Record That

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN EVANGELION, NOR ANY OF THE SONGS! DON'T SUE ME!

Chapter 7: Somnia

It's an odd feeling when one falls into an abyss of nothing. You're conscious of your limbs flailing around, grasping at nothing but dead space. Not even the feeling of air flowing fast past your body. Because of this blackness all around you, your feelings start to become numb. Even in the limbs you still have control over.

Obviously, first your vision goes as there is nothing but darkness. Then, your hearing, as it's hard to even hear your own breathing. The sense of touch then disappears as well, as your flailing drains you of the little blood you still have left. Taste and smell are already gone, it was just taking you time to realize it.

And because you can't smell, taste, or even feel air, you can't breathe. You begin to choke, but not in a gasping and coughing way. It is as if your life is slowly being squeezed out of your body. It is the feeling of truly being lost into the infinite black void. The abyss of endless death and loneliness. These symptoms are what it knew all too well.

And it felt nice to feel them again, the world was often an overly warm and scorching place to live. The cold numbness that the dark provided, was like returning home. All it needed to do was let the world disappear. Don't let the eyes adjust to the darkness. Embrace it, this is how it would disappear.

"STOP!"

It couldn't make out who exactly shouted that, but soon the feeling of pain entered the mix. Small, precise, and deadly pieces of lead pierced the skin. They would've done lots of damage to the internal organs. If only they still existed. Soon, the pieces came to a stop and began to flow through the body, up the arms and to the hands.

Where they emerged on the palm, revealed to be bullets. These are what caused the eyes to adjust. To focus back on the ones who pretended to care. Because if they really did, they'd let things happen the way they were supposed to. Instead, the three of them had pulled guns, but failed to make any real impact. A perfect metaphor wouldn't you say?

The sound of the bullets hitting the ground as they fell from the hand, made it clear that they weren't having any effect. Yet, they still fought on, the want to be mother rushed it. Her gaze is that of pure and focused hatred. One that a true predator makes when homing in on its prey.

She was no predator; she was only a woman with a body count.

It caused the color to return to the darkness, but it was worth it just to see that expression of gritted teeth and fiery eyes. Turn into shock at what she just saw, instantly stopping in her tracks to take it all in. Her eyes widening as she looks down to the ground. Down at the future corpse of her soulmate. And through a rotting, gaping hole in his chest, she sees how she yet again pushes him away. This death, this suicide, is her fault. She falls to her knees, every part of her shaking.

Her face is priceless, for she does not cry, but it doesn't stop her expressions from going all over the place. What a sight to behold, such a work of art, the art of breaking a human's spirit. It knew this art so well, it didn't invent it, but perfected it.

And it got to try the practice again, when the false impression of a mature woman also lunged forth. As if to tackle it from the side. Her aim was perfect, she was trained to kill as well. Yet, she passed right through it.

Her blonde hair dye was washed out in a single pass through.

She tried to recover but failed and fell to the floor. Where she caught herself right before she fell into the water. As she looked at the reflection in the purple fluid, she saw herself, except she wasn't herself anymore. The blonde hair was gone, replaced with her natural black hair, her mother's hair.

Now that she resembled her mother, it was her who was falling to her death. It was she that laid in bed, awake and alone. She was choking Rei to near death. The one who chose to stand naked before the soulless leaders of SEELE. And it was her, who was shot by Gendo in favor of Rei.

Was it really her? Or was it what she knew was going to happen? Or was it still her mother? Maybe it was the mother, because only her face would be slowly rotting away. She tried to hold her face together, but it was no use. Eventually, even her skull fell out and with that she fell on her side. Wide eyed and shivering, unable to process what she saw.

All that was left was the false father. Who was watching his subordinates becoming withering wrecks. All he did was observe, his gun still in hand. He stared it down with the same stone-faced expression. He didn't want to show any emotion, he knew how to cover it up. And he knew how to hurt others who got too close.

But that didn't mean he was completely without fear.

The temptation to break him was too great. It let the color fully return to the room, thus letting the boy fall to the floor. With that last thud, it became fully aware again. It was a reflection of that boy, coward, fool, victim. The story should've ended here with the boy's death, but it felt like work still needed to be done.

It could not speak, but it didn't need to. The reflection walked past the shivering women and straight towards the father. Who watched it approach, unphased, waiting to see what would happen. It levitated off the ground in order to look the man in the eyes. The smile on its face disappeared, which the father took notice of. Though not before truly looking into its eyes.

The father saw something behind them, it wasn't life, nor even death. It was, her, the one he loved, the one he wanted back so much. Soon, only the father saw what he wanted to see. A perfect recreation of his partner, right in front of him. He reached out to touch it, but then realized it was all an illusion. For all the illusion did was frown and watch him.

He sighed, looked down and then back up again. The illusion was gone, and it was all that remained. Though, it still bore resemblance to his son, which also bore resemblance to her. He wasn't broken by it. At first, he thought that that was it, but he knew that just in case. He might as well be prepared.

"Just get it over with." He spoke.

It stared at him for a while, unfazed by his determination not to be intimidated, but that's exactly what it wanted. As of right now, he expected anything to happen. But then, in the blink of an eye, it was gone. The father was left alone. He was confused at first. Then he noticed that he truly was left alone, everyone had disappeared.

The father walked forward and looked around. This wasn't all it was, he was used to being alone. Simply making the people and even the EVA disappear. Then leaving him alone in the same compound. He'd wait here for as long as it wanted him to. It would eventually have to let him go, not if it wanted to beat the Angel.

Or so he thought, because soon something rose out of the pool. The father looked at it and realized that it was a body. The body was that of one of the workers in the Geofront. Then another body, then another, and they kept on rising. There were so many that they started piling on top of each other, pushing Gendo up.

He stood on a pile of dead rotting bodies. Soon, he started to hit the roof, but it wouldn't stop. He screamed in pain, but it crushed him against the metal until eventually it too gave way. The smell and sight of the corpses overwhelmed him. He would have screamed if his body and insides had not been crushed. Slowly merging with the corpses around him.

The pile pushed up more and more until it broke through the top of the Geofront. The father emerged, looking with what eyes he had left at a black sky. Where it looked like the Angels flying and moving around. While the pile of dead humans was left in the corner, an afterthought to them.

Then, the reflection appeared again, looking down at the father. His corpse was barely recognizable. It smirked, but it wasn't done. It then held up the son and the mother, dead, but their corpses still in pristine condition. Their dead stares though, they shook the father to his core.

'This….is what…. you wanted…. right? To become one.' The reflection said in a breathless whispering voice. It's smile slowly returning.

It then let the corpses of the father's loved ones fall upon him. When they made contact, they exploded. The blood, the pain, the insanity of becoming mixed in with millions of others. Even if they included his family, this is not what the father wanted. He wanted it to stop, he screamed despite having no mouth. Though it didn't seem to end, until….

Gendo began to fall forward, but he brought his foot forward and instead took a knee. He too was wide eyed and horrified, but he was taking it all in much faster. The point the reflection made was clear and perhaps it was right. Yet, it gave no answer, no way to stop it. With this knowledge and willingness to keep standing against it. Gendo slowly began to stand up.

It seemed like only a second had passed in real time. The reflection's laughter echoed through the halls. It had disappeared, but its presence could still be felt. Though it was fading.

"Grow up…. go to your positions…...cowards." It said in the same whispering voice.

It sounded like a demon whispering in not only people's ears, but in their minds as well. However, after the echoing and whispers, the feeling of an evil entity watching them completely vanished. Even Misato and Ritsuko slowly began to recover, as the illusions slowly disappeared. As everyone looked around, Gendo took the initiative.

"It's gone. Lieutenant Katsuragi, Doctor Akagi, can you still function?"

Misato eventually turned around to face Gendo.

"Yes…...yes."

She couldn't even say 'sir', she was so traumatized. The lieutenant eventually turned to Ritsuko who was still shivering on the floor.

"Rits, Rits, it's over, come on." Misato said, as she tried to help her get up.

Ritsuko got up, but still held her far away wide-eyed expression. Then she turned to Gendo, who still had that stone cold face. The same one that he wore when he shot her. Except, now he was sweating, she never saw him like that unless they had slept together. He was human, he was mortal, he was killable. All she had to do was reach for her gun that she still had on her.

But then behind her, the groan of the pained yet breathing Shinji stirred. Misato rushed towards him, Ritsuko wanted to as well, but the boy looked like his father. It wasn't until Misato nearly shouted at her to come over, when she finally did a check on him. She confirmed that his windpipe was still in good condition.

Aside from the bruises around his neck. The kid was in decent shape. When Gendo heard that, he told the terrified yet still working nurses who were helping Rei. To take her back to hospital, but to put extreme security on her. No one besides Gendo was to go in her room. After the nurses left, he went to the two ladies.

Misato lifted up the unconscious Shinji and carried him in her arms. When both her and Ritsuko heard Gendo's footsteps, they both turned to tell him the bad news.

"He's in bad shape, sir. He's breathing, but I can't wake him up." Misato told him.

"It doesn't matter if he's unconscious. Put him in the EVA." Gendo responded.

Misato was stunned, Ritsuko was even more angry.

"What!? He needs to get to the hospital!" Misato nearly shouted.

"You bastard." Ritsuko said with a soul piercing stare.

Gendo turned to her with his own stare of death.

"It doesn't matter what the two of you think. He is our only pilot, given the circumstances, we'll have to risk it on his awakening once he enters the EVA."

Misato would've punched Gendo in the face if she wasn't carrying Shinji. Ritsuko on the other hand, did it for her, but with a slap instead. Gendo wasn't fazed by it, the hit didn't even move his face.

"Even if what you're planning on does happen. Who knows if that reflection will interfere again. How about you strike a deal with the thing? And have it kill the Angel."

Ritsuko's words were blasphemous in the face of what NERV stood for, but deep-down Misato agreed with her. The horrific reflection had broken her with the visions it showed her. Though it did not kill her, or anyone else. Perhaps it was possible.

Gendo didn't care, he simply kept his stone-faced glare.

"If you're concerned about his state, then wake him up with an adrenaline shot. If you think the reflection can be made into an ally. Then I wish you both good luck with that. And if you speak those words again, I'll have you arrested for treason."

Gendo then took Ritsuko's hand and pulled her along with him. At first, she resisted, but realized she was in no position to talk back.

"Lieutenant, put Shinji in the EVA or I'll get someone else to do it!"

The two higher ups went through nearby doors. Leaving Misato alone on the platform. She looked down at Shinji, and with great difficulty, she realized that Gendo was right. Though she wasn't just going to drop the boy into a giant metal coffin. So, when a technician approached her, she took Gendo's advice.

"Get me a nurse with an adrenaline shot and tell her to meet me up at the entry plugs!"

Gendo pinned Ritsuko against the wall.

"What did it show you?" He asked her.

He was so close to her, close enough that he wouldn't notice the gun that she had in her pocket. Aimed right at his stomach. She wanted to do it, to kill him right here and now.

"It showed me what you will do to me. How I am to die at your hands. What did it show you?"

Ritsuko said that in a scathing and confident way. Her smirk and angry look made her appear to be taking on the persona of the reflection.

"I was shown what would happen if the Angels win. You know as well as I that there are hundreds of possibilities for how this can go. Though if you think it's a good idea to murder the head of NERV, the only man SEELE trusts." Gendo then grabbed her gun, and with her hand still on the trigger put it up to his head. "Then do Ritsuko. Kill me."

The woman's confidence was nearly all but shattered. This man was truly willing to die for his cause. She could pull the trigger, end his life now. Yet, that look he gave her, it was one of determination and more anger than she had ever felt in her entire life. Ritsuko pulled her gun away, her hand shaking.

"What did the future look like?" She asked.

"Angels of all shapes and sizes, everywhere. Walking on an Earth that had no more atmosphere. Along with hundreds of thousands, maybe even millions of corpses. Littering the ground for as far as the eye could see. I was crushed by the number of corpses that piled on top of me. My body reduced to viscera and blood, all while I somehow retained consciousness. So, tell me, Doctor. What did the reflection show you again?"

Ritsuko kept silent, as if she had been put back in her place. Gendo saw this and brought himself and his anger back to his typical stone face appearance. He then turned to walk down the hallway but made sure to tell her something.

"If you truly wish to avoid death. Then stop following in the footsteps of your mother."

Gendo's footsteps echoed as he left Ritsuko standing there. Trying to take everything in. She thought she was alone in this pain. But then she realized that there was another, and possibly even two who could theoretically rely on.

Misato tried everything to wake up Shinji, from slapping to even cutting his breathing off. And yet, the boy refused to wake up. It seemed like the only option was the shot of adrenaline. That would hopefully jolt him back awake. Though the physical risk to the boy's body was great, it was better than sending him out completely comatosed.

With the help of the nurse, Misato was about to administer the adrenaline through Shinji's arm. When Ritsuko showed up just in time.

"Wait! Allow me!"

Misato sighed in relief, as medical practices weren't her strongest subject. Ritsuko then pumped the medicine into his leg.

"Nice hair change." Misato said, without any real sarcasm.

"Shut up." Ritsuko didn't notice.

Once the shot was delivered, the two began to yet again shake Shinji.

Shinji had thought everything was over. As the black abyss slowly started to swallow him. His senses failed him, his mind began to fade away, all that was left was….a small bit of light. Which Shinji was now falling towards. He passed right through it and then woke up on the same beach. Doing the same actions, except now, everything was a little more clearer.

He couldn't see over the horizon, but the sea was as red as he remembered. There was also this overwhelming feeling that he was being watched. Then, there was Asuka, who at first he couldn't make out entirely. Now, thanks to the descriptions. He could make out every detail of her.

Which made it even more painful when he saw what caused her to say 'I feel sick.' Every part of Shinji wanted to help this beautiful girl. She seemed in bad shape with an eye patch and her hand all wrapped up in bandages. Yet, without any real control, he began to choke her. He would've continued until she was dead, except she then placed her hand on his cheek.

The boy stopped, and began to cry. Placing his hands over his face.

"I….feel….sick." Said she.

"I…why?" He asked.

"What do you mean why?" She asked.

Shinji sobbed a little bit more.

"Why am I like this?"

"What do you mean, like this? You should already know."

"No…No…You don't understand."

"Oh, I understand, because you forced me to watch."

"What!?"

Shinji looked through his tear stained eyes and spaces between his fingers. Now, he could see her angry expression. Her red hair, resembling that of the fire building up inside her.

"Yeah, I saw all of it. You make me sick, Shinji. If anything," She then sprang forward and wrapped her hands around his throat. Forcing him to the ground. "I should be the one doing this."

Shinji didn't fight back, he felt his breath being cut off as she crushed his windpipe. He felt like this was it, this was the death that he deserved. The world began to slowly go dark again, but yet again, at the last second before his senses entirely failed him. He was slowly brought back into consciousness. This time by tears falling on his face, followed by very audible cries of pain.

When he came to, he looked up at the now crying and broken Asuka. Who had stopped choking him and placed her hands next head. Her eyes, now closed and wailing much like Shinji just a few seconds ago. The boy had never felt such sadness for another in his life. Now, more than ever, he wanted to hug her and tell her everything was alright. And for once, he got his wish.

He couldn't tell if he had control, but he quickly sat up and wrapped his arms around her. Even placing a hand on her head in order to cradle her. Shinji couldn't see her face, but she slowly stopped crying and wrapped her arms around him. The two stayed there for what felt like ages.

Neither of them wanted to stop. The air was so cold, and the two of them together like this kept them warm. And yet, there was something both of them so desperately wanted to do. They pulled back their heads and looked into each other's eyes. Shinji even took off Asuka's eye patch, to see the damage that had been done.

Even despite being able to look into her skull. Her single bright blue lens kept him entranced. Asuka looked away at first when Shinji did that. Though his fingers brought her head back up again. Even with this deformity, Shinji couldn't help but reach in for a kiss. Which Asuka returned in kind.

It wasn't a simple normal kiss either, Asuka forced her tongue into his mouth. Shinji welcomed it, and they kissed like they had missed each other for so long. The boy slowly laid down, with the girl following him. Not wanting to break it. Yet, when his head met with the sand, they pulled back a bit.

Shinji then began to kiss her neck, her collar bone, and continued downward. Asuka closed her eyes and moaned in pleasure. He brought his hand up to her cheek, to subtly show that he was still thinking of her beautiful face. If only he could give her a new eye, one to match the other. All he wanted to do right now, the only thing he cared about in the entire world at this instant, was making her feel good.

Protecting her, making sure no more harm came her way. That's when he saw them.

The boy had brought his head up to rest on her shoulder, so he may kiss the side of her neck again. Though with this angle, he had a view of the sky. And the millions of stars that shined out there. Except, they weren't stars, they were too close together. Like pairs of bright, white eyes. Shinji saw something behind them, the same way he could see the soul behind Asuka's. He looked at them, and a pair of them began to move.

It then disappeared, then reappeared. Then all of the stars slowly began to descend down to Earth. Coming closer and closer, everything became so insanely bright. Asuka screamed, but Shinji braced her and rolled on top of her. He kept her head down in his arms. He thought he might go blind, but it was a worthy sacrifice to protect an innocent.

'What makes her innocent?' Something asked. It's voice echoing in Shinji's head.

'Why don't you do what you want to her? That's the only thing she's good for now.' Another one said.

'Here, we'll even fix her eye for you. Now fuck her, Lith Keigh. Less we erase you and her from existence.' This one had a deeper voice, it sounded like the leader.

'Now fuck her brains out, Lith Keigh! Hahahahaha!'

That laughter nearly drove Shinji mad. It was like a ringing that constantly got louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder.

"SHINJI! COME ON SHINJI, YOU'RE ALMOST THERE!" Misato yelled at him.

Shinji moaned and slowly started to become full of energy. He was breathing faster, felt stronger, but also was really dizzy. And it wasn't helped by Misato shaking him. Eventually, Shinji gained strength to push her away and try to stand up. Then nearly fell down, but Ritsuko was there to catch him.

"It's okay, Shinji. Focus." said the Doctor.

He freed himself of the woman's grip, wondering who this lady was. Due to her blond hair being changed to black, he thought she was someone else at first. The boy tried to stand on his own without help, but it just wasn't working. Being jolted awake after being choked to near death, isn't something he could ever really prepare for. Though, he eventually stabilized himself with the nearby railing. And putting his hand out to let the ladies know to stop helping him.

"What….What happened?" Shinji whispered, his voice damaged a little from being strangled.

"The reflection disappeared. We don't know where it went, but right now the Angel is closing in." Misato explained.

The facility shook from another blast from the Angel.

"We're sorry to do this to you, Shinji. Especially with all that you've been through, but please. We need you to-" Ritsuko was cut off.

"Shut up!" Shinji coughed, he tried to shout.

The two ladies looked at each other. Then, silently agreed to tell him what happened.

"Shinji, those visions you've been having. Did they occur again when you were unconscious?" Ritsuko asked.

The boy nodded.

"The reflection did the same to us, but we were awake. It showed us disturbing imagery, for me it was a….friend of mine, dead. And it was my fault." Misato told him.

"It showed me the death of my mother. As well as my inevitable death. It even washed the blonde dye out of my hair, so that I may resemble her as well. Whatever it's doing, it's doing to us as well, even your father.``

Shinji was taken aback. He thought the reflection wanted only him. Why would it attack the three of them?

"We're all flawed in our own way, and it's taking advantage of that. Now, tell me, Shinji, what if it decides to do this to others?"

Misato placed her hand on his shoulder. Though Shinji felt more guilt from it rather than comfort, even with her understanding look.

"We need to stop this thing. Stop it from turning its eyes onto others that just so happen to be flawed. Let's pretend we're going along with its plan. And the minute it shows a weakness, we'll do the same to it. Come on, Shinji, I know you are strong enough to do this. You survived the reflections wrath longer than any of us."

Shinji looked down, feeling guilty. Until he realized a pattern. Ritusko's inevitable death, same with Misato's friend's death that she caused. Then, the foggy dreams of him and Asuka on that beach. The reflection, as cruel as it was being, perhaps was trying to help them. Showing them the future of what could be. But then why go about it this way?

The boy's head started to hurt, making him even more dizzy. Misato caught him again before he fell to the floor. And when he focused, when he looked into her eyes. The same concerned, scared, but also caring eyes. He felt that he needed to protect them, for the sake of their safety and possible happy future.

'Perhaps, I deserve to bear this pain, if it means that they're safe. They're not innocent, but they're still human.' He thought.

Shinji then pushed her away and mustered the strength to stand on his own, surprising Ritsuko and Misato. And he looked at them with a coolhead and unshakable resolve. His eyes now dark, removed of innocence and ignorance. Ready to bear the inevitable torture.

"You talked me into it. I'm sorry for everything. Now shove me in that metal coffin, so I can die so that you may live."

Oof, this was a tough one. It started out fun describing this disturbing imagery, but then it dissolved into the nitty and gritty details. I hope I got it right and you're not bored or confused by what I'm trying to do with these characters.

Do leave reviews, tell me if I'm doing something wrong.

Thanks for the support, I hope this story made your day a little bit brighter.