The train was cold, and lonelier than I had anticipated. A letter I was sent a couple of weeks ago had detailed that if our apparition lessons were complete, we were welcome to apparate into Hogsmeade, where we would travel with the rest of the students to the castle. At the time, I had thought that this was one of my last opportunities to take the train, that the nostalgia and memories would bring me comfort.

Without Harry and Ron here, the ride was plagued with silence. I didn't blame them for not joining me, even if they thought I did. When their offers came in, I could see the joy in their eyes. Neither had really looked forward to returning, and I think both of them were excited to start a new chapter in their lives.

Kingsley had made a loose verbal offer shortly after the war had ended, to let all 3 of us join the Auror program. I didn't think it was real until we received our letters, but there was no way I was passing on finishing my education properly.

There had been some arguments between us over my going back, and things were still a little rocky by the time of my leaving, but I knew we would sort things out with time. I knew this year would be different, but—the train car door abruptly swung open, stealing me from my thoughts. Theodore Nott poked his head in.

"Sorry Granger." He coughed slightly on my name. Giving a glance around my cabin.

"Can I help you, Theodore?" As soon as I said his name, I regretted it. I could see his shoulders tense slightly.

"It's just Theo" A long pause had followed, and I swore he was just going to leave. "Look, they removed train cars thinking there would be fewer students, since so many were given the option to apparate, but it seems everyone is feeling quite antisocial and are spreading out. Do you mind if I join you?"

Another pause. "I won't talk to you, don't worry."

"Go ahead, sit down." I gave a small, tight-lipped smile and gestured to the seat across from me. He gave a curt nod in return and sat down, peering out the window.

I realized we really hadn't spoken, I'd had classes with him every year since first year, but he was usually quiet, and he didn't speak unless spoken to while in class. I had also never witnessed him interact with anyone outside Slytherin, so to have him ask so politely to sit with me had me confused. Was he that desperate? Was this some kind of stupid joke? I had seen him in the library plenty of times. I had even watched him whisper a couple of times over the years with Malfoy, their eyes glinting with mischief glancing my way. Their mouths turned up at the corners in knowing smirks, and I had always known I was the butt of the joke.

He had never seemed like a real bully, but I'd never watched him stand up for others either. Glancing over at him, I realized he looked worn, aged, and weathered like we all did, but softer, almost kinder than he had in the past. His hair was overgrown, or longer than I had ever noticed it. His face was pale, and his skin didn't look like it had seen any of the summer sun; not that we got that much.

"Staring isn't polite… Hermione." His face was neutral and hadn't moved at all, but his eyes flicked my way as he said my first name.

It was strange to hear it from him, and I immediately regretted using his own just minutes before. Was he making a stab by saying mine now? He had sounded perfectly polite, but his tone was slightly off.

"Why didn't you apparate into Hogsmeade? I didn't see any other 8th year students at the station." I should have just turned away and ignored him, but I was curious. Besides, he had asked to sit with me, surely he could answer a single question.

"Not that it's your business, but the ministry has put some… restrictions on those of us with parents who aren't favorable at the moment." He looked uncomfortable, and as quickly as he had looked my way, he looked the other. Was I bothering him?

"Well, I'm sorry to hear that. I'm not sure if you deserve that distrust." He turned back towards me, uncrossing his arms, and looking slightly more relaxed, a small smile brandished his mouth.

Possibly against better judgment, I continued. "Are you the only one with those rules that came back this year?"

I could have sworn some of the students who had gone to trial had been given pardons, that were reliant on a return to Hogwarts, and I definitely hadn't noticed any other 8th year Slytherins at the station. If they were on the train, you would think he would sit with them.

"Well, considering my family's assets are quite tied up, and I don't have anything liquid like some of my other housemates. I haven't received the same… favors others have." The word favors felt carefully selected.

His honesty was surprising, frankly I had expected him to be a little less forthcoming. Sadly, hearing the ministry still had holes that could be bought was not as surprising. Change did not happen in a year and as much as Kingsley had sworn the ministry was making strides, everyone knew there were still gaps to be filled and patched.

I decided to change the subject and instead started to inquire about classes, we actually happened to have a very similar schedule this term. I had barely taken notice of the fact that he was in N.E.W.T level courses alongside me. The conversation was nice, it had been a while since I had gotten to discuss school with someone who wasn't looking for my help. We discussed advanced potions, who the new professor could be, and what we thought would be different about this year. Our conversation didn't touch on the war, it seemed both of us carefully danced around it, instead talking about everything but what had happened to us during that time.

I still wasn't entirely sure of Theo's involvement during the war. His father had gone to prison at the same time as Lucius when we had been in 5th year, but he had also been active during the worst of it last year. I couldn't remember seeing Theo at the battle of Hogwarts, but it seemed a lot of my memories had been distorted or blacked out from then.

"Why did you come back? Potter and Weasley didn't, and I don't know how true it is, but I heard you lot got offered Auror positions"

He lifted his brow to ask, and I saw the smallest bit of nervousness. In the way his fingers tapped, and his eyes did not meet mine. It wasn't the most personal question, but it was the most personal so far.

I smiled at him softly. "I'm not entirely sure. I know I want to finish my education, that I would have felt like I missed out if I hadn't come back. But I think part of it is that I don't feel like I deserve to just be handed an important job like that. Getting into Auror academy is very difficult, and I just didn't feel like I earned it. Harry, Ron and I actually had some arguments about it, Ron said that 'I made them feel guilty for accepting.' I don't know… Part of me wanted to do something without them." Why I felt the need to tell Theodore Nott of all people about that argument was beyond me.

He laughed, and it seemed quite genuine, his eyes were crinkled in the corners and I noticed how soft and brown they were. Warm like the bark on a tree that was splashed with the sun. His eyes were comforting, and quiet. They reminded me of my parents.

"You would have deserved that offer over Potter and Weasley. No matter how hard I've tried, I've never been able to best you in a class. Besides, I'm sure they'll get over it." He paused, but seemed cool and calm again, hiding the warmth he had just displayed. "I think it's nice you want to do something on your own."

I smiled at him, and we reached an odd, comfortable silence. I hadn't taken the time to really notice him before. Talking to him had felt so familiar after a while, and I hadn't worried too much about sharing some things with him, even though it felt like I should have. He'd been nice today, but I really didn't know this boy, didn't know if he still or ever had held the idea that my blood was dirty. If I had to take a guess, I would say no. I might even say maybe Theo and I could have been friends. Maybe we still could.

A voice rang through the cars, telling us we were nearing Hogwarts. I excused myself to go change into my robes, getting up and walking to the door, he stopped me.

"Hey… It was actually really pleasant talking. Hopefully I see you around the castle again." I smiled and nodded.

"That would be nice. I hope so." I went to walk out, but stopped and turned back. "Maybe we can sit in a carriage together on the way over to the school?"

His smile faltered. "Maybe."

When we got to Hogsmeade, I quickly realized his apprehension as I watched him stand with his fellow Slytherins. Nobody seemed to actually be talking besides Pansy, just standing with each other in a clear attempt at solidarity. I saw him glance my way, but I quickly joined my own group who seemed to be doing much of the same and realized potentially that was that. It was strange that I felt slightly dejected. I'm not sure why I thought he'd be so quick to be my friend, we'd only just spoken for the first time.