Disclaimer: Do not own Marvel, DC or The 100
Warnings for PTSD, genocide and unhealthy relationships and arson.
One important thing to keep in mind is this; Laura Barton, all the Barton children, Sam Wilson, Maria Hill, Fury, Wanda, Bucky and T'Challa didn't get snapped away in this fic.
And Yelena, Melina and Alexei are very much not snapped away. I don't know if they were snapped away or not in the movies, but they aren't here.
And Pietro is still alive and hasn't been snapped away.
I might not have to
The way to bring all of the people who had been lost thanks to Thanos, was now apparent.
Natasha found the technology and knew that what Scott Lang had said was true.
Lang had said that he didn't know where the technology was, but that he suspected that it was back at the Pym house.
And that had led Natasha to where she was now. At the Pym house. And she was looking at the laboratory where Mr. Hank Pym himself had worked.
Natasha stepped back in the doorway of the lab, taking a deep breath.
What Scott Lang was true. There were Pym particles, that could be used to help them time travel and get the stones back to bring everyone back.
But Natasha felt a cold feeling all over her at the thought.
Because she knew what was needed to get one of those stones.
The soul stone? Something specific was needed to get ahold of the soul stone.
Natasha had talked to Tony in the five years since the snap.
All of the heroes that were the Guardians of the Galaxy, Dr. Strange, Spiderman and Tony himself, had been on Titan. And they had fought Thanos there.
And when Thanos had come crashing in on them, to get the time stone from Dr. Strange? An interaction had happened.
Apparently, Thanos having taken Gamora, a member of the crew of the Guardians of the Galaxy, and him showing up on Titan without her? That meant something.
And the soul stone, its name? It was already rather telling. The soul stone required a sacrifice, didn't it?
And if it didn't, then why had Nebula, Gamora's sister, not found Gamora by now?
It brought Natasha to the realization that plain. Extremely plain. The soul stone needed a sacrifice. And it likely meant the sacrifice of someone's life.
Natasha considered this.
What could she do?
She knew that they needed to split their group into multiple pairs to find the different infinity stones. Natasha had done the math already, and knew that around the same exact time, at least three infinity stones were in Manhattan at the same exact time.
The mind stone, the time stone and the space stone.
Yes, theoretically, Natasha could try to convince Clarke to try to get those three stones, keep her away from where the soul stone was.
But the thing was, it wasn't just Clarke.
Natasha had seen how Clarke was, even before the snap had occurred.
If anything happened to any of her soulmates, any of them? Especially Natasha? It would break her. It would destroy her.
If any of Clarke's soulmates at all were sacrificed? Any of them at all? It would destroy her.
And if anything happened to Natasha? Clarke just might find a way to kill herself, if she became desperate enough.
Clint Barton and his family? Natasha had made sure all of them stayed safe, off of the map. That SHIELD didn't focus on them.
Clint, Laura and the kids weren't going to be involved in this. And they were of a great deal of support to Clarke.
However, she knew that even with the Bartons being Clarke's family, and even with all of Clarke's other familial and romantic partner soulmates around, if anything happened to Natasha herself?
It would likely break Clarke into a billion little pieces.
Natasha smiled sadly, understanding what she was going to do.
The infinity stones had been destroyed. Any chance of what had happened before, happening again, was not just highly unlikely, it seemed impossible, because most of the halves of the many different galaxies, had been wiped out.
All those other planets were desperately trying to repair things after what Thanos had done.
What did this mean? It meant that very likely? Natasha, Clarke, Maria, Clint, Laura, the kids, Wanda, Pietro and everyone else, were probably going to have long lives without war or conflict.
Perhaps it would take a while to find peace of the soul, but they would have peace in every other way.
This was guaranteed. Because all of the Earth's armies had been halved, because of Thanos. And all of the tribes? The twelve tribes? They were no different.
The current commander, Lexa, barely emerged from her tower, too grieved by the loss of Titus, almost all of the Nightbloods in her care, save for one named Aden, Gustus and Indra.
All of them had been snapped away, and because all three Titus, Gustus and Indra had encouraged war, Natasha saw no reason to help bring them back.
Natasha knew, with a growing self-disgust, what she was going to do.
She was going to betray all of the Avengers.
She was going to betray everyone on Earth; everyone in all of the universe.
But she couldn't find it within herself to stop.
She walked to where the stove was, and began turning the dial, till there was clicking and she smelled gas.
The Pym particles themselves likely were not flammable. However, the containers that held them, were flammable.
Natasha knew she'd need to get a good distance to be away from the explosions, or else her planning and deciding not to help bring anyone back, for the sake of sparing Clarke any pain or despair, would be for nothing.
When she smelled the gas, only then did Natasha back away from the stove.
Natasha looked over the workshop where Lang intended to use the Pym particles. Lang's van was parked just next to this building. It was in the garage. And it held a good deal of the particles too.
That also would be up in flames, too.
Natasha tried to ignore the repulsion of herself she felt.
She knew she would hate herself for the rest of her life for this.
Yes, she could plead with Yelena and Melina to look after Clarke for the rest of their lives, should anything happen to Natasha herself.
Or she could try to trick Steve or Bruce to die in her place, so as to get their hands on the soul stone.
But Natasha deep down already knew, she wasn't going to do it. Why do it? If she tried to help find the stones in another timeline in any way? That would mean that all the threats would be brought back. There would be people like Dreykov out there again.
Yes, Dreykov had been killed. By Yelena, when she, Natasha, Clarke, Melina and Alexei went to the Red Room up in the sky and destroyed everything there and freed all the Widows.
But there still would be people like him out there, were it not for the snap.
And the same with the people ordering the Accords. How many of those ordering the Accords still lived after the snap?
Almost none. Agent Thaddeus Ross certainly had been snapped away.
Everyone else was stumbling around, unsure of what to do next. And petrified off offending the Avengers and Justice league or the Defenders, and the X-Men in any way.
There was almost no threat out there now.
The Widows themselves, who Clarke and Natasha had helped freed? Somehow, all of them had dodged the bullet of the snap.
All of those that had been rescued from the Red Room over five years ago, had not been snapped away.
A good thing too.
Because Natasha had seen how Clarke had come to consider those Widows. And how the Widows considered Clarke.
The Widows that Clarke, Natasha, Yelena, Melina and Alexei had rescued, considered Clarke family. As much as they did Natasha and Yelena.
It would likely feel for Clarke, like she had lost a piece of her heart if one of them died.
Natasha smiled sadly, a dark glint entering her eye as she did.
She knew that what she was doing went against every promise she'd made since leaving HYDRA.
It went against the Avengers and the Bartons, all of them, her family.
It even went against the recent morals that her first family, Yelena, Melina and Alexei, had come to stand for.
She knew that should she tell Melina? Melina probably would keep the secret. May even agree with Natasha's decision.
Alexei? Natasha honestly couldn't say for sure. With him, she suspected, it depended on how glorious it would make him look.
Which probably meant that he wouldn't be onboard with it.
But Yelena? Clarke? The other Widows?
They would never go for it.
Yes, Natasha knew that she was betraying Clarke.
But Clarke didn't have to know that.
Natasha left the lab room, and got out of that level of the house. She had checked the house already for cameras and for microphones. There were none. And she knew no one was around close by to see her enter or exit the house.
Reaching into her pocket, she pulled out the lighter, flicking it open.
She grabbed some of the papers off of the desk, knowing that they had likely been the property of Hank Pym, his wife or their daughter, Hope van Dyne.
She raised the lighter to the papers and flicked the flame on. She pressed the flame against the paper and the paper was soon on fire.
Natasha felt a great pain grip her chest.
She hoped Clarke could forgive her, should she ever find out about this.
But Natasha couldn't risk this.
What would happen when everyone was brought back? What would happen when all the people who had threatened the Avengers were brought back? Or when Thaddeus Ross was back? Or when Dreykov's allies were brought back?
What happened when all the different crime organizations were brought back?
It was too risky.
And the infinity stones were gone. Having them again would just endanger more people.
Natasha knew she was just making excuses for her actions now, but she couldn't stop and she knew it.
She threw the lit up papers into the room and left the house, going down the pathway to the woods.
She went through the woods, wishing she could regret it more when she heard the house blowing up.
The garage, the house, everything, was up in flames, and everything destroyed. Including the Pym particles.
Natasha went through a few neighborhoods, it long being too dark for anyone to be out and looking for some stranger passing through.
She reached the Stark Tower, went up in the elevator, got to her shared room with Clarke and entered.
She knew Clarke and Wanda would be in bed.
Sometimes Maria would share the bed with them.
But right now, she was busy at work.
Natasha was just happy to have Clarke here.
She kicked her shoes off, pulled her jacket off and tossed it to the floor, and went to the bed, going under the covers next to Clarke and Wanda.
Clarke lay between the two older women.
Clarke was asleep, Natasha could tell from the blonde woman's breathing.
But Wanda was not.
Wanda raised her head in the dark as Natasha joined her and Clarke.
"Wanda," Natasha greeted, knowing what was going to happen next.
"Natasha," Wanda said, "You…..," and Natasha knew that Wanda could read what Natasha had done.
Wanda couldn't read Clarke's mind. Not entirely. But Wanda could read everyone else's mind. Including Natasha's.
"The Pym particles…," Wanda mumbled.
"Not here anymore," Natasha confirmed, nodding, "Destroyed."
Natasha vaguely made out Wanda's eyes widening and her mouth dropping in the dark.
Natasha knew that Wanda would side with her on this.
Because even if Wanda valued her friendship with the now long destroyed Vision? Wanda loved Clarke more.
Besides, even if they succeeded in bringing everyone back with the stones, there was no guarantee that they could bring Vision back. He had been destroyed before the snap.
Natasha could practically feel Wanda poking around in her head, trying to understand Natasha's logic.
Trying to understand Natasha's reason for having doomed any chances they had of bringing everyone back.
"You know," Wanda said quietly, after several near minutes, "You committed treason by doing this. Treason both to everyone in SHIELD and the Avengers. But also to the tribes."
Natasha nodded.
"I know," she assured Wanda, "Will you tell anyone? Including Clarke?"
Natasha heard a small, soft and sad laugh from Wanda, "No. But you knew that, right? I agree with why you did it. I was wondering if anyone else would figure out what I did. That there would be way more threats if people were brought back, than if they stayed gone."
Natasha smirked, hearing Wanda agree.
They both now at this moment, likely were the worst people to be Avengers. But did that mean they were wrong?
Dreykov's allies gone, a huge portion of the violent criminal population, gone, a huge number of the aliens threatening the rest of the galaxies, gone.
Did that excuse what Natasha had decided to do? No.
Natasha hoped that if Clarke ever found out, that she could forgive her. And Wanda for agreeing with Natasha.
Wanda said quietly, "The people calling for the Accords, the other world powers, the tribes, all the threats across the galaxies? We don't have to worry about them anymore. And neither does Clarke."
Natasha nodded, feeling relieved that Wanda understood.
"And you understand?" She said, "About that particular stone?"
"Yes," Wanda said, sighing, "We can't let Clarke lose anything else."
Natasha leaned in close to Clarke and so did Wanda, the two of them holding Clarke tightly between them on the bed.
Clarke had lost enough in her life. Using the Pym particles would only risk her having to lose more because of the soul stone or because they were bringing back threats.
Wanda knew the same that Natasha knew. That the people who had created those wretched Accords, would now no longer be able to try anything. They had been snapped away.
Tony? He was still hurting over all of it, but he still lived. He could have a life now. One that didn't demand he obey the Accords.
Yes, that boy, Peter Parker was gone and Natasha felt a good deal of guilt for that. But she knew it had to be done.
The rest of the world powers no longer were waging war. And what few wars there were, were too small and focused that they were in small isolated areas and easily dealt with by the lawmakers there.
And the current commander, Lexa, would not order anyone at war. She would remain in her tower grieving over Titus, Indra and Gustus, trying to protect her last potential heir, Aden. No more warmongering for the tribes.
And the soul stone? Natasha would never let Clarke go after that. But if it needed Natasha or Wanda or Maria or someone else to go after it?
Natasha wasn't afraid of death. Death was just a risk all Avengers took. But knowing that Clarke would experience loss again because of it? No, she couldn't allow that.
Again, Natasha and by now, Wanda, couldn't see what was so bad about all of this.
And if Natasha took part in trying to get the soul stone from the alternate timeline, then she would be a participant of hurting Clarke again, even if it was unintentionally.
But now?
(Now, I might not have to hurt her,) Natasha thought to herself, breathing in Clarke's scent in contentment, (Now, none of us will be able to hurt her. Clarke can just stay happy with us, with the Barton family and all of her soulmates, without having to worry about threats to us.)
She knew Wanda could hear her thoughts. And she was sure that if anyone else had heard her thoughts? They would think her a maniac. But she felt Wanda smile in the dark.
Scott Lang would discover the destroyed house and garage in the morning and would likely have a breakdown over now not being able to get the infinity stones from the alternate timeline and bringing everyone back.
But that really wasn't their problem. Yes, there would be questions as to who was responsible. But no one would know who it was.
And…no one else had to know.