Eyes sending love without needing to speak
Two hands touching the fingers communicate
It's true pure love that's strong not weak

Is it ugly to want to love
The true beauty is the person within
The good, the bad, and the ugly in us
Something deeper than the outer skin

Is it horrible to want to love
To share the feeling of a "normal" life
We have the desire and ability
Damaged and afraid we exist in strife

Is it atrocious to want to love
With someone different but yet the same
For without love, feeling, and sharing
It is simply time to end life's cruel game

Nobody