The rest of her day was spent listening to Ambrosia prattle on about whatever topic sprung into her mind. It was safe to say that the affection she'd felt for her escort earlier in the day was all but gone, as for the last half an hour they'd had to endure a story about some Capitol socialite vomiting all over his own shoes. No one was finding it particularly compelling.
"And then the poor dear had to try and mop it up with a napkin, oh it was so humiliating-"
"When will we be arriving in 12?" Hebe asked, tragically cutting the woman's story short.
"Hebe, manners." Ambrosia chided, "We will be reaching the station at around midday. Now, can I continue?" She asked, her voice harsh.
She ignored her question, irritated by the woman's laissez faire attitude, "And do I have to prepare speeches? What's the protocol, the itinerary?"
Her escort began to splutter slightly, taken aback by how rude the girl was being, but Hebe couldn't bring herself to care. Why should she have to listen to this woman drone on for hours when tomorrow she would have to face the entirety of district 12?
"Hebe." Finnick whispered sharply in her ear, warning her that she was going too far, but she just brushed him off, continuing to stare at Ambrosia who was finally starting to regain her composure.
"Young lady, I was just about to get onto those matters, if you had given me a moment to finish. But if you are going to act like this then I will just cut to the chase, hm?"
"That'd be much appreciated."
Ambrosia took in a breath, before beginning.
"Tomorrow we will be arriving in district 12, the first of the districts on our tour. You will be required to make a small speech, a sort of eulogy to the fallen tributes of that district. I have already prepared cards for you to read. Afterwards is a brief meeting with the other victors of that district, and then we're on the train again. This will continue for next week and a half, where we will arrive in the Capitol and attend parties and celebrations. You will also be presenting your chosen skill to the public on TV with Caesar Flickerman. Is that a sufficient itinerary for you dear?"
Hebe nodded, her face remaining neutral as Ambrosia leant back in her chair again, almost immediately launching into another spiel about her social life. She couldn't help but roll her eyes, not wanting to be stuck in the compartment for another minute.
"I'll be off to bed now. Goodnight." She said brashly, before turning and striding through the train to her room, ignoring the sound of footsteps following quickly behind her.
She had just placed her hand on the door knob when she felt someone grab her shoulder, forcing her to spin around and confront them. Of course, it was Finnick who had followed her, his eyes steely, but slightly confused.
"What's gotten into you? You were fine a few hours ago and then all of a sudden you're blowing up at Ambrosia for no reason."
"No reason?" She gawked at him, keeping her voice down to refrain from shouting, "There she was wittering away about her stupid Capitol life, meanwhile tomorrow I have to go out and give a speech to a whole district who hates me because I won the fucking hunger games!"
"She's just trying to do her job, Hebe, just like the rest of us." He said, sighing.
"Her job? Her job's fucking pointless! All she does is swan about and look down on us because we're poor district scum." She responded, gesturing wildly.
"Listen, I know you're anxious, and I know you're upset, but we just need to-"
"Of course I'm anxious! Are you not anxious? I've got two weeks, and then Snow's going to destroy my life, and she's seriously talking like her heel breaking is the biggest problem there is to have in the world. And you know what, I'm sick of it. I'm sick of having to listen to her whinge about nothing."
It was at that that Finnick finally snapped at her.
"You're sick of it? How do you think everyone else feels, huh? We've been putting up with this shit for years, Hebe. You seriously think I give a shit about every stupid elite's problems? No! But I do what I have to do to survive, and right now you're not going to survive if you keep trampling all over everyone who irritates you!"
Hebe stared at him, not knowing what to say in response, but refusing to back down by looking away first.
"Go to bed Hebe. We'll talk in the morning, for now just-" He stopped himself, seeming like he wanted to say more. "Just get some rest, ok?"
"You too." She replied, before spinning back around, before retreating back into her room, and collapsing into her bed.
She was woken up the next morning by a loud knocking on her door, and she quickly jumped out of bed, rubbing her eyes as she tried to make out whoever it was that seemed to want to talk to her.
"Ambrosia. Good morning." She said, smiling at the woman slightly guiltily.
"You too dear. I've been sent to wake you up for breakfast, and then Tigris will be putting you in your next outfit for the day."
Hebe nodded, and watched as the woman turned to walk away, before calling out for her to wait.
To tell the truth, she knew she had been out of line as soon as she'd opened her mouth the night before. She had just been unable to see it at the time, but after sleeping on it, she was certain in her conviction that she should apologise to Ambrosia. After all, it would make her tour even more difficult than it already was if she was arguing with her escort.
"I'm really sorry about last night, Ambrosia, I didn't mean to be so rude to you. You're just doing your job, it's not your fault."
The woman seemed slightly taken aback by the girl's sudden apology, but her face quickly morphed into a bright smile.
"Apology accepted. I know you're under a lot of pressure at the moment, but just know, I'm very proud of you Hebe."
She turned on her heel and strode quickly down the corridor, and Hebe sighed in relief glad that her apology had been well received. She shut her door again, quickly stripping off her night clothes and putting the ones she had been wearing the day before back on. She tugged her messy hair up into a ponytail, not bothering to fix her appearance anymore, as she knew no matter what they did her prep team would have an issue with it.
When Hebe reached the dining car, the food was all laid out, but it seemed no one had turned up yet. She shrugged her shoulders, sitting down and beginning to pile food on her plate. She still had the same approach as she did the first time she had Capitol food; shove as much in before it disappears.
"Building up stores for the winter are we?" Finnick remarked as he strode in, taking note of her plate piled high with toast. It appeared he had gotten over their little argument the night before. Hebe couldn't help but feel relieved, she didn't want to be arguing with him right now.
She raised a hand to flip him off, halting when she saw Mags just behind him and chose to wave at the older woman instead.
"Morning Hebe," The woman smiled.
"Good morning Mags."
"Hey! Where's my good morning?" Finnick asked, his voice indignant as he spread jam on a piece of toast.
"You don't deserve one."
He flicked her forehead at that, before returning to shoving his own face with food.
"Oh, yeah, did you apologise to Ambrosia?" He asked, not bothering to finish his mouthful before speaking and spraying crumbs everywhere.
"You're such a boy sometimes," She chided, but neither she nor Mags could stifle their amusement, "And yes, I did. She seemed to get over it pretty quickly."
Finnick just gave her a thumbs up this time, Mags nodding her head sagely.
"What's 12 like?" She asked suddenly, staring into her glass of juice. It was strange to think that she'd never been to any of the other districts, even though some were relatively close by. It was also strange to Hebe that each district was so different. They all had different terrains and customs, and different people living out their lives. She'd never given it much thought before the games, before she'd met tributes from other districts and before she had time to think about anything but survival. Now she was constantly fascinated by the other parts of Panem.
"Miserable." Finnick scoffed, and noticed Mags' harsh glare at him. "What? It's true. It's cold and bleak and tiny."
"It's not all bad. Nice people." Mags said, her gaze slightly reminiscent, "Haymitch. Very nice."
Hebe frowned slightly, her brow furrowing slightly as she tried to remember where she knew the name from.
"What Haymitch? Drunk Haymitch?" She asked. All Hebe had ever heard about the victor was his alcohol habits and crabby demeanour.
"The very same." Finnick grinned, "You'll love him. You're both miserable bastards."
"Finnick!" A cry from the door came just as he swore, and Ambrosia strode in, glaring daggers at the boy. Sometimes the Capitol woman really could be a stickler.
"Sorry." He said, not looking sorry at all, shooting a sly wink at Hebe from across the table.
"I really don't know what to do with you sometimes, mister, you can be so very immature!" She turned her wrathful gaze to Hebe next, and she prepared herself for a similar verbal beating, but something in her face softened as she looked at the girl, "Hebe, dear, Tigris is asking for you."
She stifled her amusement at Finnick's indignant expression, nodding and excusing herself from the table. She straightened the hem of her shirt slightly before going into the car she knew to house all of her outfits, and tucked a few stray strands behind her ears. She didn't want to get entirely crucified for her appearance.
"Hebe! Come in darling, come in!" Blaire rushed forward to welcome her in, nearly stumbling over yet another bag filled with items.
"We're just ready for you now!" Boa exclaimed, spinning a chair around so she could sit down. Hebe greeted them all graciously, and they immediately got to work prodding her as they always did.
Luckily all of the major beautification treatments had been done the day before in Victor's village, so she wasn't subjected to the usual waxing and pulling. Instead they dedicated their time solely to makeup, opting for a rather dramatic smokey eye, more than likely to represent the coal District 12 was famous for mining. Hebe found it all to be rather over the top, especially when she was told she'd be wearing an all black outfit too. However, she supposed she could be dressed up as a coal miner, so things could always be worse.
Eventually they were done with her, and she was sent to Tigris who was in a closed off section of the room separated by a screen.
"I hear I'm being dressed up like a piece of coal?" She remarked as she walked in, raising her eyebrows at her stylist.
"Hey, don't blame me, blame Snow. He likes the victors to dress to represent the district they're visiting," Tigris shrugged, standing to collect a black bag from the rails and rails of outfits in the room.
She unzipped it, and Hebe was relieved to see something slightly less obvious than she expected. Although, of course, it was Tigris, so what did she expect?
She quickly pulled on the black tights, black skirt, black boots, and, of course, black top and black jacket. It was surprisingly warm, despite the skirt being slightly skimpy, and she assumed the tights must have some kind of thermal lining.
"I'd love to say that's all, but I have something else for you…" Tigris said regretfully, rummaging through a box to her side and producing a fabric version of a miners cap.
"Ugh, you've got to be kidding me." She groaned, snatching the cap out of her stylist's grasp.
The older woman laughed roughly, insisting that it hadn't been her decision and the higher ups had forced it on her.
"All of your tour outfits are personally approved by Snow's minions. I present my ideas and they can tweak them however they like. Although, being as talented as I am, there aren't usually many corrections." She said casually, fixing the lapel on Hebe's jacket and removing any wrinkles from her tights.
Hebe tried to react to this information like any normal, sane person would, laughing along with her friend and praising her designs. But internally, her mind was reeling. She thought of how strange she felt in such a short skirt and low cut top, and her brain couldn't help but jump to the worst, but still most probable, conclusion. Her victory tour was an advertisement, and advertisement for her services, showing off her body so she was more appealing to the Capitol citizens.
So she was easier to prostitute.
She couldn't help but worry how it was going to progress from here. She remembered back to her own games, the outfits Finnick was forced to wear so he looked practically naked. She couldn't think of anything worse than being exposed like that, and on national television no doubt. Yet it was becoming a fast approaching reality for Hebe.
Tigris was the one to snap her out of her spiralling panic.
"Right! All done." She checked her watch, "We should be arriving in 12 soon, so you better go before Ambrosia hunts you down."
Hebe nodded, thanking the older woman once again before rushing quickly out of the room, her feet leading her down the length of the train. She didn't have any destination in particular, she just knew she needed some space, away from other people.
Eventually she found herself in the car at the very back of the train, the one where she had watched the reapings and seen her competition for the first time. A sobering thought then struck her; she was the only one of that group left alive. All those people she had seen on the monitor that day were dead, some of them by her own hand.
She thought of the pair from district 12, how weak they had both been. She knew as soon as she saw them they had no chance. Today she'd have to make a speech to their entire district, who would undoubtedly hate her for coming home instead of their friends and family.
At least I didn't kill them.
No, she didn't kill them, but who was to say she didn't bear some small part in their deaths. And, soon she would have to travel to other districts, where she did kill tributes. Even worse, next she would have to travel to 11 and face her dead allies' families. She'd have to stare at their grinning faces on those billboards and apologise that it was her coming back and not them.
Hebe sighed deeply, trying to bring herself out of the spiral she could feel herself going down. She clasped her necklace in her hand, moving her thumb over her fathers wedding ring, trying to lose herself in happier memories. Memories from before her games, and before his death.
Memories of her mother planting her flowers, and her father returning home at night. She shut her eyes tightly, casting away anything that could remind her of where she really was, and the reality she was having to face, and instead get lost in old daydreams.
She wasn't allowed long for herself though, because as soon as she felt her heart rate begin to steady, the door to the train car burst open.
"Hey, we're here, it's time to go." A familiar voice said, and she snapped open her eyes, returning the soft, guilty smile that was on Finnick's face.
"Ok." She stood up, smoothing down her clothes so as not to receive a lashing from Tigris about ruining her handiwork, and stepped out of the room with her old mentor.
"Nice cap." He said, trying to lighten the mood ever so slightly.
"Don't. Even Tigris thought it was too much."
"I think the whole outfit is a bit too much."
"Tell me about it."
"I mean, you look like a lump of coal."
"Wow, you really do know how to make a girl feel special, you know that?" Hebe rolled her eyes, nudging him playfully.
"So I've been told."
They came to the centre of the train, where Tigris, Ambrosia and Mags were all standing waiting for them.
"Hebe! Don't run off like that, you were nearly late!" Ambrosia scolded, unable to help herself, even though Hebe was pretty sure she was right on time.
"Sorry. So, what's happening?"
"Well, first of all, you'll be taken to the square, district 12 is rather small so you won't need to go in the van with the peacekeepers," Ambrosia explained, fussing about her, fixing things about her appearance that almost certainly didn't need to be fixed. Nonetheless, Hebe was glad she wouldn't need to spend any time alone with peacekeepers. "And then, at the Town Hall, the Mayor will give a small speech, and then you will give yours. Finally, it's time to meet with the victor, and then it's back on the train so we can make it to 11 by tomorrow."
"All right." Hebe nodded.
"Ok! Let's go! Remember to smile!" Ambrosia said, sliding the door open as Hebe plastered her winning smile onto her face. It was so natural now that she didn't even feel out of practice, smiling and waving to the crowd.
She noticed that the people of District 12, as expected, weren't nearly as enthused about seeing her as the Capitol reporters were. They shouted question after question at her, but she continued to walk forward, laughing coyly at one or two more 'personal' questions. Almost certainly Snow's influence.
Finally, after what seemed like years, they reached the car that was going to take them to the Town Hall. Hebe climbed quickly into the seat, slumping back in relief, already exhausted from that much pretence so early in the morning.
She noticed the way Finnick's smirk dropped from his face once they were out of sight as well, morphing back into an expression she was sure reflected her own. Mags was beside her in the car with Ambrosia and Tigris opposite the Victors.
"This is your speech." She said, handing Hebe a wad of cue cards, "You're allowed to make a few short remarks about the tributes if you were particularly close during the games, but I don't think that will be necessary today. The tributes from 12 were Maggie and Ian."
"Thanks Ambrosia."
For once, her escort was 100% right. There would be no need for additional remarks, especially since she'd only learnt their names 30 seconds ago. She looked at the cards in her hand, scanning over the words printed on the paper, and the Capitol symbol embossed on the back. It was no doubt filled with bullshit propaganda, but what other choice did she have?
She shoved them in a pocket in her jacket and turned her gaze back to the window.
Before long, the car halted outside a large, official building, and the doors were opened for Hebe. She stepped out, smiling at the gaunt figures huddled on each side of the steps. Her heart broke at the sight of the slim, starved forms, remembering how she'd been in their situation only a few months ago. Her smile faltered, but only slightly, and only for a moment, before she pushed forward, striding up the steps and into the white building.
Ambrosia was behind her almost immediately, ushering her forwards towards another set of double doors. She could faintly hear the sound of the Mayor introducing her to the crowd, and she took a deep breath to steel herself.
"Chin up, and stand up straight, you're on camera." She said, pushing the girl forward slightly as the doors opened up. Her smile was back on, and her feet moved without her meaning to, stepping out onto the stage.
The crowd clapped politely, and the mayor continued to speak into the microphone, although she couldn't hear much of it over the roaring in her ears. The clapping petered out and she turned her gaze up to the faces of the two smiling tributes, Maggie and Ian. Guilt washed over her, for not knowing them better. She looked at their families, who were staring at her impassively, clearly not knowing what to think of her.
She looked down and a little girl with a long braid was in front of her, holding a cushion with a pin of District 12's seal on it.
"It would be an honour if you wore this pin as a representation of our district." She spoke, clearly, and the population of 12 was so small that they probably all heard her.
Hebe smiled brightly at the girl, accepting, and letting her pin it onto her jacket. The girl then scurried away and Hebe stepped forward to shake hands with the Mayor. Now it was time for her speech.
She walked towards the edge of the stage, situating herself in front of the microphone they had set up for her. She pulled the cards from her jacket pocket and began to read, wishing she'd thought to have a more in depth look at them when she had the chance.
"People of District 12! It is both an honour and a pleasure to find myself in this beautiful district of yours on this day. But it is for both a happy and sad occasion that I am here with you today, I am happy to share with you my victory. Though it is my strength, forged in the crucible of the Games that was… my greatest prize of all. For it is this strength that gets us all through hardships that brings us to the end of the longest, hardest of nights and… brings us to a better, brighter tomorrow. It's a victory that I also owe to the… kindness and generosity of the Capitol, for their... unwavering faith and support for me. I shudder to think where I would be without it."
She blinked slightly, before turning again to the next card, wishing she had been given the option to write a speech for herself. She knew there would be some Capitol bullshit in there, but she hadn't expected this much.
"I also, however, want to share the sorrows of your losses. The tributes of this district, both Maggie and Ian, were great and noble warriors, who brought honour to their families, and pride to their people. And in their deaths, I see… I see myself. I see all of us, victors and vanquished, united in serving a common purpose, the… the power, and glory of the Capitol..."
She wanted to throw these stupid cards across the square, apologise to the families of the dead tributes and insist that she didn't believe any of what she was saying. But she knew she couldn't, instead she had to do the exact opposite, and make them think she believed it all wholeheartedly. Suddenly the badge on her jacket began to weigh even heavier than before, and she knew she needed to wrap it up before she vomited.
"...Panem today, Panem tomorrow, Panem forever." Hebe finished, trying to make the last words as convincing as possible.
The crowd resumed their clapping, and she looked back over at the families of the fallen tributes one last time before bowing and returning back to stand beside the Mayor. An assistant brought a large plaque forward, and he handed it to Hebe, who had to pose for a moment for the Capitol cameras. Then it was time for the closing remarks, and she was being rushed off of the stage again.
Her team was waiting for her on the other side.
"How'd I do?" She said hurriedly, trying to match Ambrosia's brisk steps as they moved deeper into the building.
"Well, you could've made it slightly more convincing…" The woman trailed off, raking her eyes over the girl as if she was about to critique her again, before deciding against it, "But that'll just come with practice. Now, we must begin preparations for the party this evening!"
Hebe looked over at Finnick for help, feeling slightly at a loss as everyone seemed to have neglected to mention a party. He shot her a guilty look as she was whisked away by Tigris into the backroom of a building.
The room was similar to the ones they had back at the training centre, having a feel that was almost surgical. She sat down on the seat (more like an operating slab) and waited for her stylist to return with her next outfit. God she missed when she could wake up every day and slap on whatever she found on her bedroom floor.
The dress she was to wear tonight was similar to the one from her pre-game interviews, except that it was in black and entirely backless, almost recklessly so.
"I'll just make sure not to lean over too far, yeah?" Hebe said, sighing. Tigris laughed a little, helping her into the garment.
The party was surprisingly uneventful, and that was a fact Hebe was eminently thankful for. The people of 12 were nice, just like anyone else. She did notice the people she met were noticeably better fed than those she had seen at the square earlier on. She knew how class divides could be in the Districts, and it unsettled her. After all, she was not from the upper classes herself.
Soon Ambrosia was dragging them all out of the building, insisting that they must push on and meet with Haymitch or they wouldn't get back to the train on time. They got back into the car and drove the short distance to Victors village, all of them pretty wiped out already from the party.
District 12 was the only district that, as of this moment, only had 1 victor, and as Hebe walked the gravel path up to the village, she was acutely aware of that fact. It was so silent there. She thought of the 7 victors that currently resided in 4, and she wondered how she would cope if she was the only one. It was no surprise that Haymitch had resorted to alcoholism, and she was sure if she were in his position Hebe wouldn't be much better.
Ambrosia and Mags walked up to his door and knocked, and eventually a man shakily opened the door. He narrowed his eyes at the Capitol escort, but once they landed on the elderly woman beside her, they softened considerably. Mags just seemed to have that effect on people.
He let them in begrudgingly, almost certainly sick of having to do this year after year, but well aware it was his duty.
"Haymitch Abernathy, District 12." He said, his voice tired and hoarse like he hadn't used it for a while. He stuck out his hand and Hebe shook it firmly.
"Hebe Cross. Nice to meet you."
"You were the one who slaughtered those Careers, huh?"
"That's me." She replied, slightly taken aback, but not massively offended. It wasn't surprising that was what she was known for, it had been a big part of her games.
"Nice work. I've gotta give you all a tour now don't I?"
He led them through his house, explaining to them random things about 12, reeling them off like a pre-prepared speech he had already rehearsed too many times. Finally they returned to the hallway. Normally, they would have tea and the Capitol would make them pose for photos, but clearly, due to his alcohol habits, Haymitch wasn't really a great candidate for those kinds of things, so they skipped it.
"It was a pleasure to meet you." She said, nodding at the man.
"Same here," He said, attempting a sort of smile at her, "Oi fish boy, you've got a good one here, don't get her in trouble, eh?"
Hebe snorted at the nickname, enjoying the way Finnick squirmed slightly as he assured Haymitch Hebe would be fine. They bid one last goodbye to the man, before clambering back into the car one last time, and finally returning to the train.