I was sitting outside apartment 4C, doodling in my pocket notebook when I heard the voices coming up the stairs.

"But that isn't our order." Said a petulant man.

"It is our order. Plus another medium pizza." Another man replied.

"Then that's not our order"

"Some of us just wanted to try the limited-time special before it went away." A different man argued.

"What's on the special anyway?"

"Spicy chicken, peppers, onions and black olives."

"What's the harm Sheldon?" came a woman's voice.

"It isn't our order."

"What if you like it? Would that make it worth trying?"

"No. It just isn't our order."

Dang, I thought Aunt Linda in Colorado was autistic, but this voice took the cake.

They came into view. I'd met three of them before and could match names to the faces if not voices. The other two were new.

Leonard said "Oh, Hi Amanda. Enjoying the hallway."

"Locked out." I replied.

"Do you wanna call someone?" He took out his cell phone.

I held up mine. "No one to call. Mom's at work and I just moved here. I know nobody."

"Have you had dinner yet?" When I shook my head, he continued "If you like pizza you can join us. Penny's here, you won't be the only lady."

"No money." I replied. (Once in a while I did take advantage of my youth.)

"That's okay. We have extra pizza." He turned his head "See Sheldon. Extra pizza helps with an extra guest. So we all have enough."

"That's an ex post facto rationalization."

Penny said, "Better that than an ex post facto plan change resulting in a shortage." Weirdly she said ex post facto as "X poz fakto." As if she'd never said it before, but decided to say it now.

As we went in 4A Leonard pointed and said "That's Howard and that's Raj. Howard and Raj, you probably heard she's Amanda."

I'll give Sheldon credit for one thing. He offered me "a hot beverage." Hospitable, but I only have coco when it's cold and how many kids my age drink coffee or even tea? I had a soda instead.

Sheldon went to wash his hands. I sat down on the couch and they gave me a weird look. Leonard hastily pulled out his desk chair and pointed to it. So I sat there, and Sheldon sat where I vacated.

They skipped saying grace, but I said it to myself.

I looked at the pizzas. "Why are there gaps in the cheese?"

Sheldon said "That's for Leonard. He's lactose intolerant."

Penny said, "If you're still hungry after he stops eating, all slices are up for grabs."

Sheldon said, "So do you sit in the hallway often?"

I thought 'Like dude, I'm almost 13 and even I know that's awkward conversation.' But I said "Only when my mom and her friend Susan get busy. At least till I have friends in the area."

He asked, "Get busy? Doing what?" Like I wasn't trying to dance around it. Fortunately, Penny whispered to him.

He said "Ah, double female coitus. I imagine that might keep some people busy." He said it weirdly detached. I figured he was probably asexual.

Later he asked about my electronic devices. I told him about my laptop and phone. He nodded.

()()()

The pizza was good. Even the new one was a success. After we all agreed on that, Howard looked right at Penny, licked his lips, and said "Not the only dish I'd like to try devouring."

I was hoping to get the physical symptoms of adolescence soon. But then I'd need to deal with Howard-type guys. I studied Penny carefully. The look of disgust. That seemed a good response.

()()()

Sheldon asked, "So Amanda, do you like comic books?"

"Not so much. I was bitten by a radioactive cockroach and it didn't change me at all."

The funny thing is that was true. It had been a weird visit to the reactor Dad worked at. But I said it like I was joking and they didn't believe the story. So, it turned into a joke that only I got.

Howard said, "You DON'T want to be Cockroach Girl."

Sheldon said, "Cockroaches have excellent antennas, mandibles and locomotion."

"So, you like cockroaches?" I asked.

"Admire them in the abstract. In person they're revolting."

Leonard said, "Societal prejudice would leave Cockroach Girl socially isolated."

Sheldon said, "Cockroaches do better with their peer group."

Raj whispered to Howard. Howard asked, "Would you be a heroine or a villainess?"

I said, "I hadn't gotten that far."

Raj whispered to Howard again. Howard said, "Raj is wondering what Cockroach Girl might reincarnate into if she led a good life."

Sheldon said, "In his belief framework, maybe a regular superheroine like Wonder Woman."

I asked, "Why does Raj talk thru Howard?"

Penny said, "He can't talk in front of women."

"He's shy."

He whispered again. Howard said, "Selective mutism is a real medical condition."

"He's a mutant?" I knew better but asked anyway.

Leonard said, "Selective mutism means he can't talk in select situations, although he manages his condition with alcohol."

"Are you guys drinking tonight?"

"No. It's Wednesday."

Sheldon said, "You drank last Wednesday."

Penny hastily said, "New drinking schedule. We didn't consult you because you don't drink."

He nodded. Then said, "But we're still going to watch the time-travel movie tonight?"

Leonard hastily said, "The Philadelphia Experiment."

"Oh good." I said, "I saw the first half, but missed the second."

"No. Tonight we're going to watch the director's cut of the Butterfly Effect. They say it's an even grittier version." Sheldon said.

Leonard hastily led Sheldon into the kitchen. (Like I don't have good hearing.)

"Sheldon, the theatrical cut of that movie is disturbing enough. Prison bullying, self-mutilation, crippling injuries and child abuse. Is there ANY reason you can think of why we might want a less gritty film tonight? ANY at all?" He gestured in my direction.

"Yes. The spicy chicken, peppers and onions on the pizza. Might lead to disturbing dreams tonight. Hence the film choice. I'm surprised you thought of that Leonard."

Leonard looked at Penny. She shrugged.

()()()()

The movie's not the best, but I liked it. The part where the two guys time-displaced from the 1940s run into one of their older selves in the 1980s and the older version turns his horse and refuses to talk to them is freaky.

Then a knock on the door. We paused the movie. They told Mom I was no trouble. She even let me finish the movie since I said there was only 23 minutes left.

When I got home she casually asked questions parents ask their underage kids who make random adult friends. One day maybe I'll have kids and ask them the same sort of questions.

()()()()

A few days later Sheldon gave me headphones for my birthday. Only he didn't know it was my birthday. I thought he was being nice, but later I wondered if he didn't want me in the hallway getting invited into his apartment when Mom and Susan were "Double female coitus-ing." It worked, I just plugged them into the laptop and blasted tunes, ignoring Mom and Susan's sound effects.

Mom probably figured I got them at Dad's and never asked.

()()()()

A few weeks later I heard Penny in the hallway coming home and came out and said "Penny. Can I ask you something?"

She nodded.

"With extra credit, I got 104 out of 100 on my science test."

"That's good." She replied.

"If I keep studying hard, will I turn into one of-" I didn't say it but I pointed to apartment 4A.

"Sweetie, you can be smart and be whoever you want."

()()()()

The next summer, Dad dropped me off after a trip to his family and Mom and Susan were loading a moving van. I get that parents make the decisions, but shouldn't that have been discussed, being that Mom knew in advance and I didn't? Mom's a born nomad. New school for eighth grade. I never said goodbye to anyone, except by text or online, and I hadn't e-friended the neighbors on my floor. But I wasn't close to them, just my peer group and a couple of teachers.

I haven't thought much about them in years and now I'm a scientist myself. But I heard Sheldon and his wife(?) won a Nobel prize, and it all came back.