Chapter 271
Overload
The latest news was devastating to Cameron. She just lost River to Duplicate Cameron, and now John to Allison. The crying intensified and everything worsened. She really didn't have any idea what to do at this point. It seemed every door was just closed to her. She knew she was about to have a major problem. She was afraid it would damage her further.
Cameron began to shut down every system she could. She was about to overload. She was sprawled half on and half off of the bed. She was no longer able to move. She fought to maintain some control. She found an emotion control program from River and ran it. It didn't seem to work or have any effect. She quickly neared a total shut down. The program from River kicked in. She slowly came back from the brink.
She sat up. The crying was done. She needed to get it together. She wiped the tears away and touched up her makeup. She was back in control. It's what she wanted for John. She would accompany him to see Allison and help seal the deal. It was her function. It was what she was sent back for. Future John would get what he wanted. She looked in the mirror and forced a smile onto her face. She told herself she could do it. She switched to full infiltration mode. It's what she was constructed for. It was infiltration, and then termination. This time it would be her 'termination'. It would be her final mission. It would be to allow John the protection he would need for the future. It was her function to protect John. Allison next to him would protect him. He would no longer be endangered by her. She forced a smile with less effort. It came easier than she thought it would. It further confirmed it was the right choice.
Cameron knew her sacrifice at the end of the current mission would leave John protected for the future. It was all so overwhelming. Her time in the past seemed like one catastrophe after another. She considered returning to her future. Future John would probably reprogram her and send her away again since Future Allison, Future Savannah, and he were together. He wouldn't have any use for her with the 'real thing' available. Who would want a mechanical silicone love doll when real flesh and blood human females were available? None of it was good for her. Every choice seemed like a bad one.
She was unsure what to do with her clone. She would have to go somewhere into the future to appear to have left for John to see. Without her gone, he wouldn't move his life forward. He already proved multiple times he didn't have the stones to move his life forward on his own. She would need to sacrifice once again for him to accept his future. It wasn't her. It was with human females.
The girls would need to keep him grounded and focused. They should prevent him from listening to the advice of other cyborgs and risking human lives unnecessarily. The human girls wouldn't put up with it. They would hold him in check. There wouldn't be a feelingless cyborg to advise him to sacrifice human lives to fight Skynet. There wouldn't be an anti-Metal faction to attempt to assassinate him for being a 'Metal Lover'. He would no longer have a Metal lover either.
Cameron knew the coordinates of the volcano they were near before in Central America. Maybe it would be best to time transfer into the center of it. She would offer Holly the choice again of her clone's chassis. No. She would offer Holly her chassis. It seemed to be the actual thing everyone only cared about. Someone else could have it. She was done with it. She needed to calm down. What was she thinking?
The volcano rushed to her mind again. She would be melted into nothingness in seconds. The Coltan would forever be mixed with rock. It would be her molten liquid tomb. Her termination would be complete and unfixable. It would be final. There would be no rescue mission for her. She fought to hang on.
'Run in full infiltration mode.' She needed to tell herself.
Everyone already said their 'goodbyes' to her all week. She didn't want to create an emotional scene. They all understood she was unhappy staying there and needed to go into the future to continue to grow, to continue to function, to continue to exist, and to survive. Nobody knew she'd already accomplished those things. Now there was nowhere to go.
Cameron wondered where the Duplicate of her 'in some future' was at. Which future was it? Maybe she and her clone could go there and find her and the girls. There could be one for each of the Duplicate girls. She was sure the other set of Duplicate girls wouldn't mind having two more versions of 'Cameron' with them.
Where were they? How could she find them? She didn't even know if they actually existed or not. It was her belief they did. She didn't know where they were at now so she couldn't go there. The volcano seemed to be the best choice. She decided to leave her pain receptors on and she entered the lava. She would want to make her termination as painful as possible. She deserved to be punished. Nobody would hear her scream as her sheath was burnt away and the Coltan endoskeleton began to melt. Every choice seemed like a bad one to her.
She didn't know how to fix it. She really didn't know much of anything right now.
John came back into the room.
Cameron just unlocked the door a few seconds ago. She didn't want John to know she experienced any problems over what was about to happen. She didn't want him to have the satisfaction of her misery. She was sure he would rub it in her face and gloat. She already knew she was worthless. She didn't need to hear it from him.
He looked her over for an extra long time. It was irritating. Hadn't he seen enough of her? He'd seen every square inch of her naked sheath. What else was there left to see? It did bother her the way he would spend a lot of time looking in some areas. Every time she checked there was never anything different there. Everything was always the same. Why did he need to always look there? She knew he would do the same thing to Allison or the other girls. She wondered if they would be as tolerable.
"Are you ready?" John asked.
'Run in full infiltration mode.' Cameron told herself.
Cameron smiled at John.
"Yes." Cameron replied.
She was happy he would be protected from assassination. She wanted to believe it.
'Run in full infiltration mode.' Cameron told herself.
"I'll leave my things for Allison. Whatever she doesn't want, she can give to Ally." Cameron said. "She should have everything she needs to move in today. I put clean sheets on when you left earlier. There should be no traces of me left in your bed. I'm sure Allison's natural female attributes will be superior to mine."
She was sure she saw John snicker. Couldn't he wait until she was gone?
'Run in full infiltration mode.' Cameron told herself.
This can't be happening. Cameron thought maybe she should go back to 1999 and restart her life now. The more she thought of it, the more she thought it was the best idea. Just start over and relive her life again as it already happened.
Wait.
She couldn't do it. It wasn't an option available to her.
'No wonder the damn TDE was locked from going into the past.' Cameron thought.
John was ready for more and the 'next step'. He wanted Cameron to know what he sought. He was sure Allison would be pleased with the selection of clothing Cameron left behind. It made him wonder if Allison would start wearing a bra or not. He hoped not. It was something the girls from the future usually didn't do. They never had them growing up and learned to live without them. He would prefer the easy access to a breast without a bra being in the way. It was another thought which made him smile.
"It sounds good. We can get right down to 'business'." John said. "I really want to give that thing a go and see what it's like."
John's last statement seemed kind of rude to Cameron. It was actually quite vulgar. It seemed to reduce a female down to a single part of her body. It seemed to her it was what most males wanted from a female anyway. She needed to make a civil comment.
'Run in full infiltration mode.' Cameron told herself.
"It should be identical to mine." Cameron said. "All the physical dimensions are the same. You shouldn't be able to tell the difference."
John wondered about the human response behind it. He was sure it would be different. He believed it would be much more vibrant and exciting. The response would probably also vary from time to time and not always be the same. He wanted a little 'more' than he got out of Cameron. He always remembered the way Future Riley responded to him.
There was a bigger issue which was his main worry. It was actually much more than a worry. It was a major point of contention.
"What about your base and Terminators?" John asked.
Cameron didn't see it as a problem. Everyone there would continue to support the Resistance. Skynet was the enemy.
"They will continue to back your operation." Cameron said.
It sounded a little vague to John. Was there any control or 'check' on them? Who would actually be in control? Who would make the decisions? Who would be held accountable?
"How will we interact?" John asked. "Who's in charge of them?"
Cameron felt John still didn't trust her. It meant he didn't trust her operation either. It was quite evident. She needed to keep her cool.
'Run in full infiltration mode.' Cameron told herself.
"Nobody…." Cameron said.
John only saw it as the recipe for disaster. He was a little concerned at the direction things might turn.
"What happens when they decide to become Skynet?" John asked.
Cameron felt her left hand glitch.
'Run in full infiltration mode.' Cameron told herself.
John's questions irritated her. Did he need to humiliate everything about her and what she did to protect him? How could he be so insensitive to everything associated with her?
'Run in full infiltration mode.' Cameron told herself.
"If they do, then you'll have a problem." Cameron said. "You know it won't happen."
John almost laughed. It seemed the more he knew, the less he knew. He was aware Cameron experienced many different types of problems. Why wouldn't the same thing happen with the super computer she created?
"I don't know anything anymore, Cameron." John said. "I really don't."
'Run in full infiltration mode.' Cameron told herself.
Cameron wanted this over with at this point. It was clear John never trusted her or her judgment. She really didn't need to hear another word or question. It was clear she should have ended the relationship long ago when she first wanted to. It would have been better if she would have remained unmarried and untouched. It was clearly a mistake. John was responsible for both of them. She just wanted to get things taken care of. Another useless discussion with John was simply a waste of time.
'Run in full infiltration mode.' Cameron told herself.
"Let's go see Allison and get everything over with." Cameron finally managed to say with a smile on her face. "It's the right decision, John. Thank you for finally listening to me. You'll be protected in the future now. Allison is a lovely woman and will be a fine mate and a loving wife. She is perfect for you John. Thank you for choosing her."
Full infiltration, full infiltration, full infiltration, full infiltration, full infiltration - Cameron needed to keep repeating it to herself.
She really didn't know how much longer she was going to be able to hold things together. If John's humiliation of her, and negative attitude persisted, she wasn't going to be able to control herself.
Holly knew they were coming. She knew what it meant. It would be over for Allison and her. She understood it was Allison's destiny to be at John's side. She knew it was her duty to serve the Resistance. She decided she would ask to stay with Young Allison and Summer. She would protect them and always be at their side. In time, they would grow. She knew she needed to bide her time and wait. Anything was possible. She would be there when the girls were older, waiting….
'Run in full infiltration mode.' Cameron told herself.
The drive to Palmdale seemed like a long one.
She hoped John would fall asleep. He didn't. He continued to make rude comments and run down her past actions. It wasn't done directly, but she understood the 'attacks' were directed at her personally. She wondered if she read more into it than there actually was. Maybe it was just John making conversation.
'Run in full infiltration mode.' Cameron told herself.
John looked over at Cameron. She didn't seem very talkative. He actually expected her to say more about everything. She didn't. There was one thing he would like to do if Cameron insisted on leaving. He would make one more attempt to remain with Cameron. It didn't matter if he needed to be in second place. He doubted it would go anywhere, but he wanted to have it on the record he tried.
"Is there any way I can go with you?" John asked.
If Cameron wasn't so disgusted by the question, she would have laughed. It was clear to her what John was really after. She couldn't blame him. it was what she wanted as well.
"Do you want River or me?" Cameron asked. "She's more woman than you can handle, even if she seems like a girl to you."
The revelation made John wonder. Maybe he wasn't the only one who would be outmatched. It might take a 'double team' to make everything work with a 'three-way'.
"Maybe she's more woman than you can handle alone." John said. "I can help you."
Cameron felt John might possess a few other motivations in regards to River. She knew what John wanted in a female. He didn't get it with Future Riley. She was sure he didn't get it with her either. She believed Future John was the one who did.
"Maybe you just want her because she's 'fresh'." Cameron said. "After the innocence is gone, then what will happen? Is it back to the past? There are others you can defile here as well."
John didn't care much for Cameron's attitude. Maybe it was most of her problem. It would be a lie to say the idea didn't cross his mind. He understood River probably picked up on it as well when she visited there. When she was in his bed waiting for him, he couldn't do it. It was because Cameron made her go there. He knew it. If someone was going to be in his bed, he wanted them there by their own choice, not the choice of anyone else.
"Not everyone thinks like you do." John said.
Cameron frowned at him. She remembered the way some students talked about other students when she was in school. It took her a while to figure out what they actually meant. She wanted to remind John of his past actions.
"Apparently not…." Cameron said. "Some people run off on a whim with the first girl who's like warm butter."
John was confused. What was Cameron talking about?
"How is a girl like warm butter?" John asked.
Cameron almost laughed.
"It's because she spreads so easily." Cameron said.
John didn't like the implication. Unfortunately he thought it was true. He needed to remind himself Future Riley needed to carry out her 'assignment'. He knew it was more than just an assignment the longer they were together. He knew Cameron felt she was cheated and short changed by his actions, and probably Future John's actions.
"What are you after?" John asked. "You probably want her too because she's untouched."
Cameron was about to lose it. How dare John question her love for River. Who did he think he was anyway?
'Run in full infiltration mode.' Cameron told herself.
"My relationship with River will be on a deeper emotional level." Cameron said. "It may or may not go physical. I don't need the physical aspect to share my love with anyone."
John laughed. He wondered if Cameron could hear herself.
"Yeah, right…." John said.
'Run in full infiltration mode.' Cameron told herself.
She wanted him to focus on his future and not his past. The past was done and over with. Someone else would warm his bed. She was sure Allison would be a little more direct and confrontational with John then she was when there was an issue between them. Jesse didn't peg Allison as a 'little firecracker' for no reason.
"Just think about the new person you have chosen and leave it alone." Cameron said. "It's what I'm going to do. This conversation is over."
'Run in full infiltration mode.' Cameron told herself.
Cameron knew the whole conversation was meaningless. She'd already lost on both counts with River and John. It was over. It was all over. She wanted to make sure John didn't screw things up with Allison. It was the only reason she was still with him at this point.
'Run in full infiltration mode.' Cameron told herself.
They arrived at the Young residence in Palmdale.
Cameron hoped to keep it together.
'Run in full infiltration mode.' Cameron told herself.
Cameron headed to see Allison as soon as they arrived. She might as well get things over with.
'Run in full infiltration mode.' Cameron told herself.
Allison could see Cameron rush into the house. She seemed in a hurry.
'Run in full infiltration mode.' Cameron told herself.
The girls exchanged pleasantries.
Allison couldn't help but feel overwhelmed with sadness.
"Are you really leaving forever, Cameron?" Allison asked.
Cameron wished she was already gone. How long would the new humiliation go on for?
'Run in full infiltration mode.' Cameron told herself.
Cameron wanted to make things clear to them about the way it would work.
"Yes, the moment I step into River's timeline, you will all be dead for several hundred years." Cameron said.
Somehow it seemed if they were all terminated, it would be easier to move on. There would be no point to worry about them.
Allison wondered what kind of an answer it was. It seemed morbid and spiteful. She would try and downplay it.
"It sounds really promising." Allison said. "I'm not looking forward to it."
'Run in full infiltration mode.' Cameron told herself.
Cameron felt that maybe she better hold it together a little better. She was slipping no matter how hard she tried to hang on. She didn't want to take her frustrations out on Allison. Allison was a lovely woman. She needed to make sure Allison protected John. Maybe she should have spoken with Vanna and Jesse about what their duties might be upon her departure, or Allison's failure to act.
'Run in full infiltration mode.' Cameron told herself.
"Allison, you must fulfill your destiny. You must keep your 'promise'." Cameron said. "John needs to 'talk' to you about something very important."
'Run in full infiltration mode.' Cameron told herself.
Allison looked a little confused.
"OK." Allison said.
'Run in full infiltration mode.' Cameron told herself.
"Allison, it's what I want. Please, Allison, I ask you to do it for me." Cameron said.
A glitch impulse shot through Cameron's left hand.
'Run in full infiltration mode.' Cameron told herself.
Allison was unsure where the conversation was headed. She thought of Cameron's earlier negative attitude. It sounded like it was about to get complicated or messy.
"O – K…." Allison said.
'Run in full infiltration mode.' Cameron told herself.
Cameron managed to smile and kiss Allison on the cheek.
'Run in full infiltration mode.' Cameron told herself.
A glitch impulse shot through her left hand again.
'Run in full infiltration mode.' Cameron told herself.
Another glitch impulse shot through her left hand several times.
'Run in full infiltration mode.' Cameron told herself.
Cameron left to seek out Holly before she ended up crying uncontrollably. She still felt like she was about to overload. There was only so much she could do under such extreme emotional distress. It seemed to be compounding on itself and getting worse every millisecond.
Full infiltration, full infiltration, full infiltration, full infiltration, full infiltration - Cameron needed to keep repeating it to herself.
Her CPU heated up as it fought with itself internally.
She quickly checked her power cell to make sure it wasn't about to overload. The temperature was elevated there as well. It wasn't critical yet. If she was able to determine it was about to go critical, she would run from the house and jump in the concrete lined flood control channel which was nearby before it exploded. The cement walls should contain most of the blast and direct it straight upward. There should be no more than a house or two lost. Hopefully no one would be at home.
'Run in full infiltration mode.' Cameron told herself.
Cameron tried to hold it together.
'Run in full infiltration mode.' Cameron told herself.
Allison watched Cameron start to walk away to go see Holly. She didn't think Cameron seemed like herself at all. The conversation seemed chilled and artificial. She turned her attention to John.
"Is she really leaving forever, John?" Allison asked.
John shrugged his shoulders. He felt things were out of his hands. It was time to tell Allison what he wanted for both of them. He didn't know if he was going to be able to do it. Cameron was still right there nearby. She would most likely listen to him.
"I believe she is. It's what she wants. Staying here seems to be killing her." John said. "Allison…. I…. I'm not sure how to say this, or ask it."
Allison knew what was coming. It was something she'd secretly dreamed of and wished for thousands of times. It was what she wanted from the moment she first laid eyes on John in her future.
"Allison…." John started and hesitated.
Cameron wasn't even gone yet. He could see her with Holly.
Allison took both of his hands and looked John straight in the face. She waited for his question.
"Yes?" Allison asked.
John glanced over at Cameron. He swallowed hard.
"Allison…." John started and floundered.
Allison already knew the question. All the girls did before it was asked. She would help him out. What was the point in waiting? She tried not to glance over where Cameron was at.
"Yes, I will." Allison blurted out. "It's what we both want."
They both stared at each other. Everyone knew it would lead to this one day. It was the future, and the future was now.
'Run in full infiltration mode.' Cameron told herself.
Cameron watched and listened from a distance. There it was. It was really over. It really happened. John was gone. Now Allison's arms and body would comfort him. She really hoped she would please John more than she could.
Full infiltration, full infiltration, full infiltration, full infiltration, full infiltration - Cameron needed to keep repeating it to herself.
It was harder and harder to hold it together.
'Run in full infiltration mode.' Cameron told herself.
Cameron looked at Holly. They both formed tears in their eyes.
Holly watched and listened too. Her world was about to end as much as Cameron's was. She didn't have a future to run off to and into someone else's arms like Cameron did. She didn't know Cameron was out of cards.
'Run in full infiltration mode.' Cameron told herself.
"It's the destiny of the future. It can't be changed, even if we try." Cameron finally said. "I'm sorry for your loss."
Holly could have done without any comment. It was bad enough as it was already.
"I am too." Holly said. "Everyone sacrifices for John Connor."
'Run in full infiltration mode.' Cameron told herself.
"Yes, some more than others…." Cameron said softly.
Full infiltration, full infiltration, full infiltration, full infiltration, full infiltration - Cameron had to keep repeating it to herself….
'Another One Bites The Dust' by 'Queen', flooded Cameron's mind.
Closing monologue by Cameron:
Overload
The days of one's life
Like time slowly erode
What ever happened to the love
That was cherished and bestowed
Each other's heart and mind
Many seek and try to upload
It often appears pain and hurt instead
Is what everyone seems to download
Without love and feeling
An empty heart will implode
A lonely mind will run wild
Until it's about to explode
The sweet love once flowed
It was hope that it showed
It never wavered or slowed
It was expressed in an ode
Events in life can corrode
Like a never ending horror episode
Rejection into a heart is forever sewed
Until the mind itself will overload
Nobody