Exhaustion. Anger. Hurt. Frustration. Those were just some of the things that Azura was feeling right now. She had managed to cry herself to sleep after a few hours. However, she didn't sleep well. Her dreams were plagued with fears of people mocking her for having Optimus as her father, that Optimus would abandon her, that she would lose control of her abilities and so on. Azura was a complete and utter mess.
She didn't even want to get out of bed. The only reason she did was to use the bathroom. She didn't want to eat or see anyone. There was only a small part of her wishing to be picked up and held, while the rest of her just wanted to be left alone. Azura needed the time and space to think, and to even recover from the lack of sleep she now had because of it.
She did not know if her reaction earlier that morning was an overreaction, but it didn't matter. She was already seeking comfort because of her pain and frustration, and overhearing the autobots admit that Optimus is her father only made it worse. She knew a part of her should be happy, but she was not. Not right now.
Azura was not angry anymore about how she was found. She was likely found after the pod had opened, and she was just lucky that she was found when she was. She knew that she was sent to Earth for protection. But that still did not stop thoughts of what ifs to fill her mind. And she didn't even know why she could eat human food and even look like a human with most human functions. She knew that would be explained eventually.
At least this all explained why I haven't had a normal puberty. Especially if I am considered an infant by Cybertronian years.
Azura now understood why she sometimes felt younger than she should be. It was because she was Cybertronian, not human. But she's lived for fourteen years on this planet believing she was human. It was only normal for her to wish she was human. Even though when Optimus told the story about the origin of the Cybertronian crystal and she had hoped that they could have been father and child, she did hope they weren't. It would be less complicated if they weren't and she would gladly help him find his real sparkling.
She wished Primus told her too. She actually would have found it easier to wait until Optimus told her if she knew. She would not have been frustrated and angry if she had known beforehand. But he believed it wasn't his place to tell, and maybe he was right, she just felt like she's been cheated out knowing who her father is.
Azura was hugging her pillow right now after she had forced herself to feed and check her fish. She almost was tempted to just sit and stare at the fish, mostly because she was a little envious of them. While the fish were confined to a small space, they did not have to worry about where they came from. They only had to worry about eating, helping to eat algae in the tank, swim and chase each other and that was it. There wasn't much else they had to worry about.
They're lucky they have a far simpler life than I do.
Azura jumped and covered her face when she heard a knock. She wanted to shoot at whoever it was to go away, but kept quiet for the moment. "It's just me, Azura." It was Cliff. "I just want to check in on ya." She did not move a muscle as she laid in her bed. "I know ya hurt and upset, but it's past noon…" It was that late already?! "And you have not come out for food. So Arcee made up some tomato soup…or whatever this is, and she figured you would prefer that to anything solid."
Azura knew that Cliff was here to talk to her too. As much as she wanted to ignore him, he stomach growled at her. The soup sounded good. She forced herself to get up from the bed and stumbled over to the door controls to unlock and open it. She looked up as she saw Cliff standing with the bowl in his hand.
Cliff was mess with a sad sight. Azura's beautiful, golden hair is a complete mess. Her eyes were red and puffy while her cheeks were clearly stained with tears. She seemed paler and it was obvious she has not gotten much sleep at all. He was glad she opened the door though as he stepped into the room and closed it behind him, while also locking the door.
She frowned in confusion. "Why did you lock the door?" She asked in a week, dry tone. She coughed to clear her throat. "You aren't planning to stay here all day and all night, are you?"
Cliff chuckled softly as he placed the bowl onto the table. "Nah. I'm just making sure no one walks in unannounced. They will have to walk straight into the door otherwise." Azura just nodded as she walked over to the table, sat down and picked up the spoon that was sitting in the bowl, and watched the soup drip off the end. "So…I'd ask how you are feeling, but I think I already know."
"I hope you're not going to try and convince me to spend time with Optimus," She responded bluntly, scooping up some of the soup and placing it in her mouth. "Because I am not sure about anything at the moment."
"Honestly, I don't think that is something I should say, Azura. You won't hear that from me. I know you are hurting and I don't want to push ya." Azura was very relieved to hear that. She did not want anyone to force her to have a relationship with him. "I do want to apologize, but not for Optimus." She looked up at him in surprise. "I want you to know that I wanted to tell ya as soon as I heard that you were his daughter. But I was told not to, and I have to listen to what Optimus says most of the time." Azura looked down at the bowl to keep eating while he spoke to her. "Honestly…I should have just told you. I know that would have been against Optimus, but you are the one who should have known before I did."
"I'm not angry at you, Cliff. You did nothing wrong. Besides…he should have told me sooner and it was his job to tell me." She slurped up another mouthful of soup. "Apologizing to me for something you didn't do seems foolish to me anyway."
Cliff smiled at her. "I am glad to hear that. I know this is going to be harder for you for a while. I am not sure how much you heard, but I guess it was enough." She nodded silently. "And there's no point asking how much you heard either. Anyway…feel free to tell me what's on your mind, Azura. Maybe a long drive with the windows down is a good idea." She just kept eating the soup silently. "Eh, I guess not." He turned his head to look at the fish tank and looked back at her. "Hmm, what about getting another…"
"Cliff." She turned her head and looked at him with a frown. "Stop talking. Please. I want silence. That is all I want. I know you mean well, but I want silence. Just…stay quiet until I finish this soup and you can go."
Cliffjumper softened his gaze as she refocused on the soup. She was eating it quickly and he could tell she was only doing it so he could leave sooner. "Alright…let me know if you want more soup." She shakes her head and he decided to leave it at that.
Azura did not say anything further to Cliff. She was still thinking deeply about everything at the moment and she needed the time to be able to process everything. She finished the soup rather quickly and hands the bowl to Cliff, letting him know she was done. He opened his mouth to say something and she covered her ears with her hands to show she was not interested in anything else he had to say. She knew that was probably rude to do, but she wanted to get it across that she did not want to talk to anyone.
Cliff left her room shortly afterwards. She locked the door when he left and she just crawled back into bed, hugging her pillow and crying into it. She felt so much raw emotions, it felt like she was a four-year-old again, crying herself to sleep because she did not understand why someone abandoned her. And she did not understand why someone would not want to adopt her. That was the similar raw emotions she was feeling, and she just had to let it all out.
She was also crying out of guilt for sending Cliff away. He was the only one who actually seemed like he understood where Azura was coming from, and she pushed him away. She would likely want to spend time with him again later, she just needed the additional time alone. And it was something she hoped that he would understand. This weekend was not turning out how she had wanted. She was going to play video games with Bee, have Ratchet assist her with something on her homework if he could and go out for a drive with Cliff and Bulkhead. Those were her plans, and now she had nothing but tears.
She cried for another hour before she fell asleep again, but she woke up after two hours because she was still having bad dreams and she was really uncomfortable now. She was still exhausted, angry, frustrated and upset, and she just wished it would go away. Primus was not in her dreams, and she hoped to speak with him again soon. Though it seemed that won't happen until she could have a calmer sleep, at least she hoped for that.
She saw it was five in the afternoon and she went to take a shower, knowing that it would likely make her feel better. She also wanted to change out of her current clothes. She got undressed and sat in the shower for at least two hours. She did wash her hair and scrub her body, but she mostly just say there thinking over these things. She found herself forgiving the autobots a lot easier than she thought. Though she has not forgiven Optimus yet for not telling her sooner.
But she was now scared of the implications that could come with the fact she is his daughter. The decepticons tried taking her when she was fleeing from them in the forest after they attacked the bus. She could not help but feel terrified now that she could end up in their clutches, and the terrible things that they could do to her. She did not want to image it, even though she could use the elements to help her out of the situation. But there was the risk of them finding that out about her as well. She suddenly felt like she could not be here anymore. She was terrified.
And yet, she did not know where she could go. She couldn't leave without them knowing. They weren't silly. The autobots likely knew how to find her. And she guessed the crystal could be tracked. It probably has some kind of power or energy that can be detected. That idea also frightened her because the decepticons could potentially find her that way. And then they could learn about the location of the autobot base. She did not want to be responsible for that, even if she felt the need to flee from this place. She wasn't about to unintentionally betray their location to the cons.
She left the shower and got into a pink nightie, deciding she wanted to wear something light. While she was brushing her hair, she heard another knock on the door and she looked at it with a frown. "Hey, Azura. I was thinking that you and I could play a game. I figured you might need something to let out some of that anger, and I have game you might enjoy."
Azura smiled as she heard Bee's voice and she walked over to the door to unlock it. When it opened, she was surprised to see Cliff with him too, and another bowl of soup. "I see you both have decided to come and check on me."
"Yep, we don't want ya to be alone all day and all night," Cliff said enthusiastically as he and Bee walk into the room. "You're looking a lot more refreshed than you had before, Azura. I hope that is a good sign. Plus, I am sure you would like something to eat again."
Azura watched as Cliff placed the bowl onto the table and she noticed he had a larger pot with him and a basket of bread. "Just soup?"
Cliff smiled at her. "You only had one bowl today, Azura. And I would like to believe one was enough, but I don't think it is the case is it?" She shrugged and walked over to the table while Cliff closed and locked the door. "Fowler gave this gave to us to try. Mario Kart or something…"
Azura looked at him in surprise. "Mario Kart? I have heard of that…it's actually rage inducing. You two can play and I'll watch. I don't really feel like playing any kind of game anyway. I'm happy to watch and laugh at you both."
"Oh, I see…" Cliff smirked and looked at Bee as he was setting up the game. "Looks like it's just you and me tonight, Bee. Lets give our friend a good time while we play."
"Maybe you'll play after you eat," Bumblebee said hopefully, turning on the TV and sitting down as he and Cliff held a controller each. They both could transform their hands to hold the controllers properly. "So…what do you plan on doing tomorrow, Azura?" She looked at him in surprise, though the bot did not have to look at her to guess the expression she had. "Do you have any schoolwork you need to do? Maybe I can help you."
"Well…" She sat at the table and picked up the spoon to begin eating. "I was going to ask Ratchet to help me with that. Though I am not sure he can, since it is human education…not Cybertronian…" Azura even wondered if she would get taught Cybertronian. "Would I end up learning it?"
"Eventually, but technically, you're not old enough yet for our kind of school," Cliffjumper said with a smile. "You're lucky that you can have some kind of school before the intensity of our school. What humans go through is minimal compared to what we go through."
"Speak for yourself. I remember going through it during the war, and it was a pain in the tail pipe!" Bee selected his character, going with Mario for his character and picked the sneaker for his vehicle, while Cliff went with Donkey Kong and the P-Wing for his vehicle. "What course should we do?"
"Uh, I don't care." Cliff looked over at Azura as she was facing the TV as she ate her soup. "Listen, Azura, we are still quite willing to go about our days as normal." She frowns as she listened and focused on the soup while grabbing one of the bread rolls to dip pieces into the soup. "I know you may not want to, but I think we should try. It will make the days a bit easier. You'll still have time to yourself and we will respect that…"
"Cliff, I would rather just sort of work things out," Azura interrupts gently with a little sniffle. "I am going through all sorts of emotions right now, and I need a lot of time. I know getting back into routine for school would be fine…but even than, I still feel like I just…need a lot of alone time. You may have lost your world Cliff, but I…I lost everything too."
Cliff looked at her sympathetically before looking at the game to see the map was Rainbow Road. "This map does not look too bad. At least we can just target the other racers."
"We won't know until it starts." Bee watched the screen as there was a countdown before the race started. "Awesome start! I hope you like eating tar, Cliff."
"Oh, ho, a challenge already…" Cliff widened his eyes when one of the NPC's drive through the marked boxes and threw a green shell back at him. "What the…that little…"
Bumblebee chuckled as he realized the reason why Azura said she heard this game was rage inducing. Cliff was immediately focused on the game, and Azura watched in amusement as the bot race each other, and watched as they throw shells, bananas and other things that became available to them. Cliff and Bee quickly found reasons to get mad, and Azura found herself giggling to the antics. Especially when the blue shells were thrown.
The longer they played, the louder and more frustrated they became. Azura ended up eating the entire soup pot too, she was really hungry since she had nothing for breakfast, and she only had one bowl of soup the entire day. She did not eat all the bread though, only some of it. She didn't want to eat a heap of it. She entered up just sitting on the couch and laughing at the two bots as they continue to play against each other.
However, she soon felt sad again. The amusement wore off rather quickly and she simply was staring at the screen. While she knew she should be laughing at their misfortunes in the game, but she stopped caring. She knew it might seem silly, but she really stopped caring about it. She wanted to spend time with them, but that might be for another day…maybe.
She got up from the chair and walked over to the door, looking at the bots before she slipped out of the room. It seemed they were too focused on their game to even notice she slipped out. She decided she needed to get some fresh air. And the only place she could get it was at the very top of the silo. She just had to get to the elevator without anyone seeing her. She knew Ratchet would most likely be in the lobby, so she had to keep that in mind.
However, to her surprise, the lobby was empty. It was extremely quiet. Azura thought it was strange, but she took the opportunity and ran over to the stairs to run up them. She gasped when she tripped on the top stairs and scraped her knee. She grimaced and looked down to see the blood seeping from the scrape and scrambled to her feet, running over to the elevator to press the button. She waited for it to come down, she tensed when she heard heavy footsteps slowly approaching the lobby.
She danced on her feet impatiently until the doors finally open. As she stepped inside, she turned and saw Optimus entering the lobby and looked over in surprise. "Azura?" She ignored him, pressing the button and the door closed. "Azura!"
She tensed hearing his worried shout and relaxed a little as the elevator took her up. She ignored the sting in her knee as she waited and looked down. She took notice that her blood did seem different to human blood. She never once thought about it before. But she saw that her blood had a purple shade to it, it was not just red. She guessed this was energon, not blood. She sniffled a little as more tears fell and she let out a sob.
When the doors open and she stepped outside, she looked around as it was already evening. The stars were shining in the sky, the full moon was looking down on her and she just looked around at the desert in front of her. She sat down on a nearby boulder and simply sat there to think. The fresh air was lovely to her, and yet, she wondered if Cybertronians needed oxygen to live. She did not know if she could survive in space or in a place where there was no oxygen. There was so many questions she had in her head right now.
And why do I keep dreaming that I can turn into a dragon?! That makes no sense!
Azura let the tears fall as she sat there, staring at the world in front of her. Life just felt different now. She wanted to believe that she could have a good life, but she was scared that it would be full of war. The autobots and decepticons were still fighting, and the decepticons were likely looking for her. She did not want to be in a war. Optimus tried to protect her by sending her away from Cybertron…that was admirable. She was not angry at him for that at all.
I just wish you all found me sooner…we could have been happy. I could have been safe and happy…but you waited, and you even waited longer when you knew. I wish you all told me sooner.
Azura clenched her eyes shut and concentrated. Focusing on the wind and humidity she could feel around her. She needed the world the be like how she was feeling right now. And she soon heard the roll of thunder above and opened her eyes with a slight smile, knowing she had formed the cloud above her. The air temperature dropped and she felt the icy water droplets on her skin before it began to pour gently. She did not care that she was drenched. She knew she would have to go for another shower, but this felt nice. The rain felt right.
She cupped her hand and caught some of the rain and drank it, smiling as the pure, fresh taste of water touched her tongue. It was pleasant. She did not care that she felt a little cold from the rain, but Nevada wasn't exactly cold compared to Wyoming. She breathed in the lovely scent of the rain and sat there on the boulder for a while. She felt much better now that she was able to get fresh air and to literally cool down. But after an hour, she knew she had to go back down. It was getting late, and she would have to go to bed.
She went back down in the elevator and ignored the dripping water from her clothes as she reached the bottom. She stepped out onto the platform, not surprised to see Optimus standing there with Ratchet, Bee and Cliff. They all were worried and seemed relieved to see her, but Ratchet was instantly worried again when he saw how drenched she was. And he was confused too, since he had seen on the radar that there was no rain.
"Odd…there wasn't meant to be any rain today…" Ratchet shrugged and looked at Azura as she made her way downstairs. "Are you feeling okay now, Azura?" She simply nodded back while looking at the ground. "If you wanted to have fresh air, you should have informed one of us. We were worried you would spend the night up there." She did not respond and kept walking and Ratchet softened his voice. "Just remember, we still love you, Azura. You're part of this family, and we will protect you. You have our word."
Azura felt fresh tears as she heard him say that, but she kept herself from sobbing so he did not know he had gotten her upset. "Azura…" She tensed hearing Optimus address her. "Would it be possible for us to talk?" She did not respond and reached the bottom of the stairs and made her way towards the hallway. "Maybe not now…but…when you are ready?" She shrugged silently and kept walking. "I do love you, Azura…I know I went about things the wrong way. I cannot go back and change the past. I wish we had found you sooner, I really do. But I still love you."
Azura nearly broke into tears. She wanted to speak but her throat was tight and she couldn't. She just kept walking. "We're here for ya, kid. Don't ever forget that. We were there for you when we first found you, and we will be there from now on." She believed Cliffjumper, but she still needed time alone.
She returned to her room and locked the door. She saw the console had been turned off, which was good. She did not know when Bee and Cliff even noticed she had left, but she did not care. She got changed, had a hot shower and got into warm, dry clothes before she sat on the bed. She thought about things deeply. She knew she wanted to leave. That was the thing she wanted to.
I wonder if there is a part in the base that is not covered by metal…maybe I could split the wall just enough to get through without causing a cave in.
Feeling resolved, Azura grabbed out two bags. She made sure she had all of her school stuff and she packed her underwear and as much clothes as she could. She did not bother with the dresses as they weren't practical. She packed a few pyjamas and made sure she had enough socks and shoes. She did know she had no money, and using the card meant Fowler could find her. And there was a chance the autobots would be able to find her anyway.
She pulled off her neck and held up the chain, staring at the crystal with a frown. She's carried it all this time with the hope of finding her parents someday. And now she has found herself in what could be more dangerous than she thought. And she was scared of being let down again. She felt an overwhelming amount of pain as she placed the necklace onto the pillow and made her way to the door.
She opened it and peered out of the room. She could not hear anyone and made her way into the hallway but walked away from the lobby. She knew going towards the lobby was a higher risk of running into someone. That was the last thing she wanted. She took her time walking through the hallways, and checking every place the autobots could not fit. It took at least twenty minutes before she found an uncovered cave wall.
Smiling to herself, Azura walked over to it and saw that there were holes in the wall. She peered into them and smiled when she felt and smelt fresh air coming through. This was the way out. Concentrating, she held her hands out and focused before she saw the crack visibly appear on the wall. She took a deep breath and carefully created a tunnel in the wall and ran through it before she stopped and closed the wall back up as it was before. It was still raining, and that was good. The less visibility, the better. She did not want some strange person to find her, not did she was a decepticon to see her. She knew they might if they had heat sensors, but she was less worried about that. And her tracks would also be covered. It would take a little bit to get to town, but that is where she would go.
Meanwhile…
It had been over an hour since Azura had come back from the top of the silo and Ratchet had given her enough time to shower and get changed. He wanted to check her in case she might get sick. She was unlikely to get a cold, but she could get the Cybertronian equivalent to one. He made his way to the girl's door and saw Optimus standing by it with a sad expression.
"I hope you aren't planning on barging in and speaking to her," Ratchet said as he looked at Optimus suspiciously.
Optimus shook his head. "No…I just…am thinking." He looked at the medic as Ratchet approached the door. "I guess you must be making sure she is not sick."
"Correct. She might not be human, but…" Ratchet flinched when the door opened automatically and he frowned. "Odd…it shouldn't have the automatic function on." He stepped into the room and saw it was extremely quiet. The bed was still made and there was no sound aside from the fish tank. "Azura, are you still in the bathroom?" There was no answer, or sound from the bathroom. "I just want to check and make sure you are not sick. Please allow me…"
"Ratchet…" The medic turned when he heard the tone of despair from Optimus. He saw Prime had stepped closer to the bed and knelt down. Ratchet widened his optics when he saw Optimus lifting Azura's necklace from the bed, holding the Cybertronian crystal up. "She never leaves it."
Ratchet frowned and began to open the drawers and gasped. "Her clothes are missing…" He was immediately worried as he checked the drawers to find a lot of her clothes gone. He than checked where she put her bags and they weren't there. "Oh no…she's trying to escape…" He turned and he ran out of the room with Optimus. "Cliff! Bee! Get the other two! Azura's trying to flee!"
Optimus stopped in his tracks and turned his head, staring at Azura's room and thought for a moment. She's had plenty of time to escape, and there might be hidden tunnels they know nothing about. He ran to the lobby where he saw Cliff, Bee, Arcee and Bulkhead spread into the hallways to look for Azura. "I'm going to see if she's outside. There could be an escape route in the silo we know nothing about for humans."
"I was just about to do that myself," Ratchet said bluntly as he transformed into his ambulance form. "We must be quick. It's still raining out there. It seems to be raining harder too." He turned on his headlights and sped into the tunnel to leave the base.
Optimus looked at the crystal in his hand and he transformed as well to follow Ratchet. Though once outside, they would separate to look for her in different directions. The very thought that Azura has run away terrified Optimus. He knew that she was hurting. And they all hoped she would not be able to flee. But it was possible she has already, and he feared the worst.
And his worst fears were realized after six hours of searching in the base and on the road. The rain stopped after three hours, and they were now checking through Jasper itself to locate Azura. But there was no sign. They even contacted Fowler, and the man couldn't find any sign. The credit card was gone, so he would alert them if there was a transaction with the card. But so far, there was none. And there was no sign of Azura.
Optimus eventually had to pull over in an isolated area of the desert, surrounded by the large rocks. He couldn't take it anymore and he fell onto his knees, feeling the pain, guilt and regret wash over him. He's lost his daughter again. He had every chance to make things right, and he failed again. Optimus kept hold of the crystal, knowing she left it behind. Maybe it was out of fear of the decepticons, or she was rejecting that she was Cybertronian. Regardless, they had no means of tracking her now. Optimus hoped that she would come back to him somehow…she just had to. It couldn't end like this when they only just found her again.