Batman was working on his computer, trying to solve multiple cases as once. As is how he usually spends his time. The Dark Knight didn't take breaks. That is, until the noise of birthday whistles and horns blared out, startling Bruce turned to see his Justice League comrades in his lair. Superman, Wonder Woman, Aquaman, The Flash, Hal Jordan, and Martian Manhunter. Even Alfred was there.
"Happy birthday, Bruce!" They all cheered, but he was not pleased.
"Birthday? Why are you celebrating it? And while I'm working on several serious cases?"
"Bruce, you've been working for the better part of twenty years now. You're 45 years old." Superman pointed out. "When was the last time you celebrated your birthday?"
"8, when my parents were alive." That made them feel awkward. While they knew the death of his parents always haunted him, they haven't realized that Bruce never took a break on his birthday for so long.
"Sheesh. Well we think it's time you finally took the time to appreciate your friends want to celebrate your birthday."
"No."
"Master Bruce, it won't kill you to take a day off." Alfred pleaded.
"Alfred, it should be my decision on whether or not to celibate my birthday. And as far as I'm concerned, it's no more important than any other day of the year." Wonder Woman rolled here eyes.
"Oh come on Bruce. I'm over 3000 years old, and I still celebrate when I was bestowed life from Zeus when I was nothing more than a clump of clay."
"Yeah, if she can still make the effort to celebrate her birthday when I doubt I could keep track after 2-3 hundred years, you can do the same." Flash pointed out. "Don't make us force you to act like a human." The heroes were at a stalemate for a few seconds.
"Fine." Batman said, seemingly giving in before saying, "Computer, lights off." The lights turned off, making everyone groan.
"Really Bruce?" Hal asked in annoyance as he produced a green light with his ring. "I thought we were grown ups here." Suddenly, the room lit back up, but the overhead lights produced red sunlight, weakening Superman.
"Ah, no! Red... sunlight?" The Kryptonian dropped to one knee.
"He's using our weaknesses against us again?!" Wonder Woman questioned.
"Man, he really doesn't want to celebrate his birthday." Flash remarked. "Don't worry, I'll break the light, and then we'll-" A turret from a wall shot a blob of shock absorbent material at the Flash's feet, covering them and his legs. He tried vibrating his way out, but aside from rippling and jiggling, Flash was stuck. "Aw man, not again."
"Guys, get out of here!" Wonder Woman told her friends. "We can't risk him weakening all of us!" Aquaman jumped into the water part of the Bat cave, and Hal and J'onn flew out the way they came in.
"I suggest you leave as well, Diana." Batman's voice came through. "Nobody tells me what to do if I don't want to do it."
"Don't think you'll get to leave either." The Amazon refused to back down. "Hal likely created a force field around the Bat cave, and I won't be alone." Taking a communicator off her belt, she signaled the Titans. "Titans, come to the Bat cave. I need your help."
"We're on our way." A portal opened where all the Titans stepped out. Nightwing asked, "What's the problem?"
"And why are Superman and Flash incapacitated?" Starfire asked with concern.
"We tried celebrating Master Bruce's birthday, and even tried forcing it upon him when he refused, so now he's on the defensive." Alfred answered.
"Really Batman?" Richard called out his former mentor, sounding disappointed. "You want to be so stoic and badass that you'll take the Justice League out just to not celebrate your birthday?"
"It should be my choice, Nightwing." His voice called through the shadows. "You and your friends have no business here, so I suggest you leave before I make you."
"I don't think so." Richard turned to his comrades. "Considering the nature of why he's acting out, it's safe to assume he won't fight as hard as the criminals he faces. But don't underestimate him. Just because he won't fight as hard doesn't mean it won't hurt, so be on your best guard."
"Right!" The others nodded, before splitting into teams of two. Raven and Wonder Woman explored one of the lower levels of the Dark Knight's lair.
"I can sense him. He's near." Raven used her emotional sensory powers to detect him. "Wait, I'm sensing more than just stubbornness."
"What do you detect, Raven?" Before the half-demon sorceress could answer, something shot at her mouth, covering it in his bat logo that prevented her from speaking. She made muffled yells as she tried taking it off. "Raven!" Growing angered, Wonder Woman used her powers to summon her sword and shield. "I may understand the reason you're doing this, Bruce, but you're taking this too far."
"Only because you won't leave me alone." He responded as a gas canister was thrown at her feet, exploding to combine smoke with the dark lighting of the cave. She coughed into her arm, which allowed Batman to kick Wonder Woman's sword out of her hand, and he tried striking at her pressure points to subdue the Amazon. But Diana wouldn't be so easily defeated as she kicked him away, groaning from the pain nonetheless. Bruce threw several batarangs at her, which she used her shield to block. Unfortunately, they exploded, sending her back into a wall, cracking it. "Ugh, you know you can't beat me. I already know of your contingency plan of making me think there's an endless army. That trick won't work twice."
"It doesn't have to." A beam of ice shot at Wonder Woman through the smoke, freezing her body to the wall.
"What the-?!" She was surprised by this when she saw Batman approaching, tossing away one of Mr. Freeze's weapons. Before the Amazon could break herself free from her frozen confinement, Batman shot into her face a cloud of sleeping gas. "You... cheater." She grumbled before her head fell limp. Batman looks towards the scared Raven, and swiftly descended upon her before she could move or defend herself.
Cyborg and Beast Boy were going down through basically his hall of trophies, of previous engagements he won before.
"Fighting Batman on his birthday. Not exactly what I thought we'd be doing on that kind of day." Cyborg gulped. Beast nodded.
"Same dude. I just hopes we can gets out of this without too much hurting." A birdarang, landed near their feet, making the two Titans jump. An electric field burst from it, and Beast was unaffected while he was braced. Opening his eyes, having expected to be shocked. "What was that, Cy? Cyborg?" He looked at his best friend who was disabled, the blast having been an EMP, and thus making him fall over with a loud clanging noise. "Cyborg! Grr, alright, now I'm mad!" Adopting the arms and legs of a tiger, and growing a scorpion tail, he cried out in fury, "Wheres you at fool?!
"Right here." He turned to see Batman. With a tiger's roar, he pounced, only for Batman to jump over, and stuff one of Mad Hatter's hats over Garfield's head. He instantly became subdued, falling onto his face while under the hat's hypnosis.
Starfire and Jinx were patrolling around one of the exits, hoping to cut him off if he tried to escape.
"I hope the friends are okay." Starfire remarked, feeling uneasy.
"I'm sure they're fine." Jinx tried to act cool, but even she was feeling anxious considering what she's going up against. Suddenly, a swarm of bats flew around them, screeching in their ears. "Hey, get away you little blood suckers! She batted some away.
"Ow!" Starfire felt something prick her neck just as the bats started leaving them alone. Taking it out, it looked like a tiny vial. "What is this-achoo!" She sneezed an explosive starbolt, inadvertently sending Jinx to crash against the ground from how unexpected it was.
"Star, what was that about?!" The Metahuman asked, seriously perplexed.
"Oh, my apologies, Jinx..." The Tamaranean sniffed. "I have the allergic reaction... to cronium." She explosively sneezed again, falling over a ledge.
"Star!" Jinx reached out, but a Batarang stopped her from following suite. Batman came into view, as the pink haired metahuman stood up.
"You know you can't beat me." He told her.
"Tsk, maybe not, but I'm not going to give up to the likes of you." Jinx said with a serious face, clenching her hands into pink glowing fists. Batman threw three batarangs at her, which she ran towards before doing a running front-flip jump over them. Jinx attempted a strike with her heel mid-flip, but he stepped back to let it hit the ground, which gave a hard thud. He grabbed her leg and was about to punch her, but she twisted her body to kick Bruce's head, then kicked with her caught leg to pull them back.
Grunting, he attempted to backhand Jinx, but she cartwheeled out of the way, planting her feet onto the guardrail, then back flipping onto a lower platform. Batman followed suite, using his cape to glide down. The former villainess tried to shoot him down with a hex, but he dropped down faster to evade it, landing in his iconic bat pose before moving on with his offense, attempting a one-two combo. Jinx was able to parry the punches away, but wasn't fast enough to counter a kick to her gut, which smacked her into the giant penny. While she groaned in pained, when she looked up at it, Jinx quipped,
"What kind of souvenir is a giant penny anyway? I'd settle no less than a full dollar coin. Or wait, is that Two-Face's thing-yipe!" Jinx ducked under a punch from Batman while she was talking, making the heroine roll out of the way. Bruce attempted another swing, but she spun around his attack and kicked his back like an offensive ballerina, and something the female Titan realized is that for as fast and skilled as he was with likely 30 years of martial experience, his age appeared to be slightly getting to him. He was still one of the most challenging people to face hand-to-hand, but she was having a somewhat easy time moving around him, like dodging another punch before front flipping over the Dark Knight when he attempted a roundhouse kick.
"What's wrong Batman?" She smirked. "Age catching up to you?" She managed to punch Bruce in the face, but this time, he grabbed the metahuman's arm, and delivered an electrified punch to her chest, causing Jinx to gasp and spit out saliva in pain as she fell to the ground, convulsing for a few seconds. She then soon found herself having her wrists and ankles tied, along with having a net cast over her.
"Give it up Jinx. Even if if you're slightly more faster and acrobatic, I'm still Batman."
"Ugh, maybe... but a witch always has a trick up her sleeve." The former villainess snapped her fingers, sending a hex through the ground, up his leg, and to his utility belt. Everything that could go off in there, did, as smoke bombs, tear gas, flash-bangs and explosives went off at his hip, pushing the Dark Knight to the ground, visually blinded and injured to his back as he ripped the malfunctioning belt off, and threw it away from him. Both he and Jinx coughed from the overexposure to the gases and blinding light, but the heroine made sure to laugh in his face by actually laughing between coughs. Nightwing walked up to the scene, wearing a breathing apparatus.
"You may be able to plan for every contingency, but you can't exactly plan for bad luck, can you?"
"You... can't... do this..." Batman growled.
"I'm not going to answer with a cliche line." He untied Jinx, and then dragged Batman towards the main computer. When he saw the states of his friends in the holding cells of the cave, Richard shook his head. "I warned them."
"You guys managed to take Batman down?" Flash was impressed. "Nice kid."
"It's not the first time." Tying Batman up to the chair with grappling wire, along with tying his wrists together just to be safe, Richard then went to Raven, opening her cell. "Sorry Raven." He ripped off the bat shaped sealent over her mouth. After a few seconds, all Raven responded with was,
"Ow." Nightwing chuckled.
"Still got that good pain tolerance."
"Pain is all in the mind. And I've had most of my life to keep it locked tight." She walked out while Nightwing signaled the Justice League.
"We managed to subdue Batman. It's safe to come back." The other founding members make their way back, while Raven used her magic to fix everyone back to normal, with exception of Cyborg who just needed to be rebooted. Everyone now stood in front of the captured Batman, looking ticked off.
"Bruce, we know that fun isn't exactly your forte, but seriously?" Superman asked, his arms crossed. "Why such the extreme reaction?"
"Don't think you have the moral high ground. You tried forcing my birthday on me first." Martian Manhunter stepped up, raising his hand to Batman's head.
"What are you hiding?" Batman groaned as he tried to resist, but unlike most cases, the Martian was too strong for his human will. "Hmm, it's more than just stubborn refusal and avoiding his feelings of parentless birthdays, he doesn't want to acknowledge he's getting older. That even after twenty years of being Batman, Gotham is no better than when he started."
"So he's just going through a denial heavy midlife crisis?" Jinx questioned.
"Oh man, that's funny." Hal snickered.
"I don't have that many years left to be Batman at my level of skill. The day that I quit being Batman is the day I use a gun in self-defense."
"Bruce, if that's the case, why not appreciate what you have left?" Diana asked. "I'm not immortal to the passing of time. I'll likely reach middle age between 1,500 to 2,000 years from now. But you likely have less than half a century left. You should enjoy the moments of fun and family while you can still do so as Batman."
"Batman." Nightwing stepped up. "You're not the only one getting older. We're all going to become old, and die at some point. But just because I have limited time, especially a relatively short span compared to others, it doesn't stop me from living how I want to live. If I were to die tomorrow, my only regret would be that I couldn't have enjoyed more life with my friends and family. Don't make another one of your regrets being a lonely old man with no one to be there for you in the future." Batman lowered his head, thinking about it. He remembered the good times he had with Robin and Batgirl, when it was just the three of them. He remembered moments of camaraderie with his Justice League members. He even remembered when he comforted Ace in her final moments, wanting to give her one moment of solace after a tragically short and lonely childhood of experimentation.
"Fine." Batman conceded, before sighing. "I'll celebrate the birthday. Just this once."
"Finally. I've been wanting to eat this lemon and orange cake all day." Flash instantly zoomed out and back in with the yellow and orange sheet cake with the bat logo on it.
"We also have a piñata." Clark mentioned. "I know it sounds childish, but I just don't want this to be a quick and done birthday. Not to mention presents."
"I'm so glad you'll be celebrating your birthday for once, Master Bruce. I almost never thought I'd see the day again in my old age." Batman's face went from a frown to a straight line, hearing Alfred say that.
"I guess taking the night off won't be so bad."
A/N: To the guest reviewer who asked for the story on Robin and Raven, what did you have in mind? I can't promise that I'll definitely make it, but I'm willing to hear you out on what you would like.