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Could we please stop walking for once?"
It's a plea -a sigh- in the way he's almost begging him.
Like his lungs won't hold up much longer beneath the invisible pressure coming down.
Crushing him.
" What?"
Itachi didn't expect his brother to say much else in response.
Because even under all this weight- this is the first time in years of doing this that he's complained.
Because he knows why his brother wants redemption.
Even feels it rattle down his very core when Sasuke turns those questioning eyes over his shoulder.
His feet hesitate briefly and then stop.
Crinkling leaves and then-
Silence.
It's even more pressure- and now Itachi knows it's his turn to speak.
Had he even meant to say that out loud to begin with?
He doesn't think so.
He can't be sure.
But he groans because he can't take it anymore.
The constant trek through the forest.
The sheer loneliness.
At first it was great to spend time alone with Sasuke.
Reconnect with him as his big brother.
Try and push through the traumas from their past.
But now-
"What is this going to accomplish?"
That he certainly didn't intend to say.
But the unseen force that's grown steadily heavier on his shoulders is squeezing the words out of him.
And it feels so good to say it.
"I should've killed you when I had the chance.'' Sasuke scoffs and shakes his head-raven hair reflecting blue in the moonlight.
A void.
One Itachi feels like he can't escape.
Because they're in this thing together.
And that reality might as well be his own damn fault.
"I'm serious, Sasuke."
Sasuke lets out a disbelieving laugh-quiet, like he too didn't mean to let it slip.
Itachi chews his lip and waits for him to speak.
And even though it's mere seconds, it feels like an eternity.
When you're running out of time-everything feels that way.
"And I seriously should have-"
Sasuke doesn't even get his attempt at comedically side stepping the conversation out before-
"This might be how you think we'll redeem the Uchiha name but-"
"We are out here-" Sasuke spins on his heels, throwing a hand in the air to motion at everything around them- it's mostly trees as usual. "-doing our due diligence as Konoha Shinobi serving the village-"
"Serving the village is what caused me to ruin the Uchiha name-"
" You didn't ruin the name of-"
"We're only feared now! Do you really want that for our clan?!"
"The Uchiha have always been fearsome! What did you think-"
"Tell me, Sasuke, how is hiding in the woods-" Itachi throws his hands in the air in mocking; gesturing to the same trees and taking a step closer to his brother. "-going to help us connect with the people of Konoha and change their perception of us? If we stay out here I'll always be the scary guy who murdered our family-"
Sasuke sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose.
"Well you are pretty scary" he mutters.
Itachi only rolls his eyes and pokes Sasuke's forehead.
"I want to go home."
Sasuke lets his hand fall from his face and levels Itachi with a very unamused expression.
"Seriously? Home?"
" Home! Go home, fix up the compound. It'd be great for Sarada! She'd have her own training area, and-of course- uncle Itachi to help her-" he motions to himself proudly with a raised brow.
"Can we talk about this another time?" Sasuke groans tiredly, shoving his hand in his pocket and shifting his weight.
Itachi sets his jaw in frustration but says nothing.
Simply nods at the other man and turns his gaze back to the moon.
The moon that's always looked the same.
No matter where he is.
On ANBU missions.
On a battlefield.
On bounties with Kisame.
Here.
Home.
He can always count on the moon to stay the same. .
It's him who's always changing.
"Plus you've been gone so long I bet Sarada has forgotten your face. Sakura maybe even found a new guy by now-"
" Right because that's why we suddenly need to go home so urgently."
"Well-" Itachi shrugs, turning to face him in sincerity. "-maybe it should be-"
They're feet hurt.
They both need showers-
and they both sigh when that same guard-who's always at the same gate- greets them in the same way he always does.
"H-ows it hangin' Uchihas'?" Drawn out and mundane.
They both manage to pull off a, seemingly appreciative, polite wave- but trudge onwards.
Sasuke, a tad more excited than Itachi about seeing a certain someone.
The familiarity of this place is already unsettling-
And Itachi wonders if that will help or hinder his goal of persuading his little bro to just stop moving.
For once.
What chaos had he caused to propel him so far forwards his long legs never stop going?
"The Uchiha brothers!" Naruto chimes when they push through the Hokage office doors. "Great to see you! Just in time actually- I'll need your mission reports and then- get some rest because- you're headed out first thing in the morning!" Naruto claps a hand down on Itachi's shoulder and he tries to fight the urge to shrug him off as he glares at his little brother-who only seems amused.
"So i guess theres no chance of staying here for a while?" Sasuke's voice drips in sarcasm and his eyes fall to the peeved-looking man beside him.
"Not this time" Naruto chimes happily, but gives Itachi a curious glance. "Why? Do you want to stay a little longer?"
"Actually I wouldn't mind-"
"We'll be ready by dawn. " Sasuke cuts them both off -all humor vacated from his tone.
All three glance around at each other as though someone else can provide the answer -for a question none of them know how to ask.
Itachi, just hoping Naruto gets the hint.
Sasuke, hoping he doesn't.
"Great. Unless of course-" Naruto begins slowly, his eyes darting between the brothers curiously.
As if, just eye-balling it, he could somehow see the shift between them.
Had it happened recently?
On their travels?
"I'll come by later." Itachi directs at Naruto in a low voice- like it softens the blow to Sasukes ego and the faux finality of his statement.
Which is one quality his company posseses that Sasuke doesn't particularly enjoy.
Unlike most people- Naruto and Itachi dont just blindly follow Sasuke's orders.
Not like the military police who look up to him.
Not like the chunin who beg him to train them.
No, these two have a special way of defying him.
"You'll be coming by later too right? Like, later later?" Naruto asks, letting his gaze fall on Sasuke. "-not here. My place. Sakura and Sarada are coming for dinner dattebayo!" The Hokage rambles on nervously- "Hinatas' making some Yaki Oni-giri that is to die for. I mean, it's no ramen, but the honey flavor! Oh! And you can come too, Itachi " he adds the latter as an apparent after thought- Itachi appreciates the sentiment but-
"Thanks for the offer but I'll pass this time. I need a shower. I'll stop by again before you leave the office." Itachi gives a polite bow and Naruto nods in both understanding and dismissal.
When Naruto starts in on Sasuke again- something about dinner and Sarada's progress- Itachi takes the opportunity to slip away.
Unnoticed by the blonde.
But Sasuke is all too aware.
"I thought I'd find you here." His voice would've been jarring- had he not sensed him coming the moment he set foot in the compound.
"What gave it away?"
"Maybe our clan symbol had something to do with it." Sasuke dead pans and pushes past his brother-whos getting dressed and shaking his long wet hair free from the collar of his fresh black t-shirt.
"Astute observation."
"What are you doing here?"
"Showering."
"We don't live here-"
"We own it-" Itachi practically groans, letting his dark eyes study his brothers face. "Listen. I know this place holds bad memories for both of us. But we can-"
"What? Revive the clan compound?" Sasuke asks angrily.
"This place would feel a lot better with life in it again."
The softness in Itachi's voice when he says it is what finally makes it click in Sasuke's head.
The real reason Itachi wants to come home.
Such a sad, lonely place their childhood home had become.
And although it wasn't Itachi's fault that he was ordered to do such a twisted thing-the thing that has eternally fucked the both of them up- he knew Itachi often felt like it was.
And maybe them all living there as a family- if Sarada actually made use of those sad lonely training grounds-
-if he fixed the place up-
Maybe, just maybe,
-at least Itachi hopes- that bringing life back to the compound could at least partially make up for the whole thing.
One day when the clan is restored.
One day when the compound doesn't look as awful, and desolate as it had felt the day of the massacre.
The day Itachi would never come back from.
The day Sasuke nearly didn't come back from.
"That day is embedded here. It's in the wood." Itachi says thoughtfully-as if sensing what Sasuke had been thinking about.
Looking out from their childhood porch to the other small houses in the compound, it seems empty.
Two loan survivors amongst the dusty rubble.
A preserved monument to all the turmoil that had simply spiraled out of control.
"It needs more memories or it's going to stay stuck there for all eternity." Itachi's gaze never strays from Sasukes.
"And we can't make memories here if we're somewhere else?" Sasuke asks rhetorically, raising a brow.
A smile quirks up the corners of Itachi's mouth and he nods contently.
"Now you're getting it."
Sasuke groans.
"Ugh, can we talk about this later? Mahh! I have to go pickup Sakura and Sarada for dinner with Naruto-" Sasuke begins complaining, but it only widens Itachi's smile.
"Good luck! Bring home a rice ball for me!"
"If youre lucky!"
Authors Note:
Hey guys!
Just a few things before we get in too deep!
Im so glad I've been fortunate enough to get back to writing lately and get to a point I can start releasing this fic!
Its going to be a long one so buckle in!
Im aiming for weekly chapter drops and have a good chunk of the story already finished being edited!
I want to avoid any specific tags that will be spoilers- but I also want to be upfront with my readers too!
Expect to see-
-some AU that mostly stems from Itachi not having died like he did in cannon.
Most everything else is the same and what isn't shall be revealed through the story!
-some more steamy chapters later on because this is a romance!
-themes of PTSD, depression, and anxiety like most good Uchiha related fics.
-and- as the title suggests- major character death!
(lol)
aaand, finally, I'll update my warnings as we go and post specific warnings for respective chapters too.
I wanted to challenge myself with this fic in a few different ways, one way being really fleshing out Ten-Ten's character!
The ship for this fic is Itachi and Ten-Ten, as a heads up for anyone not into it.
I felt like we dont see that scenario enough and decided to give it a shot- but it really took on a life of its own!
I do not own Naruto or any of its characters, dattebayo!