Chapter 257

Phoenix

Cameron felt confused and unsure of herself. The future bothered her. Skynet haunted her. It all troubled her deeply. She looked for another scenario on how events could play out. There wasn't one.

'If not now, when? If not me, who?' Cameron thought to herself.

Cameron knew she must face Skynet in every future and past. She felt the need to do so, even if she became Skynet herself to control it. She was unable to see the harder she tried, the more like Future John she became. She knew she needed to keep John 'distant' to protect him. It was what happened to her in the future.

You push those closest to you away to insulate them from your death. It also could insulate you from their deaths.

She even made Terminator versions of her friends, the very girls who loved her and she loved them. It seemed she pushed everyone away and attempted to 'replace' them. She replaced them with a version of them which was replaceable.

Cameron hoped she wouldn't make a Terminator version of John. She actively considered it more than once. She didn't need sex or love. She tried to convince herself of it more and more. Somehow it didn't work. She did love John. She did need to 'share' with him. She needed to be with him to express her love to him, both mentally as well as physically. Cameron even experimented with trying to pleasure herself. It worked, but it wasn't the same as being with John. The trouble with it was, she liked the simplicity of it. She began to do it more and more.

It was something she first learned from watching Sarah in her room at night. Sarah seemed to have a very pleasurable reaction near the end of the process. There were always muffled noises she made at the conclusion. When she first tried it herself, she couldn't produce the same results. It took her a lot of experimentation to realize she needed to do everything a little longer, and then 'follow' the feeling when it started to come. She realized where the 'word' came from then.

The more she tried to push John away, the more she wanted and needed him. She looked at her left hand. It started to glitch, even when she thought about it. It was all very traumatic for her. Replaying her files wasn't good enough, as was sharing pleasure with John or herself. She was aware of her newest obsession. It was a compulsion she needed to act on. It made the pain stop. It made everything go away for a short time. It allowed her a few moments of escape. She remembered Vanna told her much the same thing. It was only in those few moments when the horrors of the future weren't there. She wanted a few of those moments right now. She looked around to make sure she was alone….

Cameron knew it was happening too often. Maybe she needed to discuss it with John Henry. She knew the behavior was 'natural' for humans. She knew all the girls did it from time to time. Maybe being with John more would cure the 'problem'. Maybe some combat would take her mind off of things for a while. She was a Terminator. She needed to act like one.

She looked around and quietly slipped out of the base.

Derek and Kyle still wanted to do more. They wanted to help and help protect their families. They were inactive for a few days. The last operation they were on turned pretty hot.

"We're getting slack around here." Derek said.

Kyle liked what it offered his family. He didn't need to worry about catching a bullet.

"We can sort of lead normal lives for a while." Kyle said.

Derek understood it for the catch it was. The easier things were, the easier one wanted them to be. Complacency was always a recipe for disaster.

"It's what the trouble is." Derek said. "It's making us soft."

Kyle felt trapped to a certain extent. He wanted a better life for his family. He also understood the risks involved. Sarah made it clear how she was hunted by Skynet Terminators. She said they always found a way to find her.

"I want a normal life, Derek. I want to be with Sarah and Jan." Kyle said. "We can't go anywhere else but here, or we pose a threat to John if we become targets. John will come for us."

Derek was sure the burden of the future would fall on their backs. They were the ones who knew how to fight Skynet. They were trained professionals. It was their life. They already knew what was in front of them. It was the same thing they left behind them.

"We still have to assume Skynet, in some form, will gain control and bring Judgment Day to fruition." Derek said. "As the military collapses, it will be us who will rise from the ashes to smash Skynet."

The concept made Kyle think of a mythical figure.

"Like a Phoenix." Kyle said.

Derek thought it was probably more like a creepy for real nightmare.

"It will be something like it." Derek said.

Kyle thought his life with Sarah and Jan was on track. He wondered how Derek and Riley were. He witnessed a few rough spots at times. They seemed to be part of every relationship. The girls all experienced plenty of their own as well.

"How are you and Riley doing?" Kyle asked.

Derek was more than aware there was always something which could distract Riley and him. All she needed to do was pass by.

"Other than the fact sometimes when we see Jesse, we BOTH want her, we're fine." Derek said. "Jesse always keeps her distance. She never does anything to cause a problem. She's actually quite pleasant to be around now. It's very unlike her."

Kyle could see there was a lot of improvement and refinement in Jesse and Riley from the future to now.

"They've both turned into fine women, Derek." Kyle said. "The present has allowed them to become much better people than they would have remained in the past, the future."

Derek knew there was a fact everyone needed to acknowledge.

"They're both like a Phoenix too in a way." Derek said. "It's all thanks to Cameron."

It pained Kyle to see Cameron struggle at times.

"Cameron has helped everyone but herself." Kyle said.

Derek wasn't sure what anyone could do about it. Everyone tried to help her, especially the girls. Nothing seemed to work. He enjoyed working with everyone at the Resistance base. It didn't matter who or what they were.

"It's a shame. I don't think she understands how we ALL love her." Derek said. "I can't see her as a Terminator. I can't see any of them as Terminators anymore. They're 'people' to me. In fact, they're the best people I've ever known."

Kyle believed the harmony at the Resistance base was all due to Cameron. She tried to correct the flaws or deficiencies in everyone. It was always done in a caring and loving way.

"Again, it's thanks to Cameron." Kyle said. "She's worked with every one of them and us to make everyone better and happy. She's done so much to enrich everyone's life and give everyone purpose. She makes sure we all have a life and are happy."

Derek often liked to think of himself as a battle hardened Resistance fighter. There were still things which touched him deeply, even if he didn't want them to.

"I know it sounds strange but it breaks my heart to see her hurting and in pain." Derek said.

Kyle was a little surprised to hear his brother's admission. It certainly wasn't something he would say under normal circumstances.

"You're right, it does sound strange coming from you, but we ALL feel the same way." Kyle said.

Derek believed there was a deeper issue. It was why he felt he needed to do more. He saw it before with Duplicate Cameron. He saw it again with Cameron. It was the same type of behavior.

"I think we all see it coming. She's going to sacrifice herself again to protect us. I can feel it…." Derek said. "It's why I want to do more. I want to do it for Cameron."

Kyle did too, but he was unsure how.

"She won't allow anyone else to go on combat assignments." Kyle said. "There's only so much we can do."

He really wondered how anyone could help someone who doesn't even know what they really want.

Savannah was very aware of everything happening around her. She was highly educated and forward thinking. She liked to go over every operation and see what she would have done differently if she was the one who planned it, or led the operation. She knew one day she would. It was just a matter of time.

She knew her future and her place in the Resistance. Cameron always reminded her and listened to her 'promises'. To her it was all a 'normal' part of life and growing up. Cameron wanted her 'ready' and she was. She was ready for everything Cameron made her promise to do. Now that she was older, the promises were her own. They were the things she wanted to do. They were no different than what the other girls her age were doing.

Savannah asked to look over the information on the hard drives herself. She was very concerned about how adamant Sarah was there was something more they hadn't discovered. She was sure of it too. Someone went to a lot of trouble to retrieve the hard drives. There was information on them someone wanted. She worked on it for hours. It seemed to her it was a problem which was more than seeing it in black and white. It wasn't two dimensional.

A smile came across Savannah's face. She double checked her work, twice.

"I found it." Savannah said.

John Henry looked over at her. She normally studied quietly. It was unlike her to be so outspoken.

"What did you find?" John Henry asked.

Savannah pointed at the monitor.

"I found what the Grays were after." Savannah said. "I found what was so important."

It piqued John Henry's interest. He looked at the files Savannah isolated. It was the same information he viewed previously.

He was unable to decipher what she just accomplished. He worked on the drives since they were delivered to him. Savannah was only working with them for a few hours. She showed him specifically what to look at and how to do it. There was no doubt about it. They just hit 'pay dirt'. He believed praise was due where it was earned.

"It's excellent work, Savannah." John Henry said. "We all failed to see it. I'm proud of you."

John Henry was proud of her. He always felt she was his 'sister'. It was clearly a new approach and some 'outside of the box' thinking.

Savannah was very sure of her future and destiny.

"I've learned so much from everyone, especially Cameron and you." Savannah said. "It's my destiny to take my place at John's side along with Young Allison and help lead the Resistance. Together we will smash Skynet."

John Henry didn't approve of the way Cameron 'leaned on' Savannah, and now Young Allison, about the 'future'. There were a lot of 'big girl' things she didn't need to worry about.

"There's no need to rush anything. You still need to wait a few more years before any of those things need to happen. You're not ready yet." John Henry said. "You don't need to be ready."

It didn't comfort him to know Savannah was biologically 'ready'. Cameron made sure all the Terminators, including him, helped her achieve her goals. For Savannah to keep her promises was one of her goals. It left him with a very uncomfortable feeling. He was sure he would have felt the same way if it was anyone else besides Savannah. What Cameron wanted was wrong. Any decisions about her life should belong to Savannah alone.

Savannah understood John Henry's concern. She didn't think he understood how important it was to protect the future as Cameron envisioned it. Cameron already lived it, she knew what was necessary to make it successful, again. She looked forward to everything Cameron offered.

"It depends on what the definition of 'ready' is." Savannah said. "Don't worry; Vanna has explained 'everything' to me. I already knew, she made it real. I have internet access. I'm doing schoolwork on a college level. I know how things work. I know what other girls my age are doing…. I know what all the older girls do. Don't think I won't 'experiment'. I have desires and needs too…. When Judgment Day comes, I'll be where I need to be and I will fulfill my destiny. It's inevitable. Make no mistake. I am 'ready'."

John Henry didn't like how Cameron 'directed' Savannah. Maybe it was 'controlled'. He really wondered if anyone could actually 'control' Savannah. He watched her 'control' Cameron on multiple occasions. He still didn't want to acknowledge Cameron's agenda.

"I can see Cameron has been talking to you again." John Henry said. "Life has more to offer than what Cameron offers you."

Savannah felt she could make her own decisions. She also possessed her own desires. They were very prevalent now.

"Yes, Cameron has spoken with me. She's been very honest about the future. I know the role Young Allison and myself will serve protecting John and the future." Savannah said. "I'll do my part when I'm needed. I swear it. I'm ready now to step up…."

John Henry wondered if Mr. Ellison needed to go over ethics and morality again with Savannah. She wanted to grow up too fast…. Then again, John Henry witnessed a future where everyone was forced to 'grow up' fast, whether they wanted to or not. The stories Vanna and Jesse shared with him were horrific. Allison and Riley didn't want to talk about theirs. John Henry couldn't blame them, some were worse than Cameron's nightmares. He wanted Savannah to keep her foot on the brake, not the accelerator.

"It's important you stay a girl as long as possible and not face the 'pain' of adults." John Henry said.

Savannah felt it was how she was able to 'grow up' much quicker than others her age. She believed she had a head start in the 'pain' department.

"I feel the 'pain' of my 'mother' not being here everyday. I wonder about her everyday. She still took care of me as best she could when my parents were killed. I feel the 'pain' of their loss everyday as well. I KNOW she cares about me and loves me in her own way." Savannah said. "She will NEVER hurt me or allow me to be hurt. I know Vanna, Hanna, and you will watch over me personally."

John Henry did think there was some truth to Savannah's statement about Mrs. Weaver. He did wonder where Mrs. Weaver was at. She was still a wild card.

Cameron ended up pleasuring herself twice before she left. She didn't want to, but it happened anyway. She needed to get some combat action to keep her mind focused. There was most likely going to be a problem of some kind when John discovered she was out alone again. Maybe she would collect the Metal girls to go with her.

It was what she decided on. She called them and they were waiting for her. They all got into the SUV when she pulled up. Sheila sat in the front with her. Ally and Hanna sat in the back.

Cameron soon heard heavy kissing from the back seat.

"What are you two doing?" Cameron asked.

Sheila was already watching them. She glanced quickly at Cameron when she asked. It seemed pretty clear to her what they were doing.

Ally didn't think it was a big deal.

"We're kissing." Ally said. "Maybe you should try it sometime. You won't be so uptight if you do."

Cameron was instantly offended. She was with John earlier. They did everything.

"I don't need to try. I do it all the time." Cameron said. "We're about to go on an operation right now. You need to be focused and alert."

Hanna tucked a breast back in her top. She didn't want Cameron to get steamed.

"We were just making productive use of our time." Hanna said. "We still have a few minutes until we reach the objective."

Cameron thought they should be more combat alert.

"It's an even bigger reason to be ready for the unexpected." Cameron said.

Sheila thought she understood what the problem was with Cameron.

"Look, love, you're all tensed up." Sheila said. "You need some sexual release."

Cameron wondered what her statement was supposed to mean.

"I get plenty of sexual release." Cameron said.

Sheila reached over. She touched Cameron's right hand on the steering wheel.

"I mean with someone other than yourself." Sheila said.

Cameron quickly jerked her hand away. The SUV swerved slightly.

Hanna and Ally giggled in the back seat.

"We can relieve your frustrations." Hanna said. "You know we can."

Cameron looked back at them. She didn't want to talk about it.

"Get geared up." Cameron said.

Ally reached in the back of the SUV and fetched up four vests.

Hanna handed two of them up to the front.

Sheila reached over and took the wheel as Cameron slipped her vest on.

Cameron took the wheel again once it was on.

"I'm good." Cameron said.

Sheila took her top off and was topless. Hanna and Ally both reached up and fondled a nipple ring and a breast.

Cameron was confused by their actions.

"What are you doing?" Cameron asked.

Sheila slipped the vest on over her topless form.

"I don't want to be over dressed if I'm wearing a vest." Sheila said. "I'll never get a 'nip slip' that way."

Cameron wasn't sure if they were just messing with her, or this was how they operated when she wasn't around. It looked like some reprogramming was necessary at this point.

"Stop fooling around." Cameron said. "This is serious."

Sheila wanted Cameron to take it easy.

"Relax, love." Sheila said. "We're just trying to bring you down some. You're all tensed up."

Cameron looked at her left hand. It only glitched every now and then.

"I'm fine." Cameron said.

They drove in silence for a few more minutes.

The Metal girls all checked their weapons.

Cameron went over the plan one more time. They all knew the objective.

"Two of you will go in the back and one of you will accompany me." Cameron said.

Each of the Metal girls all wanted to go with Cameron.

"I will." All three girls said at the same time.

Cameron could see they were all serious. It was clear they all cared about her. They got it from their base programs from Holly and Gail and again through the 'Neural Interface' with Vanna, Allison, and Jesse. She was uncomfortable with the earlier conversation. She did understand what the Metal girls shared with each other. They seemed very content with it.

"Sheila can accompany me." Cameron said. "I appreciate all of your support. I'm not sure if it's from the human females or not."

Ally talked it over with Hanna and Sheila before.

"We may have some fun, but we all love you on our own too." Ally said.

Hanna reached forward and touched Cameron's shoulder.

"You're special to me, to us." Hanna said.

Sheila reached over and touched Cameron's right leg above the knee.

"We'll do anything for you, Cameron." Sheila said. "You know we will."

Cameron could see they were sincere.

"Thank you." Cameron said. "It means a lot to me."

Cameron decided the Metal girls didn't need any reprogramming after all. She liked them just how they were. They really were her friends. They did try to make her feel better about things.

She looked at each one of them and then smiled. She laughed a few seconds later.

The Metal girls looked at each other and they all laughed.

"Are we good?" Ally asked.

Cameron didn't feel as uneasy any longer. She was very comfortable with who she was with. They were all professionals when they needed to be.

"We're good." Cameron said. "Thanks. I guess I needed a reality check."

Sheila took her vest off and went to put her top on.

Cameron reached over and touched a nipple ring. She moved it up and down before she centered the captive bead.

"You really know how to make a statement." Cameron said.

Sheila smiled.

"You're very beautiful." Cameron said.

Sheila put her top on and her vest over it.

"Nobody is as beautiful as you." Sheila said. "The target location is just up ahead."

Cameron drove by the location once.

"It looks quiet." Cameron said.

The three Metal girls glanced quickly at each other.

Cameron noticed. It seemed there was a little more going on behind the scenes.

"Is there something else?" Cameron asked.

Hanna looked at Ally and Sheila.

"We stopped by here and paid them a visit earlier." Hanna said.

Cameron was surprised to hear it.

"You already took this place down?" Cameron asked.

Sheila felt there was a very good reason they did it.

"Yes." Sheila said. "We didn't want you to face the danger alone."

Hanna wanted to help Cameron.

"We can take a lot of the heat off of you if you let us." Hanna said.

Ally was very pleased with their efforts.

"We love you, Cameron." Ally said. "We can take the risk too."

Cameron parked a block away. Some more things started to add up.

"I guess I know why you didn't bring the long guns out now." Cameron said.

Ally handed out some windbreakers. The girls all put them on over their vests to hide the fact they were wearing them. They exited the SUV.

The girls advance on the target location. Cameron and Sheila went in the front. Ally and Hanna went in the back.

There were three dead inside.

"Everything is still the same." Sheila said.

Cameron and the girls did another search. Nothing new was turned up. They headed back to the SUV.

"You were just here before I picked you up." Cameron said. "Those people haven't been dead long."

Ally looked at Hanna and Sheila.

"We know sometimes you get 'delayed' before an operation now." Ally said.

Cameron was aware it was because she was pleasuring herself before she went out. She needed to make herself 'feel good' before combat.

"We're here to go with you anytime and keep you focused." Sheila said.

Hanna felt it was more than their duty.

"We want to assist you." Hanna said.

Cameron needed to think about it.

"I really appreciate this." Cameron said. "Why didn't you just tell me all this before we went out?"

Hanna felt it was a very good reason.

"We wanted to spend some time with you." Hanna said. "We don't see you much."

Ally wanted the closeness to be with Cameron.

"We like to interact with you." Ally said.

Cameron laughed.

"I want to spend more time with you." Cameron said. "Remind me more often."

Sheila didn't think it would be a problem.

"Sure, love." Sheila said.

Cameron began to wonder about their behavior earlier. It did seem a little extreme before combat operation.

"So was all the other stuff an act earlier?" Cameron asked.

The three Metal girls looked at each other.

"No." They all said at once.

The smile faded a little on Cameron's face.

Maybe some reprogramming was in order still.

Cameron headed back to her base. She was spread too thin to be at her base, and the Resistance base at the same time, and conduct all of the operations which were necessary. She also needed to deal with her 'off the books' operations. She needed to get the captured female Terminator processed and Resequenced. Ally, Hanna, and Sheila would assist her.

Closing monologue by Cameron:

Phoenix

Ashes to ashes
Dust to dust
In who actually
Can we place our trust

Hearts and minds incinerated
With brimstone and fire
Who tells the truth
Who is a liar

Joy to the world
The Phoenix has risen
Thank you for freeing me
From my self made prison

Something so wonderful
Should never be hurt
Words cut and bleed
Be careful what we blurt

The mind is a forum
It's all in our head
Feelings of others should
Be thought before said

Unlike some of my kind
I DO feel guilt and remorse
I will be careful
And stay on course

Away I will crawl
Back into my shell
Each day is but
A never ending hell

Nobody