Log entry Sol 461

So when I was finally able to get back in contact with NASA, once the Hab was up and running and Pathfinder was able to get a charge again, I filled them in, in detail about what happened. We must have the world's best computers, they were just fine. I guess I could have brought one out to the surface to do the transcribing when we were talking with Pathfinder and my hex signs. Oh well, I should have known that NASA would have sent the best possible equipment with us. Don't know why anyone would have thought we'd need a laptop that could withstand the temperatures and lack of atmosphere, but whoever it was deserves way more money than they're making, I guarantee it.

It took me over an hour to get all the support poles together. I moved the tables over to the hole that used to be airlock one and got them up with boxes stacked on top to hold the canvas up enough that I could take spare canvas and seal strip it to the hole. Then I repressurized slowly and ran around trying not to trip over things getting the support poles up in their correct positions.

It held and I was able to take off my helmet. Next, I had to clean up. There wasn't too much stuff strewn around because I'd shoved everything in boxes, but not every box stayed where I'd put it and some of them opened up when they went flying.

The farm is dead. All of the moisture boiled off. The temperature was well below freezing, killing off any bacteria. I won't be growing any more food unless Earth soil comes in a supply probe. I'm kicking myself now for not taking any of the soil and putting it in a container in one of the rovers for safekeeping. Still, with the food coming on the Ares IV supply probe they're redirecting to me, plus the few meals I have saved, and everything I've grown, I should be able to easily make it to the probe they're filling just for me. I will have to ration but that's second nature now. When I get back to Earth I'm going to have to fight the urge to put a third of my meal away before I eat.

Anyway, I let NASA know all of this, then I reran all the systems to make sure they were working correctly even though I'd already done that before contacting them. After that, I ask them what I should do now that I'm down to two airlocks and still have at least three years until anyone gets here. I'm not sure the Hab could survive another decompression and even if it could, that would leave me with only one airlock. I'm starting to wonder if I'm going to make it three years here or if I'm going to have to move to one of the other Ares sites.

The first solution NASA sent is for me to get one of the remote cameras, extend the wire as far as it will go, add others if need be, and carry it with me as I slowly go over every square inch of the Hab canvas in the Hab and the remaining airlocks. That'll be fun (sarcasm in case you can't tell), and of course, because I'm using the camera they'll be looking over my shoulder the entire time. I honestly don't mind that part to an extent because another pair, or 20 pairs of eyes, to make sure I don't miss something is a good idea in this situation. The problem comes when I go back and check the messages after I finish and they want me to go over certain sections again. With so few landmarks in the Hab, it won't be easy to narrow down just where I was. Oh it's easy enough for them to say at such and such time you went too fast, but I won't be watching the clock the whole time, I'll be looking at the canvas.

Ugh stupid me, the obvious solution just hit me. I can record as I go over the canvas at the same time it's sending to them "live". I just have to make sure the timestamp is on the recording, so when they tell me what time I can watch the recording to see where I was. I can also measure off the wall with Duck tape and write on it. Actually, that's not a bad idea anyway, because while the Hab isn't super tall. We all had to be able to stand up straight and not hit our heads on the top of the dome. It's also not short. I'll need a ladder or stool to check some areas and I won't see them as clearly as the camera will. Ok, that's a plan. Bonus, duck tape will seal any micro-tears in the canvas. Wait, no way will NASA be happy if I duck tape over areas I haven't viewed. Ok back to the "drawing board." I could just mark with a pencil or small pieces of tape as I finish each section, I think I'm doing somewhere between 6 and 12-inch sections per pass.

The next suggestion is for me to take strips of the extra Hab canvas we started with to seal them around each connection between airlocks two and three and the Hab itself. The double layer of seal should help strengthen the connection and keep it attached if there is an issue. If I have enough, that is, I used spare canvas to seal over airlock one. I really wanted to try and get the airlock back in position and seal around it but that was just going to be too hard. So instead I now have an additional canvas wall. That shouldn't make me nervous considering the rest of the Hab is fine, but it's not part of the original design. It's never been tested in a wind tunnel like the original design and you know the breach is the whole reason it's now a wall and not a door. No idea why I'd be nervous about it. Back to doubling up the connections. I might have to use the saddlebags I made for the trip to Ares Vallis or maybe give up one of my pop tent farms. I can't farm in them now anyway since they were connected and sharing Hab air, the moisture would have been sucked out of the soil there too.

I think I'm going to sacrifice a pop tent. It may seem strange to give up one of my farming locations in case Earth soil is sent, but food is on the way and I have a large store of frozen potatoes now and green beans too, not to mention the green bean plants, so I can afford to give up one. I want to keep the saddlebags just in case. If I am able to grow again, I shouldn't need more than the Hab floor anyway with the supplies being sent.

Which reminds me, I also asked what happens if I lose another airlock or if we find a problem with the Hab itself. I can repair small tears but if it's going to depressurize again and I can't fix it, I'm in no way shape or form ready to just hop in a rover drive to Ares I or II, even if their Habs are still standing. I don't even know if their Habs are still standing. Damn, another question to ask. They do have supplies left. I thought about going to each one ages ago and collecting them but decided it just wasn't worth it. The power is off at each site and the solar cells are no doubt buried. I'd have to clean them off, then hang out in the rover for even longer waiting for them to charge up the batteries, then go in and restart their systems. After being here on the surface for eight years and four years, nope nine years and five years respectively, they could be in worse shape. The one advantage to them is they have been depressurized so their canvas has been more slack and might move with the wind rather than strain against it which hopefully would keep them from developing tears. Still not sure it's worth it to go there. Going to Ares IV won't do me any good unless I live in the MAV and that's not a great idea either because it could wear out the life support systems in it. Ares IV and I have to have the MAV to get back in orbit to Hermes. All of this to say I asked what to do because one of the things I know that I will have to do is modify at least one rover.

They're looking into it. That means of course no fewer than fourteen teams of people are going over every possible way this could be handled. Normally I would appreciate this because that means they're being thorough and thoroughness means less possibility of failure. Right now, however, when my life is the one hanging in the balance because the smallest tiniest millimeter or micrometer could end up meaning death, I kind of want an answer faster than it's going to take them. I know I need to get the atmospheric regulator, water reclaimer, and oxygenator in one of the rovers, or divide them between the rovers. I also need to take along as many solar cells as I can.

The rovers do attach together. I'm pretty sure I mentioned in a video or log at some point that the pop tents I used for the farm are actually meant to house us if something happens with our rover. Then the other rover would be used to come and get us. We would have attached the airlock of the rover to the pop tent and come through. Then someone would go back out and connect the two rovers via the tow hitch so we could bring it back and try to repair whatever broke.

The problem is even if I strip everything I don't need out of the rover I'm not driving, the one that's serving as a trailer, it's still not going to fit everything I need to stay alive. The cabin isn't big enough. I did take solar cells along with me to Pathfinder hanging in the saddlebags I made from the spare Hab canvas. I have to come up with some other way to transport the solar cells. I need a whole lot more, as many as I can possibly take, so I can charge the batteries faster. Yes, batteries. When the rovers are attached with the tow hook they can also share life support and battery so I won't have to get out to change batteries like I did when I went to Ares Vallis. If I have to go anywhere I want to maximize the amount of distance I can get in a day so I can get there faster because that last trip was only twenty days and nearly drove me out of my mind.

Right now all I can do is wait for them to give me some ideas and start scanning Hub canvas, oh boy.

Log entry sol I don't know.

I mean I do, but your brain kind of turns to mush when you spend eight hours doing nothing but staring at Hab canvas with a camera and a magnifying lens. So I recorded, sent the video "live", remembered the time delay, and I used a camera with a digital display so I could look at it magnified to hopefully make it easier to catch tiny tears. The camera and its screen aren't large or heavy, but they still wore my arms out after a while. Before I start tomorrow, I need to find another way to carry them because I'm already sore. I haven't had to hold anything up like that for extended periods for a long time. If the soreness doesn't ease off I may have to take a day off, do it every other day or something.

The good news is so far there aren't any tears, but I only covered about a quarter of the Hab. The bad news is it will take me another three days if I don't take a day off and it doesn't mean tears don't exist. It's just that I haven't found them yet. Sometimes I really wish I had dug down into a cave and made myself a home there. Can you just imagine if NASA had looked at the site and seen Pathfinder, the solar cells, and the rovers but no Hab and no sign of it at all? I would have had to have taken it with me because I had to have the atmosphere, but it would have protected me from the sun and if I'd found or made a big enough cavern, it still would have been a smaller space than the surface area so the airlock wouldn't have been able to go as far. Maybe I wouldn't have hurt the hell out of my back again "rolling" it back closer.

I just had a thought. It's crazy, but it might work as a temporary fix if I need it. The MDV, why didn't I think of it before? Somehow it withstood that wind that nearly knocked over the MAV. I don't know how, no one does. True, it doesn't have any fuel left, but I don't need fuel. I just need power and I could run power and the solar farm to it. The space in the main cabin isn't huge, but I could take out the extra chairs and give myself more floor space if I need. I wouldn't be able to farm in there enough to keep growing the calories I need to stay alive, even if I had the soil still, but like I said, supplies are coming. Next time I talk to Houston I'll have to bring it up. I'm sure they'll still be concerned about it tipping if another storm comes but I can do the same thing I thought about for the MAV and add some guy wires to hold it steady. I could also add weight to the bottom to make it less likely to tip.

Log entry Sol 463

Okay, so NASA has some answers for me. They agreed with my plan to use the MDV as a temporary home if something happens with the HAB. It's only a temporary fix, a very temporary fix unless I can find a way to clean the CO2 scrubbers. The MDV was designed to last up to a week or two, so for me, it'll be six times as long: six weeks to two months, no wait, three months. Why is it so hard to do math right now? The MDV has its own oxygenator and water reclaimer. There's even a small mess area, a very small mess area. It's just hot water and cold water jets to rehydrate the food in the cabinet... Food! I can't believe I didn't think of it before. There's food in the MDV.

We brought food with us on the MDV. It was stocked just in case we had to abort as we descended to the surface but didn't make orbit. We had to be prepared to live in the MDV for at least a week. It wasn't food from Hermes. It also wasn't food from the Hab. All of that came in the pre-supplies and was already on the surface. We may have used it if for some reason the food already waiting for us was bad or opened, but it wasn't. The MAV had its own supply that would be offloaded back onto Hermes after docking. So the MDV had its own supply of food for six people for two weeks just to be on the safe side. We know how it's all about redundancies with NASA. I have 12 weeks worth of food in the MDV I didn't even think about. No one back on Earth thought of it either. We all forgot it was there. WOOHOO!

So I did a happy dance and now I've calmed down again. Yes, there is food in the MDV and that's great, but it needs to stay there. If something happens to the Hab I need that food while I live in the MDV. I can bring in any potatoes I still have and green beans and leaves, but I shouldn't take any food out of it yet. What if I have to live there for a while? It does mean if I have to take the rover to another site I can take that food with me and eat full rations that will last me three months or if I ration and only eat three quarters it should last me um four months I think. Seriously, why does simple math seem so hard right now? Even at three-quarters rations, it means I'd be able to eat real meals again while I'm in the Rover when I really need to be able to pay attention and focus on my driving.

That's right, that's the other thing NASA told me: the rover. I have some instructions on how to modify the rovers to take along the big three. Yeah, it took a lot less time than I expected. I have a feeling somebody was working on this already. I could ask, but I won't. I'll save that for when I get home and start taking everyone who helped me out for a beer. NASA can cover the tab, they owe me at this point and I mean salary. They didn't have to agree to come back to save me. They really don't have to. I mean yeah, the court of public opinion would probably crucify them if they left me for dead. Then again, maybe not. The public can be pretty fickle when they see the price tag. It might be enough for them to say just leave him there and let him die. I bet if I were to go on the internet to Twitter I'd see a hashtag that says let Mark Watney die or leave him there or stop wasting money, and I can't say I blame them.

Sometimes, I really wonder, is it worth it? They are spending millions and possibly billions of dollars planning ways to keep me alive and modify Ares IV equipment to get me home. Is it really worth the price? Mom and Dad would say yes and I love them for it but they're biased. My crew would probably say yes. Actually, I'd bet almost all of the astronauts would say yes, but we're a crazy bunch. I mean we climb on top of rockets to get blasted into space. Rockets, who are we kidding? They're actually missiles that have been repurposed, or at least they were in the early days. They still could be for that matter. So we're humans who ride on missiles. Who does that? We're crazy, but a good kind of crazy.

Okay the rover, gotta get back on track. Just like I thought, I'm going to use one rover as a trailer. I'll pull out all of the seats and everything else I can to make space, though I won't do anything inside to damage the ability to hold pressure. I'll also pull the extra seats out of the rover I'm driving so I have space to store things there. That's it though. It's the trailer that gets the major overhaul. I won't just be pulling everything out. That's the first step. The second step is to cut a giant hole out of the roof. Yes, a hole out of the roof. Yeah, I guess not just astronauts are crazy, maybe it's everyone at NASA. Probably the only way it works is to have people that are a little bit crazy.

I'll drill the holes with the sample drill along the roof of the rover in a large rectangular shape. I will cut out the hole, file down the edges to make it as smooth as possible, and then glue in Hab canvas that should make a balloon when the vehicle is pressurized. I know they say rectangular but I think I'm going to change that a bit. Everyone knows air pressure hates a 90-degree angle so I'm going to round off the corners to make the two short on at the front and back of the Rover, well not all the way to the back, it has to stop before that or the airlock will be useless. Anyway, I'm going to make them more circular so the whole shape is more of an oval, a rectoval. No, that's dumb. I guess it doesn't actually need a name, just feels like it should have one.

It's going to take forever. It's not like I don't have the time. Oh no, I have all the time in the world once I finish the canvas survey, and I really want to be done with that. Someone suggested I do a canvas survey every thirty sols. I'm not sure I can take staring at the canvas for eight hours a day for four sols every month. I might decamp to the MDV in protest if they say that, even if it is a smart idea to try and head off any further tears and decompressions. I could wind up digging my eyes out if I have to stare out the canvas for four or five sols every damn month. I can't imagine the eye strain.

Not that the drilling will be any better, but it has an end to the project. I have to drill 760 holes by NASA's estimation, that might be different when I oval out the ends but not by too much. Each hole takes just over two and a half minutes to drill, but the drill can only drill for so many seconds at a time before it runs out of charge. I have two drills but they take about forty minutes to charge. I'd only get three holes done before I'd have to charge them and over eight hours that's only thirty holes a sol. It would take me twenty-six sols to get all the holes done and then I'd still have to chip out all the little pieces in between the holes and do the filing. I won't be done for over a month and I don't want to wait that long to have my escape plan ready. Naturally, some smart person back on Earth thought of that too so I'll be hardwiring a drill into the Hab using one of the rover's charging lines. I only need one since I'll only be charging one.

Instructions are being sent for how to do the hardwiring, though I've already pulled out my electronics kit and had a look. I think I have a plan now to just see if what I'm planning is what they suggest.

Log entry Sol 464

The first thing I did today was to go ahead and run guy wires to stabilize the MDV which required a bit of climbing. I really hope none of the satellites were taking pictures then because that would look bad, like really bad. My mother would freak out to see pictures of me climbing a spacecraft even knowing the low gravity here means I stand a much lower chance of injury if I fall. Then I started on the rover. Turns out it was decided I can work on it for my eight-hour EVA allotment every day then when I go back in I can do the canvas survey, meaning that will take even longer. Yep, really exciting living here on Mars I tell ya. Guess it's not much different than life on Earth then huh?

Next, I hardwired the drill. It wasn't hard because unlike when I wired in Pathfinder the drill fit in the airlock so I could work on it without being in my EVA suit. YAY! It's the small things, and hey being a small thing made it easier. Sorry, that was really bad but I can't help it, any little attempt at a joke I can make right now is a good thing. The advantage to hardwiring is I don't have to stop and wait for the drill to charge.

I clarified the cut with NASA. They wanted me to mark it on the trailer so they could see it with the Pathfinder camera. I'm not sure how they thought I was going to do that, pencil won't show on the camera, it's too light and it's not like Sharpies work on the surface. The ink inside would boil off. So I used the magic substance Duck Tape. They approved the shape, including my change to take out the right angles. Then I started drilling holes.

Problem: I'm not going to be able to get as many holes as I planned each day because the drill overheats pretty quickly. It's not meant to run for so long. Fortunately, it cools off quickly but it's still time I won't be drilling each day.

I managed to get seventy-five holes done today and it felt like a million but looks like nothing, wonderful.

Log entry Sol 465

Yeah, an entire day of drilling and then an entire evening of looking for tiny tears. If only I hadn't been dumb enough to leave my data stick behind I'd at least have decent music. Disco and the Beatles are not good to keep me from glazing over during boring tasks like drilling and scanning. I tried Vogel's music and that helps some as I try to figure out the words or make up crazy lyrics to match what I think I hear. It's like those really bad, super old at this point youtube Bad Lip Reading videos. Beck was supposed to get them to send me some of my own music files, something about a prescription for my anxiety. I should email and ask him if he ever asked anyone about sending the files because I haven't gotten them. Someone probably decided it wasn't worth the bandwidth since they're sending me a new data stick full of stuff anyway. Bureaucracy at its finest I'm sure.

Anyway, I got one hundred and thirty-seven holes drilled today. It was actually easier once I got to the top than it was on the side. I just had to stand on a large rigid geological sample container, you know a box, to be able to reach the side. Now I can stand on the top of the rover. I'm about a quarter of the way through the drilling and halfway done with the scanning. The end is in sight. The sight is blurry but it's there.

Log entry Sol 466

One hundred and forty-five holes today. I'm halfway done! Of course, the message I got from whoever was CapCom today was that they thought I'd have more done by now. Jerks. I wanted to tell them to come do it themselves or worse but I resisted.

Log entry Sol 467

Damn it! Damn it! Damn it! I totally screwed up. If it's not the planet trying to kill me it's my own damned stupidity.

I killed Pathfinder. I am so dumb. Every time the drill has overheated I set it aside to let it cool, depending on where I am at the time I've leaned it against the rover or laid it down on the ground. Today I leaned it against Pathfinder, which I have done before, but today was the end. When I picked it back up, the drill wouldn't start. There wasn't even a power light. Not great but I have another drill. Anyway I checked the breakers I'd put in the system and they'd all tripped, just like they're supposed to if too much electricity flows through. Great, it worked the way it was supposed to. I reset the breakers and went back to work.

When I was done I reported back to Houston and waited and waited and waited. No response. I sent another message and waited and waited and waited, still no response. I pulled up the troubleshooting cheat sheet I was sent for Pathfinder and checked. It had stopped talking to the Hab so I checked the rover just in case. It wasn't talking to the rover either. Ok step one, check that power is still flowing to Pathfinder. Nope, it wasn't. Yay easy fix, just plug back in the lead that was disconnected. I'd worry about how it got disconnected later.

Then I pulled it out of the probe to clean it off and realized the insulation was melted. Not a good thing, that means too much current went through it, but where did that power come from? Then it hit me, the drill. When I leaned the drill against Panel A it leaned against some of the shredded mylar left over from the balloons that encompassed Pathfinder when it landed. Mylar is conductive. I fried my only means of communication with the rest of humanity. It's dead. There's no way to fix it.

I'm alone again, until a supply probe with a radio lands and who knows when that will be or where it will land exactly. I never got a manifest for the first probe. The first one may not have a radio. I have no idea how long I'll be out of contact. Damn it!

Log entry Sol 467

Ok, things are bad but not unsurvivable. They will be harder as I have to now completely remodel the rover on my own. I'm going to take a break from the mods, other than finishing out the hole because I have those instructions. I'll work on the MDV to make sure it's ready to move into if I need to, then I'll go back to working on the rover. In the evenings, I'll make plans on moving the big three: the atmospheric regulator, water reclaimer, and oxygenator into the rover and getting as many solar cells packed up to take along.

In the meantime, I collected enough rocks to leave a message in Morse code. "PF FRIED WITH 9 AMPS. DEAD FOREVER. PLAN UNCHANGED. WILL MODIFY ROVER AND MDV. WILL WATCH FOR SUPPLY PROBES" Yeah that wasn't a short message to leave. It took hours, literally, just to make all the dots and dashes. If I were on the moon I could just shuffle my feet and "write" out the letters, can't do that here because the wind would just blow them away. Maybe not before they got an image though now that I have no way of checking, I'm sticking with rocks. Seriously, this would be easier on the moon. Of course, if I were on the moon that wouldn't be necessary since I'd be close enough they could rescue me easily, a three or four-day flight instead of over a few months. The number of months actually depends on when they can leave. If they left during the Hohman transfer window they could be here in three months, if not it could be nearly a year. Yeah, if I'd been stranded on the Moon, I'd be home by now already. I just had to go to Mars though, come to Mars, whatever, you get what I mean. Not that anyone will be reading these to get my meaning for who knows how long now. Damn, I hate it when I don't think before acting. One of these days my stupidity is going to get me killed and on this killer planet, my stupidity just increases the odds of death.

"Pathfinder is fried?" Melody asked, "as in gone completely?"

"That's what the message says," Venkat replied and held out the image. "Here, see for yourself."

"So now what?"

"Now we watch, prepare the probe, and all go crazy because we can't do anything else," Venkat answered with complete honesty.

"Wonderful," Melody growled. "I guess I'd better call the Watneys and then the President."

"I'm going to ask Mindy to adjust her schedule to Mark's and keep watch over him during daylight hours on Mars. She's already learning Morse code to translate any new messages he leaves for us."

"Find a way to give that girl a raise and maybe a fancy job title while you're at it. Living on Earth on Mars time is going to be majorly stressful. We'd better also consult with Keller and Shields for both Mark and Mindy."

"Got it, will do."

"So I'm space paparazzi now?" Mindy moaned.

"I know it seems to be a demotion, but you know the site better than anyone else now. We need your expertise. I'll have someone else also switch to Mark's schedule so you won't be alone and you can take your normal days off and use your vacation days. At the very least we'll at least have you backed up by someone else at all times. We might put the others on the standard eight-hour mission control shift schedule. The director has insisted you get a raise. She'd also like to give you a new title, something fancy she said. Do you have any ideas?" Venkat asked.

"You mean other than the obvious space paparazzi?"

"Yeah, we'll think about it. You are indispensable. I hope you know that."

"Well, I guess my next check will show that," she deadpanned. "It's getting dark on Mars now, I should probably head home and see if I can find a way to get to sleep."

"Thank you, Mindy."

Grace and Timothy sat on their sofa staring at the picture of the message that had been sent to them.

Karen filled them in on what she had learned. "He's fine for now. He still has plenty of food until we get him the supply probe. The MDV is a viable second option for housing. He's over halfway done with the rover modifications. He can figure out the rest on his own."

"I'm just so tired," Grace mumbled and her husband hugged her, tears running down his own face.

"I'm sorry," Karen replied. "They're doing everything they can to get the supply probe done in time and they have accelerated the work on Hermes, as well as all of the Ares IV supplies probes. It is possible they can leave during the next Hohlman Transfer Window in eleven months."

Neither of Mark's parents responded.

"Is there anything I can do for you?"

"I think I just need to be drugged until he gets back. I can't handle this over and over again," Grace said.

Karen just hugged her.

Log entry 467 (2)

I hope my parents are okay. I'm really worried I'm going to get home and they'll have had heart attacks or something from the stress. Will they even be alive? Will I ever get to see them again? To hug them?

And this time it really is all my fault. I have to make a new message first thing in the morning.

Karen found herself knocking on the Watneys' door about noon..

Grace opened the door but didn't speak. She looked as if she hadn't slept at all.

"I have something for you," Karen said and held out an image. "The translation is on the back. We had to fill in some letters, but the message was pretty clear."

I'm sorry Mom and Dad. I love you. I promise I'll make it home, take care of yourselves so I can hug you when I get home.

Grace shook her head and tears shone in her eyes, but Karen could see a small smile begin at the corners of the older woman's mouth.