Open when you should be celebrating your birthday…
Serena decides to work on her birthday, since she doesn't need a reminder that Bernie can't share it with her in person. If she's a little picky about who she's on shift with, well, it's a perk of the job to choose the best team for her birthday, a team she knows will make the whole day easier to get through.
When she wakes up, Jason has made her breakfast, simple scrambled egg on toast but totally appreciated. He wishes her happy birthday as he slides over a card and a present. It makes her heart fill with love all over again. She may not have known this boy all his life, but she does care deeply for him.
She sips her coffee as she sets about opening the cards that have arrived in the post over the last few days: One from her cousin in Sydney, a few from former colleagues, a rather inappropriate one from Fleur and even one from Grace, her oldest uni friend. She's disappointed when she doesn't have one from Bernie but knows she can't blame the other woman. She knows that Bernie would have tried, but she is in a warzone.
She arrives at work in good spirits. She's greeted with hugs from Morven, since she's always so excited about other people's birthdays, even if they themselves aren't.
When she walks into the office to deposit her bags, she can't help but notice the vase filled with lilies on her desk. The smell alone is amazing, and they are gorgeous. She walks forward and extracts the little card attached.
My Dearest Serena,
Happy Birthday!
All My Love, Bernie,
Your Big Macho Army Medic x
The message is typed onto the card, but Serena can't help but run her thumb gently over Bernie's name.
She turns to the messily wrapped present then, and really she shouldn't have expected anything less from her girlfriend. She caresses the crimson ribbon before pulling it loose. She's just slipping her finger into the paper when the red phone starts ringing.
She places the gift gently on her desk before venturing out to face whatever awful injury she's going to be dealing with. It's a 22-year-old stab victim. She and Raf try endlessly to save the boy, named Sean, but in the end, they fail. After resuscitating him three times they decide the fourth just isn't going to happen and that he's already lost too much blood.
Breaking the news of the loss to the family is the hardest thing to do, it always is. It's just always felt a little bit harder since Bernie deployed, likely because of her own fears that one day it could be her on the receiving end of the conversation.
Things get busy after that. Morven needs a second opinion on a patient and Raf requests her support in surgery. The messily wrapped package slips from her mind until she makes it back into the office with a very late lunch picked up from Pulses. Taking a sip of the strong hot coffee, she sets back to sliding the paper off the present.
Underneath the paper is an envelope, the message in Bernie's messy writing reads "Serena - Open when you should be celebrating your birthday…" And the beautiful ornamental figure she'd been contemplating buying herself before Bernie went away but just couldn't justify is laying in her hands.
And once again Serena feels like she doesn't deserve Bernie. Bernie who once again went out of her way to think of her while getting herself ready to go to a war zone. They are just over two months into the nine months her love will be gone, and it hasn't been easy on either of them, but somehow Bernie keeps finding ways to make it easier for her, to help her get through.
She turns to the card next, sliding it out of the envelope. It's a stunning design, with a map of Afghanistan on one side including Bernie's name, and a map of England on the other side with her own name written there. The names are connected by a swirling heart.
It's the message that sets the whole thing off perfectly. "Though oceans may lie between us, we are never far apart for love doesn't count miles. It's measured by the heart." Serena smiles gently because she knows that Bernie doesn't find declarations like this easy but it's exactly what Serena needs right now. She knows her love for Bernie hasn't changed at all since she went away, but she also knows her heart yearns for her.
As she opens the card, Serena's eyes fall on the voucher inside. She scans over the word—a spa weekend—something she's been promising herself for far too long but has never actually got around to. She shakes her head softly, thinking Bernie really shouldn't have spent all this money on her. Then she reads the message written on the card.
My Dearest Serena,
Happy birthday, My Love! I hope you are able to have a wonderful day. I'm sorry I can't be with you but I'll give you a special belated birthday once I'm home.
I hope the spa voucher is okay, I know you've been talking about going and I thought this would be the perfect opportunity to treat you to a weekend away with Elinor. I've already sorted out the shifts so all you need to do is go and relax.
What do they say about birthdays, another year older, another year wiser? Well, maybe this is me telling you to be a little bit wiser and to make sure you spend some time putting yourself first. I'm sorry I don't get to spend this special day with you, but that doesn't mean I don't want you to enjoy it.
Once again, happy birthday!
All My Love, Bernie,
Your Big Macho Army Medic x
Serena can't help but feel a little overwhelmed at this. She'd mentioned wanting to spend more time with Elinor and also wanting to go to a spa and now Bernie has given her a chance to do both despite the fact Elinor hasn't really warmed to Bernie. And despite the fact Bernie finds her own lack of relationship with Charlotte hard. Serena is determined to enjoy her weekend away and she is going to make sure Bernie's belated birthday is something special when she gets home.
At the end of the shift Morven, Fletch and Raf pull her to Albie's for drinks. "You can't not come out for a nice glass of Shiraz on your birthday," had been Fletcher's response when she'd tried to say no. So, she gave in because she had to admit, a glass of Shiraz sounded divine.
They are seated around a small table joking about the worst birthdays they've ever had due to work, Fletcher having been vomited on seven times during one birthday shift.
Suddenly Serena feels her phone vibrate in her pocket and quickly slips it out to see Bernie is trying to skype her, she should have known Bernie would ensure she found time to ring on her birthday, and she's going to answer it because it may be the only spare seconds Bernie gets.
"Hello," she says the minute the connection is made. Bernie is still in her desert fatigues, her hair still scraped back into the army acceptable manner, so she could easily be called away at any moment. The lines under her eyes are the darkest Serena has seen so far and she looks beyond exhausted but to Serena, she still looks beautiful.
"Hey, and happy birthday, my love." Serena smiles and then watches Bernie's face as she works out where she is. "Oh shit, you're busy, I'll try and ring you later."
"Berenice Wolfe, don't you dare! Yes, I'm at Albie's with our friends but I always have time for you when you call, you know that! I'm so thankful you took the time to call me today! I know how busy you are." It seems it's only as she says Bernie's name that the rest of the table realises who she's skyping.
In unison they stand up and walk to stand behind Serena so they can be seen in the camera, and so they can see Bernie on Serena's screen.
"Hey up, Major, you alright?" Fletch says not really giving Bernie a chance to process what she's seeing.
"I'm good, it's lovely to see you guys." She says, smiling back brightly. "I hope you're looking after the birthday girl for me when I can't be there to do it myself."
"Be assured, Ma'am, we are," Raf jokes back, giving her a tiny salute. Neither he or Fletch have been able to refer to Bernie properly to her face since she announced she was deploying again but it's all good natured.
"Though we practically had to drag her to Albie's, well, until we offered her a glass of Shiraz." Morven adds. Morven has found Bernie's deployment really tough, since the two of them have such a good relationship.
"Well, you know, Serena, if you have Shiraz, you always have a bargaining tool. But now go and enjoy your drinks and leave me to have a few minutes with my girlfriend!" Serena knows this means they probably haven't got long.
The three call their goodbyes to Bernie and all slip off to either the bar or the toilet. leaving Serena alone.
"Hey," Serena says again, enjoying this time when she gets to hear Bernie's voice.
"Hey, yourself, have you had a nice day?" Bernie always asks first. Serena has come to accept it, and understands it's Bernie's way of escaping for a few minutes.
"It's been good, busy, lost a patient but saved more that shouldn't have really been able to be saved. It got better when you called. You know I love hearing your voice." At this Bernie looks at her with that look full of love, the one that Serena knows would normally come from under her fringe.
"The feeling's mutual, hearing your voice always gets me through a bad day." And Serena knows then why Bernie looks so tired and while she's still dressed in fatigues despite the late hour in Afghanistan. It's been a bad day in the field. Serena knows Bernie won't talk anymore about it, especially not today, so she changes the subject.
"The birthday presents were wonderful, thank you. The figurine is beautiful even if you shouldn't have. The spa looks incredible and how you managed to sort the shifts I don't know. You really are so very thoughtful, how you managed that while sorting out to deploy so quickly, I have no idea."
And she really doesn't. Serena knows how much Bernie had to do before deployment. She was running every day to build her stamina back up, she had to attend base every day for two weeks to ensure she was fit, could still shoot a rifle and was still able to command the soldiers. Don't they know she's co-lead of AAU? If she can lead the team there, she can lead anyone. She had to tie up all the ends of the trauma unit leaving them in a manageable way for her and Raf. She had to pack that stupidly heavy bergen, a bag so big that Serena can't even believe she's allowed to carry it, all while working in AAU, feeling bad enough about having nine months away from the place so refusing to take any more, and despite all of that she was still the foremost thing on Bernie's mind.
"You are worth it and so much more. Just promise me you'll actually relax at the spa, enjoy being a mum to Elinor. Catch up on all her crazy uni gossip, drink too much Shiraz and have a good time." Serena knows Bernie wants her and Elinor to have more of a relationship than she herself has with Charlotte and Cameron. Cam still has a very professional work relationship with his mum but that's about it and Charlotte hasn't really spoken to Bernie since the divorce and she knows it breaks Bernie's heart.
"You had me at too much Shiraz, love, I'll write you a bluey while I'm there, in between all the spa treatments you managed to book. I really do appreciate it, you know. I love you." The last three words are the only way she can truly get her appreciation across.
"And I love you, sweetheart, but now go and enjoy your birthday drinks with our friends. I'll make contact again when I can. Remember that I love and miss you so much. And happy birthday again, darling."
"Thank you, I love you too Bernie, so much. Stay safe, soldier."
Serena doesn't have any time to worry or miss Bernie, a fresh glass of Shiraz is placed into her hand as the call disconnects and she spends the evening laughing and joking with her friends. Even Jason joins them when his shift as a porter ends, and she falls asleep that evening knowing she couldn't ask for a better family of friends.