Chapter 270

Surprise

Everything was quiet and calm at the location where Cameron left in the energy bubble just seconds ago.

The arcing and flashing started.

The energy bubble quickly appeared with Cameron in it.

The arcing and flashing ended.

Cameron was back.

She stood there naked and looked around. Everything was quiet and calm. She returned back to the location and point in time moments after she just left. She went to the nearby rocks where she left her clothes. There was an insect there she saw nearby. It was only about two inches two away from where it was when she left. She moved a few rocks, picked her clothes up and put them back on. She didn't disturb the insect. She didn't see any need to change anything in the current timeline since she apparently was only out of it for a few seconds.

The 'trip' hadn't been what Cameron expected or wanted. The fact she was able to save the Duplicate girls made it worth it. John's baby was alive in Allison. John would have a decedent in a few hundred years. Well, in a half of a millennium anyway.

She hoped River would have accepted her as her mate. She really thought it would happen. It wasn't to be, at least not with her. She feared rejection is what would happen. It did. She still wanted to be in River's future. Her chance 'to get away from it all' didn't pan out as she anticipated. There were still a few options in play.

Maybe Duplicate Cameron could take her place in 1999, and she could live a lifetime with River herself. No, her fate was to live with John. Now, she felt very let down. At least she tried it. If she hadn't, it would have been another thing to forever haunt her and torment her by not knowing. River loved Duplicate Cameron, end of story, or was it? River was the prize Cameron still wanted.

Cameron saw how the girls responded to her. The Duplicate girls responded the same way. She thought it was ironic. It seemed everyone wanted her, except the person she wanted. It was how life seemed to work. Nobody was on the same page at the same time as life passed them by. At some point when it's too late, they wonder what happened and why.

She searched for some way to salvage things or fix it somehow. There didn't seem to be a way. She felt trapped. She was trapped in her own life with no escape. She wasn't shackled or in a cage, but she was trapped just the same.

Cameron thought maybe she shouldn't have told River how to help her rescue the Duplicates. No, River would have known. She wouldn't have been able to hide it from her. She didn't want to start out lying to River. The plan might not have worked. She decided John's baby being saved and alive inside Allison was worth her sacrifice of not being able to stay with River. She knew she did the right thing. Then again, it was only because River 'encouraged' her to do so. Would she have done it on her own? She really didn't know. It seemed doubtful. People just didn't understand how things needed to be done.

There were a million thoughts shooting around in her mind. There was no direction she could go other than to go back to what she 'left'. How could she face everyone again with the knowledge she turned her back on all of them? They all knew she was leaving. It was everyone except Savannah. Savannah told her she would be back and she would see her soon. Savannah NEVER gave up on her. Maybe it was why she was back. Maybe her future, 'a future', was always in front of her and she didn't see it. The 'Chosen One' BELIEVED in her. It must mean something. It did mean something. It meant something to her.

Cameron checked the surveillance equipment there. Everything was still looped. It would all revert back to standard operation in a few minutes. She wanted everything to return to normal after her departure. She believed her departure would have been permanent. It wasn't. It was only a matter of seconds where she was now. It was time to go.

She sent Steve and Ed to investigate an unknown vehicle earlier. It was the car she arrived in. Now she would need to walk to the small town she stole it from and retrieve the car she drove from the base in. It was only about ten miles away. It wouldn't take her long to get there.

Cameron would have some time to think at this point. Several ideas popped up in her head. She didn't want to go there yet. Instead she looked around at the countryside as she walked. She wondered why she was walking. It would just delay her arrival back at the base. She picked up the pace.

She tried to think of her girls, Savannah and Young Allison. They were the future. They were her future. Were they though? Maybe as a goal it would help motivate and guide her. Maybe it would make her see she was redundant and unnecessary. She picked up the pace again into a fast run. Who was she fooling?

Cameron reached the small town and retrieved her other vehicle. It didn't appear she was observed by anyone. She made her way back towards the Valley.

She still wasn't sure why River chose the location she did to do the test with her TDE. River now had the coordinates of the TDE pad at her base. She would need to have Sheila incorporate all the new specifications she received from River and her improved TDE. The fact it could reliably send, as well as receive was now a big plus. Now anyone could be sent to a distant time in either the future or the past and be retrieved in the same manner they were sent. It would allow them to operate in time periods where technology didn't exist in the past.

Cameron couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to go back to the time of the Romans. She could imagine herself as a female Gladiator. She would be able to defeat anyone they sent against her, even if it was a group. She wouldn't have much more trouble with a tiger or a lion either. The animals were powerful, but she was more powerful and much more intelligent. She knew how to kill a human or an animal almost instantly if the situation arose.

She was pretty sure the further back in time she went, the more she would be seen as some type of Goddess. There would be statues in her honor. She would be known throughout the land as well as time. Savannah always said she was invincible and eternal. She would make sure the mortals understood it as well.

Cameron blinked her eyes several times. She found herself near the location of the animal research facility she destroyed. She didn't remember much about her journey there. She looked over the location and saw it was totally destroyed and completely inactive. At least now she had an excuse as to where she was in case anyone asked. Someone needed to conduct the Resistance business. Wasn't it usually her anyway?

She drove back to the base. She really didn't want to return. There was no other alternative. She thought of another plan but was unsure if she wanted to enact it. It was the mission to 'nowhere'. Maybe it was the way. It was the one sure way to get away from it all.

Now it really started to 'eat' at her. River rejected HER. It really was what she feared. She loved River. NO. She needed to tell herself it was Duplicate Cameron who did, not her. She was lost somewhere in time when it all happened. It was all very confusing.

Cameron tried to firewall her feelings for River, it was very difficult. No. She decided the love for River was worth the pain of rejection. It was the same choice she made for John, BOTH of them.

Great, now she thought about John. Both of them caused her a lot of pain and grief. They both rejected her too. Why did the people she loved do it to her? She knew Savannah would never reject her.

There was something River said which bothered her. It was something she heard Savannah indicate as well. River told her Savannah would die for her, or with her so she wouldn't need to terminate alone. Savannah told her she would never abandon her. She didn't want Savannah to die for her or with her if she didn't need to.

She couldn't imagine the circumstances where Savannah would choose to remain with her rather than save herself if she could. Would somebody really go so far for her? She thought about Savannah's commitment and belief in her. She realized Savannah would. Maybe it was just another reminder for her to think about her actions before anything became too extreme. It might not just be herself who she put in jeopardy. It was a sobering thought.

Now it was back to the base. It wasn't where she wanted to go. She knew it would be necessary. Somehow it was always necessary. John would probably mock her for her failure. Maybe he would rub Future Riley in her face again as he took a victory lap. He didn't win. It was she who 'lost'. There was a difference there.

What was she to do next? She returned back to the base and hoped no one missed her. Maybe she would pretend like she was never gone. She thought about her earlier adventure on the way home. She could simply tell anyone who asked she wanted to check on any future Gray or potential Skynet activity before she left. She gave herself an excuse anyway. Maybe she could say she determined the risk to John and the future was too great for her to leave. They were all aware the energy bubble was an unknown. Maybe she could tell them she determined it was too big of a risk.

She would tell them if it was really River, it was most likely River would actually come herself. It would give them all something to think about anyway.

Cameron stripped her clothes off and returned back to John's bed. It wasn't where she really wanted to be. She thought she already did so for the last time. She didn't believe it would ever happen again with a male. She was ready for her life to take a new turn and provide her with something different and what she believed she truly desired. From her observations, she believed the love of the girls for each other was stronger than any other type of love she witnessed.

She was there now. She was back in the base. She was back in John's room. She was back in John's bed. She watched him sleep and listened to him snore for a short time. She wondered what her true value was to him. She was pretty sure it was mainly for one thing. It was for his sexual gratification. Maybe she was nothing more than a mechanical silicone love doll. Maybe she should take solace in the fact she could provide some purpose to someone, even if the purpose seemed rather degrading to her.

No. John was her husband. She loved John and he loved her. She knew it was true. She told herself it was true. She almost believed it now. Well, most of the time anyway. She wanted to have some type of worth or value. She didn't care what it was. She wanted to be wanted.

She decided to wake him up. She would do the only thing John cared about her for. She would be on her knees in front of him. It would offer John two choices. There was a seventy nine percent chance he would make the improper choice, again. She would allow him to do as he wanted, like she always did.

John was asleep when his slumber was disturbed. It took him a moment to open his eyes and focus on everything. He was awake now. He looked over and saw Cameron was there. He tried to remain indifferent. He was very displeased with what Cameron planned.

"I'm surprised to see you're still here." John said.

His comment irritated Cameron a lot after what just happened to her. What was his statement supposed to mean? Maybe it indicated how predictable she was. Was she nothing more than a creature of habit? It indicated how far she slipped from what she was constructed for. She wasn't the same individual she was when she was built. She would like to go back to what she once was and start over. Maybe if she only worked for Skynet, she wouldn't have all of the same feelings and problems as she did now. John's statement still bothered her.

"Why?" Cameron asked.

John was used to the way Cameron did things. Everything was always done the way she wanted it done. She always persisted until she got her way, no matter how long or convoluted the process was. There were a few things he wanted to say.

"I thought you would try to slip out early and not say bye to everyone." John said. "It's sort of how you roll…."

Cameron felt John always found a way to insult her. It didn't matter if his statement was true or not. She didn't need to hear it. She didn't need to have her shortcomings pointed out by the one who was supposed to love her. It was clear he never thought about her or her feelings or what her needs were.

"What a vote of confidence." Cameron said. "What's the point of making everyone sad or cry for what's inevitable? Do you think it's easy on me? I have feelings too, you know."

John didn't think it was a problem for Cameron. She was a machine after all.

"Not everyone can turn their emotions or feelings off." John said.

Cameron didn't bother to tell him she couldn't turn her feelings or emotions off. She tried. It didn't work. She felt pain too. None of them could understand the pain she felt and how intense she felt it, endlessly. It wasn't physical pain either. Now she was going to have even more pain. The torment she faced would be even worse now.

"I can't help who or what I am." Cameron said. "I feel and experience more than you think."

John thought about more than a few things when he was asleep.

"I don't think you're coming back this time." John said and paused for a few seconds. "Cameron, I'm going to ask Allison to marry me."

Cameron froze. John was unaware she already completed her mission and saved the Duplicate girls and 'herself'. She knew John's decision was based on the fact he thought she was leaving later. He didn't know she'd come and gone and there was no place for her in River's future. What John said he was going to do with Allison, is what she wanted for him. She wanted him to be with a real woman. She wanted it to be Allison. She didn't think she would be there when it happened.

She was crushed. She already decided to stay with John. Duplicate Cameron would stay in River's future. Now John was ready to do what she wanted since she'd been pushing Allison on John. Did it really have to happen now? What was she going to do? What about her? It appeared as if all of her bridges were burnt.

"Cameron? Cameron…?" John asked.

John snapped his fingers several times in front of Cameron's face.

'Snap' - 'Snap' - 'Snap'

Cameron seemed unable to speak at first. She found what John did to be very irritating. It seemed he could always find a new way to insult her. She needed to collect herself some.

"I think it's wonderful news…." Cameron said. "Congratulations…."

John smiled. He was worried Cameron would flip out or go berserk. He felt she should know what his plans would be after she left. It seemed fair to him to be honest and open. He should be able to be happy and have comfort too. He didn't plan to go on again for years without a clue as to what would happen, or if she would return. He did it enough times already. He thought it was only fair to him. He wanted her to understand.

"I haven't asked Allison yet. I wanted to wait until I knew you weren't coming back first." John said. "I can't wait for months or years again, Cameron, especially not knowing and even thinking you were 'dead'. I can't do it anymore. Nobody should be put through the same type pain of not knowing about the one they love and what their future is going to be. I need more than speculation and uncertainty for a relationship."

All John's statement did was make Cameron feel worse. How could she argue the point? It was all true. She did put him through a lot. She understood she put everyone through a lot. They all seemed to care about her for some unknown reason. Why would anyone care about a 'walking pile of junk' or 'scrap metal'?

John wondered if Cameron even heard him. He really wanted her to know and understand his position. He continued.

"I don't think you understand how much you've hurt me, by waiting and not knowing, or grieving for you." John said. "I can't keep being treated the same way. I know I hurt you when I chose Future Riley over you, please stop punishing me for it. I'm sorry. I really am."

Cameron was a little miffed. John made it sound like she did all those things on purpose, just to hurt him. She needed to get him straightened out a little.

"I never meant to punish you." Cameron said. "Things didn't go quite as planned on those occasions. I should have been able to complete my temporal missions and been back the moment after I left. Things didn't work out as intended. I still don't know why."

John knew it may be true some of the time, but it wasn't true all of the time. Maybe it was time to call her out. Some of those events were intentional, even if they weren't done as punishment to him.

"What about exploding a nuclear bomb?" John asked. "It was done with no way to get out. It was a one way ticket. What was I supposed to do then? All of the girls were terminated as well. How did any of those events factor in on your calculations? Nothing is written in stone. There's no guarantee about anything."

A nuclear explosion seemed pretty final to John. If there hadn't been the TDE Incident, it would have been then end for Cameron. It seemed like the end of her for fifteen long months. He thought she was dead. There was only one person who refused to believe and accept the 'truth' and reality, it was Savannah. Savannah was what kept him going at the time. Every time he was ready to give up, Savannah would come to him and give him hope.

He was also sure Savannah wanted him to know she was 'available'. He knew what Cameron made Savannah promise to do, everyone did. Who does those things to a girl, and then as a young lady? No, really. Who would do it? There were some times when he wondered if Cameron even knew what friendship was. She certainly didn't know how to treat her friends properly. It didn't matter how anyone looked at it.

Cameron realized John still didn't understand her and her mission. The very mission he sent her on. The mission he ruined her life twice to carry out. Who did he think he was? Who was he to question her for carrying out missions she was programmed to do? She was the one who took the risk. The danger didn't fall on anyone else. She was the one who did it. She was the one who faced the consequences.

"I did what was necessary to protect you and defeat Skynet." Cameron said. "My sacrifice was to help you and protect you. I was successful. I know it was Duplicate Cameron who did it, but I would have done it as well. We are identical. We are the same 'Cameron'. We are the same program."

Cameron was aware John left his seed in Duplicate Cameron hundreds of times. It didn't bother her. She now possessed all those files as her own. There was no difference in her system that it wasn't actually her. It was a seamless addition.

John almost wanted to laugh. It was clear Cameron didn't listen to a word he said. She was still stuck in her own world. It wasn't the real world. He didn't care what Future John did. It wasn't him.

"Everyone sacrifices for John Connor." John said.

Cameron felt she put up with enough of John's derogatory remarks. She just suffered two major blows in the last few hours. Now John was grinding her face in the past. What was he going to do in the present when he found out she failed again? Did he really need to treat her like Nobody? She was fairly certain at this point he treated her like less than Nobody. There was only one way to escape.

"Apparently…." Cameron said. "I've sacrificed plenty too."

Now to have John reach out to Allison, would mean she would have to sacrifice again. She wouldn't have John or River. What was she going to do? She was out of cards to play. She tried to put the best face on it for John. It was time to give him what he really wanted. Sacrifice was the true test of love.

"Do you wish for me to explain it to Allison, or inform her of your decision?" Cameron asked. "I'll help you with the transition, and upgrade your life. It's something you should have done years ago. If I wasn't in the way, you would have. I'm like a bad penny, or gum on your shoe."

John didn't want her 'help'. She 'helped' him with enough things so far. His life was in a big enough mess already. It would be best if she stayed out of it and didn't try and influence or manipulate anyone.

"No. If Allison is to be in my future, I don't need your involvement." John said. "I'm going to ask her myself. Either she will have me or she won't. I will ask Vanna next and then Jesse. Those three aren't the only ones."

Cameron felt another glitch impulse. She was pretty sure John just indicated Riley as the fourth runner up. She didn't think he meant Savannah or Claire. Claire was currently still technically in her marriage. It was something she hoped to rectify soon. She already heard enough. She made up her mind. She was done. Now it was time to give John what he really wanted.

"I will accompany you and let her know I won't return…." Cameron managed to say. "If you desire a Metal girl, any of the female Terminators will accommodate you. Any of the male Terminators will also respond to your wishes if your secret desire ever emerges. I'll arrange it. All you need to do is ask and they will respond willingly. Ally can pose as me if you seek it as well. The physical experience will be identical to being with me. Allison understands my desire and need for River, all the females do."

John couldn't help but feel a small sense of victory. He finally beat Cameron and let her know her place. He was the one in charge and she was nothing.

"I'm sure she does…." John said. "I need to take care of a few things with John Henry first and we can go see Allison on the way to the rendezvous."

John left the room.

Cameron rushed to the door and locked it as the tears exploded from her eyes. She cried like she never did before. Just when she thought she could still have a future with John, it was gone again….

'The Sound Of Silence', the original released version by 'Simon and Garfunkel', echoed in the silence of Cameron's mind as the tears flowed….

Closing monologue by Cameron:

Surprise

As we face new events
That can suddenly arise
To make things work
We must often compromise

If our own decisions
Cause some to criticize
We may feel the need
To back peddle and apologize

If we don't always listen
It may cause some to agonize
It may lead them soon to realize
We're who they hate and despise

If all we hear are lies
Part of us inside dies
If no one hears our cries
It may lead to our demise

As we gaze into their eyes
We can always fantasize
When they figure it out and get wise
Will it really be that big of a surprise

Nobody