ROBYN POV

They offered me a waggon, but I refused. Fair enough, ship me off to the training camp for some semi-forced "leave" to babysit some kids, but don't pretend I'm too injured to ride a damn horse. I set my pack onto the saddle bags and double checked my equipment. My ODM gear was coming along for the ride, if only for the 'just in case' scenario of another breach. It was a horrifying thought, but not a possibility we could ignore.

The rest of the barracks was just waking up. Smoke rose from the kitchen chimneys, and someone had already managed to over-brew the tea. I hauled myself into the saddle and patted my horse's neck. We'd be at the training ground by dark, at the latest. Hanji had come to bid me farewell, same with Petra and Mike. Apparently Jack continued to complain in the cells, and refused to admit to any wrong-doing. But he could stew down there indefinitely for all I cared. As long as he was kept away from other potential victims. Hane – I eventually got the name to stick – was doing well. Though after saying thank you to me, and me persuading her to put herself ahead of the regiment, she hadn't met my eye. The sense of shame unnerved me, but it would take time. Everyone handled such things differently. She would get through. Judging from the group of cadets by her room, going in and out, she had a solid group of friends.

"Don't be too troublesome to Shadis." Mike rumbled with a smirk, holding the reins for me as I adjusted my cloak. "You're meant to be encouraging sign ups, not pissing off the brass."

"Hey now, Shadis loved me when I was a trainee…" I winked. "I think."

"Sure he did. Same with how he adored Hanji's endless rambling when he was commander."

"Exactly!"

Hanji stuck out her tongue. "Well at least I know how to make a damn impression without sniffing people!"

"No, you just study them and prod them with medical equipment."

"Oi!" I laughed at them. "Cut the bickering, don't have me worrying what I'm coming back to after these two weeks. I want this place still standing and fully functional."

Mike nodded. "Yeah, of course. I'll keep an eye on your squad as well."

"Thanks, Isla needs some help with her manoeuvres."

"I'll see to it." Mike handed me the reins and smiled a little sadly. "Now go rest up."

They all worried far too much.

The ride was pleasant; a breeze kept the heat to a minimum and I made good time, enough to stop and have my lunch by the side of the road instead of trying to eat on horseback. I could, but it was a pain to do so. My horse drank at the stream beside us, and I enjoyed my bread and cheese, laying back for a second to let my back relax. It was only bruising, but the shift of a horse's gait did eventually take a toll. But I still didn't need the damn waggon. I smirked as two birds flew overhead and the grass nearby swayed, tickling my cheek. Out here, on the road to the training camp, I could almost forget everything. It would be easy to imagine myself returned to those early days, laughing with Keza, hiding out in the crop fields, watching the sun go down before we snuck into a nearby barn to sleep for the night. Maybe I should try looking for her. It had been nearly four years. How was she doing? Had the job worked out? No doubt she had done well, given enough time, she could turn straw into gold.

I smiled and sat up as my horse gave a huff and whinny.

Time to move on.

Another hour or so later and I could see the vague shape of the training grounds in the distance. They had chosen such a dusty spot for it, but I suppose it kept things fairly standard all year round. The woodland was to the west, tall trees standing strong. Despite the bruising, the berating, the headaches and the never-ending blisters, I had enjoyed my time as a trainee. Despite being one of the older sign-ups, attending training had been one of the first times I felt like I really belonged somewhere. Blades in hand, gear on my hips; I found a real 'home'. What that meant for my brain, I had no idea. But the fact I was able to smile broadly and take pride in what I was doing would have pleased my mother, even if she would have wavered at the violence and the need to risk my life. But it couldn't be all sunshine and roses. Not in this world.

Some cadets were in the watchposts, and as I approached I could see them scrambling a bit on what to do. Good to know the training was going well at least. I snorted at my own sass and halted my horse, to give a wave to the panicked newbies.

They looked at each other and then to me. "Uh… Who goes there?"

Wow. I lowered my hand and gave a salute. "Robyn Sanshi of the Scouting Regiment. Here on behalf of my regiment to meet the latest class, the uh… 104th, I think?"

"Right! Uhm… Does Commandant Shadis know you're coming?"

An impatient bark sounded from round the corner. "Laps, the lot of you! Not a damn one of you has a musket trained on her, and you looked like panicked rabbits, not guards. Laps till dinner. Go!"

Ah. It had been quite a while since I heard those dulcet tones.

I got my horse moving again. As he came into view, for a moment I felt like a trainee again. The big scary Shadis. How I had quaked in my boots on my first day, and how quickly I had come to terms with the fact that not all men in charge were total bastards. He was harsh, yes. Cold, often. But when it came down to it, his bellowing and his strictness was for a purpose. To make soldiers. To ready us for a fight. Any fight. It took me a little time to adjust, but I soon learned the difference between his yelled commands, and the venom from my memories of Vincent. Two totally different beasts.

I grinned at Shadis' scowling face. "Commandant! Been too long!"

"Mhm, Sanshi, you made good time."

"Yup, old girl did me proud." I patted my horse and she gave a huff and whinny yet again, talkative girl. I rode alongside Shadis once he had made his turn and we headed towards the camp gates as his newly punished group went traipsing by. I gave apologetic smiles to them all, but I doubt they noticed above the heat and running. "So… How're things going?"

"Fine. The class has shaped nicely, not that they need to know that. How long are you staying?"

"Couple of weeks, Commander Erwin said he had passed this all off with you?"

"He did, I just wanted to see if he had actually clued in the Scout coming along."

I pursed my lips against the want to laugh. "You still know him so well."

"No need to stand on ceremony, Sanshi. You're not a trainee anymore and you've more than proven yourself a legitimate Scout. Just call me Shadis, though a couple of 'sirs' wouldn't go amiss in front of the cadets."

"Sure thing, gotta keep them all in line, eh?"

"Mm." He rolled his eyes, but then cleared his throat. "I was sorry to hear about your recent injuries on mission and the uhm… Well, part of the reason you're here."

My cheeks warmed, and it had nothing to do with the sunshine. "Appreciated, but nothing for you to worry yourself over. Just some human stupidity. On both counts."

"Figured you'd consider it that. Good to see you've not lost that thick skin, Sanshi. Damn ridiculous you'd need it within the walls, but there it is, as you say, human stupidity."

"Yup! As much as our other resources may run dry, that's never gonna run out. All we have to do is figure out how to use that for housing or feeding and we'll be golden."

He shook his head as we approached the stables. "You're as odd as ever."

"Odder, in all likeliness." I got down and jolted when a cadet suddenly appeared, ready and eager to take my reins for me. VIP treatment? Fine by me.

I handed my reins to the boy, though he struggled to take his eyes off the wings on my cloak for a few moments. A strange smile warped his lips, and the green of his eyes shone brightly. Seemed that Shadis had not exactly lucked out on ever getting 'normal' kids under his wing.

When nearly ten solid seconds of utter silence passed, I held out a hand to the cadet. "Hey there, Robyn Sanshi from the Scouting regiment."

It took a second for him to register anything, but then he shook my hand firmly. "H-Hi! Glad to meet you. Eren Jaeger, part of the 104th Cadets. You here to show us how it's really done, or what?"

Upfront. Nice.

Something about that name rang a very vague bell in the back of my mind, but considering how many names I saw come on and off lists, perhaps he had a relative already in the regiment. Time would tell.

I released his hand and shrugged my cloak off. "In a sense, that and to just see how the new recruits are doing, let you guys ask any questions you might have. That sort of thing. The way you're grinning at the symbol, I have to wonder, you made your mind up already?"

"Damn right I have." He grinned wider, those eyes oddly intense.

Shadis sighed. "Jaeger, get back to your duties."

The boy winced and did as told, giving me a quick salute before he hurried away. I turned to Shadis with a questioning brow and he rolled his eyes, gesturing for me to follow him towards his office.

I fell into step with him. "Intense kid."

"That's putting it mildly. He's been hell bent on the Scouts since he arrived three years ago. He was in Shiganshina when Maria fell."

"Fuck." I breathed, heading inside and hanging my cape on the hook. I had only seen the carnage from the outskirts, from a safe distance that was horrifying enough at the time. But the kid had been there? In the town? "So he's taken that terror and turned it into a want to fight… Good on him."

"One way to look at it." Shadis thunked a couple of tumblers on his desk. "I'll assume, having been a Scout for nearly a full year, you're not going to refuse a drink before dinner?"

"You assume correctly, liking the size of those glasses as well."

He smirked and sat after setting a generous pouring in front of the other seat. It was quite surreal to be in Shadis' office without some kind of a reprimanding hanging over my head, but it also felt like a full circle moment. When I first joined, he had been very sceptical about me, about many of the later joins in all honesty. Those powered only by fear worried him, the fact we hadn't wanted to venture out before the need to, made him wary. But I knew I'd more than proven myself since.

A question kept almost escaping Shadis' mouth. It bobbed along his tongue like a lazy river frog, but every time it got close to being voiced, he took another sip of booze.

I clicked my tongue. "Please, spit the question out."

His eyes went wide for a moment. Clearly he thought his mask was more effective than that, but I was dealing with the likes of Commander Erwin and Captain Levi for masks these days. Shadis had nothing on their stoic blankness.

He swirled his drink. "Do you know why Smith sent you?"

"Don't you?" I tilted my head.

He frowned. "What he says and what he does can often differ."

"All right… What do you suspect I have been sent here for?" I leaned back in my chair and sipped my drink.

My only purpose was to see how the cadets were doing, and to provide a more informal means of them learning about our regiment. That was it. Aside from Smith wanting to send me in order to force me into some time off after Jack's antics, he figured I'd be a good candidate as I am often good at talking with people. I took that as a compliment. But that was it. Whatever else Shadis had cooked up in his brain would be news to me.

He set his glass down and clasped his hands. Oh-so-serious. "I am glad to see you again, Sanshi. And glad to see that you're doing well as a Scout. But I do not wish to have these new recruits hoodwinked into joining the Scouts, simply because Smith has some new big scheme up his sleeve."

"Hoodwinked?" I couldn't avoid the grimace or the tone, I just couldn't. "So you think I've been sent here to paint a false picture of heroism and all that crap? To get them to sign up to become Erwin Smith's fodder?"

Shadis didn't say anything, but the way his eyes burned, confirmed my suspicions loudly.

I snorted and got up, pacing over to the window where I could see some cadets doing drills. "You've been rumbling around out here too long, Shadis."

"I have a right to be concerned."

"Fair. But nothing of the sort is on my agenda. If those kids wanna ask me questions, they'll be getting nothing beyond the blunt truth from me. I mean… Really, wouldn't you expect that from me? The shithead who didn't know when to keep it quiet?"

He sighed. "I wondered if you recalled that or not."

"Few forget your lectures, sir." I chuckled and patted his shoulder. "I'm here to be a Scout, and to give the cadets the chance to simply talk to someone and see if the regiment sounds like a fit. One of the first times this has been done as far as I'm aware, but suggested so that cadets can make 'informed' decisions. If they ask if it's scary, you bet I'll outline the exact parameters of how hard and fast you can shit yourself on the plains."

Shadis slumped back in his chair, a weary breath rattling out of him. "Poetic as ever Sanshi, but I am glad you remain so blunt. The 104th has some great potential within it, but I do not want to see that thrown into a frenzied–"

"Oi, you used to lead the damn Scouts. Don't go trash talking us completely." I patted again and returned to my seat. "Now then, am I bunking with the kiddies or what?"

"I've set up a small cabin for you by their quarters. So not far off, but not bunk beds either. Seemed like a good idea to give you somewhere to retreat to."

It wasn't clear if that was for the toll of the potentially endless questions, or the potential oversharing of information on behalf of my commander. Jack was being a pain in my ass still and he was behind fucking bars.

I drained my glass and thunked it onto the desk. "So! When am I meeting the little darlings?"

"Whenever you like, I'm not your keeper, Sanshi. I just wanted to see where you stood and now I know. Schedule around here hasn't changed, I leave your time up to you. Two weeks of freedom. Enjoy." He raised his glass and then brought out another bottle to offer it. "Figured you may want to indulge during the evenings."

"Aw, you're actually very thoughtful under that husk of an exterior." I took the bottle and winked. "Don't suppose another couple drinks together is on the table during my stay?"

"Why not, your brand of cynicism is often amusing." He waved a hand. "For now I have paperwork to endure."

"Loud and clear!" I headed out, grabbing my cloak on the way.

The grounds hadn't changed a bit, much like the esteemed leader himself, but there was something rather comforting in that. No matter what happened out there, on the field, at base HQ, or in the streets when we finally trudged home, this place remained. Shadis still shouting. Kids still sweating. Round and round it went, day in and day out.

I smirked and unlocked my little cabin, heading inside to unpack my things and see how it felt to have my own slice of existence. At HQ I had my own room of course, but here I was separate from the main building. No neighbours on the other side of the wall. Me. Alone. I couldn't recall the last time that had been a thing, not without me having been curled up behind a bin on the streets at least. It was a small space, but perfect for me. The bed was decent and I had a small stove to make tea on if I wished, even my own little sink and bathroom. The personal shower made me chuckle, I had wondered what it would be like scrubbing with the trainees, but that took that issue out of the way.

As I unpacked I had some water heating, and once my tea was brewed, I heard some thunder, despite the ongoing sunshine. When I took my tea to the window to look, I realised there was no thunder, just a returning patrol of kids, leading their horses to the stables. Chatter bounced around the group, laughter and grumbling alike. They seemed like a lively bunch. Once they had put their horses away they headed for the drill area, presumably to work on hand-to-hand before dinner. I recalled easily enough how foolish the practice had seemed to me as a cadet. Why learn how to fight humans when the enemy is Titans? My own bruising from Sente's bullshit brought that question into a strange new light; we had to protect ourselves from any and all threats. And some threats would remain unknown to us until they pounced. I shivered and pulled on my cardigan, the big cosy one Petra had knitted for my birthday. Such a sweetheart.

I headed out in my civilian clothing, mug of tea in hand. Before I joined in with proceedings, likely waiting until my current bruises had fully healed, I could still get a read on the group. As long as they didn't mind I guess. Then again, Shadis would likely not be giving them much choice.

They were really going at it, and as the kid called Eren hit the dust again I had perched on the boundary fence, mug clasped tight. A few heads turned to me. I nodded, or smiled if they made eye contact, but then more and more stopped training and I realised my whoops. Presumably they had been given some kind of heads up about my coming, therefore, most of them would know I was a Scout. Not just some random watcher.

I recognised a couple of them from back when I was coming up to graduation. But I can't say the names really stuck.

They began to gather like a very slow moving herd of cattle towards the feeding pen. I guess that makes me the hay? I sipped my tea and smiled at them, noting the nervous looks between them all. Who would go first? Who had the guts to speak up before anyone el–

"How many solo Titan kills do you have?"

Eren. Somehow it seemed like I should have known that. His eyes were just as bright as before, though without Shadis there for 'manners', the kid leered all he liked. Which was a lot. Okay maybe leered was the wrong word, more like he stared with the kind of intensity that usually appeared right before something burst into flame. Yeah. That fit.

I tilted my head. "Seven I think? I kinda lost track."

"How many missions you been on?"

"Four."

Eren nodded, looking to the side. "So you are pretty new then? Kinda a rookie still?"

The blonde kid next to him, with big bright blue eyes, nudged him. "Eren, you can't just say stuff like that."

"It's fine." I laughed and shrugged. "I'd consider myself a rookie still, yeah. Though I can't say it bothers me much. They say you're a real Scout if you come back alive from your first mission, so now that I've done that, the rest of the labels don't really matter."

A girl with striking dark eyes and similarly dark hair almost smiled at those words. Though not quite. When she realised I had glanced her way, she hid behind her red scarf. A blonde girl with an unimpressed look glared at me from the sidelines, so much so that I couldn't help but stare back.

I leaned forward. "Got something to say little lady?"

"Why're you here?"

"As in… As a human within this big ol' fucked up world we live in? Or this training camp?"

A couple of them chuckled, one boy with freckles snorted and hid behind his hand with a blush.

The blonde just rolled her eyes. "The latter obviously."

"Oh I dunno about obvious. With that oh-so-serious look on your pretty face I'd have to wonder if we had a philosopher amongst us. But all right… Latter it is. I'm here on behalf of the Scouts to let you guys have an informal means of learning about our shit."

She quirked a brow. "Your shit? So… We can ask anything? Not just the glory stats?"

"Go ahead." I smiled sweetly. "What gory details do you want? Though I'd also like to know why you're seeking those areas. Some kinda pain fetish?"

"Just prefer to know where I stand with someone. See if they're full of sugarcoated bullshit or not."

"Mm, I can respect that. But a little less of the glaring if you don't mind."

She flicked her hair out of her bored eyes. "You fight Titans but you can't handle a teenager?"

"Oh I kill Titans, but I don't often have to endure puberty's sassy hormones."

A few more chuckles. These kids seemed like a good lot. A mixed bag for sure, some of them looked at me like I was some kind of hero – which in itself was definitely wrong. And then some looked at me like I didn't matter at all – which was probably closer to the truth, let's be real. But then there were the ones looking at me with suspicion. Like I was here to lie. No chance. Even if the Commander had wanted me to do so, no chance. Throw your life into service, sure, but don't do so on false promises.

I cracked my neck. "Go ahead. Ask your serious questions."

"How many comrades have you seen die?"

"Too many. If you want specifics, probably headed towards thirty by this point."

The laughter stopped. Her bored little eyes popped wider for a moment.

She then tilted her head. "How?"

"Between being eaten alive, bitten into varyingly smaller parts, or infection in the fallout, there's few ways I haven't seen at this point. It's a bloody job, but someone has to do it. Now more than ever. But it's not pretty."

"Have you caused anyone's death?"

"Probably. But that's a call for the universe, not me. I do my best, it's all anyone can do out there."

She nodded slowly and looked to the side. "Glad to see they didn't send a fool."

"Mm, and glad to see the next generation are such cheery little fucks." I snorted. "So what's your name buttercup?"

"Annie Leonhart."

"A pleasure to meet you." I then nodded to the rest of the group. "You needn't ask all the questions now by the way guys, I'm here for two weeks. I just came over here to be nosy about your training. How's it going?"

Eren scuffed the ground with his boots. "Just hand-to-hand, basically killing the time at this point. We graduate soon and I think Shadis has run out of–"

"It comes in handy." I smiled, unable to make it fully realised. The echoes of cold stonework pressed against me, the biting slash of where Sente's grip caught my skin, or left a bruise. It was so close. Damn bastard. I blinked and gestured to their wooden knives, the classic baton that was passed from victor to victor. "It feels stupid at the time, I get it. But those quick decision movements? They do come into play on the field."

"And elsewhere?" The dark-haired girl with the scarf spoke softly, and something about her lingering gaze made it feel like she was looking through me rather than at me. Like she knew. Had a rumour reached this far in? I suppose there had to have been some kind of reasoning to Shadis about my coming. Well no, he had said that himself. Damn did these kids know?

I broke myself free of the train of thought. "Sure, it's come in handy occasionally off the field too."

She nodded and left it there. If she did know, somehow, the kid was at least decent enough not to make a spectacle.

"Your name?" I asked with a gentle smile.

She blushed. "Mikasa Ackerman."

"Pleased to meet you, Mikasa. Nice scarf."

A guy with blonde on top and dark underneath stepped forward, looking as unimpressed as the blonde girl but nowhere near as intimidating. "Why'd you sign up to the Scouts?"

"Well I–"

"We got a couple here who are thinking about it already, but most of them have been persuaded by this suicidal maniac who is just determined to get himself killed." He gestured to Eren who was already glaring at him blatantly before the ongoing spiel had ended.

I popped my lips. "So… You have to be a suicidal maniac to sign up? Is that what you're saying… What was your name?"

"Jean." He cleared his throat. "Jean Kirschtein. And no that wasn't what I meant. I just wanted to know–"

"Glad to meet you Jean, Jean Kirschtein. I signed up to the Scouts because I saw the aftermath of Shiganshina falling, I was riding towards it when the inner gate fell, and… Well that was close enough for me. I was spared being in there, but many, many others weren't. And I hated only being able to give a family my horse, and being able to do fuck all else. I am many things, but I hate being useless."

Murmurings broke out amongst them. I could only assume a few of them had seen things directly. Shadis had mentioned Jaeger had, but not anyone else. The girl with the scarf, Mikasa, had shrunk into the scarf a bit more. And the blonde with the big blue eyes was shifting his weight.

I hopped down from the fence. "Apologies to anyone that was there on the day and I just dragged up bad memories though. Not my intention."

"Better than pretending it didn't happen." Eren snarled, scuffing the ground again. "The higher ups talk about it like it was ancient history, not in the last five years."

"Well, trust me, the Scouts consider it very close to hand." I looked around them, unsure of how many of them were intending to join the Scouts or not. But I wasn't here to count heads.

Jean sighed. "So two weeks, huh? Two weeks to persuade us all to–"

"No."

He blinked. "No?"

"I'm not here to persuade you of anything. I'm here to answer questions, to rest up, and to see how you lot are doing. If you need persuaded into the Scouts, you shouldn't be joining."

He raised a brow. "Huh? What, like you're somehow sub-par for not always having that burning desire to be torn to shreds?"

"No, like you're gonna have no one to blame but yourself when you're out there on the field, watching a friend die, or staring at the walls as your gear gives out and a Titan swallows you whole. If someone persuaded you into that field, then you're gonna have a pretty shaky resolve when it's time to act. And the last thing the Scouts need is a shaky resolve." I looked at them all and shrugged. "Be it all of you, none of you, or a fraction of you, whoever is signing up to the Scouts had better be doing it for no one but themselves, and their own reasons."

He snorted and shook his head. "Not a great sales pitch."

"Good thing I ain't selling a damn thing then." I stepped out of the boundary and gestured around us. "You have maybe a month or so to decide, right? Then start thinking, kids. You're in a shrinking world, wanna do something about it? Or, do you want to help keep what we have left in check. The other regiments are nothing to be ashamed of, we all do our part, especially now that everyone's had a damn wake up call. But it just depends on what side of things you want to be. Part of the prevention, or part of the clean up."

They all stared at me, a couple of them now looking at the ground, a few off to the side. Eren stared right at me, with that strange determination that almost glowed. Mikasa watched Eren. Their blonde pal with the blue eyes stared right at me, but with something that looked a lot like suspicion. And Jean seemed to be sizing me up. They had only just met me, it made sense to doubt the word of a stranger, and in all honesty it gave me a solid impression that Jean was fairly level headed when it came to strategy. That made him useful no matter where he turned up.

They had some major thinking to do.

And I, well I had a bottle in my room and access to my own hot water, so I was going to go sit down in my shower and let my bruises heal a little before dinner.

What? I'm on vacation.

And there we have it! The 104th have entered the story! Thanks for reading, faving, following and taking the time to review! Shoutouts below, cya next week!

SHOUTOUTS:

bechilldarling: Thanks so much for giving the rewrite a shot! I wasn't sure how many folks who had read the first version would want to in the end ^-^ so welcome! And thanks so much for your thoughts, I'm glad you're excited haha, I'm excited to be sharing it in all honesty. And yeah I wanted Robyn to be a bit more refined in this one, as last time she was more being formed as I wrote it. So this time I felt an older character just made more sense! Super glad she's still coming across as "Robyn" though! Thanks ever so much for reviewing, thrills me every time someone chimes in. And cya next week, hope you continue to enjoy!