Chapter 948

The Talk

Young Allison landed the plane back at the airport and they were headed for home. She thought about everything she'd been involved with the last couple of days. It was her future and it was all starting to play out now. She was ready now to assume her place. Her body needed to be able to do more than it could right now.

Now it was back home and back to dealing with everyone and everything. Her mother was ready to take 'cuts' and take her place at John's side. Based on 'moral' issues alone, John would choose her mother over her. It was all very confusing and frustrating. She understood the 'Natural Order' even if everyone else didn't.

Savannah looked at Young Allison as Cameron drove. They sat in the back and Anna was in the front. Cammy and Holly followed them. Cameron insisted they acquire a second vehicle. She thought they could offer better protection that way, at least that's what she told them.

There was a lot to think about. A lot of things happened in the last few days. It seemed like weeks but it was only two days.

Savannah didn't like the danger that the team faced and she especially didn't like Young Allison being put in harm's way. It appeared that events were winding down some but that always seemed to have a way to change real fast.

She was aware that Young Allison was willing to put her life on the line for her and the team. That wasn't the future she wanted for Young Allison. If Young Allison was willing to risk it all now, how would it be in the future? It would only be worse and even more dangerous.

Savannah reached over and brushed the hair away from the side of Young Allison's face.

Young Allison looked at her and smiled.

This wasn't what Savannah wanted for Young Allison. There needed to be a better solution. There needed to be a better choice.

Savannah wondered when the last time Young Allison ate anything was. She must be hungry. She never said a word about it if she was. Savannah didn't want Young Allison to skip meals doing Resistance activity when she didn't need to.

"I want to stop and get some food for Allison." Savannah said.

Young Allison didn't want to be a bother.

"I'm fine." Young Allison said.

Savannah heard those same words from Cameron multiple times.

"Now she sounds like you." Savannah said.

Young Allison didn't want any special consideration.

"I don't want to be a problem." Young Allison said.

Cameron looked back at Savannah.

"Now she sounds like you." Cameron said.

Young Allison tried to make light of the situation.

"That just goes to show we're all one big happy family." Young Allison said.

Anna wanted to make sure Young Allison and Savannah ate. She decided to offer a suggestion that they all seemed to like.

"We can get some ice cream." Anna said. "There are other things too."

Anna knew what the girls liked. Ice cream was something they all could try. The girls would want something more. This way they would at least be at a location where there were food choices.

Young Allison was pleased with that idea. She had one spot in mind.

"I know just the place for that." Young Allison said. "It's my favorite."

Savannah knew the exact location that Young Allison indicated. She liked it as well.

"That works for me." Savannah said. "I like the diner too. It has a pleasant and lively atmosphere."

Cameron made a turn at the next street that came up to with a signal.

"The Fifties and Sixties diner it is." Cameron said.

Cameron always liked to take Young Allison there. She thought it would help her become better acclimated to the time period she planned to take her back to on their temporal mission.

Anna knew that Claire would be worried about Young Allison. It would come back to her if there was an issue or problem related to that.

"Maybe I better call her mother first." Anna said.

That wasn't what Young Allison wanted to hear. She wanted more independence. It would allow her a quicker passage into her future that way. If she was tied to the present, she was never going to get to her future on time.

"Don't do that." Young Allison said. "I'm a big girl now."

Savannah looked over at Young Allison. She really didn't want her to grow up too fast. She knew what Young Allison wanted to do. She knew what she wanted to have. Somehow it just didn't seem right, even if it did. She really wanted to keep Young Allison's life simple. She didn't know if it was possible anymore. It seemed with the operation today that the genie was out of the bottle. She didn't want to be the one to complicate Young Allison's life.

"You're not as big as you think." Savannah said politely. "You don't need to be yet either."

Young Allison saw Savannah put the brakes on for her. She felt she needed to respect Savannah's 'advice'. She didn't want to cause a problem for Savannah or upset her. She really believed she was ready for everything. She thought she would have had more luck to have Savannah 'accommodate' her. It would probably be a bigger issue and deal with everyone else if she was with John. She really didn't think being with Savannah would be a problem for anyone. She decided to keep her answer simple for now.

"I know." Young Allison said. "You know what I want. Everyone knows what I want. It's all going to happen anyway."

Savannah felt Young Allison 'chomping at the bit'. It was clear to everyone that eventually Young Allison and her would be together as a couple. She wanted to offer advice as a true friend and future lover. She wasn't Young Allison's mother and didn't want to assume that role in Young Allison's life and upbringing. She felt the need to have a personal talk with Young Allison before they reached the diner.

"I want to speak with Allison alone for a while." Savannah said. "I'd like for you to stop at the park first."

Young Allison wondered about what she needed to hear. Maybe it was about the kiss they shared. The only trouble was, she didn't remember actually kissing Savannah. It was when they'd blacked out. Young Allison knew Savannah never did anything 'sexual' towards her. Savannah was very protective of her as was Anna and all the girls, Terminators or otherwise.

If she 'searched' on the internet too long, Anna would come around. That was the unspoken cue to tone it down. Anna never stopped her from 'searching' but she did make sure it didn't become an obsession. She'd learned very early on that as long and she searched out images and videos that only dealt with females, there was usually no interruption. It was only when she began to review images or videos that included males that her viewing session was cut short. She wasn't bothered by that so much as those images disturbed her to watch. She always felt that a male with a female looked like an 'attack' on a female's body more than a pleasure sharing session.

Cameron headed for a park that wasn't too far out of the way in proximity to the diner. She pulled up and parked. She was aware this was a 'serious' moment for Savannah and Young Allison.

"We'll wait in the SUV." Cameron said. "You'll have some privacy."

Anna wanted to make sure the girls would have their freedom to discuss whatever they wanted to without anyone looking over their shoulder.

"We won't listen." Anna said. "You know we always look the other way, anyway."

Savannah left her phone and com behind, so did Young Allison. They both knew CamNet or John Henry could listen to those devices and still channel the information to Cameron.

Savannah took Young Allison's hand as they walked a short distance away.

There were some large rocks to sit on.

Savannah asked Young Allison to face her. She still held young Allison's hand.

Young Allison wasn't sure where this was headed. She knew it wouldn't be the direction she wanted it to be.

The girls sat there for a short time in silence. They still held hands.

"I want to talk about today." Savannah said.

Young Allison wanted to 'come clean' first. She thought she was going to be chastised for wanting to kiss Savannah earlier. She felt there was a good enough reason at that time. She wanted to justify what she'd initiated.

"I wanted to kiss you before we died." Young Allison said.

Savannah smiled and laughed a little. She hadn't expected that. She was aware of what they both almost did and why.

"We blacked out before it happened." Savannah said. "I wasn't sure what our fate was going to be either. It did seem like the right thing to do at that particular point in time. We'll need to take a 'rain check' on that."

Young Allison looked disappointed.

"I don't think it would have hurt anything if we did." Young Allison said.

Savannah wanted to make sure everything was special for Young Allison when it happened.

"You'll want to remember your first real kiss." Savannah said. "You will."

Young Allison would just as soon do it now and get it over with. Once the ice was broken, everything would happen much more easily. Now she needed to wonder what else she may have done.

"Did I do something wrong?" Young Allison asked. "I didn't mean to."

Savannah wanted Young Allison to reach her own conclusions.

"That's something you'll have to determine." Savannah said.

Young Allison wasn't even sure exactly what Savannah referred to. It seemed like the most logical choice was what happened at the bottom of the mine in the Nevada desert.

"I didn't even know I set the bomb to blow up." Young Allison said. "I haven't done that yet."

Savannah was still troubled by that entire chain of events. She wasn't exactly sure Young Allison was really responsible for all of that. There were some other factors that needed to be considered as well. A lot of things happened in the last few days.

"I know that." Savannah said. "People died today."

Young Allison was aware the people died more than just today. People died yesterday as well.

"I killed them." Young Allison said. "I know."

Savannah was worried about the moral implications involved.

"How do you feel about that?" Savannah asked.

Young Allison wasn't really sure how she was supposed to answer. She thought the issue should revolve around the fact that the Resistance group was protected and it was the enemy who paid the price, not them.

"I really don't feel anything." Young Allison said. "I never saw them. If they were Grays they deserved to die. We hurt them before they hurt us and all of humanity."

Savannah was aware there was some collateral damage to the action that occurred in the desert. She felt it needed to be addressed.

"Some innocent people died of heart failure during the 'earthquake'." Savannah said.

Young Allison didn't think now was a good time to bring up the bikers that Ally faced or the men in the warehouse, they all died too. She was involved with those decisions. Those deaths were from her direct involvement. This was some of the 'collateral damage' that Savannah referred to. She didn't have any direct control over those events.

"Is that MY fault?" Young Allison asked. "I know about that already. CamNet sent me the information about that. People always die of heart failure in large earthquakes. They're usually already ill or have experienced previous heart problems. That was the case with those two individuals."

Savannah was a little surprised that Young Allison had been in contact with CamNet. She wanted to suppress as much interaction between them as possible. She didn't want that unhealthy relationship to restart.

"CamNet contacted you about this already?" Savannah asked.

Young Allison didn't want it to be an issue.

"Yes." Young Allison said. "I asked her how many people I killed. I was worried about it. I was worried that maybe I collapsed buildings in Las Vegas or any of the outlying areas. I felt how strong the 'earthquake' was that we experienced. I knew it had to cause damage in other places. I only did that to protect our group. I did that to protect Cameron. I did that to protect you, Savannah."

Savannah moved over and hugged Young Allison close.

Young Allison felt the love Savannah sent to her with that long and close hug. It was reassurance and understanding.

Savannah was very pleased with Young Allison's answers.

"Don't ever lose that worry and concern for others." Savannah said. "The protection of John and Cameron comes first. Protecting the future is second. That's our primary function. Sometimes we need to make a 'hard choice'. I have before. I've killed people before."

The only one that really bothered her was the female Gray that she needed to strangle at Avila Beach. She still saw 'those eyes' at times. She'd watched the life fade out of them as she strangled the female Gray.

"I know that, you told me." Young Allison said. "It's actually been quite a few…."

Savannah needed to protect herself and the team on those occasions. It never pleased her to kill. It was simply what needed to be done in the situation.

"It has. I'm not proud of that." Savannah said. "I needed to protect the people we need for the future. The people I love. I wouldn't hesitate to do any of it again. I've even murdered people. I've killed in cold blood."

Young Allison agreed completely. The protection of their group came first. They had a responsibility to the future to protect those who would make the future happen.

"I wanted OUR people safe today." Young Allison said. "I must have done just that. I tried to protect YOU and Cameron and all our people. We're all still here. I'd do it again to keep everyone that way."

Savannah wanted to make sure that Young Allison wouldn't have any problems going forward about what she'd needed to do. She wanted her to know there was always an ear ready to listen.

"You made the right choice." Savannah said. "If the deaths ever bother you, I want you to come to me personally. I'll come to you wherever I'm at or whatever I'm doing. I'll be there for you when you need me."

It pleased Young Allison to hear that. So far she didn't have a problem at all except for the two people who died from a heart attack.

"I've been prepared by EVERYONE for this." Young Allison said.

Savannah wanted Young Allison to know it was different to kill in person and to kill close up.

"It won't be as 'easy' when you see the person die in front of you or have their blood on your face and hands, literally." Savannah said. "I've seen the life fade from their eyes…."

It was the look from the 'dying eyes' of the female Gray Savannah strangled that still bothered her. The female Gray tried to strangle her first. It could've been her that died that day instead. It wasn't. The female Gray was dead and she was still alive.

Young Allison didn't think she would be alone when that time came. She hoped to have the support of the ones she loved the most when that happened.

"I hope you and Cameron are with me when that happens." Young Allison said. "I know it will be different."

Savannah thought back to her first time when she shot at someone who was about to ambush their group from the side. She drew first blood and killed them instead.

"Cameron was there for me and Vanna was later on." Savannah said. "I cried with Vanna."

Vanna needed to kill before and when she learned that Savannah needed to kill, she knew how she was going to feel inside. She was comforted to know they could share like that. She wanted to provide Young Allison with the same comfort and reassurance.

Young Allison still had a hard time to wrap her head around what actually happened. She really couldn't feel any remorse about the nuclear explosion inside of the mine. She hadn't actually done that yet.

"I don't need to cry." Young Allison said. "It's like it never happened. Maybe it wasn't even really me who set it up."

Savannah wasn't sure about any of it either. It all seemed so impossible yet somehow it still happened. She wanted to see what Young Allison wanted to do going forward.

"You'll know when we're in the past." Savannah said. "Is that what you still want?"

Young Allison looked at Savannah and spoke her true feelings.

"It is." Young Allison said. "I'm ready to take my place."

Savannah could see Young Allison still wanted that. She wanted to let her know it wasn't all fun and games.

"Don't be in too big of a hurry to grow up." Savannah said. "There's a lot of pain to go with any pleasure."

Young Allison wasn't sure what this conversation was going to turn into. She'd already had more than a few 'talks' with her mother and Allison.

"My mom and Allison have already gone over those 'talks' with me." Young Allison said. "I know it will hurt at first."

Savannah was a little surprised at Young Allison's response. It wasn't what she'd expected. In that regard she found out with Young Jesse about the physical pain. That passed rather quickly. It was the emotional pain that she wanted Young Allison to understand.

"I was talking about emotional pain." Savannah said. "With great love, there is always great pain."

Young Allison had witnessed plenty of emotional drama. Not only was it with her parents it was also with some of the girls. There was never any physical abuse but there was plenty of verbal abuse. Some of the things she heard bothered her greatly.

"I've seen my parents fight and Allison and Vanna argue. I know Cameron and John have experienced issues." Young Allison said. "I've seen the Metal girls be 'rude' to each other at times. I know how everything works."

Savannah knew there was a big difference between watching things happen with other people and when it happened to her. She never went through too many personal arguments or episodes with the others in the Resistance. She did know the emotional trauma from losing her parents and Mrs. Weaver.

"It's different when it happens to you. I don't know what the future will bring for sure." Savannah said. "We may be together or not. We may have arguments and fight with each other. I don't know. Always remember at the end of the day there are people who still love you. I'll still love you."

Young Allison felt both love and friendship for Savannah. They were feelings that went back as far as she could remember. She wasn't really sure when the feelings of friendship turned into love but at some point they did. It made it seem like the love was always there.

"I love you, Savannah." Young Allison said. "You've been in my life since I can first remember. You've always been there."

Savannah still remembered the feeling that flooded her the first time she laid eyes on Young Allison. Maybe that was because she knew what the future held for them. She really couldn't say. She just knew what she felt and that feeling only ever grew since then.

"I love you, Allison." Savannah said. "I always have since I first saw you."

Young Allison looked at Savannah with her big brown puppy dog eyes. She spoke the true feelings that existed within her heart.

"I want what every 'Savannah and Allison' have." Young Allison said. "I want that too. We don't need to wait for anything or anyone. We can have that now we can share with each other like we're going to do."

Savannah wanted that very much. She wanted Young Allison to be able to choose what path and direction she wanted to follow. She wanted her to make that decision on her own.

"You'll always have a choice." Savannah said. "I'll never allow anyone to make decisions for you or pick your lovers."

Young Allison was aware her body would still go through many natural changes.

"When my hormones kick in, what will happen?" Young Allison asked.

Savannah remembered her extreme frustration about being alone.

"That's up to you." Savannah said. "I was very lonely and isolated when I went through those changes."

Young Allison was curious as to what Savannah did to cope with everything.

"What did you do?" Young Allison asked.

Savannah had become very frustrated. There were some days when she would 'finish' twenty times in a single day. She didn't want to mention that to Young Allison because she didn't want her to do the same thing. It actually only made her frustration worse. She didn't need herself, she needed someone else to touch her in return.

"I asked Cameron for 'help'." Savannah said. "I told her I NEEDED someone to love and love me back."

Young Allison wondered exactly how that worked.

"Is that when Cammy was created?" Young Allison asked.

Savannah didn't feel guilty about how her love life started. She wouldn't give up that experience for anything.

"I was with Jesse – Young Jesse first." Savannah said. "We fell in love and things 'happened'."

Young Allison looked at Savannah for a long moment. She felt there was more to the story.

"What are you really telling me?" Young Allison asked. "I feel like I'm missing something."

Savannah wanted Young Allison to know there was someone she could always speak with.

"Talk to Cameron if you feel lonely and unloved." Savannah said. "She'll be able to assist you."

Young Allison wanted Savannah to be the one to do that.

"Can I 'talk' to you?" Young Allison asked.

Savannah didn't want to hold Young Allison back when she was ready to move forward.

"Yes. But I may be in the present when you're still in the past and need someone." Savannah said. "I understand and it's OK. Loneliness and emptiness is a killer."

Young Allison tried to put all the pieces together.

"Is that what Anna is for?" Young Allison asked. "Is she your 'stand-in'?"

Savannah felt that human love would be needed first. That was what Cameron provided to her.

"No. Not initially anyway." Savannah said. "Cameron will want you to love real people too, other humans, not just machines."

Young Allison wanted Savannah to be her first.

"I'll wait for you." Young Allison said. "I promise, Savannah."

Savannah didn't want to hold Young Allison to that obligation. She didn't feel it was fair to Young Allison going forward.

"Don't make that promise yet." Savannah said. "I know things can happen. They can happen fast too."

Young Allison didn't care. She made the promise to herself.

"It's my choice." Young Allison said.

Savannah wanted to try to make some things clear.

"Both of my parents were 'gone'." Savannah said. "Everyone tried to help me growing up. Vanna and Allison were always there for me. Sarah and John looked after me, they all did. Be thankful you still have both of your parents. You don't know what it's like without them. I hope you never do."

Young Allison felt guilty about her earlier irritation regarding a call to her mother.

"Maybe I should call my mom when we get back to the SUV." Young Allison said. "I'll call my dad later on too."

Savannah wanted Young Allison to know that parents cared about their children.

"Parents love their children dearly." Savannah said. "They NEED to be the parent. Maybe sometimes it doesn't feel like it but they do love you and care about you."

Young Allison felt very sad for Savannah and everything that she needed to go through.

"Savannah, I'm deeply sorry for the loss of your parents and your sacrifice." Young Allison said. "I really don't know how to address it."

Savannah felt a strong desire to protect Young Allison from everything that the world could throw at her. She'd gone through some trauma but she was still on her feet and still in the fight.

"Life goes on." Savannah said. "I'll never allow you to be hurt as I have been. It's MY function to make sure no man, woman or machine ever treats you unjustly."

Young Allison gave Savannah a very big and tight hug.

"Thank you, Savannah." Young Allison said.

Savannah looked at Young Allison with true conviction in her heart and eyes.

"I SWEAR IT." Savannah said.

Then Why Am I Talking To You

People will pretend to listen
But they seldom hear
Not because they can't
They would prefer we disappear

Unless it's about them
What they want to promote
They could really care less
If they sink our leaking boat

Our feelings matter to us
It's what we are trying to convey
If it's not what THEY want to hear
There's soon a messy affray

Stab a heart to make it bleed
Find another as a substitute
Reject everything about us
Discount our every attribute

Our emotions and feelings have merit
We have a right to exist and express too
If you really don't want to hear me
Then why am I talking to you

Nobody