And now we shift to weekly updates! I shall be posting on Fridays from here on ^-^ Enjoy!

ROBYN POV

All right, time to mould these kids into my new team. They did not look impressed. And in all honesty, my sentiment was the same. Isla Benon stood at an inch or so taller than me, lean, long blonde hair and striking blue eyes, had better things to be doing apparently. She had given a half-assed salute when I called for attention, and seemed to be barely paying attention to my introduction and explanation of why this was all happening. I'd been honest. I wasn't sure why I had been selected, but I'd do my damned best to make this the best team possible. But I couldn't do that alone. We needed to be a team. Apparently she wasn't all that interested, and now I had to wonder if she had ended up on my team due to no one else wanting to deal with her damned attitude. But moving on.

Next was Nadia Teron; essentially a copy-cat to Isla as much as the girl could manage. Her mouse-brown hair was about as long, braided in the same fashion, and her brown eyes always fluttered in the same way, despite the difference in colour. She stood like Isla, tried to talk like her as well when she was paying attention. They even laughed the same. I assumed they had been friends since training, but it was hard to tell who Isla considered anything but a bug beneath her boot. Or maybe that was just me and I was projecting. Entirely possible.

Then came the boys. Jacob Taten and Jon Stak; Jacob was a good kid, I had done stable duty and patrols with him a few times already and we got along fine. He wasn't anything to write home about, but he was diligent and had good attention to detail, so that would help. Jon on the other hand was pissed. A full-on glare creased his brow from the moment he had arrived, to now when I was readying my training outline to hand out to them. Something was under his skin. If it was important, I would just have to trust that he would spill it eventually. And if not, I couldn't have cared less.

"All right, so this is what I have in mind for us. The primary focus is going to be–"

Isla laughed at the parchment. "Why the fuck are we running so many drills? We are more than capable of using our gear, y'know? You're not the only one who's been on a few missions. Some of us have even been on them and not been injured."

Deep breath, Sanshi.

I attempted a smile, but it was likely closer to a snarl if I'm honest. "If you would let me finish my explanation, I'll tell you. Okay?"

Isla nodded, not covering the rolled eyes very well.

I cleared my throat. "So the focus I have for the time being is team-work. It's one thing to be able to fly effectively by yourself, but out there I want us to be a tight-knit unit, playing off of each other's strengths."

"Which of course you have loads of." Isla giggled.

I sighed. "Okay, I can't put up with this catty shit. What's the problem?"

Isla blinked. She looked to Nadia who also just blinked. Jon raised a brow while still somehow still glaring. And Jacob just bit his lip and looked down, scuffing the dirt with his boot.

I put my hands on my hips and readied myself for my first official 'squad leader' dress down. "I get that you don't like me for some damned reason Isla, and presumably that means Nadia doesn't as well. Jon your face has got to be hurting by now from all that glaring. But Jacob calm down okay? We seem good."

Jacob gave a little nod and seemed more at ease. The others however, looked affronted.

Jon puffed up his chest. "Don't go pretending you don't know what you fuckin–"

"I don't know, so spit it out or quit pouting."

He gritted his teeth. "You've dragged Jack's name through the god damned mud. He's a good soldier, and you've turned a couple mistakes into this huge deal and it's bullshit. You've screwed up, I've seen you screw up. So why's he gotta be raked over the coals?"

Oh. Well at least that explained the glaring, despite the anger being rather misplaced. There was no telling what angle Jack had spun on things. No doubt I was the villain of the tale every single time. Idiot. Still, that wasn't Jon's fault. Then again, he had decided to go all-in on his friends bullshit, so bugger it, I could be a bit petty back.

"A couple of mistakes it putting it pretty damn lightly, he–"

"He's good on his gear! I've seen it."

"Regardless, he nearly got me, Petra and Captain Levi killed." I snapped and he curled his lip, about to go off again, but I kept going. "You're buddies, right? I get it. But have you ever actually been on a team with him? Not just nearby, but actually on the same team?"

He folded his arms. "No."

"No, so you have no real idea what he's like in the heat of the moment. And I can tell you right now, that yes he is skilled at what he does, but he doesn't take into account the team-mates around him. He goes in like he's running a solo mission and that nearly wiped us out."

Jon's knuckles paled. "Not how he tells it."

"I'm sure. I'm also sure he claims I'd never admit he's a decent soldier or anything like that. But I do. He has skill, when he's good he's a damn credit to the regiment, but when he's sloppy he let's it get the better of him and then he chases the glory to make up for that fact. Can you honestly claim, as his friend, to have never seen him be a bit of a glory whore?"

The seconds ticked by.

Jon's glare smoothed a little.

His arms unfolded. "Maybe… He said you had it out for him from the start. That you'd just throw him under the waggon for the sake of your place on the Levi squad."

"And yet…" I threw my arms out. "Here we are. I'm not even on the Levi squad, and I will happily point out his strengths. It's almost like he's just a bit grumpy over the fact I had to save his life due to his fuck-up and he never managed the glory kill to overshadow that fact."

Again, the seconds ticked by. I knew Jon wouldn't go back on all of it right now, he seemed too loyal a friend to do that, but at least I had wiggle room. For now, that would do.

I dipped my head. "Thanks for the honesty, Jon. And if there's another issue like that, please bring it to my attention so we can talk it out. Got it?"

He frowned and looked around the group. "Y'ain't punishing me for speaking out of turn?"

"I asked a question and you answered. Simple." I nodded again and looked to Isla and Nadia. "So, you two?"

Isla sneered. "I just don't feel like pretending this is anything more than bullshit."

"What? Me being a squad leader?"

She nodded and cocked her hip out at an impressive angle. "Precisely. We all know how you got this post, and I don't respect it for a damn second. It's cheap."

Once again, I was bloody lost.

I looked to the others, but other than Nadia seemingly trying to deduce how Isla had accomplished such an angle with her hip, they looked as confused as I felt.

Another deep breath.

I gestured to Isla. "By all means, spell it out."

"Oh come on!" She scoffed. "You fucked your way into this posting."

Now, I want full credit. I tried. I really bloody did, with every fibre of my being. But I couldn't help it; I bellowed with laughter. It was impossible not to. I clutched my gut and immediately had tears springing to my eyes. Jacob tittered behind his hand. Even Jon seemed to be trying to repress a giggle.

Nadia just pouted and played her part. "Why're you laughing? It's totally what you did!"

"Oh yes." I snorted. "Me and my womanly wiles just swanned into the Commander's office and clambered on into his lap to ride my way into this position." I tried to heave in a full breath. "You're fucking daft!"

"Guys, seriously." Jacob chimed in, shaking his head. "That is so not her style, I also dunno that it would even work on the Commander? He's not exactly that kinda guy. Doesn't seem like it at least. Then again I'm not his type in all likeliness so…"

"How would you know?" Isla snapped. "Why else would they give her a team?"

"She's got a decent record and it likely helps to keep training new leaders in case the current ones don't come home." Jacob shrugged, making a lot of sense, and actually helping me understand the situation a little better myself. "And to be honest… Even if she did fuck her way into the post, why do you care?"

Isla wrinkled her nose. "Excuse me?"

"Why do you care? She might make a great team leader, you have no idea whether she will or not. So let's see how this goes, then if she's crap, get pissy about why she got chosen."

Nadia laughed. "What, is she fucking you too?"

Jacob pinked. "I'm just saying guys… She has good instincts, I've been on patrol with her a few times, and she works damn hard whenever we've been on stable duty."

I raised a hand and they looked at me finally. "Also, who the hell has all this energy for all this fucking you're accusing me of?"

Isla rolled her eyes. Nadia looked confused. Jon hung his head and had a little giggle to himself, and Jacob just shook his head at me like he had many times before.

I clapped my hands together. "Right, let's get some bloody training in before we lose the light."

"Whatever." Isla sighed, checking her gear.

"Uhuh, gimme a couple of days at least, Isla. Then you can go complain to my various conquests about how ineffective I am as a leader as opposed to a cum-bucket."

Nadia choked and Jon fully lost it. At least I seemed to have the boys on my side for the time being, even if only until I had shown myself to be totally incompetent. But then again, they should say something if that was the case. The last thing I wanted to do was get someone killed by my own inadequacy.

"So! First run I want you to just do manoeuvres like you usually would, then I can see where we can build from. Got it?"

They agreed, though some were more begrudging than others obviously.

And we were off.

The first few runs were about as informative as they could have been; immediately I could see where everyone would fit inside the team, and I had to give credit where it was due, the Commander knew how to build a skill-set. Or it was luck. Regardless, I had a good foundation to work from. So after three or four runs of the course, I asked them to do a couple of drills in varying formations. More and more I could see how they worked together, and what pair-ups simply didn't work. As bratty as they had been, they were good soldiers. Isla had a knack for last minute speed. Nadia was good at keeping her distance but also being precisely where she needed to be in the important moments. Jon was a solid follow-through when it came to killing blows, and Jacob was fantastic at general support. As we landed again, I felt myself become a little less unsure. In fact, it almost felt like it could actually work.

"Great work guys, take five and have some water."

They nodded and either slumped to the ground, leaned against fences, or just hung their heads back. Safe to say, I was running them a little ragged today. But this was the time for information gathering. After this it would be far more streamlined. But at least they wouldn't be able to suggest I was lacklustre.

As I took my own break, slurping my water oh-so-elegantly, the Captain walked past. Eyes forward, clearly on his way to the stables – too busy for interruption, as usual. But due to my own curiosity, as well as the team's insinuations about my new post, I had to ask. I wanted to know from the source why he had removed me from his team.

"I'll be right back, need to bend the Captain's ear for a minute."

They waved me away like an irritating fly.

I ran after him, catching him just outside the stables.

"Sir!" I called, but he kept moving. "Captain Levi, sir!"

He stopped and his shoulders moved with a heavy sigh. Pleased to hear my voice, clearly. It was tempting to just turn away, to forget the want to ask and get out while I still could, but the bored expression he gave when he turned lit a fire in my gut. He could explain himself. In fact, no. He should explain himself.

His stoic eyes scanned me. "Yes, Sanshi? Don't you have a team to be training?"

"Yes, sir. But that's kind of what I wanted to talk to you about."

He waited.

I swallowed, my throat suddenly feeling bone dry. "It's about the squads, sir."

"What about them?" He folded his arms. "If you have a point, Sanshi, get to it."

Obviously his impatience wasn't anything new, it seemed to come easily to him whenever I was involved. But the hostility was strange. Like I'd offended him by even being nearby. It wasn't like I thought I had been a perfect squad member on that mission, far from it, but had I fucked up so badly that he genuinely hated my presence?

I sighed and tried to gather my thoughts, to get to the point, as he so wished. "Why did you remove me from your squad?"

He blinked. "You were given your own team, would have been difficult to do that from within mine, no?"

Well that was evasive.

I looked at my boots. "Sure, but it seemed strange that I was given my own team when being–"

"It's a good thing, Sanshi. Just enjoy it and make the most of it." He rolled his eyes. "You have a real tendency to overthink."

"So why didn't you tell me yourself?"

Silence hung there for a mere moment, barely a pause, but something about the way his jaw tightened at the same time as his eyes made me feel like I'd gotten closer to the core of the issue. Something was there. I didn't know what, but it lingered unsaid, unseen. It was hardly a stretch to consider that the Commander would do his comrade a favour, they had known each other for a long time. Had I been removed from Captain Levi's squad and given my own simply to avoid this 'thing' being voiced? Whatever the hell it was.

He shook his head. "I've more pressing matters than micro-managing every tiny squad decision. It's my team, but it's Erwin's regiment. Leave it at that, Sanshi. And get back to work."

Clearly I wasn't going to get anywhere. Whatever the hell he had an issue with, it went deep enough to remove me from his team. As long as it saved lives, that was okay by me. But while I had him here, cornered, I could at least get some use out of his experience.

"Fine." I pursed my lips. "Sorry for taking up your time, sir. Can I ask one more question?"

"Get on with it."

"Any advice on leading a team, sir?"

His brows raised as he unfolded his arms. "Don't get attached."

I jolted. It wasn't that I had expected him to say 'make them your new family' or something, but the coldness struck deep. Petra's face flashed before my eyes, alongside Gunter and Eld. Would they be callously cast aside under his care? But it didn't fit. As a Captain he was cold, sure. But on the field, I had seen it for myself, he cared. I had been swallowed, easily assumed as dead, so why had he come to save me? If he wasn't attached then–

"You'll lose your damn mind if you lose one of them, Sanshi. Holding yourself accountable for their fates isn't going to help you, or them." He glared, clearly taking my silence as an objection. Which I guess it kind of was. "You're their leader, not their mother."

"But–"

"But nothing." He stepped closer, glaring harder. "You lead them. They trust you to do so. Stay alive, come back. That's the goal here, Sanshi."

"I thought it was to take back Wall Maria."

"Can't do that from the flat of your back as worm food." He muttered, stepping away, looking to the side for a moment as if confused at himself. Which would have been good, as I know I was lost.

I stepped back. "Thank you, sir. I'll… I'll keep that in mind."

"Do that."

And he walked away, or stormed away might have been more appropriate. Whether he admitted it or not, something had changed between me and him since that mission. We had hardly been close before, but I had felt we could converse easily enough, in a civil manner. Now? Not so much. Something I had done had seriously pissed him off, or put him off me, or something like that. I hated it. Mainly because he didn't even have the decency to explain it. That way, I couldn't do a damn thing. If I even wanted to. Admitting to having fucked up came easily to me, I had plenty practise. But if no one let me in on the big secret of what I had done? Well, I couldn't be faulted for not knowing the issue.

Aside from that… Why the hell did I care so damned much?

Having gathered a bunch of information on my new Squad, we began to refine our runs along the tracks. More teamwork less guess-work. I worked well with them all in different ways, despite initial differences, and they seemed really adaptable on who to work with when. Speed. Precision. Instinct. They were excelling at them all, and soon enough we were even refining our signals. I had expected many things from this process; headaches, pains in the ass, so many eye rolls and of course plenty bruised egos. But I hadn't expected this much ease in the overall teamwork. Guess the universe had decided to give me a little break for once.

Beyond the manoeuvres though, we were still on shaky ground. The Commander had emphasised a need for trust within this new squad and so far, that was not a priority. They followed orders, yes. Acted as a team, for sure. But the second they landed, that was it. And as much as I could hope for the teamwork to last an entire mission, I didn't want them suddenly disbanding the second we reached a camp or took a breather. It had to go that bit deeper. Fair enough Gunter, Eld, Petra and Oluo were pretty exceptional in their closeness. A kind of family. But surely I could aim for a fraction of that? Maybe?

Then again, was that making it too personal?

Don't get attached.

Get out of my head, dammit!

We still had time to get some bonding done, between me and them of course, but mainly I wanted them to be bonded. As a group they could do a lot with that extra level of understanding. So often I had managed to predict what Petra needed on patrol simply due to knowing her so well. Sometimes before she even knew she needed it.

But how do I help them do tha–

"Robyn?" Jon spoke from across the dinner table, another hard day's training behind us, the rain having started to come on. "Can I uh… Can I ask you a question?"

I blinked. "Of course. This a training question or personal?"

"Is only the former allowed?" He looked very unsure of himself, which wasn't often the case.

"No, no, carry on. If I don't wanna answer, I can always say so." I shrugged. "Go ahead."

"Well we were wondering about your uh… Your last mission?"

I lowered my fork. "Oh. Yeah?"

"Well… At the time, a whole bunch of rumours went around when you guys got back, but can you tell us what actually happened out there? I only really have Jack's take on things…"

Seemed like Jon was starting to have doubts about his buddy.

He continued. "I mean, the Captain Levi got injured, some were even saying he got proper grabbed by a Titan. Is any of it true?"

It made sense for them to be so curious about this. Captain Levi was a symbol of strength, an example of the unbreakable Scout. Whenever he got a bruise there was a reaction around camp, let alone when he came back in the back of a waggon patched up and unconscious.

Nadia cleared her throat. "Jack said you fucked it all up." She frowned. "But he is always talking crap, so I know a lot of us wondered if it might be the other way around? You mentioned something like that when we started but… yeah."

I simpered at her. "Knew you were a sharp one."

She snorted and looked down. "Mm, I have my moments."

Clearly they wanted the story, and I liked to think it was for more than gossiping rights.

I took a long sip of my tea. "Essentially, I did fuck up, but not in the way Jack is talking…"

And I told them. I broke it all down and made sure to make it clear what went wrong and how. Sure it was painting Jack in a bad light, but only because he had been a total moron. I gave no embellishments, only the truth. And even when describing the incorrect moves made, I ensured it was done in a tactical sense. This wasn't about dragging anyone's name through the mud, Jack did that on his own without need for help. And by the time I reached the point where I was almost swallowed by the Titan, I had them all hooked, on the edge of their seats. Seemed I had a knack for story-telling.

"How the hell did you even hold on?" Isla looked me over, nose wrinkled in suspicion. "It must have been scorching in there."

"Mm, it was. I was covered in burns because of it. But in all honesty I'm not sure how I held on, I just did. Pure instinct seems to be the answer. But if Captain Levi hadn't got there when he did and hauled me out, I'd have definitely–"

Nadia gasped. "Wait, he pulled you out of the mouth?"

"Well he didn't put me back in again, no." I chuckled and she looked baffled. "I dunno what possessed him to try that hard to get a squad member back, but he did and… Well it's the only reason I'm alive today. After that, he got grabbed by the beast and it buggered his ribs. So, yeah, he did get grabbed but only because of my idiotic arse." I ran a hand through my hair and shook my head, unable to avoid the swell of shame that bubbled in my chest. Such a stupid near-miss.

They were all very quiet after that, and in all honesty I assumed that I had gone and put the nail in the coffin for any respect they might have been gaining for me. Nearly got Humanity's Strongest killed? What kind of squad leader was that? Should have been locked up, not given her own squad.

I clicked my tongue, wishing the doubts weren't always so loud.

When I looked up at them again though, I found them quite solemn, but not glaring. Well, except Isla, but that wasn't exactly a surprise. The rest of them gave me little nods and returned to eating. Isla continued to glare. I met her gaze and she pursed her lips tighter. Was she spacing out? Or was she trying to burn a hole through my skull by sheer force of will? I'd never known her as a Captain super-fan, but then again, not many new recruits weren't.

"Isla, I get that you're pissed but can you–"

"You so freely admit it." She muttered, glaring down at the table instead. "How? How do you-you… when you usually come across so-so how do you…"

I looked to the other three for translation, but they seemed as lost as myself.

She sighed. "Seems I misjudged you, Robyn."

"Oh! Not uh… Not where I thought that was going at all." I laughed a little nervously, her intense expression still not softening. "Can I ask how?"

"You always seemed so full of shit."

Oh. Goody?

She continued. "But you're… You're just blunt. You're honest to a fault actually, so any pretence I think is just me having misread stuff."

"Well I wouldn't say any pretence. Everyone has a little bit." I smiled softly and she almost mirrored it before shaking her head and frowning again. I held my hands up to her. "What's with the death stare?"

"You must have known half the shit that was being said about you at the time, why didn't you say anything? We were all led to believe such bullshit."

"Not my job to clear up rumours." I shrugged. "Honestly, anyone that doesn't have the sense to at least come to the source and ask for their side of things, their opinion isn't gonna matter much to me, now is it?"

She breathed through her nose and shook her head. "Damn nuisance."

"Ah yes, you got me there."

And you know what? On some strange level I think she liked me a little better after that. And all I had to do was give a detailed account of how badly I'd fucked up on a mission. Who knew! I finished my dinner, the whole time my mind buzzing with the revisited details of that damned mission. So close to losing our Captain. So close to being dead myself. Damn. Too close. I wished my team a good night and headed for the training room, needing to blow off some steam before sleep could even be attempted.

"Don't go at it too hard!" Petra called as she headed out on patrol with Eld.

I waved and kept going, changed into my workout gear, ready to sweat myself into a coma if need be. Sometimes to shut the shadows up, you just needed to give a punch-bag a good beating.

Not the healthiest approach I'm sure.

But I'm not exactly aiming to be a golden example either.

I hope you've enjoyed the story so far! I'm loving being able to share it with you guys ^-^ thanks for reading, faving and following, shoutouts below!

Le Weeb: I'm so glad you enjoyed the first version, and I sincerely hope you continue to enjoy this new one! I'm rather thrilled folks that read the first version are interested enough to give the new version a shot! ^-^ thanks so much!