Chapter 46
The almost sickeningly sweet yet nostalgic smell of cotton candy and the screams of those riding the wooden contraption called Excalibur filled everyone's senses like an overwhelming tidalwave. Hawkings of carnival vendors and the predictable selection of pop music had become the soundtrack of the day along with it. But despite a certain degree of grossness, loudness and ridiculous ride prices, one could still roll one's eyes over despite not needing to count pennies, it was with childish glee that the group explored their surroundings.
"Oh my god! I take it back! I don't think I want to ride this," Rory exclaimed, seeing the wooden roller coaster and hearing the screams coming from a cart rushing down its steepest downhill. It was the wooden part about this thing that creeped her out the most. A part of it was about the fact that she hadn't done this in a while.
"Don't you dare, mom! You promised!" Corinne demanded, laughingly.
"You can hold my hand," Logan promised in a low chuckle.
It was kind of funny even, how effortlessly they were all there. After all, this wasn't even their first outing like this, the concert, several weeks ago, having set the precedent. Since then, there had been numerous barbecues, casual shared rides to Freeport, lunches, museum visits and boat rides. The kids had been out and about several dozen times by mid-August, as that was where they were at, as well, and it was solely because of Rory that they had not made it out to Southern Maine, as promised, before now, especially if they wanted to go together. Which they had.
"No, she's going to hold my hand," Corinne replied, jokingly, and grabbed her mother's hand with endearment, having overheard Logan.
"What about me?! Don't I deserve my hand to be held?" Theo laughed, pretending to be offended.
Rory enjoyed observing Theo and Corinne together these days, as they were now too, talking casually. She wasn't quite sure what had shifted in that relationship of theirs, but they seemed to be friends again. Or maybe just a little more, as they were rather relaxed around each-other physically, on occasion seen sitting with one's arm around the other or simply not keeping the distance one usually would with just friends. Maybe they were just taking things slow? Or maybe solving things had transformed them into some brother-sister-like state? Rory mostly just trusted Logan on this, seeing him not over react or really not react much at all whenever she'd send him a questioning look about the two. Rory hadn't demanded a full explanation from him or her daughter on the matter, seeing things work out as it was. However, they had fixed things, for which Rory was relieved about, wasn't Rory's business. Not really.
"Oh, buttercup…," Liam teased his brother, reminding Logan of his two buddies Colin and Finn and how they used to joke about.
It wasn't just the six of them, however. Liam had brought his girlfriend of the month, Cassie, whom Rory had only ever seen a handful of times, along and Eléa had found herself a few more friends of her own age from a pottery class she and Corinne had been taking these past few weeks. So, there they were - not just the two combined families, but also three other kids who Rory and Logan were responsible for at the time being. But considering they were all more or less capable of looking after their basic needs, the task didn't seem that daunting. And the kids were happy - that was the most important thing, wasn't it? Rory was kind of proud of herself for being able to not need to butt her nose into everything.
"Don't be gross, Liam," Cassie scolded him. The redhead was known for a rather odd and often expletive-filled banter. But she was nice, once one looked past the grumpy exterior she initially showed people.
choice of words.
"Okay, everyone got their phones?" Logan asked, knowing soon the group would disperse along the carnival grounds with their phones as the only means to find them afterwards.
The response was affirmative.
"Come on! Let's go, Mom!" Corinne said, grabbing her mother's hand, not giving Rory a way out.
"Help!" Rory yelped playfully at Logan, but let herself be dragged off as Logan chuckled. He was not going to fight it, even if he had promised to hold her hand. Maybe he could even convince her to go on round two later. But for now, he was more than happy to watch her from the sidelines and sticking to getting some photographic evidence of the fact.
He'd heard of Rory's fascination with rollercoasters from her earlier days, how she and her mother had once spent half a summer riding all the best ones in Connecticut, Massachusetts and New York. Rory had also admitted to him how her love had been cut short that one time she'd been stuck in a car for two hours one time, thankfully upright and not in any serious danger, but still. But Logan knew that for the sake of her daughter, she was willing to overcome a lot of things.
"Hey, dad! Are you going to come with us?" Theo asked, having opted to go for the Dragon's descent since Rory and Corinne had gotten the last few seats on the Excalibur.
"Ah, sure, why not," Logan said, forgoing the photo op. He was flattered to be invited, and he was still getting used to this. This seemed to be happening more and more, and every once in a while, his kids genuinely showed interest in doing something with him. It didn't even matter if it was alone or together. He took it as a sign that he must've been doing something right.
After a good hour or so, Logan snuck up on Rory by blindfolding her with his palms, wanting to surprise her.
Rory could recognize him by his scent before she felt him. It was a definite aphrodisiac for her, his own scent combined with a hint of the sandalwood, citrus and bergamot. She turned around laughing, ending up in his arms around the back of her neck instead.
"Ha-ha," Rory teased.
"It's not very easy to sneak up on you," Logan chuckled.
"Not anymore," Rory chimed.
"Oh really? Why's that?" Logan teased in return.
"I could smell you," Rory admitted.
"Uh?" Logan reacted, taking an inconspicuous sniff at himself. "Do I smell?" he reflected.
He kind of did, it had been a long day already.
"It's not bad, don't worry," Rory replied, her arms around his neck, his fingers stroking his neck.
"Oh, it is not?" Logan encouraged her flirty banter.
It was so easy between the two to get onto another bandwidth than the rest of their surroundings. It was like they were in their own little bubble for a second, and they both certainly knew how from that bubble things could advance rather rapidly. But they weren't impulsive enough to go find a place for a quickie behind the bleachers somewhere - not with a bunch of kids to watch after and groan at their attempts at affection.
"Dad! Look at me!" came a shout from Logan's youngest, pulling them out of their moment, moment before they would've kissed.
Eléa was beginning to be spun around on a ride called the Casino with her hands over her head and screaming from the thrill of it. Her friends were sitting behind her, looking just as joyous.
Logan smiled and waved, his other hand going around Rory's waist, the action feeling completely natural.
"You wanna go on the carousel with me?" Rory asked.
"If I must," Logan said. Carousels weren't really his thing, but for her sake, he was willing to amuse her.
"I've always wanted a white one," Rory said, pulling him along by his hand, seeing from afar how the Carousel was beginning to fill up.
"A white what?" Logan asked, not quite following.
For a good long minute there was no response, Rory being too busy to get them past the ticket guy and on to the carousel.
It was as they finally reached a jumper horse figure, when Rory finally replied.
"A white pony," Rory said, referring to the horse. But the one she'd been left with was a black one.
Logan was left with a lion figure, right beside her, not that he really cared about getting on in the first place.
Logan chuckled.
"What did you think I meant?" Rory asked loudly, but climbed onto the horse regardless.
Logan glanced around, seeing there was only one white horse, the most being bay or dun shaded ones.
"Just hold on," Logan said.
"Logan, wait!" Rory called out over the music, but Logan didn't pay attention to her.
Rory watched as Logan talked to two women in their 20s, flashing his best smile at them, for a few moments. Already seconds later he invited Rory over as the girls made their way back to their former rides.
"You really didn't have to do that," Rory chimed, having to speak loudly, as she reached him.
"I want you to have everything that you want," Logan said smugly, choosing to forgo the carriage ride that was left vacant and slip his hand around Rory as she took her seat on the white horse with pink bows.
"You'll spoil me," Rory said.
"Maybe that's what I want," Logan hummed.
"Seriously, Logan… if you keep this up, I might not want to go back to Hartford in a few weeks," Rory said, the statement coming as a clash of reality.
Logan went quiet on that, knowing far too well that he wouldn't want it too. But since the kids were pretty settled in Freeport by now, Logan having won over Eléa on the school front, and at the very least convinced Theo to give the school a try before they went the homeschooling or boarding school route. It wouldn't hurt to try - they'd all agreed.
While money was not the issue about moving, there were few places Logan actually wanted to live in the US. Mostly because of the people he knew in various locations, it was the contrast of what they'd had that he was after. He wanted his kids safe, and here he did feel safe. There was no point getting some other place when he really had no better plan either - besides, it was just a few years until Theo would be off to college too. Coming from London, the vastness of American houses had long lost its appeal to him, and the house here was just enough for them and for his sister to visit. He didn't want to house nannies anymore, or have a whole army of staff to look after the place. In this place, the help he needed was minimal.
"Well," Logan inhaled and then said, "I don't want you to leave either."
For a second Rory was stunned, and that even whilst she hadn't been oblivious to the possibility that they had been long thinking that as it was. Neither had just ever expected them to actually get to this point - the admitting. Some things were better left unspoken… as they knew how these things rarely meant anything good. Asking anyone to change their life around for them was risky business. They'd both been involved in similar dynamics before. Things like that rarely worked out well.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that," Logan said but quickly corrected - "I mean, of course, I don't want you to go… but I know your job means a lot to you and you have your home in Hartford. It just wasn't fair for me to spring that on you," Logan admitted, as the merry-go-round kept going round and round.
Rory pulled his chin closer and kissed him for saying that.
"We haven't really talked about things, have we? And I mean, this is hardly the place I imagined us having this talk," Rory said, remaining close so they wouldn't have to yell.
"Yeah, me neither," Logan replied.
"I've thought about it, you know," Rory began, taking a deep breath.
Logan urged her to continue by giving her his attention.
"About living here. This summer… it's been incredible. But I'm not really an outdoorsy person, I hate the cold… and I cannot possibly expect this honeymoon phase to just continue through the dark winter nights, you know. I have to be realistic. And I mean, what kind of teacher would I be if I just bailed on my students and colleagues two weeks before school starts!" Rory blabbered, going on to explain how the whole thing would be such a crazy and unlike her things to do.
To Logan, this showed more clearly than any direct statement, that she had indeed thought about it. A lot. And that was deeply flattering, but in a way, he was glad she wasn't jumping at the thought. He wasn't sure if he could live with another woman turning their life around for him like this - especially giving up on her career, though with good likelihood the schools in Maine would also offer some possibilities for Rory, especially long-term.
"Would it be so horrible if we at least tried long distance?" Rory asked.
"No, it wouldn't be horrible," Logan said, calmly. "But I will hate it, I will miss you ridiculously," Logan added, squeezing her ribs with the arm he had over her, wanting to feel her close. Even he was getting emotional, saying that.
"And I will come over here as often as I can. One good thing about being a teacher is the holidays, after all, right?" Rory said, feeling emotional as well, but trying to sound chipper.
"I will, too. If you'll have me, that is," Logan said, teasing her on account to never actually having heard an invite to visit her in Hartford. But mostly he just assumed her place to be simple, and her to take it for granted that on occasion he would visit nor did she need to invite her but expect him to show up regardless of an invite. And she was right to assume that.
"Will I ever?" Rory chuckled, kissing him again.
The ride didn't last much longer, the two having lost track of time with the seriousness of their conversation.
Another thing that had been on Rory's mind a lot these past few weeks was Logan's own career choices. He didn't seem like the guy who would enjoy sitting idly by, and even during the summer he'd found a full-time job in his family, and Rory too, naturally. Cooking, shopping, fine dining, boating, entertaining and so forth. There was even a certain seriousness he took their dates with, always being prepared with surprises and ideas. He read the books both on his and Rory's bookshelves and engaged in the activities his kids enjoyed. But to Rory the question was - how long could that last?
"While we're on serious matters… do you mind if I ask you something?" Rory inquired, moments after stepping off the carousel.
"Of course," Logan encouraged, not expecting anything too serious.
"From what I know of you, and from what I've heard… I was just wondering whether you've figured out what you're going to do. I mean, sure - I get that you're putting your family first and I love seeing that. But I just can't really picture someone like you just not get bored around here long term. I guess, what I am asking is…," Rory gathered herself with a deep inhale.
"Just ask it, Rory…," Logan assured.
"You wouldn't be thinking about just going off to the UK again. I know you do have a whole business there that you've helped to build. That's got to be rough to just leave that behind. Or just your former lifestyle… I mean just the good of it. Having friends and going out… I just don't think you realize how lonely this place gets in the winter time," Rory said.
"Perfect time to give you a visit in Hartford about then?" Logan chuckled.
"Be serious, Logan," Rory urged.
"No, I'm not going back to London. Maybe for a visit, one day… probably," Logan replied.
"Just, I am not sure I could take that kind of long distance," Rory explained.
"I'll not be moving back to London," Logan promised.
"Okay," Rory sighed. It was not everything she'd asked, but it was a major thing off her list.
"And as for friends, I guess I'll just try to go see my other friends more once school starts for the kids," Logan explained, having not forgotten about her other concerns. He also sensed that she must've been worried about him going off finding new friends, having not really needed to do that with the kids and Rory so close.
Rory knew his background, which wasn't too amicable, and he didn't blame her for having some concerns. He'd been to the pubs around here, many of them were pretty casual, and pretty much the most common places to go if one was looking to hook up. While they had trust on many levels, they really hadn't been together long enough to know what one might do once left to their own devices for extended periods of time. Trust took more than love; trust also took experience.
"If you want to hear me say it then I can say it," Logan offered.
"Uh?" Rory responded, suddenly not following his train of thought in its entirety.
"I consider us exclusive. Long distance doesn't equal casualness to me… I hope you feel the same. I don't want anyone else, Rory," Logan said, melting Rory's heart into a puddle.
It was even better to hear it without having to ask for it directly. It was a huge relief that he'd realized it was what she'd needed to know.
"You're going to make me cry," Rory chimed, after kissing him feverishly, her eyes already all reddened, picturing the pain of actually leaving him. She honestly didn't know how she was going to do it.