I guess Heaven was needing a hero
Somebody just like you
Brave enough to stand up for what you believe and follow it through
When I try to make it make sense in my mind
The only conclusion I come to
Is that Heaven was needing a hero like you
I remember the last time I saw you
Oh you held your head up proud
I laughed inside when I saw how you were standing out in the crowd
You're such a part of who I am
Now that part will just be void
- Heaven Was Needing a Hero by Jo Dee Messina

After meeting Dumbledore, I wandered aimlessly through the empty castle as most of the students were eating in the Great Hall. But I didn't feel like eating or the company of the other Professors. At one point I found myself on top of one of the astronomy towers and stared at the sky, the stars twinkled and the cold swept through my body.
What just happened? I had officially resigned at the end of the school year, and my position would now be re-advertised. Surely, it would be right next to the ad for a new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher.
I closed my eyes briefly, I was tired of being a pawn, not being able to live my life the way I wanted. I wanted to stay here at Hogwarts, where I could feel at home, with Severus and officially loving him, without the constant burden of his guilt that was crushing him so much. And I wanted my best friend's son to be able to grow up carefree. But he would carry just as much of a burden as Severus. And Harry wouldn't know until later, and I wondered if there was a choice for him. Could he choose between a carefree life and fighting Voldemort? I sighed, knowing that Dumbledore would make sure Harry turned out the way he was supposed to. It was precisely for this reason that I was refused to take Harry in and raise him. I would have been a mother to him. Someone who would have truly loved him, spoiled him. Something Dumbledore hadn't intended for this boy. I hated myself in that moment for not having fought for my weakness. I should have defended myself more. But I knew Dumbledore was right.
I was just a shadow, just able to keep myself alive. Trapped in deep darkness for years. And if it wasn't for the visits from Remus and my work - who knows what would have happened to me.
"Catherine..." A low and gentle voice snapped me out of my heavy thoughts. I wanted to turn around slowly, but I already felt his warm body on my back, his arms wrapped around me from behind and is breath on my neck. I grabbed his arms and folded them further around me. It was so good, it calmed me to feel him close.

"Was it that bad with Dumbledore?" Severus asked, looking up at the sky with me.

"What makes you think that?" I replied, because I didn't want to burden him with my thoughts, he already had enough to carry.

"You didn't eat, and that's something that happens extremely rarely."; he stated dryly, there was a bit of amusement in his voice that made me grin. Yes, I enjoyed the food at Hogwarts.

"What's on your mind, Catherine?" Severus asked when I remained silent. I sighed, knowing it was better if he knew what was going on inside me.

"Oh, Severus. I would love to stay and yet I have to go. And it will be like I've never been here. This castle, this site, the students...I will miss all of it, but I will be forgotten quickly." I stated sadly.

"I doubt it. A few of these students will certainly not forget you. Just think of Weasley. He pants like a dog when he sees you."

"Don't be silly," I said, a little annoyed.

"And what about me? I'll only think about you all day long. I already do that most of the time and when you're not at Hogwarts my days get even blacker." Severus said bitterly himself now and I knew my absence would be as hard on him as it was on me. Being separated from Hogwarts was one thing, but being separated from Severus seemed unthinkable.

"I hope the nights are ours then," I said, looking into the blackness of the night. The cold of winter pulled even deeper into me, literally eating away at me and I began to tremble. Severus wrapped his cloak around both of us now.

"As often as possible," he said softly, pulling me even tighter.

The next morning, I woke up unusually early. My eyes fell on Severus sleeping next to me in his new pyjama. Emerald green looked so damn good on him that I couldn't resist and my fingers gently touched his face, trailing down his hooked nose, his thin lips, down his warm and slightly prominent cheekbones. To me he was the most beautiful and attractive man in the world, and I knew he always would be. Too awake to sleep any longer, I reached into my nightstand drawer for a book, but my fingers found a small box. I stiffened internally as I touched it, having forgotten it was there. And the memory washed over me, along with the fear of loss. What if I lost Severus the same way I lost him? I pulled out the little red box. With shaky hands, I opened it and took a look at that damn ring. And I knew what I had to do. I had to say goodbye to this part, look ahead and hope. Hoping that a new war against Voldemort would end differently.

Cold snow shot into my face and made my cheeks tremble. With a wave of my wand, the snowflakes bounced off in front of me and fell to the floor. I followed them while stretching my feet. He was late but I shouldn't worry because he wrote that he might not be on time. It was the day after the full moon and I knew that leaden fatigue continued to plague his life despite the Wolfsbane potion.
I heard the cracking of a branch behind me, turned around and there he was. He had dark circles under his eyes and his light brown hair, streaked with grey, swept through the blizzard. But he had a grin on his face, his cheeks were fuller and he had gained a lot of weight, he looked almost healthy.
A smile spread immediately as he walked towards me, arms open to hug me tightly and kiss my cheek in greeting, as had been our tradition since school days.

"Remus. Sorry, I didn't expect such an early onset of winter when I arranged this day with you." My voice tried to fight against the wind that blew towards us from the raging sea.

"Who else expects a snowstorm in December? But it doesn't bother me and this day can't be postponed." Remus said and he was right. It was Christmas time after all. And since we both wanted to spend this festival together this year, it was a unique opportunity.

I nodded, my grin swept away by the memory. Remus nodded knowingly and offered me his right arm, which was encased in a thick wool coat. I accepted it gratefully and together we walked to the small fenced area on a hill overlooking the sea, whose wild noise was in our ears.

I knew exactly where to find him because everything hadn't changed since my last visit. I retrieved my wand with shaky fingers and materialized a wreath of bay tree, edelweiss, zinnia, and blue salvia, which I lovingly placed on the snow-covered grave. My eyes touched the inscription:

In honour, courage and love
Gideon Prewett
1953-1980
Fabian Prewett
1956-1980

My eyes filled with tears. Today exactly last moth would be the day of his birthday and at the same time it was the year that he and his brother are missing 10 years in this world. I bit my lower lip painfully, sometimes wondering if I was to blame for their death.
Could it have been prevented if I hadn't… if Severus hadn't… and so I suppressed my feelings of guilt, which didn't always work out. But nothing helped, it wouldn't alleviate the pain, quite the opposite and I was here to say goodbye. Gideon and also Fabian had a place in my heart, and I was so infinitely grateful to have known these two wonderful people and to have been so close to Gideon. But a new phase of life was approaching, and my heart had wandered to the one who now received it with open arms.

"The wreath is very appropriate, Catherine," he said softly, trying to reach me with a smile.

"You know what these flowers mean?" I asked in amazement, thinking it was something few witches and wizards knew about. But I remembered that Remus' mother was also a muggleborn witch. Remus nodded and looked at the wreath of flowers.

"Bay tree stands for `Glory`or `Courage`, `devotion` is the Edelweis, the Zinnia means `Thoughts of absent friends`, `lasting affection` and the Blue Salvia…`I think of you`. Right?"

"Exactly. I didn't know you had a sense for flowers and their meanings, Remus." I stated and it warmed my heart that he now grinned broadly.

"Sometimes I'm still full of surprises even for you, too.", he said and I turned back to the grave in front of us.

Remus squeezed my hand and looked at me with a tight mouth, sensing my thoughts of sadness and guilt because he carried them within himself.

"It's alright," I sobbed, feeling the hot tears heating my cheeks. I gulped as I read the names of his parents, Ruby and Liberius Prewett, next to them. Was this how they had imagined the end of their two sons? Surrounded by five raging fanatics who went against their sons' morals and norms? And this was the only reason they both had to die. Because they represented their ideals with their death? I briefly closed my eyes in anger.

But didn't Severus do the same? Throw his life in the balance of fate for his guilt and conviction? I knew I couldn't take another loss like that. My fingers nervously pressed against the small box in my coat.
I opened my eyes and saw my friend's serious face, who was watching me worriedly, narrowing his eyes and still clutching my hand. My other hand moved briefly to pull the box out of my pocket and place it on the grave, but I hesitated, suddenly sensing that this wasn't the right place. Not after seeing his parents' names carved in stone next to their two dead sons. Their beloved sons, both of whom were never allowed to be happy growing old with the people they loved.

"I have yet to make a little detour into Devon near Ottery St Catchpole. I understand if you don't want to come with me, the storm seems to be getting worse," I said softly, not knowing if Remus had even heard me over the roar of the wind.

"I'll stay by your side," he said, squeezing my hand again and I nodded gratefully. I was so glad he was here with me as I would have found it difficult to be here alone or with Severus, who would certainly have accompanied me if I had asked him, would have been out of place here. Because it was a farewell to an old love to which he still reacted with jealousy.

"Goodbye, Gideon. I'll see you on the other side." I whispered, earning a confused look from Remus with a raised eyebrow. But I looked at Remus with a small grin. "Eventually," I added quietly.

Then I grabbed Remus' arm and we left with a soft "pop".

We appeared in front of a strange house that was literally sinking into the snow. Viewed from the outside, it looked like a converted pigsty, which was expanded at every nook and cranny according to the needs of the residents. It has five stacked floors and several chimneys.

Remus and I walked slowly towards the gate and noticed several children's footprints in the snow. In front of the house were some rubber boots and winter boots, toys and even a book, which had meanwhile become quite muddy. I slowly picked it up and tapped my wand on it. It immediately shone in new splendour and showed the Chudley Cannons, a Quidditch team if I remember correctly.

"Ready?" I asked Remus.

"What should I expect?" Remus asked me uncertainly, his gaze wandered over the rickety construction of the house.

"Gideon's sister, which means a lot of mothering." I replied with a grin. Remus swallowed hard and I knocked on the front door with a big grin on my face.

After a while the door opened a crack and a boy of about 10 with red hair, a long nose and freckles looked at me. A typical Weasley stood in front of me.

"Hi, you must be Ron," I began, and before I could say anything else, he snatched the book on the Chudley Cannons from my hands.

"Oh thanks, I've been looking for that everywhere," he said, grabbing the book from my hands.

"Is your mother there by any chance? I'm an old acquaintance and I want to give her something I owe her." I explained. The boy widened his eyes and now looked me up and down, only giving Remus a sideways glance.

"Mom, I think there's some witch here trying to sell you something," he yelled loudly inside the house. I felt Remus tense up next to me, obviously struggling not to laugh out loud.

"What?" I heard Molly Weasley yell back. "Tell her we'll send the garden gnomes after her if she doesn't leave. We're not Interested."

"But maybe a few tips against garden gnomes?" I answered loudly and also tried to suppress a laugh.

"I know that voice..." and the head of a round woman with wild red hair was already looking out the door. She immediately pulled me in and I pulled after Remus.

"What a surprise! Catherine! Come in! Are you hungry? Ron and Ginny left some of the soup and that's a rarity! And let me see you! You're still so slim, but you're at Hogwarts now, right? The food there is speedy! Do you eat enough of it? By the way, Charlie is very fond of you. He says you're his favourite teacher next to Professor Kettleburn. And Percy is quite pleased that you're sticking to the curriculum so well, as it obviously makes such a good connection to his potions class. Oh, I'm happy to finally see you again after all this time!"

While she was talking, she hugged me a few times, so that I couldn't breathe or speak. Ron had meanwhile ducked back upstairs not to watch the banter.

"Thanks, Molly. May I introduce you to my friend Remus?" I asked and Remus held out his hand in greeting. It was only now that Molly even noticed that I hadn't come alone. She stared at him briefly before smiling.

"Come into the kitchen and warm up and then tell me anything new about you, my dear!" Molly said firmly, pushing us in the right direction. I wasn't difficult as it was the bottom floor of the house, which was dominated by the kitchen and living room. The small kitchen was crowded with an old dining table and many different chairs, the stove, various kitchen appliances and an open fireplace. The sink was doing the washing up from lunch on its own with a spell to do so. The warmth hit us and reddened our cheeks, which had previously turned pale from the cold. The smell of the soup was still in the air and let our bellies rumble for a moment. Molly set down two full plates and began cutting bread for us.

"Isn't Arthur there?" I asked as I sipped the hot potato soup and I looked at the magic clock on the wall, the hand of which read Arthur's "Busy", Bill's "At work", Charlie', Percy´s and the twins Fred and George to "At School" and Ron and Ginny's pointers to " At Home".

"Yes, he's just a few miles away at the Fawcetts'. Must have been a little inconvenience with the muggle neighbours. He'll sort it out quickly and unobtrusively." She explained, staring openly at Remus, who was tucking into his soup. After the full moon he always looked like a starving animal.

"It's good that Arthur always shows a lot of understanding for something like that. I always liked that about him." Remus said with his mouth full.

"Oh, you know Arthur?" Molly inquired, now with a friendlier face on, looking at Remus, who had spoken with his mouth full and was now coughing

"Yes, from the dark ages. We were all in the Order." I explained briefly, because Remus was trying not to choke on the bread.

"I'd rather not think about that. There were…too many casualties." Molly eyed me intently as she spoke.

"That's why I'm here, Molly," I said softly, pulling the small red box with the engagement ring out of my robes and pushing it across the kitchen table to her. She looked at it briefly and when she recognized the box, she smiled lovingly at the sight.

"Gideon would have been 37 last month. I was just thinking this morning when he used a Sticky Curse on my hair on the door when I was a kid because I accidentally left his favourite book in the snow," She stated in a choking voice, her eyes glazed over as if she would be looking straight into the past. "And you honoured his ring over the years." A tear rolled down her rosy cheek.

"Yes, and now it's time to return the ring to where it belongs. It was an heirloom from your grandmother, as far as I know," I said, looking into her warm eyes, which were now studying me again.

"It's a beautiful piece, goblin-made. But the ring belongs to you, my dear!" She interjected, slowly opening the box. She took out the ring. It was gold and had a red ruby in the centre flanked by 2 diamonds.

"It's part of your family history. I was never allowed to wear it; Gideon didn't even manage to put it on my finger personally before he was ripped from life…" I said, hearing how bitter my voice sounded. Molly raised her eyebrows with a sigh.

"And now your heart belongs to someone else, I assume?" she asked softly.

"Yes," I replied simply, oddly uncomfortable telling her that her brother was not the only man in my life, but she didn't seem to mind. She carefully put the ring back in the red box.

"But that's exactly what Gideon would have wanted… for you to be happy again. He loved you so much, he wouldn't have taken it if you never found happiness and love again, I'm sure." She explained in a soft voice.

"I think besides his watch, that ring is the only thing you have left of him, isn't it?" she asked, looking at me with tears in her eyes.

"Yes. But up until now I had the feeling that I didn't deserve this ring any longer." I stammered; my throat tight. She took my hand and placed the other on the red ring box.

"Oh, my love. I understand, you want to be ready for a new ring, don't you?" she said now with a slight grin and turned to Remus.

"When is it then?" she asked him directly, so that Remus' face was bathed in a strong pink. He cleared his throat loudly and almost choked on his soup.

"Oh, Molly, no! Remus is a friend but not my partner," I explained, grinning at Remus' obvious discomfort.

"Forgiveness. I had the impression that you are quite close.", she explained and looked at us with sparkling eyes. "But you know, if you want my blessings on your new relationship, then you're here for free Catherine," she said.

"Molly, what do you mean?" I stammered, raising my eyebrows even though I sensed she was right. I sought forgiveness from Gideon for loving Severus, for always having loved him.

"You don't need my blessing, you've had it since Gideon died. And I'm glad to know you were able to move on. A lot of people didn't succeed, so many broke because of these losses.", she stated quietly and I felt Remus tense up next to me, he felt addressed.

"Thanks, Molly. So was I. But I was lucky and an unexpected door opened. That's all." I said and gave Remus a friendly look, hoping that someday there would be a person that would make him happy too.

"Sometimes it takes a lack of courage to open them," he said quietly, looking at me with sad eyes.

"That's the good thing about not having to do it alone," I said, smiling and put my hand gently on his shoulder.

"This is true. Ever since Arthur came into my life, I've been surpassing myself every day. I never thought I'd have a bunch of kids and look how happy I am with that." She said laughing and got up to put more soup on our plates.