Hi folks! Sorry about last week, things got away from me. Though without access to the stats and such on this story, I'm not even sure if anyone's still reading lol. If you are, sorry! If not... welp I'm talking to the void I guess! Enjoy!

The green flare drifted along the skyline.

We set off, and despite the fact we were all on tenterhooks, the longer we flew the easier we felt. We were headed back to the rest of the convoy. Perhaps everything was fine. That terrible scream from the freaky female abnormal looking titan might have been a death throw, and she was finally downed. Maybe. As we flew, gradually the squad were beginning to loosen up a bit with Eren. Stories fluttered between us about Petra and Oluo's first missions and subsequent wetting of garments. Whether or not I had ever given into such an impulse was hard to say, but I would fully admit I was occasionally glad of a quick downpour of rain.

A figure soared ahead of us. Was that our Captain? It didn't look like his flight pattern, but then again, he might have been distracted by the total madness that was going on. Even Levi couldn't be impervious to this situation. Gunter headed over to make contact. Soon we'd be back with the wagons and we'd know what exactly had happened with the Female Titan.

Gunter jolted. "The hell–!"

"Gunter?" I called.

He tried to swerve but something went wrong. What the hell? Everything moved so fast. Gunter went limp. Hanging on his wires, like he was dazed. Accidents happened, but this was Gunter, one of the most reliable soldiers I knew.

"I'll check it out!" I flew closer, calling his name over and over.

Eren flew by my side. But the closer we got, the clearer it became. He wasn't dazed, or just gathering himself. No. Gunter was dead. His head was nearly entirely severed. Either from the impact with the tree or something else, I wasn't sure. But it hadn't been an accident. I hauled Eren back and we rejoined the group. We had to move.

"We're in trouble." I barked, and we formed a tight formation, trying to get eyes on where the figure had gone. Who the hell was it? A Scout gone bonkers? But who the hell would go after Gunter, the man who helped anyone and everyone. It couldn't be a personal vendetta.

"Protect Eren!" Eld barked, his eyes scanning all around. "We assume it's either someone with that abnormal bitch titan or her, herself. Make for the horses."

The undergrowth zipped beneath us, heat crawled up my throat. Fear. It didn't often manage to sneak into my mind during the mania of a mission, but right now it was choking me. Who the hell was the enemy anymore? It had to be someone nearby. Perhaps a Scout? Shit. No, no don't start thinking like that.

"Who's that?"

I turned at Petra's question and saw a figure flying behind us. It wasn't my Captain, the weird flight pattern wasn't him being affected by the situation. It was someone else. So who the hell was it?

"Identify yours–" my words faltered as they sunk back, retreating.

I gulped. The hairs on the back of my neck twinged and every instinct I knew screamed at me to flee. Danger. Run. Get the hell away.

I turned and used a boost of gas. "Move!"

Chaos.

Light erupted behind us. We were thrown askew like dolls, and the thunder of running footsteps came up behind us. She had escaped, the Female Titan was coming for us. No, not us. Eren. We had to keep him safe.

We scrambled, and Eld barked orders. I likely wouldn't ever be able to fully explain how thankful I was to him in that moment, for taking control. I was panicking. We had no idea where the rest of the formation was. If they were alive. If the horses had been killed. If our Captain was dead.

My mind spiralled.

But my body followed orders.

We split. Eren went ahead. He didn't want to leave the fight, and that was admirable, but right now we needed him safe. He was the target. We were the safety net. But even with his hesitations, he followed orders and swept ahead, out of her range. First step done. Now, we had to take her down. We swooped back round and crippled her. Slice. Swoop. Slam. One step at a time, we chipped her down and she folded against a tree trunk, holding her arms up, hands covering her nape. But she couldn't keep it up. We were enraged; every single one of us had watched our comrades be pulverised by this bitch. And so we worked. An oiled unit of synchronisation. This was my team, my people, my family. We could do this.

Already blinded by Eld, she was vulnerable. And we worked on her arms, weakening her. Soon we would reach the nape. And I'm sorry to say it, because the Commander will be pissed, but I'm not going to bother worrying about taking her alive. Clearly she's dangerous, in or out of her Titan form. Whoever this is, she needed killed. We can't risk her breathing any longer than necessary. She'd already taken out Gunter, and too many Scouts before that to count. It was her time to pay.

Eld swoops back in for another strike. Strong, lithe, powerful; everything a scout should be.

But it wasn't enough.

CRUNCH.

We all falter. Me, Oluo and Petra all waver backwards. How had the bitch seen–

One of her eyes was healed.

I'd never felt fear like it, and as we scrambled, evading her staring gaze, I felt death creep up the back of my neck. Was this it? Was this when I finally paid my due and ended up in the undergrowth like so many before me? Maybe. Maybe that was right. Maybe that was just.

"Move, Robyn!" Oluo bellows, kicking me out of my daze and bringing me back towards the canopy as I follow his voice. "We're not done here, damn it!"

R-Right. We're not dead yet. We can still do something, still keep Eren safe.

Right.

Shit. Petra's too low. There's no way to manoeuvre down there, just like in a built-up scenario, being near the ground meant death. She had to get higher. But she's panicking, dazed, unsure of where to go. We can't afford that right now, none of us. Oluo is yelling at her, trying to rouse her, but I just focus on the Titan. If I can distract the bitch maybe Oluo could get Petra out of there. Maybe. There's a chance at least, and right now, that's all I can hope for. I aim for her shoulder, my anchor pings off, but my other one sinks into a tree just behind her, allowing me to swing round in front of her gait.

"Oi! Blondie!" I screamed, going full blast, aiming for those eyes again, for anything that would buy my comrades a couple precious seconds.

The Female Titan didn't even look at me. Too focused on the kill. Even so, I knew I was fucked. The hairs on the back of my neck twinged again, instinct ruling every fibre of my being, demanding I get the hell out of there. Danger. Death. Move! Every impulse screamed at me. But it was too late.

She swerved her head, caught my wire with her chin, dragged my wire down and shouldered me aside.

Just like that.

Didn't look at me. Didn't slow down. Nothing.

I couldn't even scream. My body was thrown, the air ripped from my lungs. Instantly I went from a soldier, to a broken puppet. My leg scraped and snapped along her armoured shoulder, the crystal digging deep into my flesh. My blood coated her collarbone. I fell. It seemed like miles, but it was done in seconds. The wind whipped at my face, and I tried to refire, to slow the descent. But my anchor barely made contact. I slammed into the ground. Pain. It was everywhere. Bones smashed to dust no doubt. How much good my wires had done wasn't clear. I stared up at the canopy, trying to breathe.

Iron. Hot, wet iron.

It coated my tongue, threatening to drown me. Shit. I lay there on my side, crumpled, having tumbled forward several metres through the muddied undergrowth. But what had happened to Oluo and Petra? I heard another crash. But I hadn't seen what happened.

Where was Petra? I tried to move my head, searching for any sign of her strawberry blonde hair. Had she got out? Had she–

Blood.

Splashed up the trunk of a tree a few metres away. A tiny broken body lay oddly, curved against the tree at an unforgiving angle. Petra? No. No please not you. Strawberry blonde hair shifted in the breeze.

The Female Titan had moved on.

Oluo was yelling. Wires were still firing.

Eren was screaming.

A breeze rustled the long grass and tickled my nose, the one part of my body not alight in agony. Shock gripped me, making it hard to even think of moving. But if that smeared shape against that tree was Petra, I had to go to her. If there was the smallest chance I could save her, I had to take it. A finger twitched. All right, it was a start. I swallowed hard and tried to take stock of what had happened, but I didn't get further than noticing my leg. What leg? It was in bits, uniform in tatters. My bones had to be dust. Bruising had already smothered every inch of visible skin, and gore the rest. I must have caught the brunt of the impact with that leg. Shit. Nevermind. Stop looking for injuries, it just made it hurt worse.

Or… Or was I going numb? My ribs had been burning before, but now they prickled like pins and needles had set in.

Never mind.

Go to Petra. See if you can still save her. Do something. Useless rat.

I sucked in a blood soaked breath. "P-Petra…"

I had no idea if any sound even escaped, but my whole hand twitched against my gear's trigger. All right, a little more sensation had returned.

Perhaps it was just the shock that had me floored?

Another scream. A huge crash.

A flash of light, and then manic roaring. Crap. Eren had transformed. He probably thought we were all dead, that there was nothing left to lose. In all honesty, I didn't have much to argue against. For now I was still drawing breath, but I didn't know how much longer than would apply. Medical knowledge was hardly my strong suit, but I guessed moving myself wasn't a good idea. Regardless, I tried. Petra might still be salvageable.

Come on.

I still had to repay her for all her kindness, I had to get her a birthday present like she had gotten me. There was still so much I had to do. She was going to introduce me to her folks, show me what a real Father was meant to be like. What it was like to have a big brother as well as a little one. A family. A real family. Did I have to go to that same family and explain why their daughter or sister was dead while I was alive? Shit. Please. Please let her still be breathing. Even if she can't serve anymore. Let her light still be there, burning bright.

It felt like hours, hauling myself those few metres. All the while Eren screeched at the Female Titan, fighting with all his ferocity, but I doubted it would have much finesse. Just don't get yourself killed as well, Kid. The world needs you.

My stomach churned, and heat built beneath my skin. Probably a fever. I groaned and kept pulling myself, nails bloodied against the muck, dragging myself over roots and woodland debris.

Just keep going.

She might be still alive.

You might be able to help.

Finally, I reached Petra. And finally I had to accept what I had known in the back of my mind, the second I saw the blood. My bunk-buddy from training, my comrade, my friend, was dead. Petra. Gone. Beyond my reach. Finished. Dammit, not again. Eyes glassy, mouth agape and breathless, body entirely still. Gone. She was long gone. Likely dead as soon as she hit the tree. I reached and grazed her cape with my fingers before my useless sobbing took over. Dammit. The entire team, gone. Gunter. Eld. Petra. Probably Oluo as well. Shit. I'm so sorry Captain. It all happened so fast. A Titan that could focus her healing abilities, who the hell would have seen that coming? Focus on one eye? What madness is this? Then again, are those just excuses? Probably.

I must have begun to fall unconscious. The sound of wires impacted the tree above, and I jolted awake. Had someone found us? Or, me? I hadn't heard Oluo for a while, so I feared the worst.

Dammit. Not again.

"Dammit… Not again…"

Did I say that out loud?

I blinked and tried to look, but my head barely rolled from where it was facing the muck. So tired. So weak. Nausea gripped me, and it was as if my skin was on fire. Death was a slow process for me, it seemed. Typical. Then again, did I deserve anything else?

At least take their bodies home.

I groaned and tried to push myself onto my back. Get the attention of whoever had come this far in, get those bodies taken home for a proper burial at the very least. Chances of me surviving seemed slim at best. One thing at a time.

A slight gasp sounded above, and then someone landed beside me and Petra. "Robyn? Are… Are you alive?"

My Captain. His voice came through clearer now that he was closer. He had found me.

A dull sob escaped me, a mixture of relief, grief and guilt brimming my eyes as they spilled over. He knelt beside me and gently pushed my hair back, propping me still on my side, but able to look at him at least. I could only see from one eye, but it was definitely him. Definitely my Captain.

He searched my face, looking openly panicked. It didn't suit him. "Robyn, what the hell happened?"

"She c-came out of fuckin' nowhere." I wheezed, his careful wipes to my blood caked lips doing little good. "I'm s-so sorry, Levi. They're all gone."

"It's…" He swallowed hard and looked down. No, it wasn't 'okay', it wasn't 'fine'. None of it.

I reached and took his hand in the one of mine slightly less caked in filth. "Get Eren b-back. He went to… Went to fight the Female Titan I th-think." I coughed blood and wheezed, stomach churning worse as the seconds ticked by. My vision swam as a wave of warmth rushed over me like a tidal wave.

Levi's eyes went a little wider, but they remained lowered, at my leg. I already knew it was bad, but I guess he was only just starting to take in the details. My head swam. The fever surged. Fuck. Just sleep...

"I'll be fine." I croaked, pointing as best I could towards the commotion of Titan battle. "G-Go."

"But–"

"No." I choked, the heat surged and dark patches edged into the corners of my vision.

My body wavered, and he helped keep me propped back against the tree. A whimper escaped me, one of desperation, pointing towards where Eren was still fighting. Please. Go get the kid. This is bigger than me, than us. Don't forget that. Don't. Please. Don't make me regret giving in and letting myself be human with you.

Levi gritted his teeth, cast a glance towards Petra and back to the others. When he looked at me, I made my eye go wide and pointed again, another small desperate whimper escaping. This was what we had promised. That this connection between us wouldn't get in the way of duty.

"Dammit." He raised a signal flare and fired for assistance. Then he knelt closer, tightened the belt on my thigh so much I gave a small wail, but knew it was to slow the bleeding. "Keep breathing, brat. You hear me? That is a damn order."

I nodded and smiled the best I could before the world went dark. But breath rattled in and out of my mouth. Little by little. I would follow those orders. The wires fired again and he went to fulfil his duty, to collect Eren. Please. Please get the kid back.

Breath by breath the minutes ticked by. I think. My eyes ached, like I had been crying for hours. My body seemed to fizz with that strange fever. These injuries had to be extensive. It was like my body was full of fire, lead, and needles. On and on. Poke. Prod. Burn. With every breath a new wave of nausea rippled through me. Did I vomit? I don't know. My eyes were barely open anymore.

A waggon rumbled closer. The nausea reached new heights as I was lifted by many hands. How were they moving me? I was made of lead, or wet sand. Someone held me upright when I vomited, before they wiped my lips and laid me down on the bottom of a waggon. So warm. Too warm. A medic got to work. I think. My body fizzed with pokes and prods, straps and stitching. My eye had a cold bandage pressed over it, and my ribs were bound tight. A splint was put against my leg and more bandaging wrapped around my neck. How was I even alive?

By the time I came back to full consciousness, the canopy was thinning.

Hanji leaned into view, smiling as she pushed my hair back. "Kiddo, you got a lot to explain, but for now I'm just glad you're alive."

I know. Dammit another team lost. There was no explaining that. Maybe I'm bloody cursed.

She continued. "Just keep going kiddo, keep fighting. We're regrouping."

But had Levi got Eren back? Had we lost Eren to these new enemies we knew nothing about? Was my Captain alive? Give me information, dammit!

Sunlight washed over my face as we left the forest, but still no word had been given about Eren or my Captain. Damn it did I send him off to his death? Did the Female Titan take him down? If so, it's by pure luck I'm still here. Though I can't be sure in what state I am to serve. Will I be able to walk on that leg? Will my neck heal all right? Shit, stop it. One thing at a time. Get back to the walls, then panic about anything else. Another wave of warmth smothers me, it fills me to the brim, it's going to drown me I swear…

Little bird?

M-Mum?

My little bird. Why're you hiding back here?

She sounded so close. Like all I had to do was turn my head and she'd be smiling at me, beckoning me forward, coaxing me from whatever hiding place I'd scrambled into. Under the stairs. Behind the porch steps. Inside the laundry basket.

A smile pulled on my lips. "Where's John?"

He's playing in the garden, but he keeps asking to see you, keeps wondering where his big sister is. Won't you come out little bird?

"Robyn?" A shape blocked the sunshine, the warmth slipped away.

I frowned. "No, w-wait."

A cold hand pressed to my forehead. But that wasn't my mother's hand, she had a scar on her thumb, it always tickled when she ran it along my brow. Let me go. I have to go find my mother. And John, my brother, he needs me. Please!

"Robyn, you fell unconscious for a while. We're almost back. I uh… I dunno who John is kiddo, but I can ask around, okay? Just–"

"He's waiting for me." I swallowed hard, tasting blood on my tongue.

I guess Dad made me bite my tongue whilst he was teaching me some lesson. My body ached, but still I tried to sit up. John was waiting. So was Mum. They would be in the garden, sitting on the red trim blanket. Maybe they had a picnic out there waiting for me.

Hands pushed me to the floor. A wooden floor. Like the kitchen floor. Smoke filled the air. Choking. No air. Ash fell between the cracks in the ceiling. Heat. It clung to my skin and prickled under my hair. He was burning the whole house down. Everything. Including me.

"Stay still Robyn, c'mon, your body needs to rest."

"Get out." I choked. "Please. Please just get out, leave me, just get out."

"Kiddo?"

"Mum, please."

Why didn't she ever listen to me? Run. Get away from him, from the pain, from the flames. Just go. I gulped and gripped her shoulders, half sitting up despite how my ribs burned with pain. It didn't matter. She had to listen.

"All right we'll get out, we'll get out." She cooed, and I laid back as something cold was pressed to my head. She used to do that after Dad had taken me down to the basement. When he got too rough, or took things too far. When the fire from the grate seemed to have crawled under my skin. Burning. Always so much fucking burning. And his words, old, like the strange lettering in his journals. The feeling of wax. Waxy skin. Dammit. So much noise. So much–

It's all right, little bird. Just sleep. Sleep.

I stared her right in the eyes, she looked odd in glasses. "Just get out. I'll get John, I'll carry him. Go. Please. We can outrun him and his shitty blood."

A strange smile pulled onto her face. "A-All right, sounds good. I got a waggon for us, okay? You lay down, stay quiet. I'll get ya out of here."

I nodded, finding it harder and harder to pull my eyelids open again when I blinked. That damn basement. Those damned tests. His damn games. I was so tired of running. So tired of it all catching up with me. The heat. Why wouldn't it just leave me alone? I don't want to burn. Not like this. Not like this.

My lips peeled apart, dry and cracked. "B-Burning."

"That'll be the fever, just–"

"Red!" The colour of fire, blood, of Dad's knuckles after they made impact.

A sigh escaped and she laid me down again. "There was a lot of red, you're right kiddo. I'm sorry. We lost some good people today. But you'll pull through, and it… it all comes out with a-an hours scrub."

"B…B-B–"

"Shh just get some sleep, we'll be safe soon."

The waggon rattled, the sky rushed by above, and clouds turned pink. Stained by the end of the day.

"Blood." I mumbled, tears pouring from my eyes despite the fact I didn't know what they were for. Why cry? What good did it do? What good did I do?

My bones were heavy, my eyelids heavier still. Sleep began to pull me under. I gripped her hand and she stroked my hair.

That's it little bird, sleep.

Sleep.

Aaand there we have it, the Female Titan cometh and fucketh it up. More next friday! Cheerio!