"You hate me for losing that baby, Aaron! And I get it, I really do. What I don't get, is why you asked me to move in and decided to stay with me even though you resent me so much for it."
"I do not hate you. I do not resent you. Stop telling me that I feel like that. Losing that baby was out of your control Emily and I know that. I'm not telling you that you need to move on or get over it; I'm telling you that you need to learn to live with it.
"I made a comment that I didn't think through that was insensitive to you. I sincerely apologise for that, but you know that I didn't intend on hurting you. What you're doing here is picking a fight because you can't forgive yourself for not realising you were pregnant sooner, and instead of confronting that guilt, you're taking your anger out on me. That isn't fair."
He was getting angry now, understandably. He was right and I knew that, but I was too far into this and too stubborn to backtrack now. "I need to leave." I tried to walk past him and out of the bedroom, but he moved aside to stand in my way. "Aaron, let me go."
"No." He said.
"Let me go!" I was overwhelmed and no longer had the same control I usually did over my emotions, and that terrified me. It caused a fight or flight reaction in me. Since he was in my way, flight wasn't a possibility. Instead, I balled my fists and lifted my right one. He caught my wrist before it connected with him, and he took my other one is his other hand. He backed me up into the wall gently and held my wrists at my sides. His grip was hard, but not enough to bruise me. "Aaron, please." I sobbed as I stopped trying to fight out of his grasp. He let go and I sank to the ground in sobs.
He moved to sit in front of me and he took my hands gently, "Look at me," he said calmly. I lifted my head and met his eyes. He let go of one hand to wipe my tears away, "I need you to believe me when I tell you that I do not blame you for what happened, and I love you more than anything."
I took a few deep breaths to calm down as he watched me patiently. After a few minutes, I took one more breath before I finally spoke, "I'm sorry for trying to hit you."
He smiled, "It's okay."
"Have you ever just wanted to disappear off the face of the Earth? Like everything would be okay again if you just weren't here anymore? Not suicidal, but just that you could vanish into thin air?" I watched him for a few seconds as he thought, and then he just nodded. "That is how I have felt every day since that miscarriage.
"When Ian came back…that feeling was reinforced with so much power. Some days I'm okay, but my scar still hurts sometimes, and the brand still feels like fire sometimes, and this morning I woke from a nightmare of Ian, and I'm having a bad day. I know that I promised that I would tell you when this happened, but I was worried about you judging me in regard to Ian. That is why I have reacted the way I have today. I'm sorry."
"Just like I need you to believe me about not blaming you, I also need you to believe me when I say that what happened with Doyle is in your past, and I do not hold any judgement over that whatsoever. People make mistakes all the time, and that's okay. You are with me now, and that is all that matters to me." I smiled gratefully at him, put my hand behind his neck, and guided his lips to mine. "I love you, Emily."
"I love you too."
Four more weeks passed before we found a house that I fell in love with. It was a spacious two-storey home. Five bedrooms, two bathrooms and an ensuite. It had a large, fenced backyard, and the iconic white picket fence out front. A two-car lock-up garage with space for more on the driveway. Beautiful hardwood floors, marble white tiles in the bathrooms, light grey soft carpet in the bedrooms.
It was in Lorton, Virginia. Forty minutes from Quantico, fifty minutes from DC.
After I expressed how much I loved it, Morgan spent a long time looking around to make sure it was structurally sound. When he finally returned to us, he smiled at me, "Not a problem with it."
I smiled and looked at Hotch beside me, "I want it." He walked into the kitchen to find the agent and discuss the purchase. I looked at Hotch when he came back in, "So?"
He glanced at Morgan before he motioned for me to follow him. I went into the living room with him, and Morgan got the message and went back upstairs. "There are four other people who have put offers in, all above the initial asking price."
"How much?"
"Highest offer is 1.1 million."
I nodded, "Okay, so we offer 1.2 million."
"Emily, the bank only approved a million, and he advised us to try get something lower."
"Do you like this house?"
He sighed, "Yes, and I know you love it, but I don't have that additional money right now."
"I do." I nodded. He let out another sigh and pursed his lips, looking down to his feet. Something was bothering him. "Oh, is this another "I'm the man; I should be supporting her" thing? No, Aaron. We both want this house. So we have the million from the bank. I'll get the rest. Stop acting like I'm some gold digger who needs you to provide for me."
"Fine." He turned and went back through to the foyer, and to the kitchen. I followed him and stood silently with Morgan as he put the offer down and filled out the paperwork. He handed me the pen to sign beside his signature.
When we left, I asked Morgan if he'd like to get a coffee with us. He declined, said he was meeting up with someone soon, and then said goodbye.
Hotch drove us to a small café. I went and ordered our coffee's as he called into Quantico to check on things. Even though it was the weekend, he could never stop thinking about work.
Once I received the coffee's, I handed him his and led him to the park across the road. I sat on a park bench and waited patiently for him to finish up the phone call, and then I saw him turn his phone on silent and give his full attention over to me.
I sat with my head on his shoulder as we spoke about the house. Whose furniture we would put where, which room would be Jack's, what would I put in one of the spare rooms that would be declared mine, etcetera.
After a while, he pressed a chaste kiss to my lips. It was quick considering he hated public displays of affection. I wasn't a huge fan either, but I was okay with kissing him here and there.
Another three weeks passed, and then we were handed the keys to our new house. Jack was ecstatic.
The moving process was postponed due to a case, much to Jack's dismay. Finally, a three-day weekend presented itself to us. We got up early on Saturday; I made breakfast for the three of us. We ate and drank coffee, Jack had juice, and then we got ready quickly and began boxing everything in the apartment. My stuff was easy; there wasn't all that much here. Most of it was in storage.
I packed the kitchen up completely, and then set off to help Jack with his room.
We ordered pizza for dinner and watched a movie before putting Jack to bed in his now bare room.
Sunday morning, I got up first and packed the last few boxes of the living room. That left just the furniture.
We spent the morning moving small pieces of furniture that we could fit into our cars, either to the new house to be placed, or my storage unit to be stowed. From the storage unit, we took what we could and moved it to the house, as well as the rest of my stuff that I hadn't taken to the apartment with me.
By four, we were back home. I hadn't thought about the kitchen stuff that we would still need; I had already taken the coffee machine, cutlery, dishes, utensils – everything – to the house. So, we went down to a little family restaurant for dinner and let Jack play in their playroom until it was time to go home and to bed.
This morning, I hadn't woken to my alarm. I was exhausted, and only woke to my phone ringing. "Prentiss." I said, sitting up and rubbing my eyes.
"Knock knock…" JJ said. I could hear Will and Morgan laughing about something in the background.
I looked at the time on my phone and then returned it to my ear, "Coming," I bumped Hotch as I hung up the phone, "We slept in. The team is here to help."
I heard him get out of bed quickly as I left the bedroom. I slipped my bathrobe on before opening the door to the entire team.
"You were still sleeping. Didn't we say 8am?" JJ asked as they came in. I closed the door behind them.
I nodded but didn't speak as Jack ran into the room. "Good morning!" He exclaimed happily.
"You. Where were you this morning? Every other morning you wake me up before my alarm, and this morning…nothing." I threw my arms up.
"I was tired, Emmy. We had a big day last day."
"Yesterday." I corrected with a sigh. I turned and looked back at the team as they sat down at the dining table or on the couch. "I am going to get ready. Give me ten minutes."
I ran to the bathroom, jumped in the shower for two minutes, brushed my teeth, and then ran to the bedroom to dress and tie my hair up. When I returned Hotch was with the team, discussing the most efficient way to get things done.
"Emmy, I packed all my shirts already." Jack said as he walked back into the room. I went straight through and down the hall to his room with him. He really had packed everything, so I went back to my room and picked up Hotch's shirt that I had slept in last night. I met him in the living room, put it over his head, and then tied it up at the bottom with a hair tie to keep it at a reasonable length. I folded the sleeves up to a fair length too. "Thank you! Daddy, I wear your shirt!" He ran over excitedly to Hotch.
Hotch picked him up and I joined the group, "So?"
"So we're going to dissemble everything first and then start taking it all over." Morgan filled me in.
"Okay. Jack, can you please go strip your bed? Aaron, you can do ours, and I am going to run to the café across the street for coffee and breakfast."
Garcia and JJ came to get the coffee with me, and the guys began dissembling what they could.
They had Jack's bed down and his drawers taped up ready to move, and one part of our bed down by the time we got back. They took a break to eat the donuts and bagels I supplied and drink the coffee.
Garcia grabbed Jack's nightstand, and JJ and I grabbed one each from my room to move down as Morgan and Hotch finished dissembling our bed, and Reid and Will began moving Jack's downstairs. Rossi just observed.
By six o'clock, we had everything moved in. Jack's room was set up under his direction, and we had my bed from my storage unit set up in the master bedroom. Hotch's bed remained in pieces for now in the spare bedroom.
The living room was set up, the kitchen mostly unpacked.
The team left to their own lives after pizza, and I went up to make Jack's bed up for him. Once it was made and he was showered, dressed in his pyjamas, and in his bed, I went back downstairs. Hotch met me in the kitchen with a glass of wine and pressed a kiss to my lips.
We sat down at the dining table to have our drinks and discussed the things we had left to do. We decided we'd go shopping to get some artwork for the walls, and some frames for some of Jack's drawings.
We'd get a new dining table; I bigger one to fit guests.
Most of the house contained my furniture, and most of the furniture from Hotch's place, we had taken to my storage unit. He said he'd donate or sell it all, but we were in no real rush to get it done now.
"Aaron?" I asked as I watched him pour my third glass of wine. He looked at me and waited for me to continue. "Did you choose such a big house because you still think I'm going to change my mind?" It had been bugging me since we got the house.
He sighed, "We wanted a bigger place so you could have your own space. Granted, we probably didn't need one this large, but I figured this way if you do change your mind, or something unintentional happens, then we still have space to accommodate that, and for you to keep your space. You said you loved this house…"
"I do. I do love it. I had just noticed that most of the houses you picked for us to look at were all larger than necessary."
"Sweetheart, I am always going to respect what you do or do not want. I'm just following your lead here."
I smiled, "Right now, I want to go upstairs and christen the house." My smile turned into a small mischievous smirk. He took a little too long to respond for my liking, so I bit my lip.
"Yep." He stood quickly, taking a deep breath at the sight of my teeth in my lip. I let him pull me up. I went upstairs ahead of him as he set the alarm and turned the lights out.
While I waited, I undressed completely. I lay in the middle of the bed, my hair fanned out on the pillow, fully naked. He clearly wasn't expecting that when he came in, because he stopped dead in his tracks and stared at me. He allowed himself to ogle me for a few seconds before he approached the bed, stripping his shirt and jeans quickly as he did.
His hand lay against the scar on my stomach lightly, "You are perfect." He whispered in my ear before nibbling on the lobe.
"Kiss me." I breathed.