Chapter 342

I'm Afraid So

Cameron received the call she dreaded. It was Holly….

She took the call and burst into tears as soon as she hung up. Allison's pregnancy just terminated. All three girls failed.

It was the start of a chain of events which would continue to play out the same way over and over. Jesse and Vanna would stop trying. Allison wouldn't.

Holly hadn't notified Allison yet. She asked Cameron to come with Vanna. She started to run millions of calculations to prevent from having a melt down. Her left hand started to glitch.

It seemed the more feelings and emotions Holly developed, made them all harder to deal with, rather than easier. She thought it would be the other way around. She really wondered how Cameron was able to function at the level she progressed to with her feelings and emotions. It was no wonder Cameron considered self-termination at various times. With the emotional load, she could understand it.

Holly wondered how humans did. It was all so overwhelming. What she did know was Allison would need Vanna. As much as it bothered her, she realized Allison and Vanna needed each other. They could provide each other with what a machine never would be able to do. It was to share real feelings and emotions. It was to share real love. Allison's well being is what mattered the most to her.

Cameron went to the lab. She paused at the door a moment before she entered.

Vanna noticed her face right away. It hit her like a punch in the gut. She received plenty of those over the years. It was clear to her what was wrong. She knew right away it was Allison. It could only mean one thing. It was the worst thing possible.

"NO!" Vanna said. "Are you sure?"

Cameron still hadn't said anything. She was there to seek Vanna's assistance. Maybe she needed it as much for herself, as she would for Allison.

"Yes. I'm afraid so." Cameron said. "Will you please come with me? Allison will need you."

Vanna was already headed for the door. Allison was her beloved, even if they were apart right now. She would always go to her. Allison was the most important thing to her. Well, as far as humans went anyway.

Bob and John went out to gather some intel. It was based on some cell phone pings in a concentrated area. It was a captured phone from a previous operation. John Henry did the rest.

Cameron's Terminators showed themselves so Bob and John would know they were there. Cameron sent them along as 'backup'. They were the shadow force.

John didn't think they needed any assistance. They were out on a simple recon.

"I see we have four shadows." John said. "It's a real confidence builder."

Bob didn't like it either. It made him feel like he was inadequate. He also didn't wish to make an issue about it and 'cross' Cameron. It was best to go with the flow. He felt it was an unnecessary restriction on Resistance operations. If there were additional Terminators, they should be used elsewhere. There were always plenty of leads to follow up on. They were always future Scavengers to deal with.

"They're following Cameron's orders." Bob said. "It's not something any of us can question. I don't wish to be deactivated."

John shook his head with disgust. He was the General. He felt he was the one who should make the decisions and determine who was used where and when.

"I'm glad I'm the one in charge." John said sarcastically.

Bob didn't want to make a big deal about it. Sometimes it was nice to have help. They were on more than one operation where things took an unexpected turn. He could think of a few examples when he was out with John himself. He was aware there were plenty of others. He didn't want John to be distracted by it.

"You know these things can go hot real fast sometimes." Bob said. "We might need some extra muscle. Until we do, it's just us. It will be just like old times."

John wondered if he was given all the information. It seemed Cameron was busy a lot since the last raid. It made him wonder what she was up to. Wait. Maybe it was better if he didn't wonder. He would only end up thinking about the worst case scenarios and it would bother him even more. There was one group Cameron liked to deal with on her own. It was a group he believed they should try to interact with and work with. They were Resistance fighters after all.

"What about the anti-Metal faction?" John asked. "I haven't heard anything about them. I don't see Cameron much."

Bob felt Cameron took care of all the variables. It seemed rather straight forward to him. All of his experience dealing with humans indicated John should be pleased with the options Cameron made available to him. He honestly didn't see what the big deal was. It was what people did all the time around them.

"She's made it clear there are others to 'take her place'." Bob said. "She's trying to keep everyone safe."

John didn't want to get into the 'others' part of Bob's statement. It seemed to be something Terminators viewed very differently than humans did. He was sure it was because of their lack of emotional development as well as moral issues. Terminators never experienced strong points when it came to ethics. He decided to move on.

"No one's died recently." John said. "I guess it's a good thing."

It seemed to Bob as if Cameron was on top of everything, even if she was busy and not able to have as much free time as John thought she should have. It didn't seem like it was a good time to remind John there was a war going on.

"All of our Terminators have been repaired as well." Bob said. "Cameron has kept all her promises."

John wondered exactly what all of Cameron's promises were. He was fairly certain he would only be angered or upset by some of them. He didn't like how the subject was changed. He wanted a better answer to his earlier question. It seemed as if Bob tried to dodge the issue.

"What about the anti-Metal faction?" John asked again. "I think there's more to the story."

Bob hadn't heard anything new. Then again, Cameron wasn't always quite as forthcoming as she could be. Either way he was sure there was more to every story when Cameron was involved. More than likely, a good chunk of it was probably left unknown.

"I believe the threat has been terminated." Bob said.

John doubted it. He was worried his earlier action, or actually inaction, may have played a factor in it. He was worried it would come back to Future Jesse.

"Was Jesse, the evil one, involved?" John asked.

Bob thought Cameron was 'soft' on the issue. He didn't think Cameron would terminate her if she ever located her. He wasn't exactly sure what she would do with her.

"I don't know." Bob said. "If she was, Cameron would try to rehabilitate her."

John figured Cameron may act a little more sinister with Future Jesse if she could take her into custody. It bothered him most of the people taken into custody by Cameron were females.

"I don't doubt what she will do. I'm afraid of what else Cameron might try and do with her." John said. "We know Cameron has done 'something' with several female Grays already."

Bob thought justice was served. The end result was termination.

"Affirmative…." Bob said. "They've all been terminated. It's something I do know."

John was worried about the time lag between their capture and their termination. He was sure Cameron did something unethical and immoral. The Resistance didn't take any prisoners, but Cameron's operation did. He wasn't even sure if 'prisoner' was the proper term. They might be 'test subjects' of some sort.

"What did she do to them?" John asked. "Did she go Skynet on them?"

Bob wasn't privy to such information. The time lag before termination suggested some 'experimentation' was done. He was unsure of the nature of it. He didn't see what the purpose of it would be under any circumstances. It was all illogical as viewed by a Terminator, well, a 'normal' Terminator.

"Only her Terminators know. Most of her Terminators are HER, well, her program anyway." Bob said. "She only trusts 'herself'."

John often suspected with Cameron's wild mood swings there might be some 'hanky panky' going on with some of her female clones. There were times he doubted Cameron could be 'all over the place' from one visit to the next. He hoped to get an honest answer for the next question.

"Has she ever sent a clone to me in her place?" John asked.

Bob thought John should be able to tell by their performance in bed. It seemed like a very personal setting. If it was always the same individuals, things should be identical.

"Can't you tell?" Bob asked. "You share with her, or them."

John felt if it was someone 'different' he'd like to know. It in itself would be a thrill. Technically it really would be like someone 'different', even if it wasn't and everything was the same.

"No. I can't." John said. "It's why I'm asking you."

Bob thought about it. He'd been fooled before without knowing anything was different.

"I don't know." Bob said. "If it's a clone, she would be identical. I didn't know Duplicate Cameron wasn't Cameron. They were actually identical."

John felt defensive on the issue. Cameron was Cameron, if she was a Duplicate. It was the result of a TDE malfunction. He was aware the issue always pointed back at him since he was the one who insisted John Henry try everything to get them back. It included running the TDE out of its normal operating parameters and attempting untested procedures. He was with Duplicate Cameron until her termination. At least she wasn't terminated any longer, even if she was half of a millennium in the future.

"But it WAS Cameron." John said. "It wasn't a clone or a copy of some type."

Bob wasn't sure how to classify everything which could be one way or another. He was worried they were lax in their recon. He concentrated a little more on what they were supposed to do there. Almost right away he noticed something. It looked like bad news. He wondered if he would have detected it a little sooner if John hadn't distracted him with unnecessary conversation about something neither one of them possessed any control over.

"John, look." Bob said. "I need to notify Cameron about this."

John saw what Bob pointed at. It was a new development. It wasn't anything good. He didn't want Cameron to get mixed up in things yet until he could find out more. He'd also like to deal with it himself. Cameron didn't need to do everything. He knew what Cameron's orders were to the Terminators. He wanted to reassure Bob not to worry about the breach in Cameron's protocol. It wasn't his protocol. He was the General after all.

"Not yet." John said. "Let's see where it goes. I won't let her deactivate you."

Bob sure hoped not. He wasn't really sure how much control John could actually exert over Cameron. He doubted it was very much. If anything, it appeared to be the other way around the majority of the time.

John and Bob both looked at the new development….

Cameron left the base with Vanna, Savannah, and Cam. She thought she could go over a few things with them. She couldn't. The ride was mostly in silence.

Savannah could see everyone was 'down'. She tried her best to help them think about other things and refocus. It seemed to work.

Much of the ride was still in silence. It made it seem like it was much longer than it was.

Savannah figured there were probably other locations Cameron would like to stop along the way there to deal with other issues. The nature of the issue involving Allison was something Cameron didn't want put on the back burner. She understood why.

They exited the 14 Freeway and headed for the Young Residence.

Claire heard a car door. She looked out the window.

She saw right away it was Cameron, Vanna, Savannah, and another 'Cameron look-alike'. She wasn't sure which one it was yet. She knew there were several.

Claire's heart sank as she noticed the solemn looks on their faces. It wasn't a pleasure visit. It was a 'death procession'. She was afraid she knew what it meant. Her mouth was instantly dry and her stomach knotted.

It was the thing she dreaded the most. She noted Holly wasn't there. She was usually there to greet Cameron. It only further reinforced her fears. Holly was with Allison. She knew Holly didn't want to leave Allison's side.

Claire slowly opened the door. She faced Cameron. Neither one of them spoke for a few seconds. She saw the tears in all of their eyes. It could only mean one thing. It was one of her worst fears.

"Allison?" Claire asked as tears filled her eyes.

Claire could see the four women looked like they were crying. It seemed as if they were about to start again with her question. She understood it was the way it worked in similar situations.

Cameron only nodded her head. It was all she could do and keep it together. Words were beyond her right now.

Savannah could see they all needed a little help. It was time to show some strength. She would free up Claire to be with her daughter. Allison needed her mother right now more than she did her.

"I'll see Allison later on." Savannah said. "I'll watch Young Allison and Summer for now, Claire. I have this. Go with the girls."

Claire could see the strength Savannah radiated. She knew it wasn't easy for her to do.

"Thank You." Claire managed to get out.

Cam excused herself and went next door to tell Hanna the bad news and what would be her new assignment. The extra protection was no longer necessary, for a few months at least.

Cameron could always use the Metal girls to assist her again. She would lose both Camille and Cammy relatively soon. The 'Three Musketeers' could be reunited.

Holly was in Allison's room. She was aware the others arrived. She hadn't said anything to Allison yet.

There was a knock at the door.

Holly slowly got up to answer it.

Allison noticed how upset Holly looked. She seemed to move very slowly. It reminded her of Cameron on the verge of a 'melt down'. She noticed Holly's hand glitched. She hadn't seen it earlier. She wondered if there was something wrong with Holly. She was about to ask her.

The door opened before she could. Allison saw Cameron, Vanna, and her mother standing there. Her heart sank.

Allison knew right away. It could only mean one thing.

"NO! Are you sure?" Allison asked. "NO! I wanted this so much."

Holly returned to her and they both started to cry.

The three females entered Allison's room. Cameron closed the door behind them.

Savannah could hear the crying from the other room from inside Summer's room. She decided to take the girls out for a walk. Hanna and Cam followed her on foot as did half the Detail in an SUV. It would be loaded with heavy weapons in case there was a problem.

There was something in the back of her mind. Maybe it was in the front of her mind. Maybe it was an issue she tried to dodge.

Savannah knew it was time for her to 'step up'. She would talk to Vanna in a few days. Her body was fit and ready. She was ready. She wanted to confirm her viability. She looked back at the two female Terminators following them.

"Cam, can you scan me?" Savannah asked.

Cam and Hanna looked at each other. They knew what Savannah was really asking about. It could only lead to trouble for everyone.

"I don't wish to be deactivated." Cam said.

Savannah didn't like the dodge. She knew the score. It was time they all stepped up too.

"I won't let her." Savannah said. "You're Cameron too, right?"

Cam saw how Savannah was about to 'play' her. She needed to point out the most likely culmination of events going forward.

"I'm an older version." Cam said. "Nothing would please Cameron more than to 'terminate herself', again."

Savannah didn't want dramatics or excuses. She positioned her neck where Cam could scan her easily right now.

Cam reluctantly touched Savannah's neck and frowned.

"I'll notify Cameron…." Cam said.

Savannah smiled at both of them.

Cam and Hanna both frowned even more. It was going to come back on them from someone, if not everyone.

Savannah was a teenager. She was healthy and in top shape. She was also ready and willing on about three different levels.

Cam would try to see if she could get Vanna to stop or slow Savannah's 'decision'.

Young Allison watched the interaction between Savannah and the two Terminators. She felt she possessed a pretty good idea of what the problem was and what a possible solution was.

"Hanna, I want you to scan me too." Young Allison said.

Savannah was immediately alarmed by her question. She knew exactly what it meant. It was about the last thing she wanted to hear on several different levels, for a multitude of different reasons.

She knew in the Third World, and the inner city, it wasn't uncommon for females of their age to have children. Some of them were a grandmother at twenty five years old! She knew it wouldn't go over well with the humans at the base if she were to 'try'. She certainly didn't want Young Allison to get any ideas of her own.

Young Allison didn't care for the looks on all of their faces. She was well versed in what her future duties would be. Terminators worked with her every day, and every night, each day of the week.

"We all know what the future will be." Young Allison said.

Hanna moved up to scan Young Allison.

Savannah reached out and stopped her.

"I don't think so." Savannah said.

Young Allison and Savannah shared a long look. It was clear what was going to happen going forward on several levels.

Cameron hugged Allison close for the longest time.

"I'm sorry for your loss." Cameron softly said.

There wasn't much else to say. It was time for the two long term lovers to console each other alone. Cameron and Claire left the room. They closed the door behind them.

Claire didn't like the pain her daughter was in. She was ready to step up. She discussed it with Cameron before. Now it was time to act. She placed Cameron's hand on her neck.

Cameron stiffened slightly. She understood everything in a fraction of a second. Many things would be disrupted. The 'blame' would eventually fall on her. It always did anyway.

"No, Claire, not yet, I don't want to ruin your life." Cameron said.

It wasn't an issue to Claire. She was ready for whatever changes would happen in her life. Things were stagnant and stale now. She was ready to move ahead. Life went forwards not backwards.

"It's for Allison." Claire said. "She's my daughter. It's for her. I'll do anything for my children. I can help her. I need to help her."

Claire faced Cameron. She wanted to help. She wanted Cameron to know how far she was willing to go for Allison and Cameron.

"YOU too, Cameron, I'll help you too." Claire said as she looked into Cameron's eyes. "I love you, Cameron. PLEASE let me help her and you."

Cameron felt terrible. She kept hurting people. She tried to help them, not hurt them. Nothing seemed to work out right.

Claire didn't like Cameron's hesitation. She ran her hands down the sides of her body. It reinforced what she said verbally.

Cameron knew Claire was only a few years older than Allison. She was younger than Vanna and Jesse. She didn't see any way forward which wasn't going to be a problem for someone, if not everyone.

"Claire. I can't ask you to do this." Cameron said. "I won't. I hurt everyone I touch."

Claire offered her body to Cameron to use in the way she wanted to. She would be with John, or use whatever 'scientific methods' Cameron wanted to try.

"It must be done." Claire said. "You tell me what to do and it's how it will be done."

Cameron wanted John protected. Claire offered herself again for however she wanted to use Claire. It was love. She needed to use caution and prudence. She needed to see the overall picture and not focus on just what she wanted.

"We'll try a surrogate procedure first with Allison's genetic material." Cameron said. "If it fails, then we will try it with your genetic material. It would be 'your child' at that point. It's a lot to ponder. Allison needs to try again first."

The whole thing brought up another issue for Cameron. She was worried about Duplicate Allison. Hopefully the distant future may have better ways to 'help'. River's brother was a skilled physician. She needed to refocus. She would overload if she focused on things she didn't have any control over.

Claire could see Cameron looked a little lost. It was time to make everything crystal clear to her. She was ready to go all the way.

"I'll do it ANY way you want it done." Claire said. "ANY WAY…."

Cameron really wanted it. She wanted the girls to 'listen' to her. It seemed the two who would, were the two who shouldn't. At least not yet. Both Savannah and Claire let her know they were 'ready'. She felt Claire needed to think about her family. She could only come to one conclusion about Claire's future.

"It will most likely end your marriage." Cameron said.

Claire stood tall and firm before Cameron. Her resolve was clear.

"Everyone sacrifices for John Connor." Claire said.

Cameron was worried when she could get the things she wanted, there was always more involved. She was proud of how committed the girls were.

"Apparently…." Cameron said. "Some more often than others…."

John and Bob were out gathering information on a recon and came across something John hadn't seen before.

"What is it?" John asked. "It looks sort of like a mini tank."

Bob knew it was bad news. It was a deadly piece of Skynet technology.

"It's a ground based HK. It's an HK Track." Bob said. "It's easier to put into production than an HK drone. There are several sizes of them too. The next bigger size can hold an operator, it's an HK Tread."

John looked at the design. He figured it could be fitted with various types of weaponry. He hoped Skynet hadn't developed a 'plasma cannon' in the past, the present. It looked dangerous no matter how it was armed.

"It looks lethal." John said.

Bob thought Cameron should know about it right away.

"They are." Bob said. "This isn't a good development. I need Cameron to review my files and scans on this unit. I believe it is based on designs from her timeline."

John hoped they were ahead of a production line set up to mass produce the HK Tracks. He hoped Bob could tell.

"Does it look like a prototype or a production unit?" John asked.

Bob zoomed in his vision to get detailed scans for Cameron.

"I think it's a prototype." Bob said. "I can see some parts aren't completely finished. There's a lot of rough machining."

John wanted a strike on the location as soon as possible. He didn't even know if he wanted to wait for darkness.

"We will need to hit this group hard." John said.

Bob wanted Cameron in on it. He wanted to remind John of the facts.

"Skynet will not die." Bob said. "Only Cameron can stop it."

John often felt it was Cameron's end game.

"She can only stop it by becoming it." John said.

Bob nodded.

"Everyone sacrifices for John Connor." Bob said.

John dropped his head down in resignation. He held it there for a few seconds. He slowly lifted it back up and looked at Bob.

"Please don't ever tell me it again." John said.

Bob tilted his head slightly.

"Affirmative…." Bob said.

Closing monologue by Cameron:

I'm Afraid So

Hopes and dreams
Are possessed by all
The higher the hopes
The further one will fall

Things seldom work out as planned
There is always a kink or bend
People tend to fill in the blanks
With fantasy and pretend

True desires die hard
The deeper they're held
It takes a lot of pain
Before they are quelled

Some thoughts just don't quit
They hover around in the mind
There's really no where to go
That's where they remain confined

One asks themselves the question
They really want to know
Is everything like this
I'm afraid so

Nobody