A/N: I wrote this in June, because I was a bit bored and ALSO because of the tumblr interactions that goes "You should be addicted to shutting the fuck up" "You wanna fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid", like it will never not make me laugh. This is very quirky horny lol I call this the B5 (booth/brennan bar bathroom bang)

The Jeffersonian Telegraph

I. Bad Idea, Right? (It involves 5 shots of Tequila)

"Bones," Booth said in a low voice, leaning in ever so slightly towards her. He could definitely feel the effects of the shots of whiskey he'd downed starting to take effect. He was feeling a little lightheaded- the tiniest bit dizzy, and his stomach felt warm. He felt glad he hadn't driven there. They'd both desperately needed to unwind, after letting Epps off death row.

He took a look at the woman sitting next to him. They'd still been warming up to each other, and while Booth still found her to be mildly irritating at times, he also greatly admired her and her team's work. She was staring at his face, seemingly lost in thoughts, slowly sipping on an Old Fashioned, an unreadable expression on her face. He hadn't kept track of how many of those she'd had, but he knew it had to be a lot, because, while she'd bragged about her high alcohol tolerance- after all, she'd drank many various, more concentrated types of alcohol 'in the pursuit of scholarly research'-, her cheeks were flushed crimson and her eyes were a little glassy.

She'd been pissed at him, after Amy had revealed to her what he's said about her 'mania for the truth'- launching into a tirade about how there was nothing remotely maniacal about wanting to know all the facts before sending a man off to death row. He really didn't want to hear it- he hadn't meant it in a bad way, and part of him wondered if she was doing it on purpose, just to rile him up. He'd always known better, though. Dr. Temperance Brennan was simply a very passionate woman.

The alcohol was definitely taking over his mind, because his mouth seemed to move before his brain could even register it- the last time they'd gotten together, she'd talked about the effects of ethanol, and alcohol dehydro... genenis... Or something. He couldn't remember, nor did he really give a shit. He wasn't a chemist or a neurobiologist. He began again, "You know, Bones-"

"Hey, don't fucking call me that," she interrupted, sending yet another glare towards him, and he knew she had to be fairly intoxicated, because she usually refrained herself from swearing unless it was necessary, "Or I might just have to start calling you Seeley," she said, smirking at him.

Her lips were parted ever so slightly, pink, glossy, and oh-so-fucking inviting, and Booth momentarily felt annoyed by how aroused he was starting to become. "Now is not the fucking time, dude," He told himself as he shook his head, ridding himself of the thoughts. He and Tessa had broken up a while ago- it had been mutual, but still, hiss bubbling up sexual frustration had him feeling like a horny teenager on prom night.

Still, he decided to completely ignore her, "Bones, you know," he started again, ever slowly tilting his head as she sent a glare his way- he was more than happy to get her all riled up, honestly-, "I really think you should be addicted to shutting the fuck up, sometimes."

Brennan stopped dead in her tracks, her mouth opening and closing like a fish in disbelief as she processed the words he'd just said to her. She regained her composure, and raised an eyebrow, leaning closer to Booth. She smirked at him when she was close enough to hear him breathe- and most importantly, to hear his breath hitch as his eyes darted towards her lips.

"Yeah well," she began, "You wanna fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid," She spat out, daring him to. She got even closer to him, and tilted her head, licking her lips. Booth's eyebrows shot up- he really hadn't expected that from her. If anyone would have been to break the tension between them, his money would have been on himself- not that he would gamble on this... Or at all. He'd been through the program, after all.

"Oh yeah, Bones? What if I do?" He said, feeling emboldened by the fact that he wasn't the only one who wanted this. Their first case had been proof enough, but after that, he hadn't known where to stand. He didn't dare to ask- he'd barely gotten her to agree to work with him again after they'd worked together for the first time, and he hadn't felt like swinging at a hornet's nest that was Temperance Brennan by asking unwanted questions about their past near-involvement. Besides, there was Tessa at the time.

"Alight then," Brennan narrowed her eyes at him, "Do it." she said, as fiery as she'd been during the Cleo Eller case, when he'd snuck up on her at the gun range.

"Your hypothesis is that squints don't solve murders and cops do.. . Prove it. Be a cop." She'd said, her face millimeters from him. Back then, he'd resisted the urge to pin her against the wall and by reciting some saints in his head- now, well, he wasn't so sure.

"Are you going to kiss me only to take a cab and leave me in the rain again? Is that what gets you off?" He said, referring when he'd made the mistake of getting her drunk in order to make firing her easier- and it had only made it a thousand times worse. He wasn't going to take that risk. "Nah, Bones. I don't believe you- actually, I call bullshit. You're just yanking my chain," he squinted at her.

"Well," she said, narrowing her eyes at Booth, "Maybe I can show you what actually gets me off, Special Agent Seeley Booth," she said in a sultry voice, "Or maybe you can find out by yourself," she said, brushing her lips against his. She had a hungry, nearly feral look in her eyes as she grabbed him by his tie and smashed their lips together. The kiss started out chaste enough, but and had evolved into something frenzied. Booth's mouth was warm against hers, and she tilted her head slightly as he begged for entrance with his tongue, which Brennan gladly granted. He groaned when Brennan grabbed him by the collar in an attempt to pull him closer.

"Your place or mine?" Booth asked in between kisses, to which Brennan pulled away and wiggled her eyebrows.

"What about the bathroom?" She whispered in a sultry voice into his ear, sending shivers down his spine.

"Bathroom it is," he said in a low voice, before grabbing her hand and leading her there in a hurry. Thankfully for them, the unisex bathroom was empty as they arrived. They entered one of the five stalls, closing it behind them. Booth had Brennan pinned against the stall door in record time, planting a searing kiss on her lips that made him delirious with want and dizzy with hunger. She yanked on his tie with one hand, pulling him even closer. He'd admit the possibility of getting caught was thrilling- that definitely wasn't like him, but he was drunk on desire- and on alcohol. He could let his judgment be clouded for a bit... It couldn't possibly hurt.

His fingers hurriedly worked on Brennan's blouse, undoing the buttons in record time as she undid his. He stared down at her flushed, bra-covered chest and felt a rush of blood to her cock- god, she really was the most beautiful fucking thing ever. The two became a tangled mess of limbs as Booth's mouth traveled down to Brennan's neck, softly sucking and applying pressure at the right spot, causing Brennan to whimper loudly.

"Shh, Bones," Booth whispered against her neck, "Unless you want us to get banned from this place, and have to explain to all your squints why we can't ever come back here."

"Don't tell me how loud I can be," She hissed. She sounded mildly outraged, but the way her pupils were dilated and the way her nails were digging into his chest were indicative of something entirely else. "Maybe you're the one who should shut the fuck up, don't you think?"