Chapter 264

How Long

Derek, Kyle and Jim conducted a series of recons. They turned most of them into 'hits' and taken down the targets. It was really a form of veiled combat operations. It wasn't always reconnaissance or surveillance.

They actually expected Cameron or John to put an end to it. For some reason they hadn't. It was fine with them. They liked being out in the field and the targets were mostly soft targets. It wasn't always the case. They ran into some trouble on the last one. Jim took a few rounds which were meant for one of them.

Cameron was aware of what was going on. She sent Dan and Frank to shadow them. They would establish a sniping position if possible to back them up, or cover their advances and withdrawals. She knew John always wanted to be out in the field, and so did the Reese brothers. The more she allowed Derek and Kyle to do, the less John could do, or complain about not doing.

Kyle was a little worried about Jim.

"I'm really sorry about the last place, Jim." Kyle said.

It was a sobering reminder about how things could go wrong, fast.

Jim didn't consider it a problem. They accomplished the task they set out to do.

"I'm one hundred percent functional." Jim said. "The vest stopped most of the rounds."

Derek looked Jim over.

"Maybe it did, but a few found their mark." Derek said.

Jim watched Derek kill the man responsible for shooting at him.

"You terminated the Gray." Jim said. "The problem was solved."

Both Derek and Kyle doubted it would be once they returned back to the base. There was sure to be an issue.

Jim drove the SUV. They needed to dump the original one they started out in. It received a few stray rounds at another location. They didn't want any unnecessary attention. John Henry did a good job of keeping all local law enforcement personnel away from anywhere they operated, and suppressed all 911 traffic in regards to anything they did.

They were in San Bernardino County now. It was a very big place. It was bigger than half a dozen European countries in size, and half the size of half a dozen more. It only seemed to accentuate the size of San Bernardino County, and how small most European countries actually were in reality. It was mostly rural desert terrain. On the back roads, one could drive for hours and never even see another vehicle. There were a lot of mountains, hills, and rocks. In some places it looked like the surface of Mars.

It was where they were now.

"I'm glad I used the restroom in Barstow." Derek said.

Kyle thought of the atmospheric conditions in the vehicle prior to their arrival in Barstow.

"I'm glad you did too." Kyle said. "The way you kept cutting them was enough to gag a maggot."

Derek didn't think it was his fault. He didn't know they'd actually get a few recons the next day.

Jim didn't see any of it as a problem.

"Flatulence is a normal human process." Jim said. "We hear it all the time."

Derek didn't want to hear any details.

"TMI." Derek said.

Kyle felt Terminators possessed another advantage over humans in some regards.

"You're lucky." Kyle said. "You can turn off your hearing and olfactory systems. I can't."

They pulled off a paved county road and onto a dirt road.

Derek looked behind them as they drove. They kicked up a cloud of dust now. It hung in the air behind them as it followed them.

"If anyone is around where we're headed, they're going to see us coming from several miles away." Derek said.

Jim thought about the current lighting conditions. It was his goal to keep the Reese brothers as safe and comfortable as possible.

"I didn't think you would want to hike in on foot in the darkness." Jim said.

Kyle didn't want to give up the element of surprise. He thought of a plausible excuse.

"We've been in the car for hours." Kyle said. "A little walk would do us good."

Jim verified their current location. The walk would be considerable and take a lot of time.

"It's sixteen miles." Jim said.

Derek knew it was a long hike. He thought it would be better to get closer.

"A little dust cloud is OK." Derek said. "You can always go a little slower."

They drove for twenty more minutes.

Jim stopped the SUV. He verified their position based on GPS.

"The target should be right over the ridge." Jim said.

They geared up and headed there on foot.

They reached an observation point where they could look down on the target fifteen minutes later.

There were big piles of dirt around an opening in the side of a mountain. They appeared to be tailings from the excavation and ore removal from inside the opening.

"I take it we're looking at an old mine." Derek said. "We passed dozens of them on the way here. What's different about this one?"

Kyle looked over the area with a small pair of binoculars. He noticed one thing.

"Derek, you'd better take a look at this." Kyle said.

Derek did. He noted there were figures on the ground. Several of them were in awkward positions. None of them moved. They were bloody and looked dead.

"What do we have here?" Derek asked.

Jim knew they needed a closer look.

"It's what we're here to determine." Jim said. "Skynet likes to hide underground and mines make the perfect place. There are already excavated with multiple shafts and tunnels. The majority of work is done for Skynet before it arrives. It saves them time and attracts less attention."

They moved cautiously down the hill through a gully.

Kyle noted the sides of the gully were sometimes ten feet in height. It indicated a high volume of water at times. It was often the way of desert areas. Rain wasn't often, but when it came it was usually in torrents. It could rain ten miles away, the water could travel to another location where it hadn't rained in a matter of minutes. People could get caught up in a flash flood very quickly. It wasn't just water to swim in. The water was full of debris and even rocks. They would pummel someone's body causing great injury as the debris laden slurry overtook them. The location seemed very remote to him.

"How was this place located?" Kyle asked.

Jim felt the information arrived rather indirectly. It was all part of the continuous information gathering process of the Resistance. Things which appeared out of the ordinary needed to be investigated.

"John Henry found some images from a Chinese spy satellite." Jim said. "It passed over the location yesterday."

Derek was a little surprised. China was far away. The location they were in was extremely remote. The mine they were near was long abandoned.

"What are the Chinese looking for out here?" Derek asked.

Jim knew the process was actually a little more involved.

"John Henry takes control of all satellites as they pass over land. He searches for anything they can pick up which stands out as different." Jim said. "What he found here was something different."

Derek thought about the dead men.

"So he picked up the stiffs?" Derek asked.

Jim felt it was a little more serious. It was one reason why they needed to use extreme caution.

"No." Jim said. "They were alive at the time. There were several Jeeps as well."

Kyle became a little more alarmed. He didn't feel he was as careful as he could be. He didn't know the deaths were so recent.

"Who killed them?" Kyle asked.

Jim carefully scanned the surrounding area.

"It's what we're here to ascertain." Jim said.

They went down and checked the area. Coyotes looked like they gnawed on several of the men during the night.

They inspected the area and into the mine opening itself. It was collapsed a hundred feet in. It looked like a very recent cave-in. They reached a dead end. There was no reason to remain in the mine.

"The mine is unsafe. The timbers are rotted." Jim said. "We're going to withdraw."

They were unable to determine who the men were, or what they did there. Evidence they viewed appeared someone came there and killed them, then blew the mine closed.

Jim figured the dead men were Grays. It was most likely they attempted to secure a remote spot to do work for Skynet. They were probably tailed to the location. He was sure what they just viewed was the work of the anti-Metal faction. They were a threat to Skynet and the Resistance. They were a threat to them.

"This didn't pan out into anything of value." Jim said. "We're going back to the base."

Derek and Kyle were inside abandoned mines before. There were literally hundreds of them in California alone. Most of them were in very poor condition.

"There are often ventilation shafts associated with some of the mines." Derek said. "Have John Henry check the satellite images and see if he can spot one. We might be able to find another way in."

Kyle was aware there were often more than ventilation shafts.

"There could even be more than one entrance." Kyle said.

Jim was very concerned about their safety. It's possible any other entrance may be booby trapped. Whoever attacked the group there would know the same things. It was unknown if they were being watched or surveilled by anyone else currently. There was a good chance they were. It didn't appear there was any more information to be gleaned where they were currently at. There were no signs of heavy truck traffic on the ground. There were only tire tracks from small vehicles. There weren't very many of those either.

"Our job here is done." Jim said. "Everything was removed from the bodies. There's no intel for us to gather. It's time to withdraw."

Kyle and Derek were sure there was more in play where they were at. It didn't look like Jim was going to spill it.

They made their way carefully back to their vehicle.

"Let me check everything over first." Jim said. "We don't know the whereabouts of the attackers."

Jim thoroughly inspected the area around the vehicle, as well as the vehicle itself before they entered it.

Derek could feel and hear some gurgling noises from his stomach area.

"Can we stop in Barstow again?" Derek asked.

Kyle wanted to be near a window which he could open and receive a lot of fresh air.

"That's it." Kyle said. "You're riding in the back."

Cameron was very worried about Vanna and Allison. It was TRUE love and she somehow ruined it. She knew how much they loved each other. Now it was her fault the relationship seemed to have evaporated. She 'pulled' Jesse and Derek apart to get Riley 'out of the way'. Maybe she should just have let John 'have' Riley when the current version of her showed up. John would have been happy. Riley was a nice girl. It was a relationship which would have developed on its own without outside manipulation. She wondered if she should try to get Jesse and Derek back together to free Riley up for John. Now she was planning people's lives for them again. It just happened in an instant in her mind. It was how all her thoughts were.

She was unsure of all her decisions and actions. Was she the 'Bitch' everyone thought she was? It troubled her. Why did they all love her? She couldn't understand it. They should all hate her. It seemed the more she did to MAKE them hate her, the more they LOVED her instead. Maybe they all understood she was trying to HELP. It just seemed so many things didn't work out as planned. Things that were clear cut and logical to her didn't seem the same way to others. It made no sense to her.

Cameron thought about what Vanna told her. Was she drifting too far away from John? She didn't want to. At times it seemed they didn't have anything in common. How could they? She was a Terminator, a machine. John was human. He was real, she wasn't. It was two different worlds. She was a mechanical device masquerading as a human female. She would never be a human female. She would always be a machine.

The more Cameron thought about it, the more it made her hate herself. Why couldn't she have been allowed to stay in the future? It's where she belonged and wanted to be. She seemed to have everything she wanted there. Now what did she have? It seemed it was a nightmare she created. How many lives did she alter? How many relationships did she destroy? Why couldn't any of these people understand? She NEEDED to protect John and the future. It was what she tried to do. It was her function. She wanted to share with John now to show him she loved him.

Cameron walked up to John and kissed him.

John was pleasantly surprised. He thought it was different. He wondered what was up.

"Hey, good looking." John said. "Is there anything I should know about?"

Cameron felt a little offended. Did John only think she came around when she wanted something?

"Did you ask me because I kissed you?" Cameron asked.

John was a little displeased with everything going on. He felt it was a fair question. He doubted he would receive a straight answer. He figured he might as well tell it like it was. At least it was the way he saw it.

"Yes." John said. "I don't see you often. I don't even know if it is really you, or Ally playing you, or some other copy of you I don't know about."

Cameron was already on her way to being angry. She disregarded most of John's statement because it irritated her. It was the last part which made her angrier. John once again disrespected her program. When he disrespected her program, he disrespected her.

"If it was a copy of me, it WOULD be ME." Cameron said. "We would be identical."

John rolled his eyes but kept his mouth closed. He went over the issue multiple times with Cameron before. They both saw things differently.

Cameron saw what John did with his eyes. It upset her even more. She couldn't understand why John couldn't comprehend her program was her. It wasn't her sheath or chassis. They were interchangeable. Now she needed to worry about Ally. She wondered if there was some 'hanky panky' which went on she didn't know about. She remembered the interaction with John and Ally at the last location they visited where they recovered the Nike warheads. She caught Ally hitting on John. She heard what Ally said to him.

"I hope Ally hasn't played any 'games' when I'm out. I wouldn't put it past her. I can switch chips with her if you would like to compare our chassis 'performance'. Her chassis hasn't been touched by a male…." Cameron said. "You know I want you to be with the 'real girls', John."

John clenched his jaw tightly.

'Here we go again.' John thought.

"I know you say you do, but I don't believe you really do." John said. "How far have you thought any of this through? What about you? What happens to you affects me. I don't want to see you hurt either physically or emotionally. Those are the feelings a 'real person' has for someone they care about. I care about you. I care what happens to you. I worry about what will affect you negatively."

John saw how Cameron would start to glitch when she was trying to push the girls on him. Cameron may 'believe' it's what she wanted for him. He saw it differently. She was still trying to do what Future John must have programmed her to do.

Cameron was unsure why John couldn't comprehend what was needed for the future. There was so much which revolved around him and his survival.

"John, it's something which must be done for the future. The sooner you get started and accept them, the sooner I'll be able to adapt to it." Cameron said. "I'll allow each of them two nights a week with you, and only one for myself."

John smiled to himself. He wondered how Cameron, how anyone, could say it about the person they loved. It would kill him if the roles were reversed. He felt he needed to point out a few things. Not only were they important to him, they would be important to other people as well.

"What better deal could a guy ask for?" John asked. "Did you ever consider the other people's feelings? If people are 'together', they're going to develop feelings and become possessive. It will lead to conflict. Love and hate will build, jealousy will follow."

Cameron believed Judgment Day would change everything. It was what she witnessed in her future, and the other future she visited. Females would be at a strict disadvantage going forward.

"The nature of the future will allow for many things to be shared." Cameron said. "Females not under 'protective custody' will face many hardships."

John was unsure how many times he'd heard the same story. It was probably in the thousands by now. He thought all of it was a deflection off of the real issue.

"So we saw." John said. "Now, why are you really here?"

John's statement offended Cameron even more. She really didn't care for John's current disposition.

"I'm here to catch up with you." Cameron said. "I've been busy and I don't want you to feel neglected."

John pointed out she provided him with others so she wasn't really necessary.

"Jesse and Vanna are here." John said. "Isn't it what you want?"

Cameron didn't like John's negative attitude. She decided to tell him the truth, but not why.

"If you want the truth, I want it to be Allison." Cameron said.

John believed he could work through some of Cameron's thought process. He'd been around her long enough. Then again, he really didn't know her at all.

"I know." John said. "It's because she's the most like you. You don't think I'll wander too far. You believe your bodies are identical. You think you can 'take' me back easier if it's Allison. Vanna and Jesse are different. You think may lose me to them. You're worried I may find something I like better."

It was what Cameron thought. The female attributes were different on both Jesse and Vanna from Allison, or her. She believed Vanna's would be the most desirable and Jesse's would be the most intriguing. She did think it would be harder to get John away from Vanna or Jesse once a relationship started. He was already with her thousands of times. There would be nothing 'new' to see on Allison. It would simply be more of the same.

"I've run the calculations." Cameron said. "You are correct."

Everything still seemed like a lot of deflection to John. He wanted to know what the real issue was.

"Why are you really here?" John asked again.

Cameron felt frustrated at this point. She didn't want to be confronted or be confrontational.

"I don't know. I don't want to drift too far away from you." Cameron said. "We can't have a normal life. I want to try to do what I can, when I can."

John wanted to salvage the relationship. He loved Cameron and he was sure she loved him. It was difficult because of the circumstances they were in. The future which weighed on them. He thought he came up with a solution.

"Cameron, if we get the TDE working into the past again, would you go back in time with me fifty or a hundred years to live a normal life?" John asked. "It could be a new beginning for us."

Cameron wondered about this same thing many times. In most of the scenarios, she often sent John back without her to protect him from 'everything', including herself.

"Do you just mean the two of us?" Cameron asked.

It seemed pretty simple and straight forward to John. The fewer people there were, the less complicated it would be.

"Yes." John said.

Since she was a machine and unable to produce human offspring, there was a major problem. She already knew what he wanted.

"I still would be unable to provide you with children." Cameron said. "I know you would like to be a father. I know you want your own offspring. You've told me so. I'm trying to help you. I'm trying to provide for you with what you want."

John looked at Cameron for a minute and ran over many of their conversations together. He was sure he never mentioned what she just said.

"I never said that." John said.

Cameron looked at him with a faint smile.

"No, not yet, but you do, you will." Cameron said. "We've spent many days discussing everything."

John was irritated to hear it. It wasn't him. He hated when Cameron equated him to his future self. The more he knew about Future John, the more he hated him. Maybe it was the point. Maybe it was how Cameron prevented him from becoming 'Future John'. If it was, she was off to a good start.

"It wasn't me, Cameron." John said. "It was Future John."

Cameron didn't see there was a real difference.

"You are him." Cameron said. "You will be."

At this point, along with everything he knew, he really hoped not.

"It is something I seriously doubt." John said. "If one of the girls was to have my baby, and give it to you, would you go back in time as just the three of us?"

Cameron thought it would be acceptable.

"Yes." Cameron said. "I love you, and you love me."

John doubted Cameron was serious.

"After I'm dead, what will happen then?" John asked.

Cameron didn't say anything at first. She just looked at John and wondered where it all went wrong. She came to him to share with him now, not fight with him.

"John, I don't want to talk about this." Cameron said. "I came here to see you, and be with you. Can't we just have our lives here and now?"

John could see Cameron was serious. Now he felt foolish. He pushed things the wrong way when he didn't need to. If he wanted to score some type of verbal victory, he didn't think he did.

"I'm sorry, Cameron." John said. "I didn't mean to seem like a jerk."

Cameron gave him a faint smile. She'd already calculated every possibility.

"I know, John. It's alright." Cameron said. "I've run every scenario you can think of millions of times. I worry about all of this and EVERYTHING. I'm trying as best as I can. I am. This is where we are at now."

John knew it could change and change fast.

"For how long will it be?" John asked.

Cameron didn't know. There were too many variables to make an accurate calculation.

"I wish I could give you the answer." Cameron said. "I really do. I can't."

John would like some foresight if it were possible.

"I wish you could too…." John said.

Cameron led John away to their room.

She knew the more she did this, the more John would never let her go. She couldn't help it. She wanted it too. She wanted to be with him. She wanted him to touch her. She wanted him to want her.

Cameron stopped outside the doorway.

"Well?" Cameron asked.

John picked up what she wanted.

"Do you want me to carry you over the threshold again?" John asked.

Cameron smiled and her face lit up.

"I want our wedding night again." Cameron said.

Cameron replayed their wedding night over and over. It was never as good on a rerun. She liked to have John actually do it, as if it was their 'first time'. She always created a new file so it really was like her 'first time' to her. She would revert to her regular programming after the first round. She wondered how many times it was her 'first time'…. It was a lot. She hoped there would be a lot more. She worried she liked to recreate her 'first time' over and over because she didn't really know when her 'first time' actually was, or with who. There were no files to answer her questions.

'Wild Thing' by 'The Troggs', played as John slowly stripped Cameron.

Closing monologue by Cameron:

Amend

I'm not like the others
I never tried to pretend
Everything I said was true
Never to hurt you did I intend

I wanted to share
I wanted a friend
I wanted to be loved
I never wanted to offend

You said I was different
My true self I did extend
Love is more than physical
To your heart I did ascend

Whenever you needed help
On me you could depend
I never took advantage
Your honor I did defend

I believe in you
Your inner beauty to commend
I'm HURT but still here
Never to demean or condescend

Nobody