Chapter 6: Yellow Carnation

Naruto felt good to be back home, he was hoping to go back to his sisters and put on his real clothes. These loose ones didn't make him feel like himself. His team had already talked with Tsunade about the mission failure and she didn't agree to his request to have new teammates. She never did, she thought they could work things out. Honestly, sometimes Naruto thought that team 7 really was cursed. Even when given a new teammate the team just had a weird dynamic. All the other teams seem to get along ok why was it that he got stuck in a cursed team. The village would probably tell him that it was his fault for being a demon, his sisters would call it bad luck to make up for his godly luck in gambling. (if you don't remember some of the filler episodes had him winning random prizes while with Jiraiya)

Unfortunately for him luck wasn't on his side. There were Anbu following him after how interested in him Orochimaruo seemed to be on the last mission. Naruto sighed no Dancing Willow for him any time soon. Maybe he should just try to find Shika to see if he would help him with loosing his anal virginity. Sakara said that Shika likes to hang out at the barbecue place. So Naruto decided to start there, Shika was there with his whole team. The owner gave Naruto the stink eye for walking into the establishment but let him pass without saying anything, this time.

"Hey Shika Sakara told me I could find you here. Something happened on the last mission and i was wondering if you would do me a favorttebayo." Naruto nervously looked around not really liking how public this place was but it would seem weird if he pulled Shika out of there.

"What do you want Naruto, I'm not helping you with a prank or anything troublesome. Why can't you just get your teammates to help you. " Shikamaru sighed dramatically and looked up at the heavens if asking, why me.

"Can we talk somewhere else, it's kinda embarrassing ttebayo." Naruto blushed looking around anxiously wondering if anyone was listening that would judge him and make his life worse. Shika sighed dramatically again before slowly getting up dragging his feet as he walked away with the laughter from Ino following the two out of the restaurant.

"What do you need help with Naruto? I told you I'm not doing anything troublesome. I still think you should ask your teammates for help but I don't blame you for not wanting help from Sai, he gets strange around you"

"Well you see Shika on the last mission we were looking for Sasuke right and we ran into Orochimaru. So we were fighting and I used all my classic moves right shadow clones…" Shika continued to look up at the sky asking again to the heavens why me, why couldn't I have been born as something lazy like a cat no not lazy enough they have to chase mice, a deer no they have to run away, maybe I should have just been born as a cloud. Yea clouds don't do anything they just float there and occasionally make it rain. In the next life Shikamaru resolved to be born as a cloud so he wouldn't have to deal with this shit.

"Wait what did you just say Naruto. I'm sure I misheard you. Please tell me you didn't just say you want me to take your anal virginity." Shikamaru gave Naruto the look that said if you know what's good for you, you won't say it again.

"But Shika I don't want to loose my virginity by getting raped on a mission ttebayo, you're the only person who would do this for me. Sai is Sai, Kiba is a pervert, Choji only cares about food, Neji likes Tenten, Shino is asexual, Lee is obsessed with Sakara. Who else can I ask besides you Shikamaru. Please you have to help me ttebayo." Naruto clung to Shikamaru's feet as he tried to run away.

"Literally anyone else naruto, I am not having sex with you I like females. Ino is never going to let this go Naruto I'm going to hear about this for the rest of my life Naruto. Now get off so I can go enjoy what little time of peace I have left before this conversation makes its way to her ears." Shikamaru quickly shook Naruto off and ran home to be with the deer that wouldn't disturb his cloud watching.

Yellow carnation- rejection disappointment