Oh my god, what the hell did I write yesterday? It's so unbelievably cringe that I'm ashamed of myself. I've torn those pages out of this diary.
Why would I write something like that? I must be reading too many light novels. No one writes a diary like that. I know how my abilities work, why would I keep a written record of their details? It's like I'm begging for someone to find out. I'll have to keep those pages hidden somewhere safe now that I've torn them out.
Reading over what I wrote, it definitely seems like I was trying to establish a narrative of some kind. Worse still, if anyone ever actually read that, it's so over the top that they'd think I have a crush on Raiko. Ugh.
The sorts of diaries that appear in novels are always ridiculous. It took me most of yesterday evening to write all of that out and my hand cramped up. No one would ever go on for pages and pages like that in a proper diary. That conversation I wrote down is mostly invented after the fact anyway. I can't claim to remember every word we spoke perfectly and there were a lot more 'ums' and awkward silences in the real thing, I'm sure. Why was I writing a meet-cute scenario for some random girl I ran into in an arcade? She's probably almost ten years older than me too.
Who even keeps hand-written diaries any more? I mean, I do, but up until two days ago, I was doing that more or less ironically, so that I'd have something different to do in situations where everyone around me is just staring at their phones like glass-eyed zombies. It was actually kind of fun to not use a word processor that underlines my mistakes and makes me go back and correct everything all the time, but even if I decide to make a habit of keeping a paper diary, no one would ever write an entry like that. Novelists are all consummate liars.
This is what a proper diary entry should look like:
-.-.-.-.-
June 21. A few scattered clouds. Got one answer wrong on my exam, but only because the exam itself had an error in the question. Moon in Cancer, everyone's overly emotional. Found evidence that someone had been fishing in the river at lunch. Probably between 7 and 12.
Brother got home early and picked up a new manga. Been holding onto it since he got home, won't let me read it. Being a jerk about it.
Direct communication with RH. Must have looked me up and found my number. She texted me something about her father and mother, but I didn't get it. Apparently, some of her dad's old drums have been stolen. Interesting.
-.-.-.-.-
See? That's a proper diary entry. It makes no sense to anyone but me and no one would want to read a novel full of those. If I come back and read it in a few years, even I may not know what it means. That's fine though, I can't imagine wanting to look back on my boring middle school life.
From now on, my diary entries will be more like that and less like light novels. If I ever feel the need to write something long like that again though, maybe I'll do it here, then tear the pages out and hide them somewhere safe. That way I won't leave anything behind that someone could snoop on. That would require something interesting to happen to me again though, like meeting Raiko again somewhere.
I hope that I do. She's got more experience with the sorts of things we can do even if she's not as strong as me. If I ever see her again, I'll have to make a point of observing her without being detected so she can't give me the slip so easily.