Catherine Halsey was not having a good day. In fact, she was having the very opposite of a good day. A rather terrible day, in fact.
First contact-peaceful first contact-between humankind and an alien species (well, a conglomerate of species) had occurred near Arcadia. After a standoff that certainly would give the history books ample material for dramatization, the alien Covenant had pledged to faithfully serve and protect humanity.
…the resultant confusion from such a declaration pulled Halsey away from her work on the Spartan Program, as ONI ordered her to figure out what the flying fuck was going on, if it was something they needed to worry about, or if they could accept the aliens without hesitation.
Apparently, the majority within the Covenant, a race known as the Sangheili, worshipped the technology of an even older, long-lost alien species called the Forerunners, and had devices that could detect Forerunner technology. According to a Sangheili representative they had the… pleasure of speaking with, one Thel 'Vadamee (a devout Zealot but certainly not a diplomat by any definition of the word) humans registered as relics, so therefore, humans were either products of the gods and deserving of worship, or the gods' chosen people.
It had caused quite a stir in the Covenant, to be sure. Some, particularly the High Prophets and the rest of their species, declared that humans were heretics and false gods, which led to a schism in the bloated theocracy.
Halsey didn't care. Civil war, politics, all those things were trite and disinteresting. She didn't much care for political posturing and maneuvering.
What she did care about, however, was the development that, as a significant portion of the Covenant's military pledged service to the UNSC, they were sent out to take care of the budding insurrection, under the guise of the Prophets' groups attempting to wage a holy war.
Thus, rendering her Spartan Program entirely superfluous.
The entire reason the Spartans were envisioned were to put down the Insurrection in secret, to prevent a full-scale civil war. With the Prophets' Covenant as a convenient scapegoat, the need for top-secret supersoldier programs was, well, questioned.
So, they shut her down. But there was a problem.
The program had been aborted mid-way through training, ONI having shut it down before any more resources could be sunk into the experimental augmentation procedures, MJOLNIR development, et cetera.
But the flash clones of the candidates had long since died off already. ONI couldn't just go back and say "Whoops, turns out the kid that died was some completely random other kid! Sorry for the inconvenience."
There would be questions. And if even one person managed to stumble into the truth, it had the potential to ignite the sort of very conflict the Spartan Program had been designed to prevent.
So, you see ONI's problem now. They had seventy-six loose ends (those being Halsey and the rest of the candidates), a vested interest in keeping her around since she was one of the best thinkers in human history (being modest, of course), and an inability to just turn the teenagers loose, be that in orphanages, or putting them in the military.
Plus, Paragnosky liked to make Halsey squirm. That bitch.
And so it was that Doctor Catherine Halsey found herself in the unenviable position of being the sole caretaker for seventy-five fourteen-year-olds.
She regretted taking ONI's offer now. She really should've taken the BMRF up on their offer, but theoretical physics was such a dead-end job now.
…but shit, if she had, maybe she wouldn't be having to corral seventy-five teens off a private transport and into a kiva.
Oh, and that was another thing! ONI had decided that, instead of setting them up someplace nice, the Doctor and her would've-been Spartans would be right at home on a lone farming compound in Visegrád.
"Is this it?" 104- no, Fred, they weren't going to be soldiers anymore- questioned with a noticeable grimace on his face.
So, he wasn't a fan of the "farming" idea either. Well, at least she didn't have to suffer alone.
"It looks old." Maria commented, lightly tapping a chunk of concrete nearby, the stone crumbling.
"This can't be safe." Serin scoffed, looking at the buildings in the compound with thinly-veiled disgust.
The sound of more stone crumbling caught Halsey's attention, and her head snapped over to John. The boy had been trying to lean on one of the scattered walls, only for it to give way.
Halsey swore to God, when she found the REMF that stuck her in this backwoods death trap-
"I think we should look on the bright side." Jorge spoke, endlessly optimistic despite, well, being sent to a farm far away to stay for a while, and being told he wouldn't be going back to the place he considered home for a while, if ever. "At least we won't have to eat the food from the mess hall."
Everyone, including Halsey, forgot the squalor of their surroundings, and nodded in agreement.
Well… working a farm wouldn't be so bad, would it? She knew how to get equipment, via legal means or otherwise, outside the bounds of ONI's self-proclaimed all seeing eye. She could do her research and peace…
And not have to worry about the children in her care dying horrible deaths to experimental medical procedures, or being thrown into a civil war.
Yeah, she could make this work.
"Okay, children." Halsey addressed them all, every one of them looking, naturally, to the adult for guidance, even the troublemakers. "Our first priority should be to take stock of everything that's here…" She turned away, muttering, "And to figure out what the hell to do if we're missing things."
One of the little hands shot up, and Halsey sighed. "Yes, Linda?"
"If we're out of food, can I go hunting?" She asked, innocently blinking.
"Did she say we're out of food!?" Serin gasped in alarm.
"No food!?" Naomi hollered.
"We're all gonna starve!" Solomon hysterically shouted.
"No, no, no!" Halsey tried to calm them all. "We're not going to starve. We're going to get this place into order, we're going to get to work together, and we're going to survive! The program may be finished, but you are all still Spartans!"
"Yeah!" John boisterously shouted. "We've got this! Everybody, break into teams and assess the compound! Break!"
Halsey barely had time to blink as control of the situation was wrestled from her, and the stampede of teens swarmed together and began moving in different directions.
The woman sighed, but was happy the children were at least listening to her.
Well, since everyone was looking around, she might as well do the same.
"Oh my God," Alice gagged as she looked at a corpse in one of the farmhouses.
"What the hell is that?" Douglas wondered, the body rotted beyond recognition.
"It's dead, that's probably what it is." Jerome retorted. A frown appeared on his features, and he lightly kicked it. "Yep, dead."
"…" Will stared at the body, blinking. "I'm gonna eat it." He seemingly decided out of the blue.
Everybody snapped to look at him, shocked and repulsed.
"Dude," Grace spoke up, "What the fuck is wrong with you?"
"What?" Will shrugged. "That's still good meat."
"It's a rotting corpse!" Li raised his voice. "The meat's rancid! Look at that, it's got maggots in it!"
"Maggots," Will held up a finger, "Are a form of grubs. And as everyone knows, rancid meat and grubs are considered delicacies in some cultures. Now, help me get this thing outside. Time to get cooking." He grabbed the dead creature, dragging it out into the open.
"If you die because you ate a corpse, I will laugh." Alice cantankerously pointed at Will.
"Oh, quiet, you love my quirks." Will flashed her a smile as he pulled the carcass out into the sun, tripping and falling on a root in the ground.
John lifted the rolling garage door, peering into the farming compound's garage. He'd expected to find the standard farming equipment. You know, tractors, lawnmowers, combine harvesters, things of that nature.
What he did not expect to find was an absolutely ancient muscle car.
"Dude!" Fred excitedly ran in, pushing past John to get a closer look at the car. "We scored!"
"Really?" Kelly frowned, a distasteful grimace on her face. Panels on the body were missing, parts of the basic frame replaced by what looked like pipes welded into place to preserve the basic silhouette, and what panels were left were all mis-matched and discolored, taken from a dozen different sources. "This thing doesn't even look like it could make it to the end of the block."
"Hey, this is a classic car!" Fred retorted, "A 1974, Plymouth Barracuda! This is history, here!" He turned his attention to the car, gently caressing its bodywork. "Don't you listen to mean old Kelly…"
"…let's take it for a spin." John decided.
"Hell yeah!" Fred didn't need to be asked twice as he hopped into the driver's seat. "Oh my God, the keys are in the ignition!"
"Wait, no!" Kelly tried to step forward to stop them, "This is a horrible idea! Look at those shock absorbers, they look like they'd snap at the first sign of stress!"
Fred ignored her, turning the key, and the engine crunk up, the ancient vehicle spitting out backfire out its tailpipe.
John climbed into the passenger seat, and Kelly looked at him sufferingly. "Not you too…"
"We have to get to know the area." John retorted, to cover up that he figured 'old car + hills = fun.'
"All right," Linda climbed into the back seat, flopping down, "I can work with that."
"Linda…" Kelly groaned.
"How about it?" Fred asked, flashing her a smile.
Kelly stared at him, before sighing, climbing in the back next to Linda. "Wait, there aren't any seatbelts."
"Guess you guys will have to do it the old-fashioned way." Fred snarked.
"Old-" Kelly began to repeat, before being thrown back against the seat as Fred gunned it, the car going screeching out of the garage.
"Hold on and pray!"
Doctor Halsey walked through her new abode, through the curved concrete corridors of the main building on the homestead. She had to consider herself fortunate, of course, that ONI decided to relocate her instead of silencing her.
Even if they gave her a home that looked like it hadn't been lived in for a hundred years. At least the concrete inside had held better than the stone outside.
Call her squeamish, though, but she still wasn't a fan of the idea of living in a structure on the edge of a mountain that could potentially not be strong enough to hold up when a rockslide comes by.
Well, if nothing else, the homestead had ample room for all of them.
Walking over to a nearby counter, Halsey grabbed the laptop out of her bag, sitting it down and opening it. The machine booted up, a small data crystal chip in the external drive slot flashing as it began to receive power.
"Ah, hello, Doctor Halsey." A polite, gentlemanly voice emanated from the computer's speakers.
"Good morning, Jerrod." The doctor returned, feeling comfortable with the added familiarity to her surroundings that the AI added.
"Am I to conclude that our relocation has finally been followed through with?" The program assumed.
Halsey sighed, rubbing her face. "Unfortunately."
"Very good, ma'am." Jerrod stood calm in the face of uncertainty, as always. "So, what is our next move?"
"Hm," Halsey grunted, "Our next move should be making this damnable farmstead livable." She replied, typing into the laptop as she spoke, doing a search for lab equipment on waypoint. "And getting a proper lab in order. If ONI thinks that I'm going to stop because of a lack of resources, they haven't the first iota of who they're dealing with."
"Ah, will this be a legitimate shopping spree, or shall I go to the more… illicit sites?" Jerrod replied.
"Keep it legal, for now." The woman answered. "Food and farm equipment isn't likely to be easy to find-" She cut herself off, looking up as she heard what sounded like a chainsaw engine going at full speed…
"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-"
Followed by Fred and John's unmistakable voices whooping at the top of their lungs, Kelly and Linda's screams, and a crash. Suddenly, the window behind her shattered as a lone tire came bouncing through, narrowly missing the doctor and the computer on which Jerrod was held.
Halsey clenched her fists, shaking as she ground her teeth, before storming outside.
She was not pleased with what she saw.
"What in the name of God!?" Halsey bellowed, looking around. John, Fred, Kelly, and Linda had somehow gotten a car on top of one of the storerooms, Will and the rest of Red Team were enduring violent vomiting fits, and the rest of the Spartans were just sitting on the sidelines, watching the chaos.
"Sorry!" Fred called down from the building. "But did you guys see that jump!?"
"I missed it!" Li replied. "Do it again!"
"Again!" Half of the Spartans chorused, and Doctor Halsey's eyes twitched as she felt her teeth involuntarily grinding.
And so went the first day of the rest of her life… having to take care of seventy-five repressed teens that now didn't have to worry about decorum or protocol.
God have mercy on her soul.