The school bag is heavy. The road is so long. Manuela would have loved not to go to school. But maybe it was all a coincidence yesterday. Maybe they really had lost their way, as Berti had said in the evening. Maybe they were really looking for Lela. She should have waited. But if she were honest, she felt that she had been left deliberately, perhaps secretly laughed at the fact that she was always doing gymnastics there, so that Eva had the roundabout at her disposal, which she didn't want to know anything about. Maybe Eva told the story to the other girls too. That was easily possible. And everyone would laugh at her. Lela only wanted one thing: to sink here, in the middle of the pavement and not, just not have to go to school. Above all, she was afraid of the cheeky glow in Eva's eyes. Of the mocking laughter that was so natural to her. But Eva was hiding. Only when walking home did Lela see from afar for a moment her red dress disappeared around the corner and felt a sharp pain in her chest.
Aunt Luise and Uncle Ehrenhardt left, taking with them the excited festive mood that visits always bring. Dad always came home gloomy. Most meals were silent. Sometimes the parents spoke English together, so that the children would not understand. Dad was on duty a lot. Even in the evenings he was seldom at home, and even then he was busy at his desk, and everything had to be quiet. Mother went to church a lot.
One day, Berti didn't come home from school. They waited to have lunch, but he didn't come. When inquiry was made at the school, they said he had been sent home at ten o'clock in the morning because of a headache. The unrest in the house increased. Lela ran to all sorts of people where Bert had friends. He had not been seen anywhere.
When she came home, Berti was lying in bed in the dark room. Mother was with him. Lela should go quietly, she was told. Berti had fallen on the school playground and hit his head. He had been sent home, but Berti had not found the way. He had gone to church where confirmation classes were usually held, and the sexton had accompanied him home.
Berti is said to have a concussion. He fantasizes, says Sofie. Berti is lying in mother's bed. Mother is with him. Lela is not allowed inside. Dad comes home for a moment and leaves. Mother stays with Berti. A sofa is carried in; she will sleep there. Mother doesn't come out for dinner either. Lela is sitting all alone at the big dining table. The soft eggs in the cup are getting cold. Mechanically she chews a ham sandwich.
The room is large and high. The lamp on the table gives little light. Thoughtlessly, she slides down from her chair and steps outside the door. Six steps lead into the courtyard. Vine leaves grow along the stairs. Lela sits down on the steps. She has the feeling that everything is not quite real. The dry tops of the acacias in the courtyard shake and throw down tiny leaves.
Mr Girod sweeps the cortyard. With his brown, knot-covered old man's hands, he parted the vine leaves that separate Lela from him. He whispers to her hoarsely, "Est-ce qu'il a mal, le petit ?" (Is he in pain, the little one?)
Lela is startled. But happy that someone is speaking to her, she answers him kindly in French, "Yes, I think he is very ill."
And Monsieur Girod slowly moves away, muttering to himself, "Ah, quelle misère, pauvre Madame, quelle misère !" (Ah, what misery, poor Madam, what misery!)
The days crept along grey and tough. Eva had no eyes for Lela. There was not even a greeting between them. No inquiry was made about Berti, no greeting was to be passed to him. Lela was loitering around the house. In the kitchen, in the stable, in the yard. Dad was always in a bad mood. Sometimes he shouted loudly at the stable boy. Once even at mother. Berti was getting better, only slowly. Every now and then Lela was allowed to go in to him. But Berti was so sensitive. Light hurt him, and he couldn't stand noise. Mum did not leave his bed. She was wearing a white apron. Above the bed hung a black crucifix with a white saviour on it.
Mum will go away with Berti. Grandma will come. Frau Käte discusses the matter with Lela as if she were an adult.
"Berti must go to the country. He must recover."
"Far away?"
"No, not at all. You can come and visit us with Dad or Grandma. It is very nice of Grandma to she come here. The long journey . . ."
Manuela nods a silent "yes" to everything.
A terrible, heavy fear settles on her chest. Mother wants to leave, and she is supposed to stay behind. She is left alone.