ROBYN POV
What's the worst way to wake up? I'm sure we all had our own versions, but my own personal favourite, or un-favourite, was landing in a heap beside my bed, body having decided to fling itself onto the floor. An effective alarm clock that hurt like hell. I grumbled against the woodwork and peeled myself off the floor, sitting back on my mattress and scraping my hair back from my face. New day. New tasks. New trials.
But of course, not training. Not today. I smiled at my new gear, which Gunter had been kind enough to get for me, thus avoiding me having to deal with the repeated lecture from our supply sergeant. I didn't need it today. Today was gonna be an easier one. I cracked my neck and made my bed, whistling to myself as I considered getting to work alongside Gunter and Eld all day, busy work was hardly fulfilling, but after yesterday it was more than welcome. Plus, those guys were decent for a chat. They often had a good story to tell.
Quick shower, uniform on, ribbon given a quick kiss and then it was down to breakfast.
Assigning convicts their roles on the base. What a weird assignment, still, if it kept us on the council's good side for a little while, it was worth it. Commander Erwin could only do so much sweet-talking at funding meetings. I just hoped none of the convicts tried to get ahead of themselves. We had the authority to put them in place, I just hoped none of them tried to ask for a permanent version of that. I'd oblige if they tried to hurt any of my fellow Scouts, but I much preferred hurting Titans to people.
Having collected my tea and food, I sat down by the window where some sunshine already washed over the table-top. Cosy. I chewed my bread slowly, it was still warm from the oven and I loved being down there early enough to get that fresh few bites. Late patrollers were headed for bed, and I gave them nods as they passed by, yawning. Soon enough the room would fill with the morning rush, and voices would bubble up to the rafters. I smiled. As much as I enjoyed the peace of the forest, the building was meant to be noisy. It didn't seem like a good idea to linger on thinking why it might one day become silent.
I sipped my tea and concentrated on the sunshine. No. Today wasn't going to be the place for dark thoughts, not when I had a cushy assignment, decent company, warm bread and good weather.
"Ready for our weird assignment, Sanshi?"
I smiled towards the sound of Gunter's voice, keeping my eyes closed in the sunshine for the time being. "Yup, just making sure there's plenty fuel in the tank first. How'd you sleep? Anymore weird dreams?"
"Hey, I told you and Hanji that dream in confidence."
I snorted. "Us and the rest of your squad."
"Well… It's a funny one. I don't often get to be the funny one."
I peeked at him and he ate his breakfast. Funny what a perfectly capable soldier could wind up worrying about. Never mind his kill count, or his ability to adapt in an insanely short time, or his ability to lead. Nah. Gunter was worried about not being funny.
"Personally I find you hilarious." I closed my eyes again as he looked my way. I smirked. "Especially when you fail to spot a rake in time or manage once again to forget how wide your shoulders are."
"Clumsiness runs in my family."
I laughed. "Not a terrible legacy by all accounts."
Others began to file into the mess-hall and soon enough we were joined by Uld and Petra, with Hanji bouncing along soon after that. It seemed her and Moblit had some big experiments to try today. I silently wished for Moblit's patience to endure. Poor guy.
When I couldn't make breakfast last any longer, it was time to get to work. I headed into the kitchens, wondering where exactly I was meant to be meeting the eager convicts oh-so-happy to be our busy-bodies. A line had begun to form near the back, where supplies were brought in. All right. I headed over and waved to Eld who was already there, writing down names and asking questions.
"You're here early." I went to his side and peeked at the list, a fair few of them claimed to be capable of cooking a decent meal and some already highlighted for cleaning purposes. The Captain would be pleased. Though no doubt, he would very carefully scrutinise their first attempts – then they would see what real clean meant.
Eld smiled at me. "Hey, yeah I wanted to get a jump-start, might get time to head out and see my girl that way."
"Ah, the ever-famous 'girl'." I winked and nudged him. He shook his head and smirked. "Eventually you'll have to introduce us all Eld, gotta know if this gal is good enough for you."
"And you'd be determining that because…?"
"Because we care about you!" I put a hand to my chest. "Why else?"
He rolled his eyes. "So you can stir the pot and be asses?"
"You… You make a good point." I patted his arm and then nodded towards the line a few metres away. "So how far have you got?"
"Well this is the lot that claimed to be decent in a kitchen, so I figured giving them a small tour would be a good idea while the cooks are still serving breakfast, that way it's done when it's time to actually see how well they can cook."
"Sounds like a plan!" I peeked out the door. "Looks like the main line for food is already dying down, shall we take them out along that wall?"
"Good idea. Lead the way and I'll explain as they go past."
I waved to the convicts and they fell into line, eyes generally on the floor, shoulders hunched. A few kept looking around, but in all honesty, they just looked pleased to be here. And if the other option was a cell, I could see why. At least here you could breathe.
Once back in the mess-hall I lined them up along the wall towards the food area and Eld's voice carried through with every bob of the door. It was a decent group, maybe thirty or so. No doubt we were the first link in the chain, and once we had our fill of folks to help out, we would be handing the others out to the MP's and Garrison alike. As usual, let the Scouts do the hard bit.
"All right chaps, this is the main mess-hall and here's where you'll be…" I carried on with the spiel, letting them all take it in and then gradually focus on me. I had plain uniforms to give them, sent by the councils so that we didn't have to be served by people in actual prison get-ups. As my explanation came to an end, Eld started pointing out the major points of interest about the room and how it functioned. So I turned and began gathering some uniforms to hand out. They took them, most still keeping their eyes down.
And then I reached him.
I handed over the plain cloth and as he took the bundle, a soft chuckle sent ice down my spine. That laughter. I knew it. That sound haunted my dreams, taunted me about my failed promise. My eyes shot up. Shit. How the hell was he here? Our hands almost touched across the bundle of material, and I met his gaze for the first time since I was nine years old. Light hazel, just like mine. Only cold, the white's more yellowed than they were before, and the lines surrounding them deeper and interrupted by a few scars and bruises. He looked ill. Frail. But it was still him. Dammit.
As if I'd touched a pan straight from the oven, it was barely a moment that I'd digested all this and flinched back. Eld's words petered out as he likely noticed my reaction. No need to cause a scene. That man was just a convict. He had no power here. No power over me. I turned away and went back to the pile of uniforms. Just hand out the rest, do your job, get on with it and maybe just inform the higher ups that they had–
"I see you're still alive."
That damn voice. I shuddered and stared ahead, seeing nothing but colour and movement in the mess hall beyond, but unable to ignore how easily my mind recalled that smirk he would always wear, right before he raised his fist to me or my mother. Then it would fall. Strike. Slap. Punch. My body ached from the memories. Dammit, but I wasn't that little girl anymore. He chuckled. I swallowed hard, but it was like my throat had been filled with clay. Shit. Shit he was really there, standing casual as anything, just waiting till I got within reach. He must have recognised me right away. Maybe? Surely. He waited. He watched. He readied to sink his damn teeth in all over again.
"Little bird found herself a new roost."
Shivering gripped my body.
No. Little bird. How dare he. That was what my mother called me. How dare that filthy mouth use her words. Shit. Keep it together, Sanshi. You're a trained soldier now, you take down Titans for fuck's sake. He's just a man. Just a wretched shithead of a man who should have already died but lingered on. How was that fair? So many good soldiers fell on the field every day of a mission, but that trash lingered on. Dammit. Breathe.
I gripped the uniforms as Eld came over.
He placed a hand on my shoulder. "Robyn?"
I failed to respond.
He gave my shoulder a gentle squeeze. "Robyn, do you know this–"
"She knows me well enough boy, do not interrupt."
I gritted my teeth. "S-Stop it."
He laughed. "You do not order me around, you useless little shit."
"Oi!" Eld snarled.
No, no don't get near him, Eld. He'll hurt you. Somehow. I gulped at the air, continuing to stare ahead. Crackling flames, breaking timber, stairs hitting me as I tumbled down. Fuck. Fuck stop it. Focus. You're here, now, and you're not that little girl anymore. You can fight this. You don't need to just take it, to endure. You can...
"Well at least you can aid me now." He scoffed. "More than your useless mother ever did anyway."
My head felt fit to burst as he prattled on. Tears had already started to fall hadn't they? Dammit I'm just a stupid kid still. I can't breathe.
"Get over here now."
I flinched.
He laughed. The noise rattled out of him.
Fuck, no, damn him and damn this reaction. Shit. I can't think.
"Do what you were made for." He snarled.
What I was made for? Excuse me? My temper flared.
He muttered. "Bloo–"
And that was all it took. It didn't matter what else he had to say. None of it fucking mattered.
Not the pain, not the fear, not the echoes of my mother trying to stop his fury, my brother's cries as he failed to understand what the hell was happening. No. Right now, all I needed was for it to stop.
Just make it stop.
Get rid of that little girl.
Leave her where she belonged; staring at a smouldering wreck, weeping for her dead Mother.
Make. It. Stop.
"Sanshi!"
I blinked. What? I blinked again, clearing the blearing tears and only then feeling the hands holding me at bay. Mike and Eld hauled me away from the crumpled body of that damned bastard as he lay there in a growing pool of his own blood. But the chest was still moving. The bastard was still breathing. I wriggled. I fought them. No. No, they couldn't understand. He had to–He couldn't be allowed to–Let me go! I had no idea if anything was actually leaving my mouth or not, but under their hold I could barely move. But this had to be it. I couldn't not do it now. The promise. I had to keep it. Finally I could do it. I could make it worthwhile. That I lived while they di–
"Cadet Sanshi, stop." Captain Levi was suddenly there, holding his hand out to me, glancing back at the now totally limp body behind. "Who the hell is this?"
Words choked me.
A shithead, an evil bastard, the worst kind of man who deserved nothing more than to be turned to pulp.
Please. Please let me do the world a favour and get rid of him and his shit.
Let me make it worthwhile…
"C-Captain…" I vaguely heard myself say, and his eyes returned to me, raking over me like he had no idea who I was. My strength waned. I tried to explain, to make them understand why that thing on the floor deserved to die. But that would be telling. And then they'd know. They'd see just a broken little doll, not a soldier. And once again… He would have won.
Shit…
LEVI POV
She looked straight at Levi. Without seeing, her hazel eyes pierced right through him, and seemingly out the other side, her mouth slightly ajar, brows lifting as fear consumed everything. But fear of what? The woman had defeated Titans. She had demolished twelve metre nightmares, washed the blood of comrades from her face, and held someone's hand as they died; yet in that mess-hall, hearing one voice, she looked like a child stuck in a nightmare. Levi found himself unable to move. Many had stopped to stare. But he found himself transfixed by that glassy gaze. She was somewhere else entirely. The past maybe. The far away past, more likely.
And then she changed.
The gaze hardened like steel, her teeth bared and the brows furrowed into a determined scowl. He had seen it before. Usually when she had heard of a fellow squad member being taken down by the enemy, or a couple too many Titans tried to lumber into the formation. It was as if she became affronted at that previous fear. Outraged. Daring it to try again. A smile even appeared, for the briefest second, and within that briefest second was an even briefer moment when Levi realised what he had noticed on that first day. What he feared losing when hearing of the abnormals on that mission.
She was astonishing. In every sense.
In the same moment he realised he had to get over there, to stop her doing whatever it was she planned to do. No doubt it was justified, but it complicated things. She moved. Her body curled like a spring as she turned and lunged. He tried to get to her. She gripped that old convict's throat and slammed him against the wall. One movement, crack. Like he had been nothing but a bug. Levi ran over, but Mike and Eld were closer. The convict's legs kicked uselessly and his grimy hands clawed at her arm, barely gaining purchase as she slammed him back again. Thwack. Red stained the wall as he was drawn back again. She grinned.
His voice choked. "Blood… Blood of the…" The old convict babbled before she dropped him and kicked his stomach so hard he vomited.
It had barely been two seconds, but finally Mike and Eld finally got their hands on her. Levi continued to rush through the crowd.
The convict bawled. "Damn you bitch, obey me!"
She was dragged back by Mike and Eld, looking panicked as she was subdued, her eyes wide and voice pleading. "No! G-Guys let me go. Fucking die you piece of shit, this is where I pay it back dammit, this is where I make it right! You monster! You fucking creature!"
"Bl–" she got another kick to his wrinkled face before finally she was contained, and the convict fell unconscious.
Held in Mike and Eld's grasps, Robyn watched the old man slump to the floor. But there was no victory, no relief. Just panic. Just fear and weariness. Levi arrived as the body went limp. She panted, both Mike and Eld still struggling to keep hold of her wriggling form.
"Cadet Sanshi, stop." Levi held his hands up, and her eyes finally saw him. She blinked. He looked to the convict, bleeding from his nose, mouth and back of the head. Not good. "Who the hell is this?"
"C-Captain…" She swallowed hard, mouth attempting more words as tears rolled down her cheeks, the frightened child appearing for another second before she slumped in her captors arms. Both Mike and Eld jolted as she went limp, her eyes rolling back as her mania burned through and broke out the other side to exhaustion.
"Uh…" Mike looked between her and the battered convict. "The hell…"
Levi dragged his eyes away from her suddenly peaceful face, a splatter of blood having caught along her cheek from where she had struck the old man. As much of a mess as it was, he had to put his Captain mask on. Time to clean up.
"Good work containing her. Get her to her quarters, clean her up, and bind her to the bed with some shackles."
Eld grimaced. "Sir, y'think that's really necessary?"
"She just attacked a man, half-beat him to death. Yeah. I think right now, it is. We've no idea what kind of state she'll wake up in." Levi sighed and turned to the slumped convict. "I'll get some cadets to clean this up and I'll inform Erwin. I'll be with you as soon as I can."
"Sir."
They took her away, carrying her between them despite the fact one of them could have easily lifted her slight weight. And yet, they had both struggled to contain her during the rageful episode. Levi shook his head and looked around the stunned room. He gestured two rookies forward and ordered a stretcher for the convict, then another three to get cleaning supplies.
The line of convicts, slightly scattered due to sheer terror, stared.
He clicked his tongue. "Well, y'see what that tiny soldier could do? Step out of line and it's not gonna end well. Got it?"
Nervous nods.
Levi made for Erwin's office, keen to get to Sanshi's quarters as soon as possible. What the hell had happened? What had sent her so totally over the edge? He didn't know a damn thing, except she had been blind with rage, and before that, panic. Total fear. He shuddered and tried to focus on the corridor in front of him. Seeing that look of total terror in her bright eyes was the last thing he had ever wanted to witness, and he hadn't even known it until staring it in the face.
What the hell was Robyn Sanshi doing to him?
And there we have it, Chpt 2! More to come tomorrow. Thanks for reading, faving and following ^-^ and for anyone taking the time to review! I love hearing from folks. So if you have popped a review up, keep an eye out for your shoutout in upcoming chapters. Shoutouts below!
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bechilldarling: Your enthusiasm is appreciated! I am very excited to share it with folks in all honesty! Hope you enjoyed Chpt 2!