Cold Bloodlines

by SedatedDreams

Many seasons ago, Frost, a young, rogue kit is orphaned in ShadowClan during a brutal leaf-bare. As Frost grows she must fight to prove herself to her new Clan, while also unraveling the secrets of her parentage. But, the state of the forest is fragile, and a storm of war looms closer, threatening Frost's place in the Clan that she now calls home. (Former title: "Frosted Heart")

62. Chapter 62: Everything left forgotten

AN: I released two chapters today, so in case you were notified about this one, but missed the previous one, make sure you go back and read Chapter 61 first! This chapter won't make any sense without it lol.

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Slatewhisker slipped through the undergrowth, his eyes bright and his tail twitching eagerly.

"Just up this way," he meowed over his shoulder as he approached the edge of the forest and the outcropping of twoleg dens.

A large white cat rounded a bush behind him, his nose scrunched up.

"Why'd you drag me all the way out here again?" he meowed, giving his long-furred tail a shake. "I'm getting gross twoleg scent on my pelt."

Slatewhisker rolled his eyes.

"Oh lighten up, Paledusk. You used to be more fun," Slatewhisker said, lolling his tongue out at his brother.

Paledusk scowled at him, his expression only hardening in the face of Slatewhisker's teasing.

"There's no time for fun when you have a Clan to take care of," Paledusk rumbled. "You'd know that if you hadn't been spending all of your time as a warrior gallivanting around the twoleg-place, doing StarClan knows what."

Paledusk's words stung, but Slatewhisker did his best to not let that show on his expression. Paledusk had a nasty habit of twisting his claws in deeper once he realized that they made contact.

"Okay, okay. This'll only take a moment, and we'll go right back to hunting afterwards, alright?" Slatewhisker said, waving off Paledusk's worries with a swish of his tail. "But, I think you'll like them. They're really interesting cats."

"What I don't understand is why you're even talking to these cats in the first place," Paledusk sniffed, but he continued to walk after Slatewhisker anyway. "It's weird, and making our clan-mates gossip about you, and it's against the code."

Slatewhisker rolled his eyes, huffing in exasperation.

Why is Paledusk such a stick-in-the-mud sometimes?

"Our clan-mates won't care as long as it doesn't affect SkyClan," Slatewhisker said. "And, it doesn't— it's harmless! The code doesn't forbid having friends outside of the Clan, right? Besides, they're kittypets and loners. It's not like I'm meeting with other Clan cats and selling out SkyClan secrets or anything."

Paledusk arched a brow at him skeptically.

"Really? So these cats are just your 'friends?'" he asked.

Slatewhisker felt his skin start to warm, but he brushed it off with a quickly shake of his pelt.

"Yeah, they're just friends," he said in a firm voice, looking over his shoulder at Paledusk. "I'm not mates with any of them, if that's what you're implying."

"All I'm saying is that you've been spending a lot of time with these 'friends.' You can't fault me for asking," Paledusk said with a shrug. "Because taking a mate outside of the Clan is against the code, you know."

Slatewhisker nodded, and he knew he should've just left it at that… But, he couldn't stop the argument from forming on his tongue anyway.

"If I did have a loner or kittypet mate though… would it really be so bad?" Slatewhisker posited. "Since they'd live in the twoleg-place, it's not like I'd have to worry about facing them, or any kits we had together, in battle. It really doesn't seem like it'd be a problem."

Paledusk glowered at him, half in anger and half in shock.

"But, you'd waste time caring for them when you should be taking care of SkyClan," Paledusk growled.

"Not if their twolegs take care of them instead," Slatewhisker pointed out. "Then I could just visit them every so often. No burden on the clan there."

Paledusk stared at him with wide eyes.

"You can't seriously be considering this?!" he rumbled in outrage.

Slatewhisker flicked his tail against his brother's flank in a calming gesture.

"Oh, don't get your tail in such a twist!" Slatewhisker meowed. "It's just a little thought experiment. That's all."

"It better be," Paledusk said with another low growl.

Slatewhisker lifted his nose to the air as he picked up the familiar scents.

"We're here. Come on!" he said, bounding ahead of Paledusk.

Slatewhisker ducked underneath a crumbling fence, emerging in a yard next to a large, abandoned twoleg structure. It was much bigger than the standard dens, and unusually decorated as well. Although most of the windows had been long ago shattered, colorful glass still remained in some corners, glinting in the sunlight. The top of the structure came to a steep sharp point, much taller than the nearby dens.

Slatewhisker had once climbed to the very top, where he'd been able to gaze out over all of the forest, seeing all the way to the moors in the west, and in the east, the sprawling two-leg place and even a hazy outline of the mysterious territory behind it. When he'd slept that night, back in SkyClan's camp, he had dreamt that he was a bird, free to fly where he pleased, and he'd leapt from the den's top to soar all the way over the twoleg-place and into the distant lands beyond.

The lot surrounding the structure had slowly been reclaimed by the surrounding forests, and it was filled with tall weeds and grasses, as well as a few sapling trees and bushes. Besides the tall, interesting structure, Slatewhisker also liked it for that reason. It put him at ease to be in a place that felt more like the forest than the odd, manicured twoleg yards. It also helped that hardly any twolegs ever came here.

Slatewhisker led Paledusk through the yard and towards one of the shattered windows. It had been barricaded with boards of wood, but there was plenty of space for a cat to fit through.

In one easy, well-practiced motion, Slatewhisker sprung up on the sill. He glanced down at Paledusk from over his shoulder.

"Make sure you don't step on any of the glass. It's sharper than a claw and will cut your paw right open," he warned before turning and slipping into the den.

Slatewhisker jumped down into the large room, sneezing as he stirred up a patch of dust. As he waited for Paledusk to follow him in, he took a moment to admire the space. Sunlight streamed in through the gaps in the wooden boards, lighting up the dust motes that danced in the air. But, Slatewhisker's absolute favorite thing about the place was when the light hit the colorful glass that remained in the windows, sending dazzling colors kaleidoscoping across the ground.

Slatewhisker padded through a puddle of the rainbow light now, purring as it lit his fur up in an array of brilliant colors he'd only seen before on flowers in new-leaf and the jeweled backs of beetles. Then the wooden ground under his feet shook slightly as Paledusk's bulk landed behind him. Slatewhisker glanced over at his brother, his purr building louder in his throat.

"Pretty cool, right?" he asked.

Paledusk just grunted, seemingly unwilling to give his brother the satisfaction of an agreement. But, Slatewhisker didn't miss how he gazed around with wide eyes, taking in the huge room and colors. Slatewhisker began to trot forward, walking between rows of old twoleg benches.

"Guys? You here?" Slatewhisker called.

He could smell his friends, but there was no sight of them yet. As he approached the other end of the room, their scent grew stronger, until suddenly, a weight slammed into his back.

Slatewhisker released a yowl of surprise, which turned into a grunt as he hit the ground. Bowled over by the pounce, Slatewhisker and his attacker tumbled for a moment, and he was about to dig unsheathed claws into their pelt when a familiar scent flooded his mouth.

Slatewhisker went limp, allowing himself to be pinned down by the cat, and a pair of laughing blue eyes peered down at him.

"Are you bird-brained, May?!" Slatewhisker said with a mock growl, batting at the she-cat's face with soft paws. "If I hadn't realized it was you, I could've really hurt you!"

"I told her that it was a bad idea!" another voice peeped up.

Slatewhisker looked upwards and caught a glance of the black-flecked face of Pepper, peering down at him from what must have been May's same hiding spot, up on one of the low balconies that ringed the room.

May purred loudly, stepping off of Slatewhisker.

"I couldn't help it, you just made it too easy for me to sneak up on you! I thought you ferals were always supposed to be on your guard? Constant vigilance or something like that?" May's tail flicked in mischief.

Slatewhisker suddenly sprung to his paws and started prowling in a circle around May like he was hunting her.

"Sure, but we don't expect attacks from our friends," Slatewhisker said with a huff. "We call that 'treason.'"

Pepper's collar tinkled softly as he began to pick his way down from the balcony, taking a much more careful path than May must have when she'd leapt on him.

"I'm not a traitor," May protested, blinking on offense. "Think of it more like training."

She crouched down in an admittedly good approximation of his hunters' crouch, sweeping a critical eye up and down his body.

"It's like we're practicing fighting! You guys do do that, right? I basically used that tree-jumping technique you told me about," she said, stalking towards him.

Slatewhisker snorted, straightening.

"If you wanted a real fight, you should have jumped on him instead," Slatewhisker said, jerking his chin towards Paledusk.

So far, his brother had just been standing a few fox-lengths away in silence, his pelt bristling. When May had pounced on him, Slatewhisker had noticed Paledusk lunge towards them out of the corner of his eye, but Slatewhisker had recognized May before Paledusk could reach them and pry her off. Now his brother just seemed uncertain and uneasy.

Slatewhisker summoned him over with a few swishes of his tail. Paledusk slowly approached, his steps reluctant. He shot a burning glance at Slatewhisker.

Slatewhisker knew his brother well enough to be able to plainly read the thoughts in his face. Right now he was thinking something like: 'You brought me here just to roll around like kits with a bunch of kittypets? And, you told them about our secret attack strategies from the trees?!'

"Paledusk is one of the best fighters in the Clan," Slatewhisker boasted, hoping some flattery would cheer his brother up. "He'd show you how a real SkyClan cat fights, right Pale?"

Slatewhisker nudged Paledusk's side with his muzzle.

"…Sure," Paledusk grumbled, his ears flattening.

"So, you're Paledusk," Pepper said, blinking in a friendly greeting. "I'm Pepper. It's nice to meet you. We've heard a lot about you from Slatewhisker."

"Just good things," Slatewhisker added jokingly.

Paledusk chose to glower instead of respond.

Slatewhisker gave Paledusk's shoulder another bump, but this time, his brother remained stiff and silent.

Oh he'll lighten up soon enough. Once he gets his head out of the mud and remembers how to have fun!

Slatewhisker chose to ignore his brother and turned his attention to his friends. Despite Paledusk's less-than-warm welcome, Pepper was still gazing at Slatewhisker with bright eyes.

"It's good to see you," Slatewhisker murmured, touching his nose to his in greeting.

"You as well," Pepper purred. "I hope you've been alright out in the wild with those new rogues roaming around."

"You know that they have nothing on SkyClan," Slatewhisker said with a small scoff.

"Right because a warrior like you could take on five rogues," Pepper teased.

Slatewhisker started to purr now too. "That's right. And, I could do it singled-pawed too."

"But, seriously, the rogues haven't been causing too much trouble for you, right?" Pepper asked, turning solemn again for a moment. "You're safe?"

Slatewhisker flicked his ears as if casting off his worry like he would stray droplets of water.

"The new rogues are a nuisance at worst. They might chase a mouse across the border every so often. Honestly, they cause about as much trouble for us as WindClan, and unlike WindClan, we actually have to share a border with the rogues!" Slatewhisker shrugged. "Fennelstar wants to chase them off, but I think a stern talking to would probably work just as well."

Pepper's shoulders loosened as some tension in his muscles drained.

"Good. I'm glad they aren't a problem," Pepper said. "Hopefully things can resolve without fighting."

"But, if it does, I can handle them," Slatewhisker reiterated, puffing his chest out.

"Single-pawed," Pepper added with a purr, his eyes crinkling.

Slatewhisker's purr grew louder, and he relaxed under Pepper's gentle yellow gaze as if he were lying in a pool of sunshine. Slatewhisker felt a sudden rush of fondness for his friend, so much so, it took him a bit by surprise.

But, why wouldn't he appreciate Pepper? He was easily the kindest, most optimistic cat Slatewhisker had ever met. He'd probably be able to even put a grumpy Paledusk at ease— even when he was in his worst moods.

But, Paledusk seemed totally uninterested in both Pepper or Slatewhisker. Instead, his gaze kept drifting to May. Frankly, Slatewhisker didn't blame him. May was exceptionally beautiful. Her fur was soft and plush, swirling around her like a cloud, and she had the most brilliant blue eyes Slatewhisker had ever seen. Even her pelt pattern was interesting, unlike anything Slatewhisker had seen on any other cat before. Cats commonly had white paws or white splotches on their faces, but May was all creamy-white besides her face, paws, and tail, which were a gentle grey.

And, luckily for Paledusk, May seemed just as curious about him as he was to her. She swept her gaze up and down Slatewhisker's brother, studying him closely.

"I think with enough training and practice, I could take him," May declared suddenly.

That finally broke through Paledusk's icy composure. He blinked once in shock, his green eyes flickering to May again, but this time, they lingered rather than quickly darting away. His gaze narrowed as he scrutinized her closely, taking in the striking grey markings, her dazzlingly sky-blue eyes, and her soft-furred body that spoke of a life far away from any battlefield.

"What?" Paledusk asked.

"I could take you," May reiterated, giving a decisive nod.

Paledusk huffed incredulously, tossing his head.

"I don't think so. Even if you practiced for days and days like a warrior, if you jumped on me like you did Slatewhisker, I'd tear you to shreds," he said, a slight growl entering his voice. "It wouldn't even take a heartbeat."

May bristled in offense. "That's not true. I think I'd be able to fight well if I trained hard."

"It is true," Paledusk insisted, his eyes narrowing to slits. "And, not as well as me."

May began to growl softly.

"Prove it," she demanded.

Paledusk blinked, his brow furrowing.

"You want me to prove it… like by fighting you?" he asked, baffled. "…Right now?"

"You seem so eager for it, so sure," May said, her tail twitching. "If I last even more than one heartbeat against you, I'd be right and you'd be wrong, correct? So, I'd win?"

Paledusk growled again, his tail starting to twitch.

"I'm not so eager to kill a friend of my brother," he snapped. "I'm just saying that it's a fact that if we were to fight, I would win."

"You ferals love to solve everything with your claws," May scoffed, rolling her eyes. "As if there's nothing more important than that."

Paledusk's lips curled back in a mocking, derisive snarl. "You speak as someone who hasn't ever had to lift a paw to provide for herself in her life."

May's fur puffed up, her blue eyes blazing.

"You know nothing about my life," she spat.

Slatewhisker's pelt started to prickle uneasily, and he and Pepper exchanged a worried look. This argument was quickly spiraling out of control.

Slatewhisker gingerly stepped between his bother and May.

"Why don't we all take a deep breath—" he started, but Paledusk cut him off by simply growling louder.

He brushed around Slatewhisker as if he didn't even see him there, striding closer to May while his long white fur bristled around him like dense fog.

"I know that you haven't faced real adversity," Paledusk hissed, bringing him and May nose to nose.

Slatewhisker had to give her credit for not flinching back. He wasn't even sure if he'd be able to hold his position if Paledusk had been in his face like that. His brother could be quite intimidating when he was angry.

"Because if you had, you'd understand that fighting is important when you have to do it to survive," Paledusk continued in a furious rumble, clenching his jaw.

May lifted her chin, his blue eyes defiant as she stared unblinkingly into Paledusk's green ones.

"See, this is exactly what I'm talking about." May gave an exasperated scoff, reaching a paw out to poke at Paledusk's fluffy chest in indication of his proximity.

Paledusk's brow furrowed at May's oddly bold reaction. Slatewhisker could almost see his brother's confused thoughts in his gaze, churning like disturbed water as he tried to understand why May wasn't behaving the way he'd expected.

May also seemed to realize that she'd gotten Paledusk on his back foot. Her eyes suddenly glinted with impish delight, and, although Slatewhisker couldn't predict what May would do next, he knew his friend well enough to know that May wouldn't leave an opportunity like this wasted— now that she'd unsteadied him, she would go in for the kill.

May's body language relaxed, her chin lowering slightly as she gazed up at Paledusk through half-lidded eyes.

"You huff and puff to get in my face, but if you wanted to be this close to me, all you had to do was ask," she said in a low purr, a wave of wicked mischievousness sweeping over her expression. "Violence isn't the only way to influence someone."

Paledusk blinked in confusion, but May didn't give him the chance to respond. Rather than shying back from the furious, bristling Paledusk, as any reasonable cat would do, May stepped forward, purring and running her head under his chin. Paledusk froze, his growl abruptly cutting off and every hair on his pelt standing on end as she twined around him, brushing her fur against his and purring all the while.

Slatewhisker relaxed as the danger of a true fight passed. Now the only danger seemed to be of Paledusk's brain malfunctioning as he tried to process what just happened.

Slatewhisker and Pepper exchanged an amused glance, and Slatewhisker did his best to swallow back the purrs that suddenly bubbled up in the back of his throat. It was especially funny because Paledusk was not a cat who got flustered.

It's almost refreshing to see him so caught off guard for once!

Paledusk remained rooted to the spot as May finished her circuit around him, stepping back and nonchalantly beginning to groom flat the parts of her pelt that had become ruffled from her play-fighting with Slatewhisker.

A few more heartbeats passed, and Paledusk still didn't move a whisker.

Slatewhisker's whiskers started to quiver now from the effort of keeping his purrs of laughter at bay.

Oh StarClan, I think she broke him!

Paledusk finally blinked, his gaze still locked on May. Slowly his bristling fur began to lie flat.

"W-who are you again?" he asked.

"May," she said simply, glancing up at him from her grooming.

"May," Paledusk echoed slowly as if tasting the name on his tongue.

Then Paledusk dipped his head to her, his expression softening. Slatewhisker watched with fascination as the transformation overcame his brother. It always amazed him how Paledusk was able to do that— go from deadly serious. or stewing with anger one moment, but the next, he was the most collected and charming cat in the forest. Paledusk was still ignoring Pepper, but Slatewhisker supposed he should count himself lucky that his brother had so quickly warmed up to at least one of his friends.

"It seems I underestimated you, May," Paledusk murmured. "My apologies. You are much more formidable than I'd thought. I can assure you, I won't make that same mistake twice."

May's whiskers twitched in amusement. "I should certainly hope so!"

Paledusk lifted his intent green eyes back up to her, and May gave her shoulder fur a few brisk, additional licks. Slatewhisker couldn't tell if her pelt was still ruffled from the wrestling, or if her fur was suddenly prickling bashfully under the full force of Paledusk's charm.

"Anyway, I'm sorry too, for getting snappy. How about we start over?" May drew herself up as if noticing his presence for the first time and dipped her head politely. "It's nice to meet you, Paledusk."

Paledusk started to purr, inclining his head graciously in response.

"Oh no, please; the pleasure is all mine."

---

"There's something I need to tell you."

Slatewhisker's solemn words hung in the night air as an early leaf-fall breeze stirred the leaves below and behind them. They were just starting to change color, but Slatewhisker's focus was turned away from the forest. From his favorite perch on the steep roof of the abandoned twoleg-den, Slatewhisker could see the entire skyline of the twoleg-place stretching out before him. They tempted him with their dazzling yellow lights, the call to wander and explore even stronger than usual. Slatewhisker kept his eyes on the horizon, so he moreso sensed than saw Pepper's gaze turn to him.

"Oh? What is it?" Pepper asked.

Slatewhisker took a deep inhale of the cool air to steady himself before he met his gaze. Beautiful, silver moonlight shone in Pepper's eyes, threatening to steal Slatewhisker's attention along with his breath, but he forced the words out before he lost his nerve or became distracted.

"Doepelt asked me to father her kits."

Whatever Pepper had been expecting him to say, it certainly was not that. Pepper's eyes widened in shock, and his ears angled backwards in a flash of dismay before he grappled back some control of his expression. He attempted to school it into something more neutral, but Pepper always wore his feelings on his face. Slatewhisker would have found the sorry attempt at an impassive look hilarious if the conversation had been about anything less serious.

"You— Um— What?" Pepper asked, somehow managing to still sound polite despite it all.

"Doepelt is a clan-mate, and a friend," Slatewhisker said, his pelt prickling uncomfortably as he tried to explain.

"A friend?" Pepper echoed.

Slatewhisker nodded emphatically. "Just a friend! I don't feel anything else towards her, and she doesn't feel anything else towards me either. Or, anyone for that matter, I think. She just wants to have a family." Slatewhisker searched Pepper's gaze, studying him to see if he believed him. "It's not a typical arrangement I know. But, if she wants kits but no mate, can anyone really blame her? It is a lot to think about, though, so I told her to give me some time. I think I'm okay with it, but I wanted to talk to you about it before I told her anything."

"I— Well, Slatewhisker," Pepper said awkwardly, breaking eye contact to stare down at his paws. "You don't have to talk to me about it. Why should I have a say in who you have kits with?"

Slatewhisker's stomach twisted with nerves and his mouth opened, but for a few moments no sound came out of it.

"Because… well, because I want you to," he rasped, his voice soft but raw. "I… I care about you a lot—"

Pepper cut him off with a sudden look, and despite the gentleness of him, there was a spark of ferocity in his eyes.

"You care about May a lot too, but I bet you didn't sit up here with her and have this same conversation, right?" Pepper challenged. "What are you trying to tell me?"

Slatewhisker gazed at him in silence for a moment, his breath stuck in his throat. Slatewhisker's clan-mates always sneered at kittypets for their soft and weak natures, but they didn't know anything. Pepper was so brave, far braver than Slatewhisker could ever hope to be. He was willing to take risks— to push, even when it was frightening.

"No. I haven't talked to her about it, and there isn't any reason for me to." The response flowed easily from Slatewhisker now, Pepper's words spurning him on. "I love you, Pepper. I want to be your mate— no one else's. And, I don't want to do anything that makes you uncomfortable."

Pepper softened again then, his gentle yellow eyes welling in emotion. He pressed his face into the thick ruff of fur around Slatewhisker's neck, a sudden purr rumbling through him.

"Oh you stupid furball," he said, every word full of affection. "I love you too, but I wish you hadn't started this conversation by telling me that you were thinking about having kits with someone else!"

Slatewhisker began to purr now too, his nerves fading and his heart lightening with every beat.

"But then I told you that I don't have any feelings for her!" he protested.

"Hush, I'm only teasing," Pepper said, with a sharp whisk of his tail. "Now let me just enjoy the moment."

Slatewhisker leaned his cheek against the top of Pepper's head, breathing in his scent— one which had become so familiar and comforting, despite being so different from his own or his clan-mates'.

For once, the ever-present, fluttering restlessness in Slatewhisker's chest settled and fell quiet. The sparkling edge of the horizon held much less intrigue now that Slatewhisker had everything he wanted, right at his side.

"If you insist," Slatewhisker murmured, letting his eyes drift shut.

---

Slatewhisker crept through the quickly darkening trees, all of his senses on alert to see if he was being followed. He made it to the SkyClan border unchallenged, and there he picked up his pace, striding through the thin strip of undergrowth that separated the edge of SkyClan's territory and the twoleg-place. A few moments later, he was approaching the abandoned twoleg den and ducking under the fence there. When he emerged into the yard, he lifted his tail up in greeting, but his excitement began to dim some when he noticed there was only one cat silhouette there, waiting for him.

"Pepper couldn't make it tonight," May said, trotting up to him. "His housefolk kept him inside again."

Slatewhisker let out a soft hiss of frustration before taking a seat next to his friend beneath the sharp, triangular shadow of the towering den.

"How many nights are they going to keep him locked in there?" he growled. "It's been so many days since I've last seen him!"

"I think the twolegs are worried about the rogues," May said. "They've been really strict with keeping him in since the attack."

Slatewhisker nodded grimly. The rogues that roamed the twoleg-place's streets had grown from a minor nuisance into a full-blown problem— for SkyClan and the local kittypets alike. When they had first started sniffing around SkyClan's territory a few moons ago, Fennelstar had believed that it would be simple enough to drive off. SkyClan got into several scraps with the rogues at the border, but Fennelstar's aggression had the opposite effect he'd hoped for. Instead of scaring the rogues off, they'd chosen to organize. They had established patrols now and started attacking any small SkyClan groups that dared enter the twoleg-place. There had even been casualties.

Fennelstar was furious at the loss of his warriors and the twoleg-place hunting grounds, but Slatewhisker struggled to empathize with his leader when so much of this disaster seemed to stem from his own paws. If Fennelstar had just treated the rogues like any other cat and tried to reason with them instead of jumping straight to attacking, SkyClan might not be in this situation right now.

Although it wasn't only SkyClan who was suffering; the kittypets and loners that lived in the twoleg-place weren't safe now either. They were harassed or attacked by the rogues whenever they dared roam around the neighborhood.

About a moon ago, Pepper had been one of the victims. He'd been on his way to the abandoned twoleg den to meet Slatewhisker when he had been pounced on by a group of them. Pepper had been injured, and ever since then, his twolegs tried their hardest to keep him confined to their den.

Slatewhisker gave a low growl.

He knew from what Pepper had told him that his housefolk cared about him, and so they must just be trying to protect him by keeping him inside. But, it didn't stop Slatewhisker's heart from feeling like it was constricted with brambles as more and more days passed with no sign of him.

"I should've been there when he was attacked," Slatewhisker growled, flexing his claws into the mossy ground. "If I hadn't been running late, then I would've heard it happening from here, and I would've been able to stop it before he got hurt. It's my fault that he stuck in the den now."

May brushed her tail down his flank.

"Stop it," she chided. "This isn't your fault. It's those bullies!"

Slatewhisker twitched his tail irritably. Whether it was his fault or not, it still meant that he couldn't see Pepper.

If only Fennelstar hadn't provoked the rogues!

"How did he seem?" Slatewhisker asked, glancing over at May.

Unlike him, with his duties to his clan always keeping him busy, May could roam the twoleg-place freely. She was able to visit Pepper at his den whenever she wanted.

Jealousy flared in his chest at the thought, but Slatewhisker did his best to stifle it.

Stop it. It's not May's fault that I'm stuck in SkyClan all the time.

"His wounds have all healed nicely," May said. "It doesn't even look like he was ever hurt now! Although we do have to talk through the window, so it's a bit hard for me to hear him sometimes."

May gave her tail an annoyed lash. "Then if we meow too loudly, his twolegs come out and chase me off! I think they might think I'm one of the cats that attacked him! Can you believe that?!"

"But, how is he?" Slatewhisker pressed, ignoring May's complaints. "Is he happy?"

Slatewhisker blinked, sudden dismay filling him.

How can he be, never being able to go outside?

May hesitated before giving a small shrug.

"He appears well to me," she said. "His spirits seem high enough, all things considered."

Slatewhisker's ears drooped as his belly sharply dropped. In some horrible, selfish way, the thought of Pepper being content hurt more than the thought of him being dejected.

Is Pepper truly happy, stuck in that den in the time? Never being able to feel fresh air on his whiskers? Properly speak to May? Or… or see me?

May pressed her flank to Slatewhisker's, pulling him out of his thoughts. He glanced over at her to see her peering up at him in concern.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

Slatewhisker's heart twisted.

The memory of Pepper's round, shining yellow eyes were the only thing he could picture in his mind right now. What he wouldn't give to see them again, and watch them light up as they noticed him.

"I— I—"

Slatewhisker looked away from May, the words shriveling up and dying in his throat.

"It's nothing. I just miss him, is all," he muttered down at the ground, glaring at his paws. "I have so much to tell him— so many things he's missed hearing from me about. And, I can't even visit him at his den! It's too far away for me to go there and back without my absence being noticed by the clan."

May tilted her head to the side. "Why not just do it anyway? Go see him!"

Slatewhisker shook his head helplessly, but May ignored him, giving his shoulder an insistent nudge with her muzzle.

"Come on!" she said. "Do it for my sake as much as yours. I don't think I've heard you purr once since he's been gone. If I have to listen to you lamenting for one more night, it's going to make me as miserable as you are."

Slatewhisker sighed and despondently flopped to the ground.

"I can't," he said. "The rogues are affecting SkyClan too. We're all really busy with them during the day, so if I was gone then, it would definitely be noticed. It's already hard enough for me to sneak away and get here at night with our increased patrolling."

May narrowed her eyes in confusion.

"And, why again does it matter if your clan-mates see you traveling here?" she asked. "It's not like you're trespassing on another clan's territory, so why is it a big deal?"

"We're just…" Slatewhisker said, waving his paw vaguely as his voice trailed off. "I'm not sure how to explain it because you're right that it doesn't make a lot of sense. But, my clan-mates don't trust cats that aren't like them— be it if they're from another clan, or if they're kittypets, or loners. There's already rumors about me in SkyClan. No one knows anything for sure, but cats have noticed me sneaking away. Or, I don't groom your scent off me completely. Or… I don't know. But, they say that I've been hanging out with kittypets."

"You are," May said bluntly.

Slatewhisker shot her a look.

"I know, but it looks bad," he insisted.

May scowled. "But why?"

Slatewhisker sighed. "I just told you why. And, it will look even worse now with the rogues causing so much trouble. If I'm caught, I'll be looked at with more than just suspicion. They might think I'm a traitor."

May scoffed.

"I think half of the codes you all follow are ridiculous," she meowed.

Slatewhisker shrugged helplessly.

"Maybe they are, but I can't—"

Slatewhisker's voice cut off abruptly at the sound of a snapping twig. May sat up straight, her ears pricked and her blue eyes wide as they scanned the dark area around them. Slatewhisker slowly and silently lifted himself back to his paws, positioning himself in front of May in case he needed to protect her.

"The rogues?" she asked in a voice barely above a breath.

"I hope so," Slatewhisker whispered back. "Better them than my clan-mates…"

A shadow ducked into the yard under the fence, and Slatewhisker unsheathed his claws, but he relaxed again when he caught a familiar scent. May's eyes brightened as she recognized him at the same moment Slatewhisker did.

"Paledusk!" May purred, bounding over to him.

Paledusk purred in return, gently touching his nose to her ear in greeting.

"Hello, love," he said as he pulled back, blinking down at her.

"Great StarClan, Paledusk! You nearly gave me a heart-attack," Slatewhisker snapped, shaking out his pelt as he padded over to them.

"I didn't know you'd be coming tonight," May added, tilting her head curiously.

"Unfortunately I can't stay," Paledusk rumbled. "I just came to collect Slatewhisker."

Slatewhisker's ears pricked.

"Me?" he said. "Is something wrong?"

"You're absence has been noted," Paledusk said, scowling when his attention turned from May to Slatewhisker. "Mother was asking for you."

Slatewhisker opened his jaws.

"Don't worry, I covered for you," Paledusk said with a dismissive wave of his tail. "But, with the number of long 'night-hunts' you've been on, and yet with such little prey you've been bringing back… cats were bound to start getting suspicious soon. And, you know that Mother has been more clingy since Father died."

"But, I have to—" Slatewhisker began.

"See if Pepper managed to get out. I'm aware." Paledusk's scowl deepened. "But, you're being reckless, brother. You can't keep coming here every night to see if Pepper was able to make it this time. The rogue trespassers are already setting the Clan on edge. And, you have more responsibilities to SkyClan now. Or, have you already forgotten that Doepelt is expecting your kits?"

Slatewhisker's stomach flipped, and he widened his eyes imploringly at Paledusk.

Why did he have to bring that up now?! He knows I haven't told May yet!

May's jaw dropped open in shock. She whirled around to glare at Slatewhisker.

"What?! You're having kits!" she said, her blue gaze hurt and heated. "Does Pepper know?! How could you? You'll break his heart!"

"I didn't go behind Pepper's back!" Slatewhisker meowed hotly, his ears burning and his stomach clenching at the accusation. "I would never do that! Once Doepelt brought it up to me, I immediately discussed it at length with Pepper. If he had been uncomfortable with it at all, I would've never agreed! I just haven't gotten the chance to tell him that Doepelt's expecting yet because I haven't seen him."

Slatewhisker shot Paledusk another sharp look.

Bird-brain! Why couldn't you have been more tactful in delivering the news to May?!

Paledusk stared back at him, his expression unreadable. May's ears flattened.

"Well why didn't I know until now?" she asked. "And, why are you even having these kits at all? Who is this cat? Doepelt?"

Slatewhisker shrugged helplessly again.

"I just found out that Doepelt was pregnant a little while ago, and I wanted to tell Pepper first," he said. "I promise that I was planning on telling you too. And, as for why, well Doepelt wanted to have a litter, and she asked me if I wanted to be the father. SkyClan could use more young cats…"

"And, also it'd make Slatewhisker appear more loyal to those who might question him," Paledusk added, supremely unhelpful. "Someone with a mate and kits in the Clan would be less likely to betray SkyClan."

May's gaze hardened again at Slatewhisker.

"So you've just been using her?" she growled.

"No!" Slatewhisker protested, his ears flattening. "I mean, Doepelt doesn't know about Pepper, obviously, but she knows that I— that I don't have any feelings for her. We're just friends, and she's alright with the arrangement! She just wanted to have kits. I've been transparent with both her and Pepper this whole time." Slatewhisker glared at Paledusk. "It's completely false to imply otherwise."

May hesitated for a moment.

"…Alright," she said finally, settling down some, although her tail still twitched.

Paledusk turned to Slatewhisker.

"We should get going," he meowed. "Birdstrike will start wondering where we are if it gets any later."

Slatewhisker kept glowering at him.

Of course Paledusk would suggest going now, after stirring up a hornets' nest by breaking the news about the kits without asking Slatewhisker.

Why does it so often seem that he enjoyscausing trouble?!

"Fine," Slatewhisker snapped, brushing past Paledusk.

"See you later, May," he added in a softer voice from over his shoulder.

Slatewhisker was grateful to see that May still nodded goodbye at him.

So that means that she's not terribly mad at me at least. Although I'm sure she'll still have a lot more questions the next time we meet.

Slatewhisker closed his eyes for a moment. He dearly wished that Pepper was here. Pepper would know how to explain the situation better than Slatewhisker could, and he'd be able to reassure May that he was okay with Slatewhisker siring Doepelt's kits.

Paledusk touched his muzzle to May's, and they murmured something to each other in soft voices before Paledusk turned and bounded after Slatewhisker to catch up as he ducked under the fence.

Slatewhisker's tail twitched as they made their way back into SkyClan woods, refusing to look at his brother even as Paledusk padded up to his side.

"What?" Paledusk asked bluntly, picking up on the irritation radiating off of his pelt in waves.

"It's not fair that I have to go back," Slatewhisker growled. "I haven't seen Pepper in so long! May's a loner who can hunt and fight and move her den wherever she pleases, so you get to see her whenever you want, but I'm stuck waiting on the rare chance Pepper gets out. And the rogues aren't hanging around to chase him off. And I'm also free to meet with him! It feels like it's impossible for us to ever be together."

"Well what did you expect when you broke the code and fell in love with a kittypet?" Paledusk asked, his voice cold and unsympathetic. "They're at the whim of their twolegs. Their entire lives revolve around them."

Slatewhisker bristled.

"Don't talk about Pepper like that," he snapped, glaring at Paledusk. "Isn't he your friend too?"

Paledusk blinked.

"Relax, Slate. Of course I like Pepper," Paledusk said, his mew softening. "But, you can't change reality."

Slatewhisker huffed out an angry breath.

"Well then maybe it's clan way of life that needs to change," he grumbled.

"The code is what keeps us alive," Paledusk argued, twitching his tail.

Slatewhisker glared at him.

"How can you say that when you have the same problem as me?" Slatewhisker growled. "Don't you love May?"

"Of course I do," Paledusk said smoothly, flicking his ears as if to toss away his accusation like a stray raindrop. "Look, you know I think some of the code is dumb too. But, the clans are stuck in their ways. I mean, pick any of our clan-mates for example— they won't change! Can you imagine what our mother would say if she knew about May or Pepper? Or if she even just found out you love another tom?"

The fur on Slatewhisker's shoulders bristled. He knew his brother was just suggesting a hypothetical, but for a fraction of a moment, it felt like a real threat instead. However, Paledusk continued before Slatewhisker had the chance to dwell on it.

"They wouldn't ever understand. So, have you ever thought that maybe this is for the best?" Paledusk asked.

Slatewhisker blinked.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

Paledusk turned to him, halting their journey through the woods. His green eyes were serious but also gentle as he gazed at Slatewhisker.

"Maybe you and Pepper should just go back to being friends," Paledusk meowed softly. "You two can hardly even see each other these days, and you missing him is distracting you from your duties. The clan already knows you and Doepelt and having kits together; you could see if you could have a real relationship with her. It'd get the clan off of your back, and may also bring you less heartache."

Slatewhisker blinked hard, a lump forming in the back of his throat.

"No. I can't do that to Pepper," he rasped. "And, I can't do that to myself. I love him. Besides, I have no idea if Doepelt would even want more than a friendship with me."

"But, you're miserable!" Paledusk exclaimed, his gaze widening sympathetically. "I can hardly stand to see you like this, Slatewhisker. I know you love and miss Pepper, but if you can never see him, then what's the point? You're just torturing yourself for no reason."

He's right. Slatewhisker thought bleakly, his ears flattening.

But, then almost immediately, another part of his mind rebelled against it.

How can I just let Pepper go?! Maybe the next time Pepper gets out, I can teach him how to defend himself from the rogues so his twolegs won't be so worried about him. Or, maybe Pepper can find a way to sneak out of his den. And, if all else fails, the rogues can't stay around forever, right?! Fennelstar is so angry with them right now, he'd happily die nine time over just to drive them out!

Paledusk lay his tail over Slatewhisker's shoulders supportively.

"You don't have to make a decision right now," he murmured when Slatewhisker didn't respond. "But, do try to think about it at least."

Why do things have to be this way? Slatewhisker thought desperately. Maybe if I could just explain things to the clan, they'd understand. Or maybe if I could just stop the rogues, then things could go back to the way they were before.

Slatewhisker clenched his jaw, and Paledusk studied his expression closely.

"I know that face," he warned. "Look, you can keep seeing Pepper if you want. You know I have nothing against that. I just want you to understand that the clan won't change and neither will the code. So, hoping for that will bring you nothing but more pain."

"How are you always so good at reading my mind?" Slatewhisker sighed, his shoulders sagging.

Paledusk purred and brushed his pelt against his side.

"It's because I'm your brother," he meowed. "And all I want is you to be safe and happy. Which means, whatever you decide, we have to keep this situation in the shadows. If we don't, things will just be worse for everyone involved."

Paledusk stared at Slatewhisker with intense green eyes.

"Promise me you won't do anything rash, Slatewhisker. Please," Paledusk said.

Slatewhisker sighed again.

"Alright," he said, the words dragged out of him reluctantly. "I promise."

Paledusk blinked at him.

"You know that I'm saying all of this because I just want what's best for you, right?" Paledusk asked.

Despite the annoyance Slatewhisker had felt towards his brother earlier, he still was able to force out a brief rumble of a purr.

"Yeah," he murmured. "I know."

---

Slatewhisker was sadly getting used to only one silhouette greeting him as he entered into the yard of the old twoleg den. This night, as expected, it was just May who trotted over to him and brushed her muzzle against his in greeting.

"How have you been?" she asked as she pulled back.

Slatewhisker shrugged. "You know— same old, same old."

May nodded. "Pepper sends his regards."

Slatewhisker's heart ached like an old wound that refused to seal. Sometimes his mind went back to that conversation he'd had with Paledusk, when he'd suggested that Slatewhisker try to move on from Pepper. During the times when the chances of ever seeing Pepper again felt truly bleak, Slatewhisker almost considered it.

But, then there were moments like this, where he felt the strength of his emotions, even if filtered through pain, and he knew he could never do it.

May's gaze flickered behind him.

"Is Paledusk coming tonight?" she asked, a hopeful edge entering her mew.

"Yeah. He's just going to be a bit late. He has a patrol to finish," Slatewhisker said.

He took a seat with a sigh and began to groom some of the fur on his side. A few fresh cuts twinged at the touch, but he gently rasped his tongue over them anyway to keep them clean. May's eyes widened as she noticed the claw wounds.

"Oh no. Was it the rogues?" she growled.

"No, actually. Not this time," Slatewhisker said, before nodding towards the cuts. "These are courtesy of Leafstorm, ThunderClan's deputy."

May's ears perked in surprise. "ThunderClan? What happened?"

Slatewhisker rolled his eyes.

"What always happens— we were fighting over the same strip of land that we always fight over," Slatewhisker said with a bitter snort. "The same pointless fight that we've had for generations, over and over."

May blinked in confusion, her head tilting to the side. "But why?"

"Fennelstar thinks SkyClan needs it. You've seen the destruction the twolegs have been causing lately, inching into the forest and taking more and more pieces of our territory. And, now with the rogues keeping our hunting in the twoleg-place to a minimum, Fennelstar is more convinced than ever that if SkyClan is to survive, we must have more territory," Slatewhisker explained. "SkyClan and ThunderClan have always fought, but things have gotten worse since Darkstar, SkyClan's leader before Fennelstar, gave away a big chunk of our territory. Fennelstar wants to reclaim it. It's been his burning drive ever since he took over as leader. I think since then, we've fought with ThunderClan over it at least once a season. Sometimes it's ours, sometime's it's theirs. Right now they control it."

Slatewhisker sighed, shaking his head. "I can't even count how many cats have died there, watering those trees with their blood," he muttered in a deeper tone. "Sometimes the fighting feels so futile. It will never end."

May's brow furrowed.

"Why don't you just leave then?" she asked.

Slatewhisker's eyes went round with shock.

"Leave? But where would SkyClan go?" he asked. "There's no other territory in the area big enough to sustain a clan."

May glanced at him sharply.

"I'm not talking about SkyClan, fuzz-brain! I'm talking about you," May said.

Slatewhisker's eyes somehow stretched even wider. "Me?!"

"Yes." May shot him an exasperated look. "Don't look so surprised. You're the one that comes here each time more weary, beat-up, and bitter than the last. Have you really never thought about it? You could leave all that fighting behind you and live like me! Only caring for yourself; free to roam where you please." May twitched her whiskers in self-satisfaction.

Slatewhisker narrowed his eyes.

"Free to roam where you please but always with my brother within your beck and call," he drawled in a dry tone.

May shot him a sharp glance, her blue eyes bright with a fierce mischief.

"Until your brother bores me," she said haughtily, but Slatewhisker knew there was no real threat behind her words. Any cat with sense could see how taken May was with Paledusk. "But if the way of the loner isn't for you, you could always live like Pepper. His housefolk sound kind."

"Live with twolegs?" he asked in shock.

The fur on Slatewhisker's nape lifted at the thought. He knew that Pepper cared deeply for his housefolk, and they took care of him well in return. But, could Slatewhisker get so used to always being surrounded by the huge, alien creatures? Living even in the same den as them? Slatewhisker still shied away from their touch when he roamed the streets with his friends— even as May allowed the twolegs to stroke her with their big, hairless paws.

"I don't know…" he muttered. Slatewhisker gave his ears a sharp shake. "But, besides, how could I leave my Clan after they've done so much for me?"

May's tail flicked.

"Done so much for you? Like ordering you to fight the same 'pointless' battle over and over?" she asked sharply.

Slatewhisker winced at May's derisive tone. He should not have been so careless with his words. May didn't fully understand what living in a Clan was like, so of course she'd take the least charitable interpretation of what he said.

"It's not like that," Slatewhisker muttered. "Yeah, I don't always agree with Fennelstar's decisions, but listening to our leader is a part of our way of life. It's the price we pay for the community of our Clan— we look out for each other. But, I'd lose all that if I left them and went to live with housefolk. Then I'd be trapped at the twolegs' whims just like Pepper."

May rolled her eyes.

"Are you really less trapped where you are now?" she asked. "Pepper traded his freedom for the safety and comfort housefolk provide him. You've traded your freedom to follow a bunch of codes you disagree with, and a leader you've never said a single good thing about. At least Pepper likes his housefolk and his home, even when they trap him inside. But, do you even like being in SkyClan?"

Slatewhisker stared at May wide-eyed.

What does she mean do I 'like' SkyClan? That's like asking do cats 'like' breathing! SkyClan is simply… a part of me. There's no changing that.

But you could change it, a quiet thought whispered from the depths of his mind. Cats have to breathe to live, but cats exist outside of SkyClan. Just look at the cat in front of you.

Slatewhisker shook his pelt like he was shedding cold rain water from his fur. He had to get it off before it had the chance to sink in and touch his skin.

"SkyClan is my home," Slatewhisker muttered, avoiding May's eyes.

From the corner of his vision, he saw her mouth open again, but Slatewhisker spoke before she could say anything. "Please, May, can you just drop it? Let's talk about something else."

May blinked at him.

"Well fine. If that's what you want," she sighed.

Several tense heartbeats passed by, and Slatewhisker still couldn't make himself look at her.

"I'm sorry," May said, finally breaking the silence. "I didn't mean to be pushy. I just want you to be happy, you know? You don't seem happy in SkyClan, and you seem to miss Pepper so much… But it's your life: your choice. Only you know what's best for yourself."

Slatewhisker remained silent for a few moments more, his stomach twisting into knots. Although her tone was gentle, each one of her words nicked him like a claw wound, until it felt like he was bleeding from dozens of cuts.

Do I know what's best for myself? Do I even have a choice? I didn't choose to be SkyClan— I just am.

Even though it hurts? that same quiet thought from before argued back. Even though you miss Pepper everyday?

"Can you not mention this conversation to Paledusk?" Slatewhisker murmured. "He's so loyal to SkyClan… I'm not sure… I don't think he'd understand."

May leaned over and touched her nose to his ear reassuringly.

"Don't worry, my lips are sealed," May said.

Slatewhisker shot her a look, searching her expression for sincerity. "Even though he's your mate?"

May met his gaze levelly.

"He may be my mate, but you're still my friend. I knew you long before I knew Paledusk," May said. "Whatever happens, I think you and I will always be friends."

---

The next time Slatewhisker pushed his way through the night-darkened undergrowth at the border of the twoleg-place, two familiar smells bathed his tongue. Slatewhisker inhaled sharply, his tail curling upwards in sudden joy at the unmistakable scent. Unable to contain himself, he shot forward, abandoning stealth as he sprinted the last few lengths to the decrepit twoleg den. As he exited the undergrowth, he realized that they must be just as impatient to see him, since the two figures were waiting outside the fence for once, facing the forest.

"Pepper!" Slatewhisker yowled, his heart overflowing with happiness as he spotted the white and black-flecked pelt.

Pepper sprung to his paws, a purr bursting from his throat as Slatewhisker nearly tackled him in his rush to headbutt Pepper's chest. A purr also thrummed through Slatewhisker as he twined his way around his mate. May watched on, her eyes half-closed in amused contentment at their enthusiastic greeting.

"StarClan, I can't believe it! You're really here!" Slatewhisker gushed, relief, joy, and shock all coursing through him. "I've missed you so much."

"I missed you too," Pepper said, rasping his tongue over Slatewhisker's forehead.

Slatewhisker pulled away to get a proper look at look at him.

"Are you alright? Did your wounds all heal?" he asked, some worry appearing and dampening his joy.

"I'm perfectly fine," Pepper reassured. "My housefolk took me to their twoleg healers, and they fixed me up quickly. No scars even!"

Slatewhisker exhaled in relief.

"But my housefolk have been way too protective since then," Pepper continued, his tail beginning to twitch as irritation darkened his expression. "They refused to allow me out no matter how much I asked and begged at the door. I even started clawing it, and they still didn't open it!"

"How did you even make it here?" Slatewhisker asked, blinking curiously. "I was starting to worry they would never let you out of the den again at all! It's been over a moon since I last saw you!"

Pepper's face brightened.

"It was actually all May's idea! She distracted them," he said.

"I yowled from the bushes in front of the house like my tail had been cut off," May spoke up, her whiskers twitching smugly. "They were totally fooled."

Pepper nodded along, his chest puffing out in pride. "Then when they went out to investigate, I darted between their legs and out the door!" Pepper then softened as he looked at Slatewhisker again. "I know that they'll be upset and worried about me, but it was worth it to get to see you."

Slatewhisker's heart filled with affection, and he pressed his muzzle to Pepper's.

"Thank you. Thank you both," he added with a glance at May. "I'm so lucky to have such a clever friend and mate."

May dipped her head, but brushed off his praise with a flick of her ears.

"Don't thank me too much yet," she said. "I don't know if the same trick will work twice."

Slatewhisker's heart dropped with sudden disappointment. He hadn't yet considered if the twolegs would be fooled another time if Pepper wanted to get out again.

"Lets not think about that yet," Pepper mewed gently. "We can worry about that problem if it happens. Maybe when I return uninjured and healthy tonight, they will understand that it's safe for me to go outside again."

Slatewhisker nodded, but on the inside, anxiety still whirled. Pepper was optimistic, but what if when he went back to his den, his twolegs instead redoubled their efforts to keep him locked away? Would Slatewhisker have to wait another moon to see him?

Or will it be two moons? Or will he be kept away, forever?

"Yeah," Slatewhisker said, even though his mind remained stuck on the despairing thoughts like a stubborn tick. "We still have the whole night together. Lets not talk about any of that ye—"

"Rogues!"

The sudden yowl drowned out Slatewhisker's voice and sent him rocketing to his paws, every hair on his pelt standing on end as the scent of SkyClan rushed in on the breeze.

Oh StarClan, I know that voice.

Horror and dismay flooded Slatewhisker as a shadow streaked from the bushes, heading directly towards May.

"Stop!" Slatewhisker yowled, darting forward.

May let out a surprised cry as the large, fluffy form bowled her over, snarling like a badger. May was clearly caught off guard by the attack, but she recovered quickly. She managed to wiggle out from underneath the SkyClan warrior's paws and leap into a fighting pose. Slatewhisker's stomach twisted as he saw his friend's claws glinting in the moonlight as she exchanged blows with her attacker.

"No, May!" Slatewhisker said, his desperation growing. "Stop fighting, both of you!"

Pepper stepped towards May, seeming to try to push her back. But, the instant Pepper entered into the attacker's reach, she switched targets. The SkyClan warrior slashed towards Pepper's face, her long, curved claws extended to their full, deadly length. Slatewhisker's heart clenched in terror.

"Enough!" he snarled.

He shoved his shoulder into the SkyClan warrior's side, knocking her away from Pepper and May before her blow could land. She was forced to stumble back a few steps before she regained her balance. Only then did Slatewhisker's mother look at him; he now the sole target of the fury in her green eyes.

"What is the meaning of this?!" Birdstrike snarled, her bushy tail lashing in a frenzy.

Slatewhisker didn't move his gaze off of her, fairly certain that she would lunge back towards his friends if he gave her half the chance.

"May, Pepper, you need to leave. Right now," Slatewhisker said in a low voice.

"But—" May began to protest from behind him.

"Now," Slatewhisker hissed between his fangs. "Please… go."

Slatewhisker waited until he heard the sound of their pawsteps fading behind him and a few moments longer, just to be safe they were long gone, before he abruptly broke eye-contact with Birdstrike. Slatewhisker jerked back towards the undergrowth and started to stalk off.

"Don't you dare walk away from me!" Birdstrike snarled, sounding more furious than he'd ever heard her. "Explain yourself, Slatewhisker!"

"I don't have anything to explain to you," Slatewhisker growled, his stomach rolling with betrayal and anger.

He heard a flurry of pawsteps behind him, and for a heartbeat, he thought his mother may actually pounce on him, but instead, she just rushed in front of him, halting him in his tracks. An inferno raged in her eyes, and her lips were curled back to display every fang.

"Treachery demands an explanation," she spat.

The bushes behind Birdstrike rustled. Slatewhisker's head jerked up, dread flooding through him at the thought of another clan-mate coming upon the scene. But, he relaxed a fraction as he recognized Paledusk's white-furred form. His brother blinked at him evenly.

"Mother and I were patrolling in the area and caught your scent," Paledusk said.

Paledusk blinked at him again, his ears angling back in a silent apology, and Slatewhisker heard the words he left unsaid.

I'm sorry. I tried to stop her.

Slatewhisker clenched his fangs together to stop his own reply from slipping from his jaws.

Did you really? Then why didn't you come out earlier? You could have helped me protect May and Pepper from her!

But, the cynical part of Slatewhisker's mind already knew the answer to that question— It wouldn't have done any good for Paledusk to out himself too and get in trouble along with Slatewhisker, right? Why should Paledusk also suffer under the brunt of their mother's rage, when he wasn't the one caught in the act?

Slatewhisker looked away from Paledusk, his eyes dropping down to his paws. He understood why Paledusk made his choice, even though it still stung.

If he had gotten in trouble with me, I'd at least have someone'ssupport right now.

"Well?" Birdstrike demanded as Slatewhisker's silence stretched on. "Speak! Tell me what good reason you have to be consorting with rogues!"

Slatewhisker shot her a burning glance. "My friends aren't rogues! They have nothing to do with the cats that SkyClan has been fighting."

"You foolish kit! They're all the same," Birdstrike hissed, shaking her head. "Rogues, loners, kittypets— you disgrace your family by associating with any of them! You're lucky that it was only your brother and I that found you! Aren't there enough rumors about your loyalty already?! I thought you'd started down a better path when you took Doepelt as your mate, but you've still been sneaking around here behind all of our backs!"

"Doepelt is not my mate!" Slatewhisker ground out between his fangs. "She doesn't even want me to be her mate! Ask her if you don't believe me! I fathered her kits because she asked me to, but that was it!"

"And, I shudder to think of what your father would think if he was alive to see this!" Birdstrike continued ranting as if he hadn't even spoken. "How could you so terribly shame his memory when Icerunner's body is still practically warm in the ground?"

Slatewhisker stiffened, sudden cold creeping up his muscles and dousing the burning flames of rage.

"I don't care what Father would think of me," he growled.

Slatewhisker had hardly thought it possible for Birdstrike to get anymore angry, but somehow additional fury flared to life in her eyes.

"How dare you?!" she spat, her pelt bristling out around her. "Icerunner was one of the most noble, loyal SkyClan warriors to have ever lived! He was going to lead SkyClan back to greatness after Darkstar rolled over and showed his belly to all the Clans of the forest! But now with Robinsong replacing him as deputy, Fennelstar has already started to become softer. Without Icerunner pushing him, Fennelstar doesn't have the fire to do what is needed to make SkyClan powerful again! And it was your little friends that snatched that chance away from us."

"I already told you, my friends had nothing to do with the attacks on SkyClan!" Slatewhisker snarled.

"But it was rogues who murdered your father!" Birdstrike spat.

Slatewhisker scoffed, the noise torn out of some dark, bitter place that he usually tucked deep down inside— only showing on occasion to vent to his friends, but never revealing to his clan-mates. But, he was too angry now to care to keep it hidden.

"It may be rogues that struck the blow, but Icerunner died at his own paw," Slatewhisker hissed, the words spilling out from a broken dam. "He underestimated them. He went in there knowingly outnumbered. Then he provoked them, when they'd already proved themselves to be dangerous. He thought he was invincible just because his enemies didn't have clan-blood! What killed Icerunner was his own willful arrogance."

"That's enough!" Birdstrike shrieked.

Her paw was a blur through the air, and Slatewhisker didn't even have a chance to flinch back. His ear burned as she raked her claws over it, and he instantly felt blood welling in the cuts. Slatewhisker froze, and Birdstrike did the same, her bloody claws still extended between them as she panted from emotion. Slatewhisker stared at her, shock that his mother had actually clawed him overpowering most of his anger. Birdstrike seemed stunned as well, her eyes stretched so wide, a ring of white appeared around her irises. With apparent effort, Birdstrike sheathed her claws and paced back a step.

"…That's enough," Birdstrike repeated, her voice a much lower rasp this time. She took a deep, shuddering breath. "No matter what, you are still my son, Slatewhisker. So, your brother and I will not breathe a word of this night to anyone. But, do not speak of your father like that again. I won't tolerate it."

Birdstrike exhaled sharply, turning away from him. "Now let's put this whole thing behind us. I'm sure you've learned your lesson. It's time to go home."

Without another word, Birdstrike headed into the forest, and Paledusk chose that moment to finally pad over to Slatewhisker.

"I'm sorry," Paledusk muttered in his ear.

"Save it," Slatewhisker snapped, glaring at his brother as anger flared back to life in his chest.

Paledusk had done a whole lot of nothing this entire time— just watching from the undergrowth as Birdstrike attacked their mates, and then not saying a peep as she tore into Slatewhisker, both figuratively and literally.

Paledusk watched him, his expression even. Slatewhisker didn't know how he could still look so composed after all that. He jerked his gaze away from Paledusk, anger bubbling just beneath his pelt as he followed Birdstrike into the woods and back to camp.

---

Dozens of different emotions stormed in Slatewhisker's heart as he stepped out of the undergrowth and followed his well-trodden trail around the outskirts of the abandoned twoleg den. His gaze flickered over the colored fragments of glass in the windows, and he took in the sharp peak of the den where he'd spent so many nights staring out into the distance. The sights comforted him, but Slatewhisker still hesitated when he reached the edge of the fence and new thunderpaths stretched out before him.

It wasn't uncertainty that stilled his paws— the directions for how to get to Pepper's den were seared into his thoughts. But still, Slatewhisker lingered.

He hadn't gotten to see Pepper since that night Birdstrike interrupted their meeting— it seemed like Pepper's twolegs were still keeping him shut inside the den as best they could. But, Slatewhisker had been able to meet with May, and he'd had her pass a message to Pepper.

Slatewhisker couldn't do this any longer. For so many moons, he had tried— he'd tried to be a good SkyClan warrior, a good friend, a good mate, a good son, and a good brother. But, it was too much. Now with Doepelt's kitting time growing closer, the burden of the act pressed all the more heavy on his back. It was crushing.

When his clan-mates congratulated him on their kits, how could he pretend that he was excited about become a father, when in reality, his mind was only occupied by Pepper? All he thought about was when he would get to see him again. Or, how he would see him again, with Birdstrike watching his every move like a hawk and the fighting with the rogues growing more intense, making Slatewhisker's trips to the border all the more risky.

Slatewhisker knew that he'd promised Paledusk that he wouldn't do anything rash, but he couldn't keep living this shadow-life. He wanted to be with Pepper. Really with him. Even if it meant leaving behind everything else he'd ever known.

Slatewhisker cast a final glance over his shoulder and back towards SkyClan's forest. The frost had come early this season, and the elders warned that meant a long, hard leaf-bare was on its way. A lump formed in the back of Slatewhisker's throat as he thought about all the cats that he was abandoning to face the cold without him— slipping away without even a proper goodbye. They were his friends, his family… But, he knew what his clan-mates would say if he told them the truth. No one would understand. It was probably better this way, for him to simply vanish. Then they could at least comfort themselves with the idea that'd he died a noble death somewhere.

Slatewhisker closed his eyes for a moment to compose himself.

He was hurting, but not from indecision. Slatewhisker may have not been able to keep his promise to Paledusk, but his brother had been right about one thing— the clans would not understand him, and they would not change. The only option he had was to leave.

May had passed Slatewhisker's decision onto Pepper. If Pepper was able to escape from his twolegs this morning, he was to meet him here, and they would go back to his den— their den— together. But, if Pepper couldn't make it out, Slatewhisker felt confident that he could find his way there alone. He had the directions seared into his mind and his heart.

Slatewhisker turned around, his gaze searching the twoleg-place ahead of him. There was no sign of his mate, but for the first time, that didn't bother Slatewhisker. Instead, his chest filled with hope and anticipation. He would see him soon.

I'm coming to you, Pepper.

The sun had just started to rise to mark the dawning of his new life, and Slatewhisker strode into the light.

"Where are you going?" a low voice said from behind him.

Slatewhisker jerked and spun around, his pelt bristling.

Paledusk was a few fox-lengths away, his face covered in the shadows cast by the abandoned twoleg den. It masked his expression, but Slatewhisker could see the glimmer of his green eyes from the shade.

"Oh, Paledusk," Slatewhisker said, breathing a sigh of relief, although his pelt still prickled from the scare. "What are you doing here?"

Paledusk took a step forward, letting the light fall fully onto his face. "I saw you leave the camp."

His green eyes bore into Slatewhisker's. Slatewhisker swallowed and found his tongue suddenly parched.

There was something odd in Paledusk's expression.

On the surface, he looked perfectly normal. Why didn't he look normal? His green eyes were bright, and his sleek white pelt was groomed to perfection as always. But, there was something about him Slatewhisker couldn't quite pin down. It was like seeing his brother's reflection in a pool. It was a perfect copy, but it lacked substance. There was no brush of solid fur— no real warmth or heat. He was… blank.

"What are you doing here, Slatewhisker?" Paledusk pressed. "It's morning. Far too late for you to be meeting with May or Pepper. Our clan-mates will notice that you're missing."

Slatewhisker's mouth was too dry to form the words to respond. Paledusk wouldn't stop staring at him. His eyes hadn't moved from Slatewhisker's—he hadn't even blinked—the whole time he'd been talking. But, Paledusk didn't need him to answer. It was clear from the tightness in his expression that he already knew.

"You're leaving aren't you?" he asked.

Paledusk's words came out eerie and soft, nothing at all like the deep, rich timbre he typically spoke with. That tenuous voice made Slatewhisker's gut twist in warning.

Something isn't right with him.

Slatewhisker felt the sudden urge to lie. He wasn't sure that Paledusk could handle the truth right now, not in this strange, fragile state-of-mind.

Slatewhisker opened his mouth, but no sound came out. As much as he wanted to, he couldn't deceive his brother straight to his face. He couldn't send Paledusk home, only for him to realize that Slatewhisker never came back after him… He would never forgive Slatewhisker for it.

"…Yes," Slatewhisker admitted, his whiskers drooping. "I'm going to be with Pepper."

An emotion finally crawled into Paledusk's expression— confusion.

"But, you can't," Paledusk said, his tail beginning to twitch.

Slatewhisker's brow furrowed. "Yes I can. You said it yourself: our clan-mates won't change. If I want to be happy, I have to go."

Paledusk took one sudden, aggressive step towards Slatewhisker, making him jerk in alarm, but Paledusk stilled himself just as quickly as he had sprung into motion.

"No," Paledusk said in that same quiet voice. "You can't leave. You're my brother. You have to stay in our clan."

Slatewhisker's heart ached. He sighed.

"I'm sorry it has to be this way," he said, unable to meet Paledusk's eyes. "But, I can't stay… You can still visit me though, right? It'll be okay."

Paledusk finally blinked at him. The confusion on his face began to dim as a fury as cold as the leaf-bare frost grew to replace it. A shiver ran down Slatewhisker's spine as Paledusk's eyes narrowed into green slits. He bared his fangs, a growl bursting from his throat.

"'Okay?' 'Okay?!' You coward!" Paledusk dug his claws into the ground as he vibrated with wrath. "You're going ruin everything! The whole clan is going to know that you ran off! That my brother is a traitor!"

Tension crackled in the air between them like lightning. Slatewhisker's pads grew damp with perspiration, and he shrank back from his brother. His chest suddenly felt tight with uncertainty, but he grasped desperately at the resolve that had brought him this far. The resolve that he finally had after so long to do something, for once in his sorry life.

Slatewhisker lifted his chin. "I don't care what any of them say about me anymore."

"Idiot!" Paledusk snarled, tail lashing. "Of course you wouldn't care what they say after you run away! This isn't about you. This is about me. You're ruining me! My reputation. Brother of a kittypet." He spat the final word like a curse.

Slatewhisker stared at him, anger, fear, and confusion battling within him.

"What's wrong with you?!" Slatewhisker asked, his claws unsheathing reflexively in the face of Paledusk's aggression. "You never seemed to care about Pepper being a kittypet before!"

"Pepper is a nobody, who no-one knows or cares about," Paledusk spat, pacing. "You on the other paw—" Slatewhisker watched with a wide, shocked gaze as Paledusk began circling him like a hawk, a predatory gleam in his eyes. "—you're a SkyClan cat, my kin. And, I won't let you do this to me."

Slatewhisker bared his teeth defiantly, but his panicked heart pounded against his ribs.

He'd never seen Paledusk like this before. He'd always known his brother was prone to bouts of anger or callousness, sometimes even for seemingly no reason. But, those always faded as quickly as dew on a hot, green-leaf morning, and then he was back to his normal, charming self.

This though was something else. A specter of pure rage now wore the pelt of his brother.

"I'm going," Slatewhisker growled, his blood drumming in his ears. "And, you can't change my mind."

Paledusk curled his lip up, fangs gleaming pearly in the morning light.

"So be it," he growled.

Paledusk exploded at Slatewhisker without warning.

Slatewhisker yowled as he bowled him over, the claws of Paledusk's hind-legs raking down his side repeatedly, yanking out fur and flesh. They tumbled, and Paledusk ended up on top, his claws buried deep in his shoulder fur.

Slatewhisker's heart twisted in sickening dread as he gazed up at Paledusk with wide, horrified eyes.

"Stop it!" Slatewhisker hissed, his fore-pares pressed against Paledusk's chest. "I won't fight you. You're my brother!"

He grappled with Paledusk, but his efforts to push him off were futile— Paledusk had him pinned firmly to the ground. Their gazes connected.

Paledusk looked at him with empty eyes. It was as if this moment was the first time they'd ever met, and they shared none of the lifetime of memories Slatewhisker had of the two of them together.

"Then you're even weaker than I thought," Paledusk snarled.

His fangs flashed towards Slatewhisker's throat, and instinct took over.

Slatewhisker tucked his chin to protect his neck, and Paledusk's teeth instead met his left eye. Slatewhisker yowled as Paledusk's fangs punctured the sensitive flesh, his head filled with sudden stabbing pain. Half his vision went dark as the nauseating scent of blood filled his nostrils, and Slatewhisker slumped limply against the ground.

A shrill ringing noise echoed in Slatewhisker's ears, over and over again. His breathing came out in short, panicked gasps. The only coherent feeling was pain.

Paledusk withdrew, stepping off of him, and he watched with a chilling sort of curiosity as Slatewhisker twitched and panted on the ground. Paledusk's gaze flickered back and forth from the ring of white showing around Slatewhisker's one shocked eye, to the other one, a managed mess of blood and gore.

Shock won over the pain in Slatewhisker's mind, turning him numb. Instead of agony, his mind instead chose to focus on the sensation of blood running through his cheek fur.

"Get up," Paledusk said in a cold voice.

The most Slatewhisker could manage to do was laboriously roll over, dragging his legs back underneath him.

A paw came slamming down on his head, claws raking down his muzzle, and Slatewhisker screamed as they slashed through the carnage that had already been done to his face. Slatewhisker collapsed back to the ground, and Paledusk prowled around him, watching for any sign of moment.

"Get up," Paledusk growled.

Slatewhisker didn't obey this time.

His chest heaved as shock transform to detachment. This couldn't really be happening. Certainly not to him, by his own brother.

That's it. This isn't real. This isn't happening.

Slatewhisker closed his good eye, trying to wake up from the nightmare. But, the shock and hurt didn't fade, and he didn't open his eyes to find himself curled up in his nest.

Then, some sort of primitive instinct, which cared neither for the facts that Slatewhisker had just lost an eye, nor that he was being mauled by his own brother, managed to pierce through the fog in his mind.

Move, it ordered. Survive.

Slatewhisker ground his fangs, grasping desperately for it. His focus was weakened with pain and shock, but he managed to cling to the instinct. It was the only way he would live through this. Slatewhisker took a deep, trembling breath and summoned his strength.

As Paledusk circled him again, Slatewhisker suddenly surged to life. He sprung upwards with as much speed and might he could muster, slashing for Paledusk's face.

His paw made solid contact. Paledusk hissed as Slatewhisker's claws sliced through the flesh of his cheek, ripping red lines of blood through his sea of perfect white fur. Paledusk stumbled backwards in surprise, and Slatewhisker lunged around him, his heartbeat already hammering in preparation to send his paws fleeing through the twoleg-place.

He made it two strides before Paledusk tackled him.

Paledusk's claws latched onto his back as he pinned him to the ground again. He snarled as he sunk his fangs into each of Slatewhisker's ears in turn, shredding them. Slatewhisker hardly felt the pain underneath the burst of bright panic that exploded in his chest.

He bucked and writhed, but he couldn't throw Paledusk.

A low growl rumbled through Paledusk the whole while. He wasn't cold and detached now. It was as if Slatewhisker fighting back had finally made it personal.

Slatewhisker whipped his head to the side, trying to snap at the paw digging into his shoulder. Paledusk used his other paw to hit him hard against the newly blinded side of his head.

Stunned, Slatewhisker collapsed back against the ground, but Paledusk seemed to know better than to toy with him this time. In a barrage of seemingly never-ending attacks, Paledusk began to chip away at him. Slatewhisker managed to stumble back to his paws a few times, but each time, Paledusk was there, slamming him back to the ground, shredding his flesh into ribbons and snarling as he clawed his body apart, piece by piece.

Soon, Slatewhisker had no more energy left to fight. The heartbeats dragged on. Slatewhisker flinched as claws sliced through his flesh again and again, but sensation was dimming. Each blow now just felt like a dull thump, regardless how much skin Paledusk carved away or the amount of blood that spurted out of Slatewhisker.

Splotches of black floated in his vision, the world fading in and out. Some part of him knew that blood loss would pull him fully unconscious soon, and death would follow not long after.

It could've lasted for eons more or just one heartbeat, but finally, the blows stopped. Slatewhisker's vision came into focus one last time to rest on the blood-spattered paws that stood in front of him. They were so thoroughly soaked, no white shown beneath the layer of red. Paledusk hesitated as if contemplating landing a final blow, or just letting nature take its course as Slatewhisker's heart pumped the last drops of blood from his body.

Slatewhisker's one remaining eyelid drooped to await the end.

As the final dregs of his strength drained away, the world turned into a series of barely coherent flashes between the ever growing presence of darkness.

There was a strange sound at the edge of Slatewhisker's dying hearing.

Something or someone was coming.

The blood-red paws were gone.

A white and black mottled face stared at him instead, yellow eyes wide with anguish and horror.

"Stay with me Slatewhisker! I'm going to get help! Please! Just hold on!"

Pepper.

Sorrow pierced Slatewhisker's heart. Instead of their bright future together, this would be the last memory of him he'd ever have.

I'm sorry.

His eye closed, and the world faded to nothingness.

---

The kittypets had finished recounting the tale, but Frostmask just sat in stunned silence. She didn't think she was capable of doing anything else as she processed everything they'd told her— everything that filled her with disgust and dread and horror, but oddly not as much surprise as she expected.

Frostmask's jaw clenched in a grim realization.

I've seen it before— his true nature, in flashes… I just never understood the depths of it. But, how could I, when his own brother was blind to it until the end?

Fear and resignation settled in the pit of Frostmask's stomach. It was everything she'd feared about Paledusk, but also so much more. Bile rose in the back of her throat, threatening to make her sick. She felt like a mouse that had woken from a long sleep to realize that she'd been sharing a nest with a snake.

Sedgestar was right about my father… He's been right all along. StarClan, I've been so stupid!

Frostmask turned to Salt, meeting his remaining eye. She saw it now. The brothers' irises were the same vibrant green, but there was a harshness to Paledusk's gaze that his lacked.

"Then you are Slatewhisker," she rasped finally. "My kin."

He dipped his head.

"I was Slatewhisker, but I'm just Salt now," he replied. "It's better for Slatewhisker to have died that day. That way, no one comes looking for me."

"How did you survive?" she asked softly, staring at his scars with a new horror.

Salt shot a fond look down at his mate.

"Pepper saved me," he said softly.

Pepper shook his ears. "All I did was go get my housefolk."

"But your injuries…" Frostmask's gaze drifted over the crater in his face.

Salt shrugged. "I know. Even I don't know how I lived, honestly. I'd been convinced that I would wake in the next life, but twolegs healers are powerful. All I know is one moment, I'm bleeding out on the thunderpath, and the next I'm in a strange twoleg den. I was trapped in a box, but in a lot less pain than I was before."

Salt glanced over at Pepper.

"I have trouble remembering what came afterwards, but I do know I was frightened," he admitted. "The healer's place smelled like all kinds of injured or sick animals, although the twolegs there were kind to me. After some time, Pepper's housefolk came and got me, and then they took me back here to him."

Pepper leaned against his side, giving Salt's shoulder fur a few gentle licks as if to wash away the bad memories. Salt exhaled in deep, shaky breath and pressed his face against Pepper's.

Frostmask hesitated for a moment. "Did you ever see May again?" she asked. "After Paledusk…"

Salt clenched his jaw, shaking his head. "Once I'd healed enough, I was so afraid that Paledusk would find me, or hurt Pepper, we never went back to our abandoned twoleg den or dared venture into the forest to look for her. We had no idea what happened to May, until you told us. I don't know why she never came back here to Pepper's den. Paledusk must have told her something, or done something, to keep her from visiting him."

"Paledusk said that you were dead," Frostmask muttered. "That the rogues killed you. That's what he told SkyClan at least."

Salt rumbled a bitter purr that contained no trace of humor.

"I can't say I'm surprised," he said.

Frostmask nodded before she suddenly felt a lump form in the back of her throat. A terrifying new possibility had just occurred to her.

"You don't think that May knew that Paledusk—" she whispered in horror, but Salt cut her off by shaking his head vehemently.

"No. I don't think May knew a thing about what Paledusk was really like," Salt said with a growl. "She was a good cat."

Pepper nodded in agreement. "She would've been gone in an instant, if she knew the truth."

Frostmask relaxed, her fears calming. Salt stared at her in silence for several long heartbeats, his green eye round and mournful.

"I'm sorry that we weren't able to warn May," he rasped finally. "Paledusk was right about one thing at least. I am a coward. Instead of trying to help her, I spent my time hiding here in this house. If I had tried to find her, I could've maybe… Maybe she'd still be alive. Maybe your littermates would be too."

Frostmask swallowed around the lump in her throat, her heart twisting. Salt dipped his head in grief, but when his eye drifted back up to Frostmask a few moments later, his gaze had hardened into flint.

"It may be too late for me to make it up to them, but I can ensure you don't make the same mistake your mother and I did." Salt bared his fangs, a deep growl rumbling in his throat. His body trembled, although from fear or anger, Frostmask couldn't tell. "You came here looking for answers about your parents, so here they are: Never underestimate Paledusk. He doesn't think or feel things like the rest of us do, so he won't hesitate to do something that you believe is unthinkable. The only thing he cares about is himself, and if he's told you anything otherwise… it's a lie."

---

AN: Ahhhhh and here we are. This is one of those chapters that I've had written (in some form since it evolved a bit with time) for YEARS, so it's a little crazy that we are finally here. This is also the longest chapter I've ever written! Thank you all for sticking with me (and Frostmask!) through all of this! 3