ROBYN POV

Turns out some folks could still surprise me. The Commander seemingly had a lot of time for someone dedicated to a promise, especially one to a parent. Seemed like there was a story to be heard there, but I didn't pry. I just dipped my head and listened to the rest. I was going to be under close scrutiny for a while. My behaviour had to be the best of the best. That, or things would quickly go south for me. For the time being they were reporting it as self-defence and seemingly no one had objections to that within the witnesses that had been close enough to know what was happening. Then there was Eld and Mike, who above anything else, were apologetic they hadn't realised there was a problem quick enough. Petra didn't need an explanation, she just wanted a hug.

Maybe we were all a bit nutty.

But the biggest surprise came from the Captain, again. As I tidied away my breakfast things, cleared for being out amongst the barracks again, he asked to speak with me outside. I obliged, of course. And as I found him by the stables, I suddenly felt nervous.

"Allowed out amongst the plebs, huh?" He scanned the compound and I nodded, giving a quick salute. "As you know, I've been sorting out recruitment for my new Squad. I just informed Ral about her position–"

"Finally!" I threw my arms up. "Good choice, sir! Though… Why're you telling me?"

He frowned. "I wasn't finished."

"Ah… Fair enough, sir. Sorry, carry on."

"Thank you." He rolled his eyes. "I've decided to open the squad slightly, to test recruits on the next mission. You're going to be part of that test, if you agree that is."

I blinked.

He stared.

I frowned. "Huh? What… wait… you want me to try out for your squad? The recently revealed psycho temper?"

"I'm fairly confident I could handle you." For a moment the barest hint of a smirk appeared. "The opportunity is there, if you want it."

"I'm honoured to try, sir, just very confused."

"As long as you're not confused on the field, that's all I care about." He dipped his head and went back towards the main building. "We'll be running training exercises after lunch, don't be late. Meet at the course start line."

"Yes, sir! Thank you, sir!"

He waved without looking back and I took a moment to pinch myself. Nope. I was awake. Captain Levi wanted me on his squad. Or at least, to see if I could handle it. Damn. I didn't see that coming. The next mission was a month away, well… I say mission. It was a drill for some formation alterations. But still, we'd be headed into Titan territory.

First training session went about as well as you might expect; we were all burnt to the wick by the end of it, but reassured of why we had been chosen. We needed to work on the polish of our formation within the squad, but otherwise, we were a damn strong team. It was a large squad though, so I could only assume some wouldn't make the cut. A shame, but at the same time, to even be named as a possibility was a big win. I know I hadn't wrapped my head around it yet.

Gunter found it hilarious. "So all we had to do was go berserk and murder a guy to get noticed? Shit… Could've let us know, couldn't they?"

I kicked him in the shin as we all sat there, recuperating from our final run. "You're lucky you have a certain charm to you, or I'd kick your ass."

"Heh, I always knew he'd name you anyway." He shrugged and winked. "You've only been here six months and your record already speaks for itself. Was only a matter of time."

Petra yawned. "I had my suspicions, but knew it was pointless to say so."

I raised a brow.

She rolled her eyes. "Oh c'mon, it would have been all 'Petra you're talking nonsense! Why would the Captain want a useless rookie like me?'"

I wanted to deny it. But I had to admit, she had the impression of me down. Clearly she had been practising. So instead, I eloquently stuck out my tongue and sipped my water. Whether I knew my own strengths or not, I felt comfortable in this squad. My time on Mike's squad had been informative. Seeing the outer flanks of the formation, being on the front lines, informing others of Titans and Abnormals alike. But aside from Mike, my other squad members and I hadn't really gelled. They all knew each other from training, or from where they grew up. Being an outsider was fine. By definition that covered most Scouts anyway, but within Captain Levi's Squad – Me, Petra, Eld, Gunter, Oluo and Jack – I could sense something like 'belonging' and I hadn't felt that in a long time. Probably since Keza.

Speak of the devil and he'll crop right up, Jack sat down and chugged his water. "Fuck me sideways it's too hot for another run, dontcha think?"

The last member of the team was the one from me and Petra's class, and the one I would put in exception to the 'belonging' rule. Jack had skills, for sure. He was good with blades and fast on his gear. The issue was, he knew it. And he loved it. For some reason he seemed to think it made him some kind of irresistibly attractive Hero figure – made pretty much impossible by his vile attitude. Why he had been chosen for the team would be his skill, but I guessed him sticking around would be determined by his attitude. Patience wasn't the Captain's strong suit, and with Jack, you tended to need a lot of patience. If not endless.

I tightened my hair. "We'll go again if the Captain asks us too, not like we get to say 'I'm too tired' on the field, is it?"

"Never would have guessed you were so eager to bend to his will, Robyn, but then again there's quite a bit we don't know about you, huh?"

"As much as I don't know about you probably." I shrugged.

He leaned closer. "Nah, I'm an open book baby, ask and you shall receive."

"Then I'll ask you to back the fuck up, your tea breath is horrendous." I snorted and he glared as he returned to his normal sitting position. "I follow orders like anyone else, I object to busy-bodying. That would only rarely apply to the Captain. He's too efficient to fuck about with busy-body work. If it needs done, he'll get it done, otherwise, he'll want us out from underfoot."

"Damn, can only guess what your breath smells like with your tongue that far up his ass–oof!"

A clump of dirt somehow lodged between Jack's teeth. But somehow no one on the team saw how it happened. He glared at me. I glared right back. I was all for having a big personality and making an impression, but I'd known Jack for years. He was just mouthing off for the rest of the team.

"Get up." The Captain drawled as he landed, having presumably gone over our timings and the other notes he had been taking throughout the afternoon.

He flipped through the files and waited till we were all upright and ready. It took Jack a few more attempts to pick grass from between his teeth.

The Captain's gaze drifted over us all, impassively. "So, it wasn't a total shitshow this afternoon. Well done. Plenty promise and plenty to work on as well. I'll give you each a breakdown of what needs worked on later, no point saying it now, you're too beat to do much other than breathe and blink at this point. Main thing is, be prepared for that level or higher training daily once the upcoming leave ends, got it? I don't want whining or any of that shit. Got a problem? Drop out. I don't have time for it."

"Sir!" We all chorused, giving a salute.

He nodded. "Very well, we're done for the day. Go get cleaned up and enjoy your reprieve, but don't get too damn wasted. We have folks on patrols, but don't get carried away."

"Sir!"

And we broke, Eld and Gunter headed for the mess hall, both dying on some food, whilst Oluo and Jack headed for the gear store, taking mine and Petras for us after Oluo offered and Jack begrudgingly agreed. The Captain was fixated on his paperwork, and so me and Petra headed inside, keen to get ourselves cleaned up and ready for a night off. It didn't happen often, but occasionally a night of 'letting off steam' was allowed for a few squads, whilst everyone else remained on patrol etc. in case of sudden attack. We were always on alert since Maria fell.

I showered, and me and Petra talked shop as we washed in adjacent cubicles. She had some great insights into my technique, and thankfully I had a couple of pointers for her too. Though I admit, I think I got far more out of the exchange than she did. As we dried off and combed our hair, she patted my shoulder.

"Don't go straight down to the mess-hall, okay? I have something to give you, so just wait for me in your room."

I frowned. "Huh? What're you giving me present fo–"

"I know it's your birthday today, Dumbass." She flicked my forehead. "So don't wriggle out of this or anything like that. It's just a present, and even then it's not much. Just… something from a friend." She winked and walked away before I could get a damn word out.

I went to my room, changed and sat in front of my mirror brushing my hair, leaving it loose tonight, damp and slightly wavy against my shoulders. Another birthday. But it was the first I didn't have to feel guilty about. I smiled and closed my eyes for a moment, thinking of the vague impression I had of my mother's face, and of the sound of my brother's laughter. Finally. The promise was kept. Maybe now I could properly start looking forward? Maybe. One day at a time. I opened my eyes again and reached for the red ribbon – I had no idea where Keza was in our small walled-world, but I knew she would be wearing her ribbon today, it was our own promise to keep. I wound the silk round my wrist and tied it off, tucking the knot under and holding the arm out in front of me.

"Wherever we are, Numbnuts, let's wear these on our birthdays okay?"

"Keza, how we even gonna know that we're doing it?"

"Well I guess we ain't, but fuck you if you don't!" She laughed and kissed my forehead. "It's just something to keep us connected, yeah? Even if you've gone and got yourself killed by being a dumbass soldier, I can wear this and think of your stupid self."

"Fine… Love you Keza."

"Too damn right you do, Numbnuts. But still… Love you too, Robyn."

I sat back and sighed, we were ridiculous, but I missed that woman every damn day. Someday I would have to go searching in the interior, maybe even the Commander could help, he had to have contacts that far in. She would still be around. But I doubted she was still working in Kilan's bar. No, she'd be some elite girl now, flitting between one high-powered client and the next. I smirked. No doubt half the walls were being secretly run by my friend, fluttering her lashes in the right places.

A knock sounded at the door.

"Come on in Petra."

"Had to make sure you were decent." She chuckled, coming inside, her own civilian clothing much like my own. Plain, simple, but the mere fact it wasn't uniform made it look a little odd on us when you first saw it. She suited the floatier blouse though, matched the prettiness of her heart-shaped face.

"Me? Decent? What a wretched thing to suggest." I got up and pulled her into a hug. "I'm sorry I don't know when your birthday is, but I appreciate you taking note of mine."

"You're not the type to go prying, and in all honesty, I don't want you knowing." She laughed. "I wanna stay a teenager forever in your head."

"Hah, how unfair." I let go and ruffled her hair. "So what is this entirely unnecessary gift?"

She held out a small package, fitting into her palm, wrapped in plain brown paper, but with my name written on the top in the loveliest handwriting I'd ever seen. I took it and my cheeks were on fire. She was the sweetest person. Carefully I unwrapped it and smiled as a small pin was revealed, in the shape of a robin on a branch.

"Petra this is gorgeous!"

"I asked my Mother to have a look in the market for me and I thought it would be a nice personal touch for you." She was blushing so brightly.

I pinned it onto my shirt and we headed downstairs, my arm through hers, following the hubbub of noise into the mess hall. Nights like this were rare, but they helped maintain morale. It was just a damn good stroke of luck, for once, that it had landed on my birthday. Petra sat by Eld, and I scooted in beside her, with Mike on the other side of me. He smirked and allowed me a little more room on the bench. Generous.

Hanji appeared with bottles of homebrew and distributed them around, asking repeatedly for folks to give back their detailed reports on the booze's effects by morning. We all hummed in agreement, already too busy filling our glasses, all knowing reports would vary between 'not so early, Hanji, fuck off', and 'yeah… I think it was great… why're the walls still wobbling?'.

I tapped my glass against Petra's and Mike's, about to take a sip when Petra stood and cleared her throat. She grinned at me. Oh god no. I shook my head and she winked. I tried to hide behind Mike, but he grinned as well. The bastards had cornered me.

"Attention!" She called sweetly, raising her glass and looking around at the few tables of expectant faces. "I just wanted to take a second to raise my glass and wish our wonderful Robyn Sanshi a very happy birthday!"

A general cheer went up, and glasses raised all around. I smiled and gave a small wave, shrinking into my seat as much as possible without actually ending up under the table. But at that point, it sounded like a good idea. Well wishes were called over, some even came across to pat me on the shoulder or give a quick one armed hug. Hanji charged across and nearly pulled me out of my seat with her energetic affection, and Mike gave me a little kiss on the head once I had been helped upright after Hanji. Nanaba kept refilling my glass as soon as it hit even halfway emptied, and Gunter kept trying to guess my age, but the more he drank the more varied it became. Petra gave him a shove when he suggested forty. Cheeky shit!

About an hour later, the room was appropriately buzzed all round, and folks had begun to break off into their own little groups. Petra was busy debating with Oluo whether or not one of them out-ranked the other. And Eld was showing people the sketch of himself and his girl he'd had done last time he spent time at home. Thankfully he had listened when she suggested two copies for him to take with him. One safe in his room, and one gradually being smudged by his repeated showings and viewings. I smirked and traced my ribbon.

How're you doing Keza? Living life to the fullest no doubt, probably having some man drooling at your feet in this moment, telling him to get another bottle of the fancy red stuff. I smiled, wiped a tear from the corner of my eye and sought out the bottle to refill my glass.

Then someone did it for me.

I jolted and looked up at the stoic face of Captain Levi, his eyes focused on the liquid before he filled his own glass and sat down opposite. He loosened his cravat and perched one foot up onto the bench, arm slung over his raised knee, every bit the casual comrade. Kind of.

He nudged his drink against mine. "Happy Birthday, Brat."

"Thanks, sir." I smirked. "Is there a specific age where we can graduate beyond being a brat?"

His nose wrinkled slightly before he took a sip and it did so even more. "It's not about age."

"Ah, doomed to forever be a brat then, I get it."

"How old are you anyway?" His eyes ran over me and I tilted my head, he looked to the side.

"How old are you, sir?"

He clicked his tongue. "Not what I asked."

"Nope, but it's what I'm asking." I leaned forward and peered, scrunching my eyes and nose alike as I tried to pluck a number from the air. He sat still, eyes meeting mine, one brow slightly raised almost as if he was amused. "I'd guess… late… twenties…"

"Well that was vague." He rolled his eyes. "But not incorrect."

"Hah! Well, Gunter here thinks I'm either forty, or fifteen, he keeps changing his answer." I leaned back and spread my arms out behind Petra and Mike to avoid slapping anyone. "Any thoughts, Captain?"

He took a second and studied me, expression as unreadable as ever, eyes eventually landing back on mine and narrowing slightly. He set his glass down. "Mid twenties."

"Vague." I rolled my eyes dramatically, sitting forward again and leaning on the table by my elbows. "But not incorrect."

His eyes tightened. "What's with the ribbon?"

I played with the silken material and smiled. "A token between me and a friend."

He nodded and left it at that, Mike suddenly re-entering the conversation, mumbling something before slinging his arm around me and hugging tight. Big oaf. We talked, we laughed – the Captain smirked, at least – and the evening carried on well into the small hours. Petra stumbled off to bed, Hanji alongside, both helping each other up the stairs with various giggles and false starts between them. Mike was asleep on the table, Nanaba draped over him, snoring against his shoulder blades. Gunter and Eld had ended up outside singing a folk song, and Oluo was under a bench snoring loudly.

The Captain emptied the last bottle into our glasses, his cravat gone, shirt unbuttoned slightly, hair slightly dishevelled. I think it was the most human I had ever seen him, and it only took five, seven, three dozen or a million, I lost count, drinks. He really wasn't half bad looking. Handsome even. Aw crap. Don't do that brain. He's my Captain. My? No, the Captain. Ugh I think I'm drunk.

He ran a hand through his hair and frowned. "Dumbass."

I jolted and pointed a finger at him. "Me?"

He reached and turned the finger towards me instead. "Not what I said. Don't point."

"Fine. But who's a dumbass?"

"No one." He shook his head and drained his glass. "Damn astonishing…"

"Asstonishhing?"

He blinked and stood from his seat. "Yeah?"

"Nice word." I smiled, propping my head up on one hand. "But what's asstonishhing?"

He frowned and shook his head, blinking hard. "You're so annoying. No clue."

I sat up and pouted. "Huh?"

"Never mind." He waved a hand and headed for the stairs. "Don't sleep down here, Robyn."

Did he just use my first name?

When I raised my head from where it had slumped against the table again, he was already halfway up the stairs. I shook my head and peeled myself from the table, narrowly avoided joining the dog-pile on top of Mike and got myself a big drink of water. It likely wouldn't help much, but it was worth a try. My teeth felt weird. I ascended the stairs and paused on the first floor, by the large windows where the moonlight was pouring in, pooling over the stonework and just generally looking far too pretty.

I perched on a window sill and looked up at the clear sky. I tapped the small warped window pane where the moon wobbled.

"Happy Birthday to me." I chuckled and took a long breath. Promise kept. Time to keep moving forward, and maybe one day find Keza again. Yeah, that would be nice. I smiled and kissed my fingertips before tapping them against the moon-filled window pane again.

"Sanshi?"

I stood from the sill, straight to attention with salute in place as the voice of the Commander warbled over to me. He hadn't joined in the festivities of course, but was still awake, of course. He approached, paperwork in hand, brows set into an almost frown. What did that man look like when he laughed?

"Sir." I nodded and lowered my hand from my salute, having accidentally punched myself in the boob at the same time. But I'm sure he didn't notice. Maybe.

He looked beyond me, towards the stairs. "Enjoy the evening of revelry?"

"Yup!" I coughed. "I mean, yes, sir!"

"Indeed. How awake are you?"

The seriousness of his tone was like a bucket of cold tea to wake me up. I blinked and looked up at him, tilting my head and frowning. "Sorry sir, I'm fine. Is there an issue?"

He raised a brow. "You sober quickly."

"Very good at momentary focus, sir." I smiled and then cleared my throat. "Can I help with something?"

"I've been going over the plans for the upcoming mission, for testing squads and the changes to my formation. And I've decided you'll be staying behind for barracks maintenance."

The words sunk in slowly, like sugar soaking up tea when you gently lowered the spoon in bit by bit. Crystals dissolving, turning brown, slipping to nothing. Well, shit. I looked down at my boots and then took a long breath. Left behind? But I was meant to be trying out for the Captain's squad, I was in the formation with Petra, we had our signals in place and ready to go.

"Can I ask why?" I kept my eyes low, not wanting him to notice how they had watered. I'm tired, a bit drunk and have been blindsided by this kick to the teeth, so yeah, I'm a little emotional. Silly me thought there was real progress being made, real advancement.

"Your recent familial incident has brought to light concerns on your conduct."

I winced. "Have I ever given you reason to doubt me on the field, sir?"

"No, your record is strong, but this–"

"Then please consider the recent issue a self-contained one." I sniffed and cleared my throat when my voice came out thickened. "Permission to speak freely, sir?"

He sighed. "Very well."

"I've worked my arse off since I signed up after the fall of Maria sir, and all with the goal of being out there and getting some damn land back for us shitty humans. Being part of missions is part of that goal. And being on the Captain's squad isn't vital for that, no, but me being out there as part of the mission is. Please. I know I screwed up, but my anger was only on him, sir. I'd never lash out like that against a fellow Scout. Sure I sass a bit and maybe I'm a bit of an arse all round, but I'd never hurt them unless in like self-defence or something." I looked up and sighed at his unmoved expression. "I just want to be part of the solution, sir. That's all. But okay… Trust is needing rebuilt… I get it. Sorry, I'll… I'll inform the Captain in the morning."

He watched me for a few moments, which felt like an hour as my heart raced and the walls pulsed – though how much that was due to my panic, watering eyes, or the drink, I had no idea. But when it felt like I was just standing in his way, I moved, readying to head to my bunk and scream into my damned pillow. Well done Vincent, you're still messing with my damned life. And you're fucking dead.

"Sanshi."

I stopped and stared down the corridor, swallowing hard and wiping my face before turning and giving another salute. "Sir."

"You may go on the mission, but if I hear of any poor conduct, you will be kept from missions until further notice." He frowned. "You worry me, Sanshi. You're a good soldier, but keep those emotions in check out there, for yourself and your team. Understood?"

"Y-Yes, sir." I smiled and looked down for a second. "I won't let you or the Scouts down, sir!"

"Good night, Cadet. Good luck with the hangover in the morning."

"Thank you." I scurried to my room and leaned against the door once inside. That had been close.

Thank you for reading, faving and following! Any reviews shall be responded to as I go along! So shoutouts below!

SHOUTOUTS:

Chrissykinz6: Hi there, glad to have you back for a second go around haha! I'm so glad you enjoyed the first version ^-^ I still love it as well. As for your question, I can't really answer that without major spoilers, but what I will say is that this one will be ending far further along in the story, so naturally things will be different. I also intend for a lot of the story before that to be different as well (some elements will be lighter all round, some won't, but there is going to be changes throughout!). But the ending of the first version was also quite rushed for me. I got into a bad place of only writing the story for the sake of reviews, and that didn't work out as they got fewer and fewer. This is not the case this time round! I have written this new version for myself, and am simply sharing it on the off-chance some folks will enjoy. I have the ending planned, and it has been planned since I started actually writing this new version. So whether it's happy or not, I won't say, but I will say that it'll be a lot more rounded than last time. Many folks don't seem to have a problem with how I finished off the last one, but it's always bugged me, as I essentially condensed 10 chpts of content into a couple out of sheer impatience. So yeah, sorry it's not a straight "yes" or "no" response, but again, don't want to spoil it! ^-^ Hope the answer wasn't disappointing for you, and sincerely hope you enjoy the rest of the rewrite! Thanks for chiming in!