Hi! Enjoy ^_^

Hanji was already pouring drinks, and Moblit was opening bottles. The Commander was standing to the side of the room, likely not planning on being too involved, but I guessed that wouldn't last. Keza had her eye on him. Slowly she sauntered across the room, glancing at me to give a smile and a wave, before honing in on him again. Doomed. The man was utterly doomed. And no doubt he would enjoy every single moment.

As the first dance came to an end, the couples squad joined them on the floor, and then everyone else was invited to do the same. Hanji dragged me onto the floor, whirling me around. We laughed, and did our best not to collide with people. Then Armin nervously asked for a dance, letting me do most of the leading due to his own nervousness. Then Eren demanded a spin, all fire and determination, like he wanted to 'win' at dancing. Funnily enough, Jean asked next. Those two were ridiculously competitive. The entire time, as I flitted from partner to partner I saw Levi sat on the sidelines watching me with a soft smile in place, and besides that, the Commander had danced every single dance with Keza. Oh dear, oh dear.

It had been a couple of hours of this madness, and as I came to the side for a sip of water, I noted Levi get up from his seat. Dancing with him would have been lovely, but I assumed he wouldn't be the dancing type. Then again, I should ask anyway. Communication. It was important. I turned, intending on asking him, but found myself beaten to the punch. Standing before me, hand held out, head tilted, he smirked and glanced towards the floor. Who could say no to that?

As we moved around the floor to the slower tune, I could feel eyes watching us. Made sense. Not only was I managing to not trip over my feet for several steps in a row, but Captain Levi was dancing. My eyes skimmed the room and sure enough, wide eyes, stares, a couple of pointing fingers. Oh boy.

Levi squeezed my hand, bringing my attention back to his eyes. "Brat, look at me, or I'm not going to be able to keep going."

Was he nervous?

I nodded and focused on him. The whole room fell away. It was like we weren't even dancing on wooden boards anymore, the music was a mere burble in the background. All I knew was the hands holding me close and those eyes. Had he always had eyes that were so beautiful? Like finely polished steel. My cheeks flushed and I looked down at his lips instead, noting how tightly pursed they were. He was concentrating very hard. Had he been practising this? The dancing?

The song drew to a close and everyone paused to clap. It took me a second to actually register we had stopped moving, and another to let go of his hand to give my own clap to the band. I was completely flustered.

His hand rested on the small of my back. "Some air?"

"Right!" I nodded and followed him out there, wondering if anyone could actually see how hard my heart was beating against my chest. Why had that affected me so much? We had fucked. We even said I love you. Yet that dance had felt so… intimate. I guess sometimes it was the slower moments that hit the hardest. Being genuinely content in someone's company… It was a weird feeling.

I perched on a crate.

"Glass of wine?" He offered, shrugging his jacket off and draping it over my shoulders. So warm. I tugged it close and nodded, well aware my cheeks weren't just pink due to the dancing. He came back a few minutes later, my eyes having wandered to the sky above, admiring the scattered stars. A few clouds were gathering, and from the smell of the wind it seemed like rain would come soon enough.

He sat beside me, his own glass of wine in hand; he seemed calmer than before, but clearly something was still whirring in his mind.

I nudged him. "You seem thoughtful again."

"Mm, seems to be the day for it, doesn't it?" He smirked and sipped his wine. "Guess it makes sense though, weddings and that kind of thing tend to give you some perspective. Though that might not be the right word…"

I took a long sip from my own glass and thought back on our trip to the tea shop. The future. It seemed to be playing a large role in his thinking lately. A wedding would hardly help avoid that. But was Levi the marrying type? Sure he would look good in a suit, and no doubt he would be dependable and wonderful in the role as a husband. But did he really want that? The normalcy, the mundane nature of it, the idea of being in one place with one person?

He watched the wine swirling in his glass.

I set mine aside and put my head on his shoulder. "My mind reading isn't working well today. Fancy clueing me in?"

He sighed and finished the glass. "Would you… Would you ever want… That?"

"That?" I repeated, nodding inside towards the currently dancing newlyweds, nothing but joy and love in their eyes. It was hard to explain how much I wished I didn't pity their naivety in that moment.

He looked back over his shoulder. "Yeah, though perhaps without the stupid looks on our faces."

"Is this a general enquiry or a proposal?"

He blinked. "Enquiry. I'm shit at this stuff, but I'm well aware there should be a little more effort put into a proposal than a lukewarm glass of wine and my suit jacket."

I snorted. "Mm, I guess they do say that. Then again, never been one for a lot of fuss." I winked and then laid my head on his shoulder again. "As for the enquiry… I don't really know. Not something I put much thought into beyond 'oh god not like my parents', I guess."

"Fair." He was keeping it cool, staying very still, keeping his voice very level. So I could only imagine the noise going on inside his head. He kept things close to that chest, but inside I knew he had the biggest heart of all.

"But now that you ask…" I looped my arm around his and hugged tight. "I suppose I don't like the idea of tempting Fate any more than we already have."

"Translation, please?"

I chuckled. "We're both here, both healthy, both pretty happy. Why make it more tempting for the universe to throw the wrench in?"

He kissed my hair. "I see. Can't go being too happy or else we'll be punished for it?"

"I guess so." I hummed, realising it likely sounded very childish to him. "Sorry, probably not the answer you were hoping for? Unless this was a round-about way of you telling me you're totally sworn off matrimony?"

"Damn, you figured me out." He laid his hand over mine. "No, I was just suddenly very aware of the fact we hadn't really discussed that sort of thing. And since we went and said the oh-so-important phrase to each other, seemed like a conversation to have. My own stance… Kind of like yours, really. Never really considered it for myself, my Mother wasn't married, and no one came to help us when we needed it. So the security part, I get. But then there's the complication once things have gone wrong."

And I couldn't fault him for a second for not saying 'if'.

He turned to me properly and put his forehead to mine. "I suppose in the end I'm not all that convinced I need a shitty piece of paper from our crappy government in order to feel closer to you."

"Agreed. Especially until we know what's on the other side of retaking Maria."

He shivered and nodded. "Agreed."

"Hey…" I breathed and he looked at me, sitting back enough that I could give him a proper kiss, which I then finished off with a peck to his nose. "I love you."

"As I love you."

"Fuck!" Keza squealed from the doorway. "It's so bloody cold out here! Why're you skulking out here in the dark you two?"

I laughed softly. "We're hardly skulking. Weren't you warmed up enough by dancing with the Commander?" I raised a brow at her and noted the blush that rose on her cheeks. She had to be a couple of wines deep by that point – only then did my Keza's mask slip.

"Mm, look Grumpy Captain, fancy giving us gals some alone time?" She scurried over to the table, making it clear that it was less of a suggestion and more of a demand.

Levi got up from the table and headed back in, leaving me with his jacket, which I gave a little to Keza.

Once we were alone, she grinned at me. "Looked like a fairly intense conversation out here, Numbnuts."

"So you elected to interrupt it?"

She rolled her eyes. "You'd obviously finished. What was the chat about, hmm?"

"Why?" The heat had already reached my cheeks, so there was no way I would manage to wriggle my way out of the discussion. But I would like to know what had tipped her keen nose off. Me and Levi were hardly a secret anymore, but I didn't want to be flaunting ourselves either.

Keza glanced towards the doorway, where Levi had long since disappeared back inside. No doubt he would end up beside the Commander, or be dragged somewhere by Hanji with an apologetic Moblit close behind.

Then her eyes fixed back on me. "Did he propose?"

I blinked. How the hell did she do that?

She grinned. "He did!"

"No, not… not exactly." I sighed, knowing full well she wasn't going to be pleased with how this conversation went between me and Levi. Her frown was question enough, so I kept going. "He asked if I wanted marriage. This kinda event is the setting that sparks those thoughts for people."

"So marriage in general? Not with him?" She tilted her head. "Can't lie Numbnuts, but that did not look like what you were discussing from over there. In the moonlight, sipping wine, smiling and going all gooey-eyed at each other. Seemed like prime proposal setting to me."

"Neither of us fancy tempting fate, Keza." I sipped my wine, knowing well enough how hard she was rolling her eyes at me. Despite the fact we had met in those terrible circumstances, and had to fight and claw for our survival day-in and day-out, she never understood my caution. Seemed that was something else that hadn't changed about my fiery friend.

She glared. "You and your fucking Fate paranoia."

I shrugged. It was an argument we had gone over many times, from when we were children all the way to premature adulthood. Caution was how I had lived so far. Throwing it to the wind just felt foolish, and once the bad started rolling in – which it always did – it just felt like it was what I deserved.

She sighed. "But say everything was sorted, the big ol' monsters were gone and these shady Shifter fuckers were punted beyond the horizon for good, would you?"

"Spend the rest of my life with a man that not only makes me feel safe and loved but can fuck my brains out? Yeah, I think I could make that sacrifice." I smirked and sipped my wine, managing to avoid it sloshing over me when she gave my arm a hard shove.

"Then fuck the Fate nonsense! Marry the bastard!"

I rolled my eyes. "Okay, enough, you've always had odd optimism about certain things, but since when were you matrimony mad?"

She shifted her weight and clasped her hands tightly. Something preyed on her mind, it stalked her thoughts and prowled the early hours no doubt. As bad as I was for not discussing my own fears, Keza was even worse. She had appointed herself the 'responsible' one between us, and so she was the one who was meant to figure things out. Not ask for help.

I took her hand in mine and squeezed. "C'mon, spill."

"What're you going to do when he's gone?"

"How would marriage help that? Doesn't make him any less dead–"

"I don't mean emotionally, I mean like… Do you realise how hard it is to be a single woman later on in life?" She swallowed hard, and finally the penny dropped in my mind; she wasn't really talking about me.

Sure, I knew she would want me to live into old age, but considering my career choice it was hardly likely. But her? She could live until every strand of chestnut hair paled to silver. I glanced back through the door and noted the Commander's gaze lingering on us.

"Did the Commander–"

"Yes." She bit her lip and kept her eyes low, and I had to wonder how long she had been shivering. "But I asked for time to think. Why… Why the hell didn't I say yes?"

Because she didn't want to tempt fate.

I closed my eyes and gave her hand another squeeze. "He's still insisting that he's going on the Shiganshina mission, isn't he?"

"Yup."

"And with only one arm…"

"He's been damned lucky already, I dunno how much longer that streak will win out."

"And so by marrying him, before he leaves, you would be set up for life if he did fall." I opened my eyes again and found her head hung, tears rolling down her cheeks. "And so you're scared that saying 'yes' means he definitely won't come back."

"Sorry. Bit of a fucking hypocrite, eh?"

I smiled softly. "Were you hoping I'd suddenly be a total romantic and exclaim my plans to run down the aisle? Then you'd feel less daunted by doing so yourself?"

"Fuck you, Numbnuts. At least pretend I'm not entirely transparent."

I pulled her into a tight hug, her shivering continuing but seeming to calm a little. "Do you love him?"

"Stupidly so."

"Then let him give you this security." I breathed, kissing her head. "You civilians have a nasty habit of lingering well into old age y'know. You'll need something to keep you going." I kissed again. "Plus, you'd finally have that last name you always wanted."

She laughed into a soft sob. "And it's the most generic fucking name possible, just my luck, eh?"

I sat back and wiped her tears. Only a few times in our time together had I seen Keza truly afraid; when I found her after the nuns, when a storm ripped the roof off our hide-out, and when I said I wasn't going with her to the interior. Now? She looked completely lost. I gripped her hands tight, and she looked down, taking a few moments before finally meeting my gaze again and the fear had faded.

She sniffed. "I should go talk to him."

"Yup. Get back in there and tell that man how much you love him, and how stupid you were for hesitating. Feel free to give me as much credit as possible."

She rolled her eyes but laughed. "Fuckin' glory whore."

"Go on, don't be a dumbass." I kissed the end of her nose and gave her a light shove.

She stumbled off the table and waved a hand. "Pushy bugger. Go and be helpful and get another crate of wine for the drinks table, eh? Might have something to celebrate in a couple of minutes."

Might as well be useful I suppose. I waved back and headed inside, passing by Levi to return his jacket. Of course he offered to help, but considering the look in Hanji's eyes I wasn't about to remove him from the situation. He had dancing to be dragged into. I could handle a crate by myself.

Well crap.

The crate was far heavier than I expected.

Whoops.

I rolled my eyes at myself and went to find an extra pair of hands, not wanting to mess up my dress, and at least pretend to be a lady. Thankfully a cadet was already on her way in to help. A small mousey girl whose name escaped me, but she had a pretty green dress on and looked sturdy enough. She took the other side and we got it slotted into place. She looked barely old enough to have signed up, must have joined very recently.

"Thanks for the hand, was kidding myself to think I could–"

"You're Robyn Sanshi, right?" She bit her lip, big eyes shining a little.

"Uh, yeah. Why? What've you heard?" I laughed softly, wondering just what on earth my reputation had become these days. So much had happened, it would be interesting to see what had stuck and what hadn't.

She shrugged. "Oh just that you were one of the ones who managed to stop the Reiss mess. It's a big deal! Glad to meet you, really." And she held out a hand to shake.

"Well if that's the main story about me these days, I'm glad." I took her hand and shook firmly. "When did you sign u–"

She stabbed a syringe into my arm and pushed down the plunger.

I blinked. It happened in a split second, but already a deep purple was bleeding out into my veins, highlighting them against my pale forearm. Oh shitting hell. Here we go again.

She gripped my hand tight, the needle still sticking out of my arm like a knitting needle in a ball of wool. "Sanshi scum, you'll serve like you were meant to!"

"For fuck's sake."

I pulled on her tiny hand, sending her off balance, and used my other arm to elbow her hard between her shoulder blades. She landed face first in the dirt, scrambling to get up as she gasped for air, but my knee was planted in the small of her back and she was pinned. My skin began to feel very warm, and the room swum. I really didn't have time to be stuck in bed for a few days, but there was nothing else to be bloody done about it. I swallowed around the nausea and dragged her upright, arms pinned behind her back.

The corridor was empty, so I called out as loud as I could. "Yoohoo! Need some help over here!"

Thankfully my bellowing reached Connie and he looked between me, the syringe and the wriggling cadet. No doubt it looked extra ridiculous due to my formal attire.

He opened and closed his mouth a few times. "Damn. Uh, I'll get the Captain."

"Have him meet me by the cells, gonna get her locked up."

"You okay to–"

"I have a couple minutes before anything really gets going I think." I shrugged and got the little rat moving, her struggling doing little but thin my patience further. "C'mon you little idiot…"

"You have to answer the call you damn–mmpf!"

I grabbed a cleaning cloth from a nearby window sill and stuffed it into her mouth, knowing it was that option or I smacked her jaw so hard it didn't work for a couple of days. So really, I was being kind. The cadet currently doing a patrol slowed as they came round the corner before the cells, eyeing me and my prisoner before getting their keys out and ready.

"Fun night, Sanshi?"

"As only I know how to have, yes."

"Guessing they have something to do with that odd accessory sticking out of your arm?"

"I can see why you were put on patrol." I winked and handed the rat over, letting them lead her down into the dank gloom.

I leaned against the stone work and watched the purple effect continue to crawl up my arm. Normally I'd have simply torn the syringe out, but I felt cautious this time round and wanted Hanji or at least the steadier hands of Levi to do it for me. The nausea was peaking and my vision was getting blurrier by the moment.

"Brat? What's going on?" Levi's voice rumbled along the corridor as I leaned on my knees and focused on my breathing. "You can't even get wine on your own without being attacked?"

"Seems not." I laughed, it turning into a groan as a dull ache began to throb along my lower back and the nape of my neck. "Help me to the infirmary?"

"Obviously. C'mere." He pulled my non-syringed-arm around his shoulder and helped me move, my knees felt filled with water all of a sudden. "I can carry you if it would be easier."

"If you pick me up, I'm definitely going to puke." I pursed my lips and breathed hard through my nose. He was practically carrying me anyway, his arm wrapped round my waist.

"You look pale."

"I always look fucking pale." I panted, blinking hard as the world began to merge. I'd been having such a good day until that point.

"Good point."

"It's f-fine, just another case of me puking my guts up and having a damn fever for a d-day or so… Fuck my head. Just get me into a bed…" I clamped a hand over my mouth as the nausea gripped my gut and suddenly my skin was on fire. "Probably a good i-idea to look into any other r-recruits that… th-that signed up at the same time as that kid."

"Agreed. For now though, focus on staying upright."

He helped me through to one of the small private rooms, and eased me onto a bed. His eyes kept raking over me, lingering on the collar of my dress, where no doubt some sign of the pain in my shoulders had begun to be visible. Was it bruising? It had sharpened from the initial ache, feeling more like a blade running along my shoulders and back in slow stripes. Did this feel more intense than last time? I couldn't be sure. Understandably the memories from the crystal cavern were a bit of a blur.

"Once I've ch-changed out of this dress, you should go back to the party." I held my arm out and he carefully removed the syringe, placing it on the bedside table. The purpled veins had begun to go black. I slipped the dress from my shoulders and wriggled free. He stayed quiet, collecting a medical gown from the cupboard and helping me step into it. "Levi?"

"Not until we know what this new serum is doing."

Ah. He was worried.

"Can't really be sure how it differs, I guess."

He nodded and helped me lie on my side. "Eren didn't have a good view, you were out of it, and we didn't get there till after the fact. So yeah… We're flying blind. Again."

"It'll be f-fine…" I slurred, the pain beginning to fizz against my back and shoulders. I had to tell him before I was incoherent. Did it matter? Was it a different serum? Had the crazy bastards made a new version? Or was I just being precious? "My back a-and sh-shoulders."

Levi eased me forwards to take a look. "Shit, it was just bruising before. Wait here. Just focus on your breathing." He lunged for the door and threw it open. "Medic! And someone fucking find Hanji!"

"What's happening?" I gulped, the pain deepening, like the blade was being driven into my skin now, rather than swiping over the top. My arm ached and I watched the skin turning black around the puncture mark, the blackened veins barely visible anymore. Shit. This wasn't good. No matter how out of it I had been, this was different.

Levi pushed my hair back. "Breathe slow, Robyn."

"T-Trying." I gasped, before a sickening cracking noise filled my mind. "Fuck!" My body arched off the bed.

Fire. It was everywhere. In my lungs, my throat, my eyes, my belly. I clawed at the sheets, wriggling as I tried to get up and flee, like I could escape the pain that way. But there was no running from this. Beyond my writhing I had no strength at all. Levi's chilled hands tried to keep me still, his words burbling around me as he likely tried to soothe me. But the world was fading and I could taste iron on my tongue.

God dammit.

Not again.

And it had been such a lovely evening…

Cya soon!