Tis friday! Update day! Enjoy!

ROBYN POV

The new Shifter stared for a long time. At one point, it went so still that I had to wonder if the person inside had left and it was slowly vaporising. But no. Just watching. Armin said he was going to try and get a sketch down, it was a good idea, I should have made my own attempt. But I couldn't look away. Something about this shifter had me transfixed. Maybe it was the timing of it all, of our victory over Maria and then to have a whole new problem revealed. Or maybe it was just the way that crystal glimmered. My bones ached where they had smashed against Annie's unforgiving crystalised hide, my skin prickled where it had torn against her glittering form. I shivered. And this shifter seemed to be covered in the stuff, rather than small patches being formed occasionally. They would be a tricky fight. If not impossible.

"I think I can hear the others coming back." Armin said, his hand laying gently on my arm. "It's all right, Robyn. It hasn't moved in a–"

It moved. Thankfully in the opposite direction, but my stomach churned at its speed. So quick. It was already disappearing over the horizon by the time wires whirred up to us. Armin hadn't moved his hand yet. He had given his own tremble at the sight of such speed. We had the Colossal on our side, but what the hell had that thing been?

The others landed, and I finally managed to tear my eyes away from the now empty horizon. They looked weary, but elated. Something must have been found at least. Even if that something created more headaches than it solved.

A picture.

Eren held it out, and while the man in the 'photograph' looked vaguely familiar, the child and woman were totally new to me. Apparently it wasn't a painting or a sketch, something called a photograph. I swallowed hard. They had better tech than us, then. There were three books, and all seemed stuffed with new information about where Dr. Jaeger had come from, which was apparently not within our walls. That alone was enough to settle the group into an uneasy silence.

And then Levi plucked the scrap of paper from my lap. His eyes narrowed.

I swallowed hard. "We saw something."

"Another shifter?"

Hanji, Eren and Mikasa all stopped discussing the books and looked towards the horizon, scanning the surrounding area before looking back to me and Armin with frowns. No sign. Armin took up the mantle and explained what we had seen, my shivering returned tenfold by the time he was finished.

Levi put his cape around me. "We should gather ourselves and head back to Trost."

I nodded and leaned into his hold. So much had changed with this battle, as much won as lost? I suppose the contents of the journals would dictate that. Please. Let it at least allow us to prepare ourselves for whatever the long game was? If it turned out to be nonsense… I wasn't sure how any of us would recover. We had retaken Maria, and gained the Colossal, but we had lost our Commander and we had lost most of our regiment as well. We were the last few stragglers of the Scouts.

The journey back was quiet and sombre. Levi had insisted we wrangle together a waggon to bring back Erwin's body. If not for the military, then at least for Keza. It was touching, but I also suspected it was partially for Levi as well. A kind of penance for his choice. How would Keza even feel about all this? We would tell her everything, of course. We were spending so much time uncovering secrets, the last thing we wanted to do was starting making new ones. I wasn't sure how she would react. Part of her didn't expect Erwin to return home, I knew that. It had been simmering in her eyes as she waved goodbye. But to learn that he might have come home, if Levi chose differently? I couldn't predict the reaction to that. And trying to apply it to my own heart was impossible. How would I have reacted if it happened with Levi? I had no idea. And I felt very grateful that I didn't need to. Yet.

As we travelled, we took it in turns to have a few of us on alert at the rear of our small convoy, in case Reiner and the others hadn't truly left. Or indeed, we saw our Sword Toothed friend reappear. No one recognised the description me and Armin provided but no one dismissed it either. We were long past the point of doubting each other even when reporting something surreal. This was our world now. One surreal thing after another.

By the time we reached Trost, Hanji had made good progress with Eren through the first of Dr Jeager's journals. And the revelations just kept on coming.

There was another Human settlement across the water.

In fact, there had been many.

But war had whittled it down to only one outside of our own. They called themselves Marley, and apparently called us Paradis. It was only the beginning of course, but already it blew our tiny world wide open – not only were we not the only remaining Humans alive, there had been several settlements like ours after the Titans appeared? Yet somehow, humans being humans, they had still taken each other out one by one. And now it was only us and Marley left. Supposedly. If we were to take Dr Jeager's word for it. Then again, what else were we meant to do?

Paradis. My head ached to recall it but Vincent's voice had certainly wrapped around that word a few times, and that girl who caught me with the syringe had said something about it too. It helped convince myself and others of the journals validity. Cross referencing. After all, as Scouts, we didn't tend to like taking one account as gospel.

The more Eren accessed his Father's memories, the more he might be able to translate Vincent's work as well. Then we might have the means to completely cross-reference a few things. Maybe. Assuming Vincent was from the same place. If not, then I suppose we had an answer to Dr Jeager knowing everything, or being truthful.

As we ascended the walls in the lifts, Armin came over to me. "Robyn, I was wondering something about these dreams you keep having about your past."

"Hm? What you wondering?"

"Well, what if this phrasing thing is buried in there, and your mind is trying to find it? The subconscious is a pretty powerful thing after all."

I looked down, Vincent's journal clasped tightly in my hands. "So you doubt it'll be in here?"

"Considering how secretive, or rather, paranoid you remember your Fath–Vincent being, I have to wonder if he would write such a thing down. Be it in a different language or not."

I turned the book over in my hands a few times. "Probably comes down to how his paranoia weighed against his arrogance at the time. Or how drunk he was."

Armin nodded and glanced up as the top of the wall came within reach. "I suppose so."

His eyes, which had always looked too old for his young face, looked a little haunted as we neared the top. We had gained the Colossal, but that weight now landed on Armin's shoulders. He contained the power that had ripped our worlds apart. At least now we might point it back at the enemy. Then again, Armin wasn't exactly known for his violent nature. Cunning, yes. Perhaps conniving when needed, sure. But not outright violent. Although Levi had since told me of how Armin shot that Kenny lackey in order to save Jean. But I can't say it changed my opinion much. It was one thing to defend a friend, another entirely to be violent of your own volition.

How much had he really been able to process any of this yet? Probably not a lot. Not only had he eaten someone for that power, he had almost died. The kid had perhaps endured the most out of all of us, and we didn't have to live in the shadow of the fallen Commander.

I put my arm around him. "Hey, just keep in mind you're not alone, okay?"

He nodded. "Yeah. I'll keep that in mind. Thanks Robyn."

"No problem, Brain Box."

He drew a long breath and shivered. "We're headed back to a completely different home, aren't we?"

"In many ways, yeah… The HQ will be so quiet, but at the same time I guess buzzing with all this new information."

His bright blue eyes cast back towards Maria. "Feels like things are on the edge of knife."

"A bit. But we've all gotten pretty fucking good at balancing, eh?" I nudged him, and those eyes landed back on me, looking a little too far away for my liking. "We'll figure it out, it's what the Scouts do."

He smiled. "Exactly."

As soon as we were back in the town, Eren and Mikasa were led away to the stockades. Not only had they gone against orders, they had both tried to attack their superior officer. It wouldn't be taken to trial, but they did at least have to have some kind of punishment. Flock was a mess. Between his ongoing ramblings of what he saw on the field, and his ongoing glare-fest towards Armin, I was glad when Hanji slipped him a sedative. The kid needed to breathe. And I needed to find some patience. He was entitled to an opinion about the decision between Commander Erwin and Armin, but that didn't mean he had the right to lay down the guilt on Armin. That wasn't going to happen.

I was helped towards our make-do HQ by Levi, him seeming pretty keen on staying by my side for the time being. It didn't seem to be anything to do with my injuries though – at least, that wasn't the focus . His eyes stayed on the ground. No doubt his decision would be rolling around his head for the foreseeable future, I just had to make sure he didn't topple over in the meantime. We neared the HQ building and I tightened my hold on his shoulder. Keza.

He stopped walking completely as we rounded the corner and saw her waiting by the door. The moment she saw me, she crumpled. Either I looked a right state still, or she had seen the news written all over my face. Her brows lifted, her lip wobbled before she clamped a hand over it and she kicked a nearby barrel over. I staggered ahead, leaving Levi in my wake.

"Fuck!" She bellowed, kicking some hay next. Tears streamed down her face. "Gods dammit! That selfish bastard. He went and fucking did it, didn't he? Didn't he?"

I hugged her. She wriggled, she flailed, she may have even punched me a couple of times, but in the end she was just sobbing against me and clinging as we sunk to our knees. I stroked her hair. She screamed against my chest, whole body wracked by the wrenching sobs. Her nails creaked against my uniform and she had already soaked through my shirt with her tears. But it didn't matter. None of that mattered. If she wanted to cling to me, she could. If she wanted to rage at me, she could. I'd be there for her. However possible. I held on, I stroked her hair, I just let her feel the pain. It was all there was to do. It wasn't "going to be okay" or the time to tell her to be quiet. We had all had our time to feel it, to have that blood sink into our minds and dry. It was still a fresh bruise, a new scar, a weeping wound, but for her it was fresh. The blade had just fallen. And I just had to sit there and hold pressure as best I could.

The one thing I could say, which wasn't a placation, it wasn't a falsehood, it wasn't an attempt to calm her or quell her cries. "I'm so sorry, Keza. I'm so fucking sorry."

"Fuck… F-Fuck…" She whimpered and sobbed some more, shivering and shaking her head.

Part of her had known she was saying goodbye for good, I knew that, the same way I knew she was as much of a cynical wench as myself. But I had also seen how happy she was. So I also knew she had held a little hope. A shred of hope built into existence by the happiness she had shared with him for those short few months. Barely a blink for some people – but I knew my Keza, and she would have loved Erwin enough for three lifetimes in those brief days.

The last of the days light had slipped away. Hanji and Armin had headed inside.

Finally Keza drew only a partially shaken breath, she sat back, somehow still gorgeous with her eyes red-rimmed and her nose as pinked as any rose petal. She sniffed and looked me over wearily, frowning and gently touching where my bandages were visible.

I shook my head. "I'm good."

"We should… We should get you inside though."

"Sure thing, love. C'mon." I helped her up, and she helped me in. Only then did I realise that Levi was still stood out on the street, exactly where I had left him. Watching. I planned to simply go back for him once I had Keza settled with a hot cup of tea, but she noticed my hesitation and then my Captain stood with his eyes fixed on her.

"What's up with Shorty?" Keza asked, voice crackling. "Guess he's pretty torn up, too?"

"Something like that, c'mon. I'll get him in a minute."

"I'll get the water going for tea, you go scrape him off the cobbles. Then I want details." She sniffed and I winced, knowing only Flock would be able to give exact details of what occurred in the moment, but the aftermath would be… Hard to explain. She nodded. "I mean it, Robyn. I want to know. Not for blaming anyone or any of that nasty shit, but I want to know how that idiot finally ran out of luck."

I swallowed hard. "Why?"

She laughed breathlessly. "Wanna know if I won our bet."

I blinked. She had made a bet with Erwin on how he would die? They really were made for each other. She sniffed again and got herself together. She winked and headed inside, leaving me in the dim evening light to go back to my Captain. My leg ached badly, but the pain meds Hanji had given me were hard-working as ever.

I managed to hobble over and put a hand to his cheek. It took a moment, but eventually his eyes met mine, and I knew the noise in his head was deafening. I had a similar noise in my mind when I lost Isla and the others. I felt an echo of that when looking upon the dead bodies of our squad after the Female Titan attack. It was a familiar pain, but always fresher each time.

He frowned. "She was in so much pain."

"Yeah, she was. But she'll get through. We'll make sure of that."

"Robyn… Do you think I… My choice… Do you think–"

"I told you what I thought on that roof." I cupped his face. "You were trusted to make the call, and you did. As far as I'm concerned, that makes your choice the only one to be made."

He sighed. "Shit. It'll never be clear, will it?"

"What?"

"If I made the right choice or not." He swallowed and searched my face for something. "Did I save the right person? Did I–"

I kissed him. "You're too close to it right now. I get it. But Did you choose as a man or a soldier?"

"Both." He gulped, closing his eyes.

"Good." I kissed him again and then took his hand, encouraging him to follow.

He held tight. "Wait."

"C'mon you must be cold, we should–"

He pulled me into a careful, but firm hug. "I love you."

"I love you too." I smiled and held him back. With everything else going on, yes, that still mattered. That would endure. Always. "C'mon..."

A simple meal was served, and not much conversation was had. Between our exhaustion, and the emotional distress of everything, we were all run ragged. I asked Keza if she could at least wait till tomorrow to find out about her bet with Erwin, and she agreed. Having come out the other side of her own initial reaction, I think she could fully appreciate the way we were all reeling. We may not have been in love with the Commander, but we had served with him, fought with him, and for some been his friend since training. Or near enough. Armin gave her a few details of what had been discovered in the journal, simply to ease her curiosity of what had been accomplished alongside the losses, but I knew it wasn't really sinking in for her. I wasn't sure it had for me.

Another settlement. Marley.

Not only that, but there had been many settlements, and we stupid humans had torn ourselves apart. When faced with extinction, with the Titans, with the end of all things, we still found ways to bicker amongst ourselves. And now there were only two settlements left, and still, they sent attackers to our door. So how would we respond? My initial want was to tear them apart. To kick down their door and flood it with mindless eating beasts. But that was just it. A cycle. A vicious cycle in which only one victor was guaranteed. The Titans.

And I for one, was rather sick of it.

And definitely sick of circles.

The next morning, we told Keza everything.

Outside the rain fell, and the city of Trost continued its day like it was any other. As if Maria hadn't been sealed, as if the Scouting regiment hadn't been reduced to a handful of cadets, as if we hadn't learned of another human settlement named Marley. As if it were a normal day.

Levi had insisted on explaining things himself. Flock was in no state to be anything beyond hysterical, and that was the last thing Keza needed. So Levi gave as many details as he could, many of which were news to me as well of course. He had been that close to the Beast Titan? It was insane. And then he had explained the choice. She went quiet for a long time, the longest I had ever seen her quiet. Levi didn't take his eyes off her, and I realised I was holding my breath when my lungs gave a dull ache about a minute after he had finished speaking.

Finally, Keza drew a breath. "Hey… Robyn?"

"Yeah, Love?"

"Do you remember when we pretended to be turtles?"

I blinked, mind pulled back through the years to when we had been just kids hiding in some basement in Shiganshina from the rain. We found old empty supply crates and turned them over, wearing them on our backs. It had felt like hours. We scuttled around the floor, bumping into things, likely making far too much noise. But it had been fun. A snippet of simple childish joy amongst our otherwise difficult lives.

"Yeah, we got so many splinters."

One corner of her mouth quirked up for a moment. "Yeah. And when we were done do you remember what we talked about?"

My throat thickened. I hadn't thought of it in years, but in that moment it was clear as day. Sat by the small arched window that looked onto the street level, people's shoes trudging past, puddles splashing against the glass with carts and horses. We spoke of dreams. Of the future. And Keza talked about her prince – an imaginary someone who might save her, or at least look after her a little. If I was recalling correctly, he had even been blonde in her fantasy.

I sniffed, and she looked to me with shining eyes. My lips wobbled with my smile. "Your prince?"

"Yeah. And you know what?"

"W-What?"

She reached and took my hand. "I got him. Only for a little while, but I got him. It was real, so fucking real I don't even really understand it. But it's more than that little rat in the basement thought she would ever get, even when we were at our most naive and stupid."

I squeezed and put my head to our joined hands. "He loved you so fucking much."

"Damn right he did." She laughed thickly, pulling me into a proper hug. "He was a stubborn jackass right to the end, but he was a sweetheart as well. I had it, Robyn. I really had it. Love, happiness, all that mushy shit we didn't think we deserved."

"You can still–" My words stalled when she hugged extra tight. "Okay, no talk of what's next. This is now."

"Thanks." She mumbled against my shoulder, letting me go a moment later. Her red-rimmed eyes landed on Levi, who hadn't moved, who didn't seem to have even blinked yet. "Now then, you."

He sat straighter, somehow, and gave a small nod.

She clasped her hands in her lap tightly, and took a moment to breathe. "I'm not gonna say you made the right choice, because frankly I dunno what choice that is. But Erwin trusted you to make it, you made it, and now we live with this new world. Simple. So, if it's my forgiveness you're wanting, you have it, if it's my support moving forward, you got it. If it's a slap to take that wounded puppy look off your face, I'll supply it."

Levi swallowed hard and dropped his gaze to his lap, where his hands clasped his knees so tight his knuckles paled. "I… Thanks, Keza."

"It is what it is. Now then, if you could both bugger off, I'd like to be alone to wallow a little. Some tea would be appreciated though."

Levi went to organise the tea, while I got up, smoothed her blankets and then kissed her head. She would be okay, I knew that, but it pained me to know I couldn't do a damn thing for my friend. For the time being, she just had to feel the hurt. To endure it. But that was how it was with some pain. It had to sit there with you in the room, until it began to become normal, and a little bit more ignorable day by day.

"Love you, Keza."

"Love you too, Numbnuts."

Hope you enjoyed! Thanks for reading!