Edited 5/25/23: Minor Grammar/Spelling.
There is a quiz in this chapter, the end has answers for you! :) Gooood luck!
Monday, May 25, 1998
Narcissa Malfoy and Andromeda Tonks were a force to be reckoned with. When Hermione, Ginny, and Theo arrived at headquarters the women immediately pulled them into a room to discuss their Intensive Pureblood Politics Lessons. The women claimed that by the end of the week Hermione and Ginny would be able to fit in with their peers.
Theo would join them in the afternoons so that they could practise the lessons. He, unlike Hermione and Ginny, had been taking etiquette lessons since he was five. He stuck out his tongue at them when Narcissa excused him from the morning session.
That morning, Hermione and Ginny were given a test.
Communication
1. When you are introducing yourself, which name should you say?
a. Your full given name: "Jenna Marie Bolten."
b. Both your full given name and the name you like to be called by if it's different from your first name: "Jenna Marie Bolten, but everyone calls me Jen."
c. The name you want the other person to call you by and your last name: "Jen Bolten."
2. When introducing two people, you should…
a. give their names only.
b. give their names and a bit of information about each person.
c. give a bit of information about each person if that person is a family member (otherwise, in respect for each person's privacy, don't share anything more than their names).
3. During an in-person conversation, what percentage of your message is delivered through your spoken words?
a. 7 percent
b. 38 percent
c. 55 percent
4. When should you be certain to reciprocate a compliment you were just given?
a. Every time you're given one.
b. It's never required.
c. When you've been complimented on your appearance or something you're wearing.
5. You are talking with a group of four people. With whom do you make eye contact?
a. With the person to whom you are speaking at that moment.
b. Each of the four, moving your eye contact from one to another.
c. With the other three people you are not speaking at that moment.
d. No particular person.
Seating and Table Etiquette
6. From which direction should you approach your dining-table chair in order to sit down?
a. From the left of the chair.
b. From the right of the chair.
c. Either direction is correct when sitting down. When exiting the chair, you should do so from the chair's right.
7. When should you lift your menu off the table?
8. When is it appropriate to "clink" your glass?"
9. What should you do with the "discards" on your plate (ex. Lemon rind, fish bones, etc)?
10. When should bread be in the air?
11. How should napkins be placed in your lap?
a. Open faced
b. Folded with the crease away from you
with the crease toward you
12. How much food should be left on your plate at the end of a course?
Restaurant Etiquette
13. You are hosting a dinner at a restaurant. You have pre-ordered everyone and indicated where he or she should sit. Are you correct?
14. A toast has been proposed in your honour. You say "thank you" and take a sip of your drink. Are you correct?
15. You are in a restaurant and a thin soup is served in a cup with no handles. To eat it you should:
a. Pick it up and drink it.
b. Use the spoon provided, not picking up the cup at all.
c. Eat half of it with a spoon and drink the remainder.
d. Use the spoon provided, picking up the cup to finish the soup completely.
16. You are at a dinner and champagne is served with the dessert. You simply can not drink champagne yet know the host will be offering a toast. You should:
a. Tell the waiter "no champagne".
b. Turn over your glass.
c. Ask the waiter to pour water into your champagne glass instead.
d. Say nothing and allow the champagne to be poured.
17. The waiter is coming toward you to serve wine. You do not want any. You turn your glass upside down. Are you correct?
You are hosting a dinner party at a restaurant. Included are three other couples, including your most valuable client and his wife. You instruct the waiter to:
a. Serve your spouse first.
b. Serve your client's spouse first.
c. Serve you first.
d. Serve you and your spouse last.
Invitations, Gifts, and Other Miscellaneous Party Etiquette
18. When is the most gracious time to respond (RSVP) to an invitation?
a. within 24 hours of receiving the invitation
b. within one week of receiving the invitation
c. anytime before the "respond by" date listed on the invitation
19. You are invited to a reception and the invitation states "7:00 to 9:00 p.m." You should, or you may:
a, Arrive at 6:55 p.m.
b, Arrive any time between 7:00 p.m. and 8:30 p.m.
c. Arrive any time between 7:00 p.m. and 9:00 p.m.
d. Arrive around 9.00 p.m.
20. When you are the recipient of a gift (other than a wedding gift) in the mail, you should…
a. Call on the day it arrives to let the giver know, even if you're not opening it until a special day.
b. Open it right away, without waiting for the special day, so you can call and thank the giver specifically for the gift.
c. Wait until the day when you open the gift, and then call the giver. You can also follow up with a handwritten thank you note.
21. You are invited to dinner in a private home. When do you take your napkin from the table and place it on your lap?
a. Immediately when you sit down.
b. Wait for the host or hostess to take his or her napkin before taking yours.
c. Wait for the oldest person at the table to take his/hers.
d. Wait for the acknowledged head of the table to take his or hers before taking yours.
Ginny did not do well, and while Hermione did marginally better (thanks to the manners class her mum and she had attended after her first year at Hogwarts). She chuckled at how similar many of the rules were between the Muggle and Wizarding Worlds.
After they'd completed their exam, the older women began to discuss posture and facial expressions. Hermione, fortunately had a bit of leeway with this as she could chalk things up to her Caribbean heritage.
Andromeda had a very dry humour about the whole process. She would often compare the Pureblood politics to things she'd learned from Ted and his family in the Muggle world. Narcissa, who Hermione had incorrectly assumed would be cold and standoffish, was in fact warm and welcoming. She described how familial relationships worked in public versus private.
Draco was lucky to have her. Narcissa talked about how typically, once a child turned seven the parent/child interactions became much more formal.
Betrothal interactions were extremely formal once the pair left school. In general, girls, like in the Muggle World, were encouraged to "save themselves," as blood from losing one's virginity could be used in a variety of unsavoury rituals. Married couples were expected to function as a unit in public, with less touch than Hermione and Ginny were used to. Younger couples typically touched more and had more leeway.
Pregnancy was another interesting one. Once a witch was visibly pregnant, usually after the fifth month, their excursions were limited to family and very close friends. Children were precious and treasured and as squib births and other birth complications became more prevalent, more strict boundaries were put in place.
By the time Theo and Draco arrived at dinner, Hermione's head was pounding with all the new information she'd gained. The six of them had a formal dinner, with Andromeda and Narcissa correcting different actions throughout the meal.
After the full day of lessons, Hermione and Ginny collapsed onto Ginny's bed with heavy sighs.
"So…" Hermione said, looking toward her friend. "I've been waiting on tenterhooks to hear about your conversation with Harry the other day."
Ginny grimaces, "We broke up." When Hermione went to speak again, Ginny stopped her, "I expected it to happen and I'm less gutted than I feel like I'm supposed to be. I think we both liked the idea of us better than us? So much of our history is so heavy and I don't want to have to convince someone that they should want to be with me."
"That makes sense," Hermione said thoughtfully.
"It's like with Ron, and you I suppose," Ginny continued, "I think Harry still sees me as Ron's Kid Sister, he always does these things to 'protect' me, but I don't need protection. I had bloody Tom Riddle in my head when I was eleven."
"Hmm, yeah I can see what you're saying," Hermione said, rolling to look at her. "Ron still sees me as the Ugly Duckling, but I haven't felt like that since I was in 4th Year and Theo…"
"Yes, exactly!" Ginny said, grinning at her, "I think I want to spend more time exploring myself. Watching you, Theo and Draco so naturally navigate your more non-traditional relationship has really brought onto light some of my own feelings."
"What feelings?" Hermione asked.
"Do you find women attractive?" Ginny asked bluntly.
Hermione chuckled, "I mean I can look at a woman and think she's pretty, but I don't want to kiss one or date one? Theo and I talked a lot about this toward the beginning of our relationship."
"I guess I always thought that women were attractive and I just figured that everyone thought about how nice their curves looked or how soft their lips might be, but I'm realising that that isn't the case?" Ginny said, wryly.
"Oh! Yeah, no I don't, but obviously I'm married to two bisexual men so, I get it as much as a little straight girl can!"
Ginny chuckled, "Huh, maybe this Nott blood is just bisexual blood?"
Hermione laughed, "You and I both know that's not how it works!"
"I guess I'd like to explore women a bit?" Ginny said, testing the waters.
"I love that idea!" Hermione said, sitting up. "It's not the best time to branch out but what does 'the best time' even mean? What can I do to support?"
"I don't think anything, I think I'm going to talk to Draco about this, it feels weird asking Theo because he's my brother, but I know Draco had a bit of a reputation before you all got togetherr."
"That's a good idea, he'd probably like to help you scope out girls and would probably have a better idea of the field than Theo or I! Are you sure you're okay about Harry? It feels like a big change after finding out about your Mum and Dad."
"Dad will always be my dad, even if I don't have any Weasley blood. Do you think any of my other brothers aren't…?"
"I mean I don't want to speculate, but Percy and Ron have always been quite different… what do you think?" Hermione asked, leaning back and staring at the ceiling.
Ginny giggled, "Imagine Ron's face if he isn't! Percy wouldn't handle it well either, the three of us got lots of Mum's temper. The other boys have a lot more of Dad's calm demeanour."
"Maybe ask your dad about it next time you talk to him?" Hermione asked, quietly.
"I think I will…"
Quiz Answers
(C) Introductions happen quickly, and it's often hard to catch the other person's name. For that reason, stick with the form of your first or middle name you'd like the other person to use. As far as your last name, always include it in a business setting. In social settings, do so as long as safety isn't an issue. To shine in every first impression
(B) If you know one or both of the persons you're introducing, it's gracious to share a bit of information about them. That way, when you step away, you've set them up with some conversational openers, and they'll appreciate it!
(A) This statistic always amazes me, yet it's true. The message we deliver in an in-person conversation is only 7 percent based on the words we say. Most of our message is received by the other person through the tone of our voice (angry, happy, sad, disappointed…) and our body language. And that's not just for people we don't know well; it includes our best friends, spouses, and other family members. A whopping 55 percent of our message is delivered by how we look. Since others can see us approaching from across the room, a lot of what we communicate is "said" by our appearance before we ever have the chance to say our first word. Dressing for success might seem old-fashioned, but it will always matter because people take in more visually than by any other method. If you ever wonder what to wear
(B) Compliments are verbal gifts. Each day you receive one is like your birthday. You can receive presents (compliments) without giving them in return. In fact, doing so allows others to flex their kindness muscles. Accept the compliment with a happy "Thank you!" or "That's nice of you to say!" or "You just made my day!" If you don't happen to agree with a compliment, don't let the person know. Doing so is the conversational equivalent of throwing the gift back. If you were truly going to pay a compliment, but the other person beat you to it, then you may still pay that compliment, especially if you won't see each other again or in the near future.
(B) Make eye contact with all of the individuals in the group so all the persons feel they are part of the conversation.
(A) Why does it matter from which direction (left or right) you enter and exit your dining chair? It sounds kind of picky and maybe a little OCD-like at first blush. Yet as in everything with etiquette, there's a valid reason, and the reason is that it makes things easier to manage for everyone. You want to enter and exit from the left of your dining chair because when everyone does it, it keeps diners from bumping into each other, and it lets you know to move a bit to your right if the person next to you wants to exit.
Never. In formal dining, the menu should always be touching the table in one place," said Meier. So if you're looking at the menu, make sure to have the bottom, or at least one part of it, still touching the table, even if your impulse is to bring it closer to your face.
Never. Clinking for a cheers could damage the glass, especially if you're using very fine glassware. Plus, "In very formal dining, the less noise we make, the better."
The upper left part of your plate is for discards. The bottom right is for sauces and butter.
That means you should butter the bread while it is still on the plate, but do not butter the whole slice at once. Break off the piece you plan to eat, butter that piece, and then lift the piece to put in your mouth. This applies to bagels, muffins, biscuits, and other bread-like products, Meier said.
(C) Napkins are to be folded in half with the crease facing toward you. "We don't ever wipe stains, we dab stains," she said. "And then we close the napkin and so all the stains stay closed on the inside of the napkin, so you'll never again have a messy presentation for your guest."
Leave one bite left on your plate. This shows that you enjoyed the meal, but you weren't so famished you cleaned the whole plate—which could indicate that you are still hungry, or it wasn't enough food.
Yes. It will make everybody's life so much easier. Also, many times at a restaurant people feel awkward when they do not know where they are supposed to sit.
No. If you do, then you're toasting yourself. Other people toast in your honor and in that case you do not sip.
(B and/or D) Use the spoon provided. It's not a cup of coffee, for heaven's sake. And don't slurp, either.
(D) Say nothing and allow the champagne to be poured. It's more polite not to call attention to yourself and the fact that you can't drink champagne. You may lift the glass to acknowledge the toast without sipping.
No. Again, do not call attention to yourself or your dislike of your host's chosen beverage.
(B and/or D) Serve your client's spouse first and/or serve you and your spouse last. Sort of a trick question, but this is important.
(B) Arrive anytime between 7:00 p.m. and 8.30 p.m. Point of the question/answer is that it is terribly impolite to arrive early (before 7.00 p.m.) and at the same time it is impolite to arrive after 8.30 p.m. as the event lasts until 9.00 p.m
(A) It seems like responding within 24 hours doesn't give you much time, but that's the whole point of doing it so quickly. You see, receiving an invitation is an honour, even if it's to an event you'd rather not attend. Responding quickly repays the honour
(A) People worry about whether the gift they sent arrived safely. Even though it can be tracked to their door through various apps, that doesn't mean it wasn't stolen from the doorstep or set somewhere inside by another family member who then accidentally forgot about it. It's kind to call, text, or email to let the senders know that the gift arrived and to thank them for it even though you might be waiting weeks to open it (as in the case of Christmas or shower presents sent early)
(B and/or D) Wait for the host or for the acknowledged head of the table to take his or her napkin before taking yours.
Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think or if you have any thoughts about what might happen next!