Chapter 59

In the carriage, as they rode back to the palace from the opera, Raiden and Azula talked about the talent of the singers, and the most stirring moments of the musical score, everything but the love story that was so similar to their own.

Then the captain moved the conversation from the show's artistry to its historical plot. "It was interesting how the Assembly served as an obstacle for Izumi in her impetuous youth, but then later supported her more mature and wise decisions," he commented cautiously.

"It makes you wonder what the Fire Nation would be like if we still had the Assembly. If Sozin hadn't dissolved it," Azula mused. It was as if she'd read his mind.

Raiden paused, and then wondered, in the most neutral voice he could manage, "Would you ever consider reestablishing the Assembly?"

"I'm open to the idea," Azula answered, as if giving up her absolute authority to an elected body would be no big deal.

"That's more than any of your recent ancestors would have said," he pointed out, restraining his earnestness.

"That's a low bar," she scoffed, then lifted her chin. "I aspire to the greatness of the Golden Age, and the Assembly was an important institution of that time. It provided a necessary check on the power of the Fire Lord, and Sozin is proof of the need for such limitations. Szeto's writings outline how he first established the Assembly; I imagine all we would need to do is follow his guidance to do it again. But the context today is very different. My biggest concern is that extremists like Ukano may win power if elections are held."

"That's a real possibility," Raiden admitted. "And it's a good reason to move slowly." He couldn't help feeling incredibly impressed at her response, nearly overjoyed by it. He had to let her know how proud he was of the way she had changed herself and their country. He dampened his enthusiasm, though, making his voice as mild as he could. "I'm amazed at how much you've grown, Azula. When you were first crowned, you would have laughed at the thought of re-forming the Assembly. And now you recognize the wisdom Avatar Szeto showed when he placed that constraint on the Fire Lord's authority. It almost makes me wonder if I have too much influence over you," he joked.

"You flatter yourself," she swatted his chest playfully. "If I didn't like your ideas on their merits, I would reject them. Upon ascending the throne, I was predisposed to a reevaluation of my country's policies. I didn't want to be like my father. I suppose you've guessed by now that I'm the one who killed him?"

"I did…wonder. I'm sorry you were put in that position." His forehead wrinkled in concern. He was touched that she would confide in him this way, telling him a secret that could damage her.

Azula shrugged. "Someone had to do it. Aang could have, but killing anyone, even in self-defense, would have torn him up inside. Better me than him. The memory used to bother me, but not anymore."

"Spoken like a true soldier," he answered admiringly. "Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me."

"I knew you wouldn't think less of me for it." Her smile was sad and strong, pulling on his heartstrings.

"How could I? I've committed basically the same act myself," he reminded her.

"When you killed my assassin. Yes, I can see why you might say the circumstances were similar." She looked away. "But in my case, more intimate." He pulled her closer, hoping to soothe her, and she relaxed into him.

When the carriage stopped at the palace, she asked, "Would you like to come in? Just for an hour or so." Her eyes twinkled with mischief.

Guessing that she meant for them to spend the time kissing on her couch again, he eagerly nodded.

Holding hands, they walked through the palace to her chambers. She led them the long way, through the portrait hall where they had first discussed Szeto. He marveled at how far they'd come since that afternoon so long ago.

When she shut the door behind them, she pulled impatiently on her long sleeve. "This gown is gorgeous, but not very comfortable. Would you mind if I change?"

His eyes widened a little, and he wondered if she meant to put on something small and lacy and seduce him. Then he recalled her scrupulous observation of his boundaries, in the hunting cabin and the previous night. Besides, he was in her space, and he couldn't very well force her to stay in cumbersome clothes. He gulped and said, "Go ahead."

"Make yourself at home." She gestured to the couch and the side table with refreshments, and disappeared into her dressing room.

He poured himself some sake and took a seat on the couch as he waited for her. A few minutes later, she emerged in black leggings and a loose red sleeveless shirt that actually covered more of her chest than the gown had. He also noticed that the red lipstick had been removed, replaced with a clear, shiny gloss that drew his eyes.

She took a seat next to him and sipped from the cup he handed her.

"I have good news," she began. "Zuko, Mai and Ty Lee are coming to visit. I want them to meet you."

"I'll look forward to it," he answered with a grin. After all, they were all in the White Lotus, so they would probably get along quite well.

"I'd like to introduce you as my boyfriend, if that's all right with you," she went on.

"That would be an honor." He kissed her hand in delight, and she pulled her fingers from his, only to touch his chin and bring his lips to hers.

He kissed her back, but put up his guard, noticing that it was even more difficult to remain aloof than it had been the previous night. Her lips seemed to be questioning him, and it was hard to evade her. After only a few minutes of kissing, Azula pulled away and settled her head on his chest. He rested his arm around her shoulders, glad for the reprieve.

"There was a line from the show that made me think of you," Azula mused.

"Oh?" It could have been almost anything, their situation was so similar to that of the previous Fire Lord and her bodyguard.

"When Izumi said to Isamu, 'You kiss by the book.'"

He swallowed, caught. "Why that line?"

Her frank, searching eyes met his. "The way you kiss, it's so expert. Like you learned from a manual. Maybe I'm imagining it, but sometimes you seem….disconnected. I wonder, are you holding back on me, Raiden?"

His jaw dropped, and he had no idea how to explain himself.

She interpreted his silence as confirmation, but didn't seem hurt or even put off. "There's no need for inhibitions with me, my captain. I can handle it." She put her hand on his cheek. "Please."

He could not refuse that plea. He had been foolish to think he could ever restrain or hide his love. Now he would finally show her; he trusted her to accept everything he had to give her.

He trailed his fingers through the front part of her hair, those tendrils framing her face that had always entranced him. His hand traced around to the back of her head, the place where his knife had sliced away her honor. Cradling her there, he leaned forward slowly. Her eyes full of anticipation and trust, she let him lay her back. Once his body settled atop hers, Raiden dropped his inner armor and kissed her with every bit of his love, telling her with soft, silent lips all about his long devotion. These kisses were achingly gentle, different from any he'd given her so far. He put aside his vast experience with other women and bared himself to her: his insecurity and doubt along with his admiration and wonder. She responded tentatively at first, then started to give him back her own feelings: gratitude, affection, lust, and the beginning of something much more.

When he felt her draw a shaky breath, he stopped, afraid the suggestive position was too much for her. He opened his eyes to find hers shining with tears.

Alarmed, he asked, "What's wrong?"

"This must be what happiness feels like," she mused, showing him a tremulous smile. "It's….new. I think I never could have been this happy with Aang. Not even if I'd treated him well from the beginning, and he loved me."

This declaration overcame him, so that he kissed her again, with the same openness as before, but more depth, singing his own happiness into her. She returned it, her fingers resting on the side of his neck, and the kiss bloomed, celebrating the joy they'd just discovered.

Eventually, Raiden's body told him the kiss could not be sustained any longer, not without crossing the physical boundary he had resolved to hold, so he broke away, easing them out of their intimate clasp with a few short pecks, and a moment resting his forehead on hers. Then he rolled toward the back of the couch, and they settled into a looser embrace, facing each other on their sides. The two lay like that in silence a few minutes, cuddling comfortably and marveling at this new contentment.

Azula was the first to speak. "I have something else I want to ask you. It's rather serious, so it's all right if you don't have an answer now, but if you do, then it might make things easier."

"What is it?"

"I told you a while ago that I can't have children. When I found out about that, old Yoroh offered to help me fake a pregnancy and facilitate a secret adoption. So if you want to be a father someday, he can make it happen."

Raiden gaped at her, dumbfounded for several reasons. The first was utter amazement that she was already projecting that kind of future for the two of them. The second was confusion: he'd had the impression that she didn't want children. Had he somehow awakened a maternal instinct in her? Or perhaps the news of the Avatar's growing family had changed her mind? His uncertainty made him awkward. Her phrasing was focused entirely on him, which was both flattering and a reason for caution. If she was offering to raise a child only for his sake, then that was a bad idea, though he had no idea how to turn her down diplomatically.

He remained silent, unable to respond for so long that she finally blushed and looked away. "Like I said, you don't have to decide tonight."

"I'm sorry, I'm—beyond honored," he stumbled, stroking her arm reassuringly. "But I just—what do you want?"

Azula's shoulder moved in a small shrug. "Well, I need an heir. I'm sure if you raise the next Fire Lord, they'll be a marvelous leader."

"Let's put the question of succession aside," he suggested. "If you weren't the Fire Lord, would you want to adopt a child?"

"I'm open to it if it's important to you. I certainly prefer adoption to giving birth myself, so I'm glad that isn't even an option." She gave a small shudder at the thought. "Honestly, I'm afraid I won't be a very good mother, so you'd probably have to be the primary parent. But maybe you'd like that. Most people like children, for some reason, and I don't want you to…miss out or have regrets."

This offer meant that she had chosen him as her lifelong partner, Raiden realized. In some ways, her suggestion was even more significant than a marriage proposal. Maybe it meant she loved him. He had to respond to that sentiment first of all, though he still had enormous doubts about this adoption proposition.

He considered telling her of his love, but didn't want that moment to be confused with this complicated, unrelated issue. Besides, he felt unable to speak the words as long as he kept his secret. And knowing now the depth of her heart's commitment, he couldn't do that anymore. He began to brace himself for the revelation.

"Azula, this invitation to make a family means more to me than I can say," he began, brushing her hair back from her temple for emphasis. "I have admired you for an embarrassingly long time, and now that we're finally together, I'm happier than I imagined possible. Please be assured, there is nothing I want more than to be with you as far into the future as I can see." Closing her eyes to savor his words, she inhaled so deeply that her chest pushed against his. Content that he'd communicated his appreciation, he returned to the issue of adoption. "But you didn't answer my question. Do you want a child someday?"

She frowned. "I recognize that sacrifices must be made in any relationship, and I'm willing to—"

He shook his head. "That's not necessary." Though she appeared to mean it as a gift to him, her well-intentioned offer was misguided, to say the least. Azula had basically admitted that she didn't really want to be a mother, which meant that she shouldn't adopt, regardless of her partner's desires, regardless of the needs of the crown, because a child should be wanted by their mother. Though she showed plenty of consideration for him as her partner, she had none for the being she proposed to bring into their future family. He supposed it was a result of the dysfunction in her family of origin, which was not really her fault.

"You don't want to raise a child?" she verified.

He shrugged. "I never had strong feelings about it one way or the other. If you don't want a baby, then I don't, either."

She relaxed. "Well, I admit, I'm relieved. I didn't really want to confine myself to my chambers for months. The ruse might have been impossible to maintain. And as far as the succession, there is an alternative, one I vastly prefer to Zeitakuna." She smiled and shared more news. "Zuko and Mai have a baby girl."

"That's wonderful!" Raiden immediately connected this royal child to the question of the succession, with enormous relief. "You're considering making your brother's daughter the next Fire Lord?"

"Yes, but I wanted to ask you first."

"I think it would be better for the Fire Nation, and for your family, if your niece became your heir," Raiden concluded. In addition to his doubts about Azula's inclination to be a parent, he judged this idea far better than all previously considered succession plans. It didn't rely on distant relatives of dubious loyalty and skill. There would be no risk of a secret adoption being discovered someday, causing a crisis of legitimacy. And it would hopefully bind the royal siblings together, after many years apart.

"When you hear her name, you'll think it's even more appropriate." Azula was practically shaking with suppressed glee.

Amused, he remembered the opera and guessed, "It's not—"

"She'll be Izumi II."

"Is your brother also a scholar of the Golden Age?" Raiden wondered.

She shook her head. "I don't know. He was a better student than he was a firebender, but I don't remember if he had any particular interest in the post-unification period. Of course, I haven't seen him in over a decade by now."

"Honoring his daughter this way might be a good way for you to mend that relationship," he pointed out. The image of his love as a doting aunt charmed him. He liked the idea of her as the center of a multigenerational royal family, presiding over a country whose future was secure for years to come.

"That's my hope," she agreed, then squeezed Raiden's arm for emphasis. "I'm not sure he'll stay unless I offer something like this, and if I make Izumi my heir and then later disinherit her in favor of an adopted child, that would alienate him again. That was why I asked you tonight."

"I understand."

"I want you by my side when Zuko and I meet again. You'll keep me from offending him. He's very sensitive. Besides, you're part of my family. I certainly feel closer to you than to any of my blood relations." The soft, hopeful smile she gave him was tinged with a bit of sadness.

Moved by this expression of intimacy, Raiden kissed her, a short but fervent clasp of well-acquainted lips. Then, somewhat abruptly, he pulled away and sat up. Mystified, she followed suit, brow furrowing.

Raiden gathered his courage, reminding himself of how much she'd grown, and the signs of love she'd given him tonight. Where once she had interrogated servants to find a spy, now she was contemplating giving up her power by re-forming the Assembly. She'd returned his unconstrained, amorous kiss, and it had moved her to tears. She had just said he made her happier than even Aang could have. Since he'd witnessed her devastation at the end of her hopes for that ill-conceived relationship, he knew better than anyone what that meant. And now she was anticipating spending the rest of her life with him, even going so far as to ready herself to make a foolish sacrifice for his sake.

He still wasn't sure how she would react, but figured that at this point, confessing was as safe as it was ever going to be. If he waited any longer and told her later, that would be worse. He couldn't continue to deceive her, not when she was already so invested. True intimacy demanded honesty.

He took her hands in his and spoke solemnly, resolving not to sugarcoat or minimize his actions.

"Before we make any more future plans, I have a confession to make."

Author's Note: What do you think will happen next? Let me know in a review! Thanks for reading.