AN: this is kind of a character analysis? it's cam kinda falling for brennan and being mad about it. Yes, I had Lacy on a loop while writing this, because I was in this exact situation once, except I didn't even know I liked girls which made it so much WORSE... Middle school me was a disaster. capital D
Also this isn't like a hate thing, I LOVE Cam and I think she's amazing (like; genuinely I will DIE defending this woman), but in early S2, she was like... in bad boss mode I fear HAHA I loved it personally (even though I didn't enjoy her almost firing Brennan...)
Lacy, Oh Lacy...
Skin Like Puff Pastry,
Aren't You The Sweetest Thing On This Side Of Hell?
Cam stares at Dr. Brennan as she exits the platform, rubbing her eyes as she tries to make sense of the Anthropologist's outburst. They've started off on the wrong foot, clearly, and the beautiful doctor is clearly not making any effort to diffuse the tension that has been lingering between them ever since she came back from the lab. In hindsight, Cam realizes she isn't that much better- it seems to be a game of one-upmanship between the two women, but Cam, despite now being her hierarchic superior, knows very well she doesn't have the upper hand in this scenario.
Her stomach is in knots- it has been ever since she's met the other woman at that crime scene a few weeks earlier. It's definitely the jitters, she's told herself every time her heart rate picks up as she stares at the brilliant doctor, despite the fact that she's never been the kind of person to get nervous over meeting new people, at least not since she was a pre-teen. She's gotten fairly good at maneuvering social situations over the years, because practice makes perfect (anda after all, isn't it how she got this job?), but she still finds herself stumbling upon her words when addressing her.
She's only heard good things about the world-renowned forensic anthropologist that is Dr. Temperance Brennan from her subordinates: Zack seems to be enamored with her- at first, she wonders about the nature of his feelings for his mentor, before realizing she might have misinterpreted the situation when she catches Angela stifling a laugh at her wide-eyed stare. She and Dr. Hodgins only seem to have positive things to say about her, and Angela quips about the fact that Dr. Brennan is essentially the Queen Bee of the Jeffersonian, on top of being a novelist. Cam simply nods and changes the subject, because she's never been the crime novel type.
Cam finds herself intrigued as to how Brennan finds the time to write best-selling novels and do consulting work on top of being the best in her field.
Cam knows what it's like- after all, she was once the youngest Coroner in New York City, and she's always taken pride in excelling at her job- she knew she could be nothing short of. She's always known how unfair this was: years of dealing with belittling, insults, and being underestimated by just about everyone until she could prove herself have proven her that. It's simply that after a long day with her hands stuck in a dead person's chest cavity (and other cavities, but in times of doubt she'd rather plow ahead and ignore the pain because there is no difference between like and some goddamned football game, except for the pay), she is simply more the type to unwind in a warm bath with a shitty romance-slash-sex book in hand rather than to sit down and write about all the atrocities mankind is capable of committing.
In the end, she finds herself a little more admirative of Dr. Brennan than she'd like to admit. Her colleagues talk about her as if she's made of starlight and is the reason the Earth is spinning on its axis.
Seeley goes on and on about her, and she doesn't miss the way his eyes twinkle whenever she is so much as brought up in the same room as him. She doesn't really question the nickname he's apparently given (after all, she is the bone expert), although she can't help but feel a bit of melancholy when she racks her brain for the last time someone who claimed to simply be her colleague gave her an endearing nickname. Her mind immediately makes a mildly salacious joke about 'boning', and she immediately shakes it off- not the time nor place, Camille.
A crime scene tech makes an offhand comment about the scene being much more peaceful without Dr. Brennan being present to shout instructions, and when he says she was being a 'bitch' anyway, Seeley almost rips him a new one- even by his standards, Cam can only understand. It's also the first time she ever hears anything negative about the forensic anthropologist, but she doesn't give it much thought- if Seeley is willing to defend her, that's good enough. She's always trusted his judgment.
Zack is clearly not the only one enamored with her, because Seeley seems to be so much farther gone. She can tell, because she knows him well enough, and his smile had never quite reached his ears when they were together. This- this is different. She'd known them to be an excellent team- she's heard it many times, in many terms, from many people, but she can't help but feel a twinge of nervousness when he warns her about Dr. Brennan.
"You know, Bones… She's… She's very focused. And you probably shouldn't really take anything she does personally. When we started working together, she would barely give me the time of the day," he smiles a little as he seems to reminisce about their beginnings as partners.
"And now?" Cam inquires, sending him a mildly incredulous look as she crosses over her chest.
"Now… We manage," he says, a soft smile gracing his lips, "But I'm delightful and charming, it was clearly just a matter of time before she started liking me... You, on the other hand, well, you might not be so lucky," he shrugs.
"Hey!" She exclaims, playfully slapping his arm, "I can be delightful and fun too!"
"Yes, but I know you Camille, and you are gonna get all sarcastic with her… Bones doesn't really do that."
"I thought I had told you not to call me Camille, Seeley," she takes a step closer to him.
"Then you should drop the Seeley… Camille," he says, taking one towards her.
Cam chuckles and tells him it can't possibly be that bad because she's worked with her fair share of difficult people, and she can most definitely deal with Dr. Brennan's alleged whims.
The sketch artist at the last facility she'd worked at always came to work with red-rimmed eyes and his smell reeking of cheap bourbon. She can easily put two and two together, and if she hadn't been able to, she supposes that the time he'd almost emptied the contents on his stomach right on her autopsy table after what she supposes was one too many morning drink would have done it in- the Jeffersonian Medico-Legal lab was certainly an upgrade. Angela seems friendly, and is fun to be around, from what she's seen. Dr. Hodgins is so clearly taken with her, and Cam raises an eyebrow and chuckles as he seems to stumble upon his words a bit whenever she looks him in the eye.
Seeley lightly pokes her in the arm, grinning as he tells her it's so much worse than she can possibly imagine, but that it's what it makes so much better.
She sees Dr. Brennan for the first time while she's stepping on the crime scene- a train and car crash, and she is barely given the time of day. She can't see much because it's extremely dark outside, and there isn't much visibility save for the light emitted by the red and blue-hued sirens surrounding her. She finds herself bending down and squinting a bit at the body.
Seeley introduces them, and Cam's stomach tightens a bit when Dr. Brennan's strikingly blue eyes lay on her.
She simply chalks it up to anticipation, but can't help but feel a little pang in her chest when Brennan ignores her extended hand and stalks away to the remains. She sends the other woman one lingering look, trying to figure out how to make sense of any of it, but instead focuses her attention on something that actually makes sense to her.
It reminds her a bit of her first day as a coroner, except she's so much self-assured now. She knows Dr. Brennan probably would have chewed her up and spat her out, had they met earlier into her career, but she likes a challenge.
The word 'direct' would be an understatement to describe Dr. Brennan. She doesn't seem to get most jokes, is downright hostile at the beginning, and thinks she has entire control over the lab. Cam knows that she's technically not that far off, but she can't help but remind her that, on paper, she's the one running the show.
She feels slightly petty and competitive for feeling the need to say it out loud every few minutes as if she's reminding herself of it more than anyone else, but she can't help but feel quite victorious when Brennan simply stalks away when it dawns up her that she's not in the right- Cam can acknowledge that she's not in the wrong either as Zack's voice pops up in her head ('Not being wrong is not the same as being right, Dr. Saroyan'), but her musings are interrupted by that nagging little voice that reminds Cam that everyone here loves Brennan.
Like genuinely loves, would-throw-themselves-in-from-of-a-moving-train-for-her love. She's exaggerating a bit, and she knows it, but she likes a good hyperbole, and it doesn't hurt to indulge the dramatic part of her that she usually keeps well hidden under layers of cynicism, sarcasm, and professionalism.
But she knows everyone at the lab is fiercely loyal to Dr. Brennan, and not her- to them, she's still an outsider. It's a fact, no matter how unpleasant it is.
It doesn't bother her per se, but it's a bit jarring to see the way these people are all devoted to her. She feels frustrated a lot of the time- unwavering loyalty sounds nice, and the doctor invades more of her thoughts, taking up space in her mind until it's all she can ever think about.
That evening, she gets home and immediately pours herself one- or two- glasses of wine. She debates inviting Seeley over, because that's what friends do (and she supposes friendly exes do fit the category, in some ways), but when she phones him, he's apparently busy getting takeout with his partner.
She doesn't get jealous, it's never been a thing she does- but still finds herself mildly irritated at the thought. She imagines them together, forming a mental image of the other woman smiling at her partner, her auburn locks curtaining her face and her lips quirked up in a soft smile- the smile that clearly will never be meant for her, and she slams her glass so hard on her living room table that she's convinced she would have broken it, had she just applied a little more force.
It frustrates her to no end, and she wants to put an end to this as soon as possible- all this ruminating can't possibly be healthy for her, but the air between the two gets so thick it whenever they're in the same room could very probably get sliced in half with a knife.
"You know, Cam, Bones complained about you," he tells her, as she tells him her findings about their latest case.
"What?" Cam stops dead in her tracks despite the fact that she's in the middle of weighing organs, "What'd she say?"
"Apparently, you're bossy and mean."
"In those terms?" She frowned, setting down the liver on the scale, "And coming from her…"
"Well, not those exact words, but I've gotten pretty good at comprehending her meaning…"
It gradually builds up over the course of the case, and she's scared of what the inevitable blowout might lead to. Dr. Brennan is truly brilliant, there's absolutely no doubt about that, but she's also arrogant, abrasive, and won't take directions. None of these people know how to tactfully approach the subject, except Angela, who she suspects likes to be inappropriate on purpose for shits and giggles.
Then, Dr. Hodgins' birthday comes up. She knows she's not invited, because she's only been there for a few weeks. They don't mention it in front of her, but the cat is out of the bag when Angela makes a loud comment about it when she thinks Cam is not within earshot.
Coincidentally, they happen to have a new case that day.
It only adds to her ever-growing frustration that experiments keep getting conducted behind her back (as much as whatever Zack and Hodgins' scheme of the day to blow up the lab can be called 'experiments'). It doesn't help that Dr. Brennan keeps challenging her findings and seems overly emotionally invested in the case. From what she's gathered- and been told, and maybe read a little on the internet, if she's being fully honest, but that is neither here nor there, so this feels a bit out of character.
She's tired of it all. Exhausted, really. She has to admit that every once in a while, she feels like smothering the brilliant doctor with a pillow might be a way for her to achieve catharsis, and she feels like she's been in the field long enough to get away with it. The thought doesn't come to her often, thankfully, but whenever Brennan bites back at her with an unnecessarily scalding comment, she thinks she might take a few years of jail time over this.
She's feeling something indescribable, but it still consumes her whole. She's irritated and on edge, because she would like to go one fucking second without Dr. Brennan plaguing her thoughts.
They disagree a lot on this one. She and Seeley agree that there is a good chance that the girlfriend might have done it, considering that she ran away after witnessing her poor boyfriend's demise, but Dr. Brennan simply insists that she wants to keep her options open, despite all the evidence seemingly pointing to her. She doesn't believe that foster kids are inherently bad- no one has any choice over these kids, but she's simply following the trail of evidence.
The animosity between them seems to grow at an hourly rate. Angela seems to avoid being in the same room as the two (she takes one look at them and simply turns back on her heel), and she overhears Hodgins joking about the need for a witness in case they get another murder on their hands.
She's stepping on a landmine, Cam realizes- she's never seen Dr. Brennan this emotional, but she can't quite put her finger on what is the reason for this. She's always prided herself on her ability to read people, but Dr. Brennan seems to have been written in another language.
The pot finally boils over the following day. Brennan claims she can't work in these conditions and crosses her arms as she sticks her chin up, ever so the petulant child, and Cam's mouth decides to take initiative over her brain because she blurts out if she should start looking for a replacement right away. She can't even tell if she's being serious or it's just a scare tactic, but the other woman storms off the platform, as Angela- who hadn't been able to make an escape this time- tells her that if Brennan is gone, so are all of them. She asks Seeley about it, and he makes sure to let her know that he's with her... all the fucking way, apparently. She knew she had him wrapped around her finger, but this is the first time she had proof of it, whether he's willing to admit to the nature of his feelings for her or it. She hates that she gets it, really. Dr. Brennan is beautiful, incredibly smart, and- Cam stops herself before driving herself up the wall again. Now is not the time to praise the person who might make her lab fall apart.
She feels her heart pinch a little at the thought of everything she's worked so hard to achieve falling out so easily. She almost wants to resent Dr. Brennan, for everything, really, but for some reason, she can't bring herself to.
Finally, Seeley cracks when he feels the situation has gotten out of of hand ("We're way past that, but sure," she scoffs at him), and reveals to her that the reason the usually rational and level-headed scientist has been taking this case to heart- she had been a foster child herself. Finally, it's like the puzzle pieces fall into place: there has always been more to Temperance Brennan than meets the eye, but this revelation makes her realize she might have made a few assumptions about the other woman that she shouldn't have. The knotting in her stomach, which had never quite subsided ever since the two had come to meet, seemed to get bigger
As she sits in the dinner, she slowly chews on her fries while thinking of all the ways she could broach the subject with Dr. Brennan without revealing Seeley's slip-up (she fears for her friend's life if Dr. Brennan ever learns that details of her personal life have been shared without her consent, no matter how necessary it felt). She looks up when she hears someone loudly clearing their throat. She looks up, and, speaking of the devil, Dr. Temperance Brennan is standing in front of her in all her grandeur. She encourages her to sit down, even feeling compelled a bit to let her take a few of her fries from her plate, something that hasn't happened since she was a child (and Felicia didn't have her permission to steal her fries back then, but her sister has always seriously lacked boundaries, so this is entirelydifferent). Camille Saroyan has never liked to share… But exceptions can be made.
They exchange apologies, and the two come to a compromise about a "get out of jail". Brennan (- she decides to drop the constant 'Dr.' that seems to precede the other woman's name in her thoughts-) reveals to her that she was a foster child herself, and somehow knows about Seeley spilling the beans to her. Brennan looks her in the eye, and for once, instead of seeing fire in her eyes, she sees something else- she can't quite pinpoint what it is, but when the other woman smiles at her, she can't help but feel like she's finally done something right.
And when Brennan laughs at an off-hand joke she makes about something she can't remember, she can't rationalize the way her heart flutters at the sound.
Finally, she thinks she might understand what this has all been about.