Chapter 38
"Tucker," Rory sighed at the sight of his name on her cell phone. "What's going on?" she asked, picking up. She wasn't happy to hear from him, but she knew there was generally a good reason if he was calling, but still her answer was a little reluctant – like answering a work call.
"Good. Finally!" Tucker replied, sounding annoyed. "Who the hell is Logan, by the way?" he inquired, catching Rory off guard.
"What?" Rory asked, feeling confused.
"The guy who just picked up. He said his name was Logan. Who is he? And why is he picking up your phone?" Tucker inquired.
"Oh, god..," Rory exhaled, frustrated and hating that her ex still acted like an overly jealous husband sometimes. He'd never actually been that during the good days, but with time something had awakened in him. Rory realized what must've happened, and while she felt no shame, it was not a conversation she was keen on having.
"Well?" Tucker insisted.
Rory knew that in theory she could've just claimed it to be a friend, but right now, she just didn't feel like fibbing.
"First of all, that's none of your business, Tucker," Rory scolded him. "And if you really must know Logan's someone I've been seeing, and my phone must've still been connected to his car, that's all" she wanted to just come clean and end this discussion right here. Tucker generally knew that it was where his rights ended, since Rory had indeed dated before this.
It was then Rory heard her phone ping, and glanced briefly at it, finding it to be Logan, informing her of the unexpected interaction. A little late, but it was sweet of him to attempt to give her the heads up just the same.
"Right," Tucker replied, Rory's decisiveness and straightforwardness coming as a reality check to him.
"What's up? Everything okay with Cor?" Rory asked, wanting him to move past the newsflash.
"Ah, yeah," Tucker said, adding - "Actually, no."
"What?" Rory exclaimed, sounding confused.
"I found some sleeping pills in her room. They've got your name on the prescription. I was wondering if you know anything about that." Tucker asked.
"What? No, I don't," Rory said, desperately trying to think where she might've gotten them. It was then she remembered one physician she'd seen years ago suggesting the majority of her problems were linked to her lack of sleep, and prescribed her Zaleplon. She'd only tried it once, and Paris had suggested she stayed clear of it after she'd claimed to have eaten all of her cereal one night.
As soon as her brain had linked the existence of such pills to herself, the realization that her daughter might be doing worse than she'd realized hit her. What if she was…? - Rory couldn't even fully think that thought.
"She hasn't been herself, you know," Tucker said, worriedly.
This was something Rory and Logan differed in. When it came to Rory being concerned about her daughter, this was something she and Tucker had always had in common. They both loved the girl dearly. And Rory was used to having a partner in parenting. So what if sometimes, they ended up competing in their approaches.
"Yeah, I know. There was an incident," Rory sighed, and went on to delicately explain the gist as she knew it.
At the end of this phone call Rory was a lot more concerned than she had been before, and found herself typing a text message to Logan after she'd ended the call.
"I'm going to have to go to Boston. I'm worried about Cor," Rory typed.
She wasn't aiming to stay for a long time, but it was likely more than just a quick visit. Reluctantly she went to pack herself a bag.
Rory and Logan did steal themselves a little moment of goodbye, but Rory felt herself closing up, not wanting to share the severity of the issue with Logan, not wanting him to blame his son in any way, knowing things were difficult on that front as it was. It was almost as if right at this moment her family took priority to her relationship.
Logan watched her drive off, having sensed genuine concern about her daughter in Rory's presence. He was worried too - both for Corinne and for Rory, not knowing exactly what was going on nor what this meant for them. But he knew there was little besides being there for her when she needed him that he could do right now.
Logan returned inside, determined to just focus on other things while he came to terms with this turn of events. He'd had things planned for him and Rory, little dates and outings… but they'd just have to wait.
As Logan made his way into the living room, he saw his youngest, Eléa, getting herself a soda in the kitchen. He paused, knowing he needed to thread carefully.
He made some small noise, announcing his presence by placing his phone on the counter, not wanting to alert her, and went to get a glass of water.
It was then Logan saw a trace of redness in Eléa's face. She'd been crying. Eléa's face was a lot like her mother's in that sense, having the same tell-tale signs of when she'd been upset like her upper lip and nose becoming a little reddish besides the eyes. For the life of him, he couldn't remember teenage years being this difficult, if he really thought about it - nearly all of the kids he knew had some type of issues and a tough life, including Rory's.
"You okay?" Logan asked carefully.
"Uh-huh," Eléa replied, taking a sip of her drink.
"You can talk to me if you want," Logan tried to offer.
"I'm sick of talking," Eléa mumbled, avoidantly.
"Of course. I know sessions can be intense sometimes. Too much heavy thinking," Logan tried to sympathize and hint at the fact that he'd too done his share of therapy. It hadn't been terribly useful, and that was the one thing that made him doubt the point of going at it again, and the fact that his daughter too was trying it.
"Yeah," Eléa sighed.
"You want to go catch a movie or something? We don't have to talk," Logan replied, hoping to give her something to do instead. He genuinely wished he wasn't coming off too desperate to spend time or to talk to her. Hence he added, "Rory just got pulled away to Boston and I seem to find myself with a lot of time on my hands." Logan shrugged, wanting to make it sound casual, almost like it was him that could use her company to kill time. Was it cool enough of him? He couldn't be sure.
It was how the afternoon pretty much went. They saw some older indie movie, something about a guy searching for a time traveling partner through a newspaper ad and who everyone believed to be crazy until he proved them wrong. A bit of sci-fi, a hint of romance, some humor and a dash of action. Overall, not a bad movie. But throughout this experience Logan and Eléa really didn't interact much other than the practicalities - what the seat number was, what flavored popcorn she wanted and so on.
But it was better than nothing, and more personal time than Logan had had the privilege of spending with her in a while.
On their way back, they passed the private school Logan had been thinking about admitting his kids to come fall.
"This is the place that I was thinking for you and Theo," Logan said, slowing down a bit.
The place looked decent, kind of reminded him of Rivers that he had himself attended. There were good reviews, good results and plenty of extracurricular opportunities which were a blessing considering how small the town was.
"You know, you could just ship me to a boarding school if you want," Eléa replied, revealing a layer in herself that made Logan worry about her too.
"Is that something you want?" Logan asked, before he replied with anything else.
"It doesn't matter what I want," Eléa replied.
"It does to me," Logan replied.
Eléa just shrugged.
"Nobody ever asked what I wanted growing up and I want you to know that it does matter. If you'd prefer another school, I'd be willing to consider it, you know," Logan continued. "But for what it's worth, I don't want you in a boarding school but rather living at home if I can persuade you," he added.
"But why?" Eléa asked.
"What do you mean - why?" Logan asked, deciding to pull up on the side of the road to talk. He knew that that action alone could backfire and close her back up, but he wanted his mind clear of distractions for a moment. He knew how important this was.
"I mean…," Eléa began, taking a deep breath. It seemed some of what she was feeling and wanting to express were residues from her session with the therapist. "I'm clearly in the way. I'm holding you back from whatever… and I know I pretty much forced myself to stay with you by saying I didn't want to stay with mom. You're here in this place, in the middle of nowhere because of me. It takes an hour to go to the movies, and even that is a tiny place. You can't do your work here and then we end up moving again in six months' time anyways. And I'm going to have to go to another school and find new friends again," Eléa explained.
"You're not in the way," Logan replied, hoping he could somehow make her see that with more than just words.
"Yeah, but you can't really promise me you won't want to move again, can you?" Eléa insisted.
On that note Logan couldn't do much more than sigh deeply, since he really hadn't thought things out in the long term. He didn't have to work, and there were things he could do online, of course. But he couldn't guarantee that long term something like that would suffice for him so he wouldn't be bored out of his mind. That was his problem, however, and he wasn't going to let his kids take that kind of weight. They weren't responsible for his self-fulfillment.
"If we ever do, I wouldn't do it lightly," Logan replied, hoping that would count for something.
"Yeah, still," Eléa replied.
"I want you to live with me. I want to get to know you better. I am so proud of you that you asked for help and told everybody you wanted to come with me, that you did that and took yourself out of an unhealthy situation. I sincerely hope that in time, you'll see this. I hope you'll feel better about yourself too, whether it's through talking to… whoever or just giving it time. Because I don't want you to feel like you're in the way. I promise you, you're not," Logan assured.
"I am just saying that you can… I mean ship me off to boarding school, I mean. Doesn't mean that I would resent you for it," Eléa explained.
"Okay, I appreciate that, I guess… but really, if I can help it, and if this school here can provide you with a good education, I don't really see the reason why I would want to. And I know I can't expect you to believe me, so please just let me try and show you… one day at the time," Logan said, hoping to have gotten through to her at least in some way.