Good morning! Chapter 20! And after that, there are 8 more left to go. I finished this story last week and with over 90k words it's the longest I've ever written. And thinking it's not in my native language I am a little bit proud. I know it would be nice for you to get faster updates than once a week but I always do a lot of rereading before every upload and with a job, my studies, and two toddlers I'm always short on time. I hope you understand!
Now this is the last smut chapter for this story. I reread it while at uni and the guy sitting beside me looked quite shocked when he glanced over at my laptop. Oh and for all of you who hope for the angst and drama to end, I am so sorry but there is more ahead. But I'm a fan of happy endings, so don't worry.
I hope you enjoy and thank you to everyone who reviewed and favorited/followed since last week!
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Following close behind her and looking at the way she moved he doubted he could make it to the bathroom. As they crossed the bedroom, he wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her close against his chest. Her soft hair brushed against his face, and he inhaled the scent of cherry he loved so much on her and the traces of what was just her. He buried his face into her neck and pressed her even closer to his body. For the last one and a half weeks his mind had been too busy with worrying about his daughter and the terms she had left on. But now the pure feeling of joy the appointment had caused still soared through his body and pushed all his worries far away into the back of his mind. And with the decision made to deal with Alexis the next day his mind was free again for the first time in days. Nothing was dulling the irrepressible desire to touch her, feel her, taste her.
She leaned back into him, and he let his hands roam over her upper body while his lips started searching for the tender skin of her neck. "I'm all sweaty," Kate mumbled in a weak try to stop him. "Don't care." He mumbled and let his lips glide up to the sensitive spot behind her ear, causing her to sigh. It had been a long one-and-a-half weeks.
His hands found their way under her shirt and as his fingertips grazed her skin, he felt the passion washing over him like a wave that's been building up in his body for days. With fast movements, his hands tried to touch every spot of her they could reach. Overcome with the need to have more of her he lifted her shirt over her head. Running his hands over the fabric of her bra he couldn't stand this piece of clothing between his hands and her skin for a moment longer. With quick fingers, he opened the little clasp and the blue lace fell to the ground.
She moaned as his hands returned to her body, caressing and teasing her. His lips crashed to the skin of her neck again and wandered up to her face, desperately searching for her mouth. Turning her head, she pressed her lips to his and let all the longing that had pent up over the last days flow into the kiss. His hands reached the rim of one of the last jeans that still fitted her, and his fingers determinedly slid under the fabric. She moaned into his mouth and another wave of lust crashed down on him. Reaching for her but not being able to touch her where he wanted to so badly, he pulled back his hand with a frustrated groan to quickly open up the button that allowed him to push the useless fabric down her hips.
With a firm touch, his hand finally reached the spot he longed for, causing her to arch her back at the sensation of his fingers against her. Feeling the soft dampness between her thighs he lost all remaining control to keep his touch slow or gentle. His fingers slid up and down between her thighs, quickly spreading the wetness he loved to cause everywhere he wanted, needed, it to be. Her head resting against his shoulder and her knees growing weak she moaned at his touch and felt the tension deep in her core rising.
With a smooth movement, he slid two of his fingers inside of her and she gasped at the sudden sensation. Feeling her warmth surrounding him the need to be inside of her started to feel unbearable. But he wanted to make up for the days she had to go without his touch. Repeating the movement of his fingers he rubbed his palm against the wonderful little nub and he could feel her body starting to shake against his. Holding her up with one arm firmly wrapped around her waist he decided to waste no more time. With steady pressure he started to circle his thumb around the small bundle of nerves, knowing fine well that was the way he could push her over the edge.
Groaning and tossing her head around on his shoulder overwhelmed by pleasure Kate felt the tension between her thighs releasing, sending trembling shivers over her body. And if it hadn't been for his arm still firmly holding her up, her legs would have given in to the strength of her orgasm. He held himself back just long enough for the waves that were flooding through her body to subside a little before he pushed her toward the bed.
She let herself fall onto her back and before she could realize it, he had torn her jeans that were still wrapped around her ankles away. And then he was all over her. His mouth on hers, on her neck, her breasts, her stomach and thighs. And while his lips worked their way down the sweaty and hot skin of her body his hands freed himself from the clothes he was still wearing. Kate had her eyes closed, still caught in the aftermath of her orgasm and his lips on her body. For a second, she couldn't feel him, and then his warm body settled on her, his sweaty skin rubbing against hers. And then he pushed himself into her all the way with a deep groan escaping his throat as she called his name.
Thrusting into her in a frantic rhythm he pushed her up the bed a few inches every time he reentered her. The roughness in his movement almost drove her insane. The last time he had touched her like this had been before they learned about her pregnancy, and she realized just now how much she had missed it. And with the dry span that lay behind them, it was almost too much to handle. The tension quickly rose again and she knew this wouldn't last long. And by the way he groaned and desperately held on to the sheets beside her head she knew he was already struggling to hold his release back.
So, letting her head fall back on the bed she let go and allowed the waves of pleasure to consume her again. Every muscle in her body tightened and she could feel him pulsating inside of her before his body crashed down on hers, panting and drops of sweat dripping from his skin to hers. He came to rest his body still halfway covering hers and his hot breath felt cold against the wet skin of her neck. Still out of breath he quietly chuckled "Well, now we definitely need to shower." Softly laughing she turned to him and kissed him. "Give me a second." She mumbled between two panting breaths. "All the time you need." He murmured.
As their breathing normalized and Kate waited for some strength to return to her legs, his fingers started to draw little patterns onto the skin of her chest and stomach. Wandering down his hand reached the little bump he adored so much. Circling his fingers over the soft skin he mumbled. "I still can't believe you're carrying my baby." She smiled and looked over at him, the expression of pure affection on his face sending warm shivers down her body.
"You've just seen it a couple of hours ago." She intertwined her fingers with his and their hands came to lay on the little bump. "But I know what you mean. It's crazy what happened in just four weeks." She said thinking of the image of the baby moving around. Turning back around to him she added, "You know what, I want to tell my dad." He raised his eyebrows in surprise. "I thought you wanted to keep it a secret as long as possible." She softly nodded her head and smiled. "Yeah, that somehow changed. We can't tell Captain Gates just yet, but I want my dad to know." Her smile turned into a grin. "Actually, I want the whole world to know. And I can't wait to let that happen in a few weeks. But until then I want to at least tell my dad."
Smiling back at her, he nodded. "I'd love that. We can invite him over any time you want." A brief frown shadowed his face. "Well, maybe not tomorrow. Maybe you can give me a few more days until I had the chance to talk to Alexis?" She freed her hand from his to gently touch his cheek. "Of course." He pulled her hand to his lips and kissed it. "Do you have any idea how happy it makes me to see you happy?" Searching for his eyes and thinking about how much it had pained her to watch his sadness in the last one and a half weeks she nodded. "I do. Because I know how much it means to me to see you happy." With a content sigh, he pulled her into his arms. "Oh, you can believe me, no matter what we might have to deal with, you make me the happiest man alive."
The evening and night passed with the high temperatures outside still persistent and to Kate's relief the heat seemed to have found its way back into their bed too. So, when she went to work the next day she couldn't suppress a little yawn. But with some tiredness and a little sore muscles she could deal, she told herself, as long as the air conditioner was back to working again. Luckily she wasn't disappointed when she entered the precinct. The day was a quiet one and she was thankful for it. Because in contrast, Castle was nothing but a nervous wreck. And when Kate decided to take her lunch break, he finally wound up the courage to call Alexis.
She watched him through the closed glass door of the break room and had to admit she was a little nervous herself. Her heart jumped when she saw him starting to talk on the phone because it meant Alexis had finally decided to pick up and not ignore him anymore. And when he walked out of the break room, back over to her desk again the little smile on his face told her, he had good news. She didn't have to ask him what Alexis had to say. "She's coming over tonight." He said quietly so no one else would hear it. "And she didn't sound upset or anything." Kate couldn't hold back a beaming smile. "That's great, Castle! Do you want me to be there?" He nodded firmly. "Of course. This is a family problem. And we are all part of this family, so we'll work it out together."
The rest of the day seemed to pass a lot faster than the first half and when they returned to the loft Castle didn't seem nervous but excited and happy to see his daughter again. Kate just hoped he wasn't expecting too much from the upcoming talk. Because as she saw it this was nothing more than a first approach to each other rather than the big, happy family reunion he longed for. She tried to carefully let him in on her thoughts, but he was filled with optimism, just like she knew him. And she couldn't bring herself to talk him out of it. Maybe the feeling in her gut was wrong and after tonight everything would be alright and back to normal again.
With every minute it came closer to 6 p.m., the time Alexis had said she would come over, Castle was becoming more restless. And when his phone lit up with the number of his publisher at 5:45 p.m. he let out a frustrated groan. "Come on, pick up, she won't be here for another fifteen minutes." Kate encouraged him. And mumbling something incoherent Castle walked into his office, letting the door fall shut behind him. Kate walked over to the kitchen to get herself one of the chocolate bars she'd been craving for a few days now, when the front door slowly cracked open, not even two minutes later. "Alexis! You're early." She said, looking up in surprise as the young woman walked inside, looking around the room.
"Yeah, I know. Where's dad?" She asked, eyeing around the corner into the living room. "In his office, I can get…" Kate replied slightly confused over the way the young woman seemed to be relieved. "No." Alexis interrupted her. "No, I hoped I would get a chance to talk to you alone for a minute." She added with a little resistance. Even more confused, Kate walked around the corner and over to the red-haired girl. "Okay.." Kate softly said and gave Alexis a questioning look.
Alexis avoided her gaze and looked down at her feet. "Look, I… I wanted to apologize to you." She said softly and Kate felt a warm smile spread over her lips. "Oh, there's nothing you need to apologize for." She answered. "I have full understanding that this situation is everything but easy for you." Alexis nodded softly and finally brought herself to meet Kate's eyes. "Yeah, it's not. But I've had some time to think about it and I realized that it must be a little overwhelming for you too." Kate let out a low chuckle. "Oh, you can bet. At least it was. By now I've arranged with everything that's going on."
Alexis sighed. "Well, I still have some trouble with that." Nodding sympathetically Kate walked a step closer to her and placed her hand on the girl's shoulder. "That's completely fine." Alexis looked up at her and Kate could see her eyes shimmering with tears. "Um, so before I tell Dad, I wanted to explain to you…" Alexis started but was interrupted by Castle's office door opening. He immediately spotted his daughter and his face lit up.
"Alexis!" He walked over to them and Kate could see Alexis was struggling to wind up a smile for her father. "Hey, Dad." He came to a stand beside them and looked and his daughter, his expression full of hope. "I'm so glad you're finally home." He said with a voice so warm that Kate couldn't help but smile at him. But Alexis just looked down at her feet and cleared her throat. "Um, I'm not. I'm not coming home." She mumbled with tensed features.
Castle frowned. "What? What does that mean?" Alexis still kept her eyes down and Kate's heart began to sink. "I wanted to tell you I made a decision." Alexis started. Neither Kate nor Castle dared to ask what she was referring to and Alexis slowly kept on talking. "I took the spot at the Columbia. I… I couldn't bring up the courage to move out of town. But I'm…" She sniffled and quickly wiped away a tear from the corner of her eye. "I think it's best if I move out." Kate could tell these words cost the girl a lot of strength. And from the corner of her eye, she could see Castle's shoulders sinking.
"I signed in for some preliminary courses and already started them last week." Alexis continued. "And I met a very nice girl who has a room for rent, just beside the campus. So I decided to take it and I can move in next weekend." Castle just stared at his daughter for a full minute before he found his voice again. "You can't be serious." He mumbled. Alexis sniffled again. "I am. And I think that's best for all of us. I.. I need to make my own decisions now and the two of you…" She hesitated and shot a quick glance at the small bump on Kate's stomach. "Well, the three of you need some time to yourself I think."
"That's nonsense!" Castle shouted and the two women next to him both startled slightly. "Alexis…" His voice softened again. "Honey, we want you here. We want you to be part of all of this!" Alexis remained quiet for a few moments, seemingly considering what to say. "But I'm not sure there is a place for me here." She whispered. And before Castle could respond she added "And I'm still not sure if I want to be a part of it." By that Castle was taken aback and looking at his face Kate could see the hurt spreading over his features and her own heart started to ache.
"Don't get me wrong." Alexis continued. "I will surely come around sometimes. And when... When the baby is born I will meet him or her and I will surely care for it too." She took one more deep breath. "But I think it's best when I start going my own ways while you start your family."
"But Alexis…" Kate softly started. "You are a part of our family. This is not a me against you thing. And the baby will never be replacing you." Alexis dared to give Kate a soft smile. "This has nothing to do with you, Kate." She quietly said. "No." Castle interrupted in a firm tone, his voice filled with hurt. "No, it's about me, isn't it. The fact that I'm daring to live my life in another way you might have pictured it." Kate gasped. "Castle.." She tried to stop him. "No. No, it's fine. It is how she says, she's a grown-up now, she's got to go her own way. We shouldn't hold her back." For the first time, Alexis looked up at her father and Kate could see the hurt and anger Castle was feeling mirrored in his daughter's eyes.
"Well, then we both agree it's best if I pick up my stuff this weekend and leave," Alexis muttered and Kate could hardly bear the hurt and sadness vibrating from the girl's voice. "We do." Castle shot back. "You can leave me a note with the information for the rent, I figure I'll have to pay for that." His voice sounded cold and Kate hated it. Alexis just nodded and then turned to leave, the tears starting to spill from her eyes.
Looking back and forth between Castle and the young woman that was reaching the door Kate felt herself starting to panic. "Wait!" She called and quickly walked after Alexis. "Alexis, I don't know whether you made that decision because it is what you want or because you feel forced to do it. And I know this is more your home than mine and I don't have anything to say." She gestured around the room and then placed her hands on the girl's upper arms. "But if there ever comes a moment where you want to come home…" She turned around to Castle and hissed "… and I'm sure, I'm also speaking for your father…" Turning back to Alexis she did her best to smile at her. "We would be more than happy to have you back here with us. You need to know that."
Alexis looked at Kate and the tears were still quietly running down her cheeks. "Thank you, Kate." A shaky breath escaped the girl's throat. "Please don't think I hate you." And Kate knew that wasn't only meant for her. "We don't. We could never think that." She reassured her. "We're here for you, always." Kate could see Alexis was trying her hardest to compose herself, so she decided it was best to let her go. She slowly let go of her arms and brought another weak smile to her lips. And on that Alexis turned around and walked out the door, closing it behind her.
The silence in the room felt heavy and Kate needed a few deep breaths before she could bring herself to turn around. His stare was pointed blankly at the door where his daughter had just left. A deep frown on his face and the muscles of his jaw clenched. There hadn't been many occasions she had seen him like this. At a loss for words, she just looked at him. What had just happened?
The seconds passed and neither of them moved or talked. With one more shot of hurt running over his face, he squinted his eyes and let out a deep breath as he opened them again. "Well, that's how it is then." Pulled out of her frozen state Kate carefully made a few steps towards him. "Castle… I'm sure she'll…" He held up his hand to stop her from talking and Kate fell silent. "No, Kate." He didn't want her telling him Alexis would surely change her mind and everything would turn out fine. No, he'd had enough of getting his hopes up for the last one and a half weeks, only to have them shattered. "That's what she decided to do."
He rubbed his hand over his face. "We've tried to reach through to her but apparently, she doesn't want us to. But I don't want this to keep casting a shadow over our family." Kate could feel a tightness in her throat. She knew what he had said and done resulted from nothing but hurt. "But Castle, she's your daughter." She whispered and could suddenly feel her little bump very present. Just the idea of something like this someday happening with the baby she was carrying let tears rise in her eyes.
Looking at her and seeing her eyes shimmering Castle pulled her close to him. "Yes, she is and she'll always be. And if I ever see a chance to close this gap between us I can assure you, I will try. But for now… I just don't know what to do. And if I'm honest I can't bear her keeping pushing me away. And I believe it's hurting her too." Pressed against his chest Kate could feel his breath trembling. "So, for now, I'll let her go. For her own sake and mine." He pressed a kiss to her head and Kate fastened her hug around him. "And I can't keep on being busy running after one kid that clearly needs some space from me, while I need to be present for another one. And for you."
Kate sniffled. She knew there was more to his reaction and a good amount of it was this trait of stubbornness she had seen in him many times before, only that it had never caused so much damage until now. "Please don't put me or this baby over Alexis. That would be a terrible thing to do. And it would ruin every chance for the two of them to ever form a bond." She could feel him shaking his head. "I'm not putting the baby over her. I respect her decision. Although I can't understand it and I hate it." Kate remained silent for a few seconds. "And what do we do now?" She asked hesitantly.
Castle sighed. "I think I'll need some time, maybe a few days… And then I'll pull myself together and we keep going and look forward to our son or daughter." His hand gently caressed the small of her back and she could find a little comfort in his touch. For her, it would be the same. She couldn't just go on and forget about Alexis, she cared too much for the girl. "And we'll hope we can find a way to come clean with Alexis." She whispered. "Maybe when the baby's born and she can see it will never take her place." Castle nodded and couldn't keep the longing tone out of his voice as he mumbled, "Yes, maybe."