** (Author's Note:) I know, I know, I just posted chapter two. BUT I actually managed to finish this chapter today while my family slept off their turkey bellies. I decided to go ahead and post it since the last chapter felt so lackluster to me. **

(Bella)

I was being foolish. I knew I was being foolish, but I was still determined. My hands shook violently as I grabbed each item and packed it away neatly into my backpack, my brand new compass, a notebook and pen in case I needed to make notes, my sketchpad and pencils, a map, granola bars, water bottle; things I figured I would need on my intended trek. I tried to settle my nerves with sheer determination, but to no luck. It had been about a week since I had made my resolve, and had begun the necessary preparations, the first being a shopping trip to Newton's Olympic Outfitters. I hadn't wanted to give them patronage after the incident over my shift during my birthday, but if I was going to realistically make the hike I needed supplies and so I hung my head and made the trip as fast and painless as possible. It hadn't gone as bad as I had imagined, mostly people shied away from me. Mike was the only one brave enough to strike up a conversation, and it was easy enough to dodge his inquisitiveness. I blushed crimson from the memory. I needed to apologize to the Newton's, the situation was upsetting but I had to admit that I overreacted. I gently shook my head and continued my preparations. It was Saturday, and Charlie had made plans to go fishing with his friends today, for the first time since… well, since. He had been reluctant to go, especially after he learned of my intentions to go hiking, so I lied and told him I had planned the hike with a group of friends. The guilt ate me alive, but I couldn't let him stop me. I needed to do this. I couldn't quite explain it myself, but I felt that if I could go face my demons in the meadow, that damn meadow, then maybe… maybe things could be different. It was stupid, it made no sense. What point was there in giving myself closure when I'm going to be basically dead, or worse, in a matter of a year or two? It didn't make sense, it was utterly illogical. And yet I felt compelled.

I finished packing my necessities and then began tying up the new hiking boots I had purchased. Once I made it to the meadow, and faced whatever internal demon I was insistent on facing, I planned to pay Jacob an unexpected visit, and demand to know exactly what his problem was. We were supposed to be best friends. We were Bella and Jacob. He couldn't be avoiding me over what happened between us the night at the movies. I knew it hurt him, it had hurt me, but I knew Jacob well enough to know that he would never treat me this way, not over that. We had come too far for that. And Billy's involvement? No, it wasn't adding up. Jacob had expressed concern, frustration, even fear over Sam Uley and his weird cult. They had to be connected somehow. It didn't matter what happened between us, I would never turn my back on Jacob, and if I had to drag his sorry ass home with me I would.

But first, the meadow.

I checked the time on my cell phone, it was barely past seven o'clock in the morning. I remembered the way to the area of the forest I needed to go, I had mentally logged every twist and turn he and I had made on our first 'date'. I had been naive back then and thought I would need the information, thinking that I would be able to make a run for it at one point. I had then been given a demonstration of exactly why that was foolish. Another shake of my head as I gathered my keys and my jacket. I needed to focus.

I knew the way I needed to drive, but I was a little bit more unclear on the actual hike. I had a basic idea from the few visits I had been forced to make, the first mostly because he had allowed me to actually walk it myself rather than force me to ride his back like the few times that followed, but I was still at a high risk of getting lost. I have never been an outdoors woman, and it didn't help that I naturally struggle to walk a straight line anyway. If I actually made it there and back, it would be a miracle.

I threw my backpack and jacket in the passenger side and climbed into my truck cab then started the engine. The weather had warmed quite a bit, for Forks, Washington anyway, so I didn't have to spend too much time warming up my decrepit engine. After a few moments of deep, cleansing breaths, I began the journey.

The drive was oddly serene, perhaps I had made peace with my foolish impulse. Or perhaps I was just that resolved. I had no trouble finding the familiar path that had preceded the hike we'd made into the dense evergreens. Once I parked my chevy and locked the doors, I slung my backpack over my shoulders and began to head into the dense woodland.

It was a rare sunny day with a slight chill in the breeze, which didn't matter too much once I'd ventured in deep enough to be hidden by the dense trees. For a good deal of the hike I was surrounded by darkness with only a hint of sunlight falling through the lush leaves. For a time I had begun to worry that I had taken a wrong turn somewhere, that I might have gotten lost, but with sheer determination I continued forward and it paid off, right before noon I had stumbled upon an opening with blinding sunlight right ahead of me. Relieved to be out of the dark, and hopeful that I had been right in my remembrance, I hurried towards the light, stumbling over the brush on my way.

I stepped through and found myself in the familiar clearing. The glade was encircled all around by dense forest, the ground was covered with beautiful violet wildflowers that scented the wind. The sunlight was warm and welcome. It was a beautiful, breathtaking place. And yet I felt unsettled, panicked. Memories flooded my brain, drowning me. I nearly fell to my knees as I was overtaken by panic. I locked them in place, and remembered some of the coping skills I had learned during my very few visits with a therapist, the only ones I'd made. Deep breaths, I started by establishing my five senses. I could feel the gentle, cool breeze on my skin. I could smell the sweet floral fragrance around me. I could even slightly taste that sweet floral scent on the wind's breath. I focused on the sight of the deep purple hue of the flowers at my feet. I strained my ears and listened to the gentle chirping of the small birds hidden in the treetops nearby. I recognized the call of a blue jay. Breath, Bella, breath.

"You seem a bit… stressed out, Bella."

I froze in place, the familiar bell-like voice went straight through me. I slowly raised my head, meeting their gaze. Across from me, at the other end of the meadow was the second to last person I ever wanted to see again.

It was Alice Cullen.

I gulped. If she was here then… no, God, please, no! It couldn't be time yet, I- I had to have more time. At least a little! I felt like my knees would buckle. She glared at me, mildly amused. I willed my legs to hold me, and my voice to be steady. If this was how I was going to die, then I wanted to die with pride. I had no intention of being turned, whatever I had to do, I would make her angry enough to kill me first.

"Alice… it's been awhile." I wracked my brain, first I would get her talking, distract her, then…

"It has, Bella. I see you're… taste's haven't changed. You've always adored your rags…" She looked me up and down with a slight sneer, disgusted by my purple flannel and skinny jeans.

"I assume you didn't come all this way to judge my outfit." It was taking all my might to reign in my nervous stammer, but I was determined. I was going to die with dignity.

"Well, you're somewhat astute… for a human. As to the reason I'm here… well this was the only way I could get to you without interference." In seconds she was closer to me, and had begun circling me slowly as she talked. A cat playing with its dinner.

"Oh? And to what do I owe the honor?" Calm, calm. Die with dignity.

"Honor? I'm not here to honor you, Bella. I'm here to get you out of my way."

I swallowed, thinking fast, I had to piss her off, completely and fully piss her off so she would kill me instantly. I had seen first hand what a vampire with all the time in the world could do.

"I never understood what my brother saw in you, you're weak, you're ungrateful-"

"Does 'Jazz' know about the torch you carry for your 'brother'?"

An angry screech. This was it, it would all be over… I closed my eyes, not wanting to see the moment she either ripped my throat out or yanked my head off when… nothing came. Instead, I heard her cry out in… fear? I snapped my eyes open and across the meadow were a pack of giant wolves. Giant did them a disservice, they were bigger than fucking grizzly bears. My eyes bulged, so my death wasn't going to be as clean or as dignified as I had hoped. What I couldn't comprehend was how did they manage to scare a vampire so thoroughly?

Alice had turned from me and was staring incredulously at the pack of behemoth's that had found us.

"No… no! You're all supposed to be extinct! This wasn't-"

Before she would say anything else, the beasts charged forward and she took off running into the wilderness. I fell back on my ass. Most of the pack had chased after her, but a few had remained in the meadow with me. Among them one caught my eye and held my gaze. The silver wolf. I couldn't explain it, but I couldn't look away. Hypnosticed wasn't the right word, I felt… grounded, staring into this strange creature's eyes. I felt like my world had been altered, in a way I couldn't possibly comprehend. It was insane. I knew this creature was about to devour me, to rip me to shreds, but somehow, deep down, I felt like it would never hurt me.

Was I having another nervous breakdown?

Finally, the wolf snapped its head towards a howl in the distance, breaking me of my trance. The three wolves that had stayed behind took off in the direction of the others, leaving me alone amongst the flowers.

I scrambled to my feet and took off running through the dense wilderness, back the way I'd come. In my panic I didn't even take the time to evaluate the twists and turns I'd taken, I just blindly ran and by some strange, merciful twist of fate I managed to get back to my truck.

I trembled as I fought to unlock the driver's door and yank it open, climbing inside and driving off like a bat out of hell.