The first thing I see upon opening my eyes is cleavage. Grand. Its owner, Aria Shichijou, is still fast asleep. She's clinging onto me like a freakin' waifu pillow. There's also another body snuggling me from behind. Even though we're laying on the couch more diagonally than horizontally, I still recognize the manner of snuggling as being from none other than Uomi. I can barely move.

Thank Christ Aria doesn't wear pushup bras. Otherwise, my nose would have never had an opening to breathe all night. That's to say nothing, however, for the fact that the entire lower half of my face is on boob flesh right now. Grumbling at my predicament — which is a blessing, sure, though one gifted to the wrong individual — I raise my face as much as I can to look around and gain my bearings.

The first thing that catches my attention is Kotomi on her armchair looking at me with a playfully ridiculous grin and her eyes wide open. "You're so lucky, Artoria," she whispers. "You got sandwiched all night by the two biggest racks in the room!"

"Funny. I don't feel lucky."

From there, I continue my survey of the room, but I only succeed in re-confirming who's around right now. We said we wouldn't sleep, but almost all of us are splayed upon the furniture. Kotomi and Shino were lucky enough to snag an armchair each. I'm with Aria and Uomi, of course, against one end of the couch. I'm able to determine by sound alone that Suzu is on the opposite end, snoring up into the air like a howitzer.

With no small amount of effort, I manage to push myself up enough to at least get my face out of Aria's pillowy ta-tas, but my leverage ultimately fails me since my arm is so numb. Also, it's because it feels like with every inch I move, both Aria and Uomi subconsciously tighten their grips on me in their sleep. Thankfully, though, I don't collapse right back into Aria's chest. Instead, my cheek and chin come to rest atop the back of the couch. I'm still stuck, but at least this position is marginally less crushing.

At the dining table that's behind the couch remain all the leftovers from the games we played last night which we used to prevent ourselves from sleeping in this room. I still don't understand the reasoning behind that, since we were all going to be staying in the room overnight together, anyway. We would've just been sleeping together, not sleeping together, yet it made Kaede feel better, so we all just rolled with it. Aside from the games, Kaede and Takatoshi are seated closely at that same dining table, chatting quietly. I feel the sides of my mouth tugging up into a grin at the sight. There's not a hint of androphobia to be seen. I don't know if this means that Kaede Igarashi is cured now, or if it's just because she's become much more comfortable with Takatoshi. Either way, it's a step in the right direction, and I'm all for it.

The double-date yesterday was a resounding success, it seems. This is despite the fact that some of the girls left out had rushed to the park to spy on the double-date under the poorly disguised pretext of Shino and Suzu insisting that Aria give them a behind-the-scenes tour. Sure, there were tour-like elements here and there, but the fact that we just so happened to frequently find ourselves in security rooms which contained cameras that just so happened to shadow each step taken by Takatoshi and Kaede in sequential order was a dead giveaway. The only reason I'm here now, too, is because I wanted to prevent any possible retaliation born out of jealousy by Shino or Suzu, or both. As for Kotomi and the much more chill Uomi being here, as well? They couldn't help but tag along for their own intentions; namely the fact that this theme park is the highest-reviewed entertainment destination within this entire prefecture. Hell, Uomi, Kotomi, and I had run off to jump on some rides using VIP express passes during several points in the Kaede-Takatoshi date that proved benign enough to keep Shino and Suzu from going on the warpath. Well, either that, or when Shino and Aria got distracted watching Hanamaki doing something apparently very interesting to her boyfriend while they rode the Ferris wheel. Why Suzu stayed behind to watch that one, too, I'll probably never know.

As stated, the only two awake at this point are Takatoshi and Kaede. In fact, from what I can tell, they were the only ones out of all of us who kept the goal of staying up all night. Kaede is resting her chin against the back of her hand in a relaxed manner, and there's a soft smile on her face that refuses to go away as she intently listens to Takatoshi telling her a story about his and Kotomi's childhood. Whoa, have they been straight-up talking all this time? Also, is that a gleam of desire I'm catching in Kaede's eyes? Holy shit. Did I actually, really suffocate to death between Aria's cleavage, and wake up in another dimension, or something? Though to be fair, it could also just be my tired eyes and brain playing tricks on me.

My heightened hearing takes another minute or so to kick in from my sleep-deprived state. When it does, I'm able to pick up the tail-end of their latest topic. "What are you talking about?" asks Kaede. "There's a lot of power in your singing voice."

"Thanks, Igarashi. Although, goofing around with karaoke seems like a far cry from committing to, say, a serious singing career."

"You've got a lot of potential. Believe me. In fact, I think you should consider signing up for the Chorus Club. We'd love to have you onboard."

"I don't know. I might consider it."

Kaede beams. "Let me know if you do."

"By the way, I heard you play the piano and the flute. Quite beautifully, too."

"Oh, no. I'm still learning, really."

"How often do you practice?"

"About six to eight hours a week."

"Wow, Igarashi! How long have you been doing that?"

"Going on three years now. I started in my freshman year."

"That's awesome! I'd love to hear you play."

She shrugs. "All right. Just for you, though. I'd be too shy to do it in front of anybody else."

"I'd be honored."

"It's a date, then."

Takatoshi chuckles. "You know, I was thinking of taking up a more refined instrument for one of my electives next semester. The recorder is cool, and all, but I'd like to expand my repertoire."

"Really?"

"For sure. I mean, to be more specific, adding the flute or piano would be a good way to start my repertoire."

Kaede laughs. "Well, I'm no expert myself, but I'd be happy to give you a lesson or two sometime, Tsuda."

"I'd like that, Igarashi." Takatoshi then glances our way, doing a double-take once noticing the open eyes of me and presumably Kotomi. "Oh," he says to Kaede. "I think they're starting to wake up. The water's probably close to a boil by now, anyway. I'll get the tea started." I return the nod Takatoshi gives me as he gets up to head for the counter. From there, I lock eyes with Kaede. Probably one of the most unexpected things happens next. With a subtle nibbling upon the bottom of her smiling lips, Kaede hops her brows at me in recognition.

No ****ing way! I guess it's official, then. Despite possibly still being afflicted with a paralyzing level of androphobia, the illustrious Miss Kaede Igarashi has still managed to officially enter the race. Attagirl! I knew she had it in her. At that, my inner Shino-Aria follows that up with a joke about Takatoshi's wiener being in her, but I shake the naughty thought away and shoot Kaede back with a supportive grin instead.

Uomi briefly quivers as she finally comes to, and I turn my head back as much as I can to face her. "Oh my," she says sleepily, her eyes darting between me and Aria. She pets my hair gently. "Artoria, did we have a lesbian threesome?"

"If we did, it was nothing to speak of."

She giggles. "Artoria, I'm hurt."

"Dude, you're telling me. You mind getting up already? My arm's numb enough to get a root canal."

After enjoying some much-welcomed caffeine from the tea bags and boiled water which Takatoshi prepared, we're treated to a pleasant breakfast courtesy of Aria's butler, Mister Hashitaka, who wheels it into the room on a cart. It's my first time meeting the guy, but he unfortunately takes his leave before I can get a good bead on whether he's more of a Grumbler, or with Switzerland. I get the feeling he's the former, though, considering that he's in the service of the Shichijous. All the other staff I've interacted with so far in the Shichijou estate were totally Swiss, so there's got to be at least one voice of reason over there. Right?

Soon enough, Miss Dejima arrives dressed in the polo and slacks staff uniform of this park to escort us to Aria's limo. We need to head back to our homes before the parents riot. At least, that's the general sentiment shared. From the blessings given by each party's parents yesterday, however, I am thoroughly convinced that this last-minute unisex sleepover was allowed in the first place because all parents involved wanted to get their daughter laid. Hopefully that didn't include Kotomi, but considering how Takatoshi is really the only sane man in the immediate Tsuda bloodline, I wouldn't bet too high against that.

The park has just opened by this point, so it feels kind of weird to be the only ones heading for the exit while everybody else is barely flooding in. We chat amongst ourselves for the most part as we walk, though Aria pauses at several points to trade brief pleasantries with many of the staff whom we pass. From the genuine smiles offered by said staff, it seems like the Shichijous treat their workers exceptionally well. One janitor even all but confirms it by outright praising Aria for the new pool tables and mini-saunas installed in all the breakrooms. Nice.

"I'm so sorry, Miss Dejima," says Aria as we continue to walk. "I still remember that you said you were kind of pressed for time, right?"

"Please don't worry one tiny bit, Milady. There's still plenty of time to spare."

"Oh my," says Uomi. "Is something wrong?"

"Not really," says Aria. "It's just that I think Miss Dejima has a pretty full schedule today, from what Mister Hashitaka told me."

Dejima chuckles. "Well, after I drop you all off at your homes, I'll need to return here before two o'clock. I am scheduled to begin a walk around the park dressed as our new mascot."

"Oh wow," says Aria. "The afternoon shift is scheduled to be you today, Miss Dejima? I thought we draw rotations from some newly hired staff for that."

"We do, Milady, but unfortunately, we've had to do some last-minute rearranging today due to a couple of call-outs. I volunteered for the next mascot shift because I have theme park actor's experience, and your parents approved it."

"How cool! Miss Dejima, please take lots of pictures of you performing in costume. I'd love to see them and post them on my wall!"

"Of course, Milady. I will request Mister Hashitaka to take many pictures for you throughout the afternoon."

"You're quite the renaissance woman, Miss Dejima," says Takatoshi. "Swimming instructor, lifeguard experience, a gold driver's license, a safety certification in mountain foods, and theme park entertainer experience? Is there anything you can't do?"

Dejima hums in thought. "To be honest, I had to retire myself from one of my previous jobs because I never could quite master TVTA."

Takatoshi, Suzu, Kaede, and I trade a questioning look, but ultimately shrug at each other. Even the Pervs among us seem bewildered. Well, then. Let's follow our instincts and not throw the dog a bone here. Moving on.

At a narrow, crossroads-like section between numerous busy game booths, our group freezes at an unexpected sight. Namely, the sight of Shino and Aria suddenly tensing up and looking around.

"Do you smell that, Aria? Am I imagining things?"

"No. I smell it, too, Shino!"

Their eyes widen with a joyful realization. Together, they cry out, "Incense-style perfume!"

"Oh-ho! Looks like they'll let anybody in this theme park!" From around a nearby corner appear three beautiful young women with very fancy hairstyles. As they move up to stand in front of us, the blonde-haired woman in the middle continues with. "It's so great to see you two. It's been a while, hasn't it?"

"Furuya!" cries Shino.

"And Minamino and Kitayama!"

"Prez, Shichijou, you know them?" asks Suzu.

"We sure do," says Shino excitedly. "Furuya here is my predecessor. She was the Ousai student council president before me!"

"Kitayama and Minamino were also our upperclassman on the council during our freshman year!"

Takatoshi, Suzu, and I are astonished at the revelation. Honestly, we've gotten so blasé about our lives on the student council that it's been easy to forget that there existed many iterations before us. "Well, it's a pleasure to meet you three," says Takatoshi.

"Likewise!" says the one who looks like a supermodel. "I'm Kaya Kitayama, the former general affairs officer. Which one of you took over my position?"

"Guess I did," I say. "Partially, at least."

Aria nods. "The other part would be me as the secretary."

"Right on! Which one of you handles the correspondence?"

"Oh, I do. We rolled that into logistics this year."

"Cool-cool. So, tell me. Does the computer science teacher, Miss Tsujita, still submit her bi-weekly reports a day or two late?"

"Yeah! Dude, she totally does!"

Kitayama gives me a knowing smile. "Does she also still use that same old excuse when you email her about it?"

"Sorry, but I seem to have accidentally encrypted the archive again. I'll get back to you soon." Kitayama and I break into a laugh, having said the whole quote together. I feel myself beam at that. It actually feels good as hell to meet someone else who understands the sheer frustration involved in being a middle-man accommodating the uncontrollable deadlines of multiple parties.

"By process of elimination, that makes me Natsuki Minamino. I was the previous treasurer. Who has that honor these days?"

"That would be me," says Suzu. "Managing the treasury falls under the duties of the accounting officer now."

"You're also the accounting officer? I take it you handle all the budget reports and club petitions, too?"

"I do, Miss Minamino."

"Incredible! All of that at once by yourself? I couldn't even do that. Sachi's the best of us at math, but even us working together on those numbers was always a handful!"

Suzu gives a smug smile, yet lightheartedly so. "Well, I am able to perform up to ten-digit calculations in my head without using a calculator."

Shino nods proudly. "Not to mention that she also has an IQ of one-hundred and eighty." With that, the three alumni shower Suzu with praise, much to her delight.

"So, you three are hanging out by yourselves today?" Aria asks the alumni.

Furuya nods. "That's right! Just us as the OG council crew. We decided to spend just one, single day reliving the vigors of our youth." She sighs contentedly at that, but then looks over at Kitayama, who's giving her the stink eye. Puzzled, Furuya asks, "Why are you looking at me like that, Kaya?"

She laughs before turning to us. "What Grandma Sachiko here means is that our schedules are so messed up these days that we chose to seize the opportunity for a last-minute get-together."

"As for the destination being here?" says Minamino. "Well, we figured, why not? Let's have a girl's morning and afternoon out being dorks at the Shichijou family theme park."

"And then we're heading out on a ladies' night somewhere far less wholesome," says Kitayama.

"No need to tell them about that, Kaya!"

Furuya laughs. "Oh, take a chill pill, Natsuki! You know what they say. Of all the paths you take in life, make sure a few of them are dirt!" This Furuya character is certainly interesting. There's a carefree drawl in the way that she speaks, and, oddly enough, even in the way she leans on one hip. Seriously, it's like even the way she stands has an accent. I'm totally getting a '1960s hippy in an episode of Scooby-Doo' vibe from her. If that wasn't enough, she has the face of a college kid, yet she reminds me of Takatoshi's grandmother.

After the remainder of the introductions are made, we spend many minutes chatting and asking the alumni tons of questions about the adult world that comes immediately after high school, yet before graduating college. Aside from debt management woes, bills, bills, and more bills, and lots of stress related to time-management, we learn what each alumnus does for a living.

Sachiko Furuya works part-time at a bookstore very close to the outlet we always go to, and she's also the only one of the three alumni who's attending college. Her major is in finance. The supermodel-looking one, Kaya Kitayama, is more specifically a magazine model. She does it full-time, and she gets a lot of work all across Japan since she's willing to pose topless. We know that because she told us. As for Natsuki Minamino, she's a stay-at-home mom with two kids. Her husband is a CPA at a Global 500 with zero student loans thanks to a rich in-law, so she's pretty much set for freakin' life. She happily shows us many pictures of her adorable son and newborn daughter, and — interestingly enough — also some pictures from when she was pregnant with her first child while still being a student at Ousai. Huh. Wonder if she's one of the reasons for why Ousai had such strict dating policies up until only recently.

Eventually, the mood turns nostalgic as the chats steer towards the recent graduation at Ousai. Humming regretfully, Furuya says, "Kaya and Natsuki were busy at the time, but I had no excuse for myself. I wish I could've made the ceremony. Alas, when I called the school during one of my lunch breaks, they told me the ceremony was closed to anyone not related to a graduate."

"Why didn't you call me afterwards, Furuya? As the student council president, I could've requested to mail you a VIP pass with no problem!"

"Ah, well. No use dwelling upon all that once was, and can no longer be. It's all in the distant past now."

My brows furrow. "It was like five and a half weeks ago . . ."

"By the way, Amakusa, I heard the speech you gave was quite moving."

"Oh. Not really!"

Takatoshi shakes his head. "What are you talking about, Amakusa? It totally was!"

"It's true," adds Aria. "You should've seen it, you guys. There wasn't a dry *** in the house!"

"Wrong organ," say the Grumblers. Notably, none of the three alumni participated in that.

"No, I'm serious!" continues Aria. "Didn't you see Hata's candid up-skirts? There's even a wide-angle shot that looks like fifty girls juiced so much, they were all practically sitting on water!"

Shino frowns. "I think those were determined to be doctored, Aria. Only in my dreams could my charisma be that good."

"Well, in any case, the three of you are definitely invited to our graduation next year. In fact, you totally need to be there!"

The alumni look at each other and chuckle. "Keep your shirt on, Shichijou!" says Kitayama. "You know we wouldn't miss it for the world. You're going to be the last all-girls class that Ousai will ever see, right?"

"That's right!"

"Then don't get your knickers in a twist!" says Furuya. "We'll definitely be there, you two. For now, though? Why don't you all join us for a fun-filled day at the park?"

We all look at each other before giving them back sheepish smiles of apology. "We're so sorry, guys," says Shino. "We just finished staying at the hotel here overnight. It was kind of a last-minute thing, too. We need to head home now before our parents get all upset and start interrogating us."

Kitayama coos with mischief. "An unsanctioned sleepover with a very eligible-looking student council vice president?" She dashes up to wrap her arm around Takatoshi's waist. With her free hand, she playfully runs a finger up his chest and says, "Well, you hit the jackpot. Didn't you, Mister Tsuda? Or depending on the circumstances, you just made seven beautiful young women the luckiest ladies in Fuyuki."

"It wasn't like that, Miss Kitayama," he says. "It was a sleepover as friends, if anything."

"But you went on a date with Kaede here yesterday," says Uomi.

Kaede's face goes crimson. "I did not! It was a double-date, and it's only because Takatoshi and I were supervising the couple we went out with!" A beat.

"Takatoshi?" asks Shino and Suzu.

"I said Tsuda! Uh, didn't I?"

Kaede starts to melt at the vicious glares shooting at her from the two Takatoshi crackheads, so I cut the tension by jumping up to stand between them. I then look at the alumni and say, "In any case, I'm afraid we'll have to get going before the moms and dads organize a search and rescue party."

"What a shame!" says Furuya, pouting. "There's got to be a way for us all to pal around sometime."

"Wait, Sachi. What about next month?"

"Oh! You're right, Natsuki." Furuya then turns to us. "Why don't you all come to my college fair next month? We haven't printed out the tickets yet, but I'll be sure to nab some for you all. On the house!"

We look at each other, agreeing wholeheartedly. "That would be wonderful, Furuya!" says Shino. "Oh! I hope it's not during the second week of June, though. Tsuda, Hagimura, and Pendragon will be out of town on their sophomore-year school trip."

"Ah, yes! The sophomore-year school trip. I'm sure you three are going to make some real groovy memories!"

"Groovy?" mumbles Suzu. I catch Aria gesturing for Suzu to just roll with it.

"And don't any of you worry your pretty, little heads. Our college fair starts on the second Friday in June. If I remember the Ousai school trip schedule correctly, you three should be back before then."

"That's perfect," says Takatoshi. "We could go to your festival right afterwards. Thank you, Miss Furuya!"

She scoffs playfully. "Don't be that formal with me, kiddo! Just Furuya is fine."

He chuckles. "You got it, Furuya."

"So, where will you three be heading on your trip?" asks Minamino.

"We'll be going to Okinawa," I say.

Furuya beams. "Far out, man!"

"Lucky!" adds Kitayama. "That's where all those American Marines are stationed. Play your cards right, ladies, and you might find yourselves some hunky foreign boy to marry. I'm kind of jealous!"

"I must admit," says Furuya. "I am, too!"

"Hey, Hagimura, Pendragon. If you find yourselves with more Marines than you can handle, don't you hesitate to throw some me and Sachi's way! Forget Natsuki, since she's already married with children."

Minamino wags her fingers at her fellow alumni. "Sachi, Kaya. Don't you leave out the vice president! There are a lot of women Marines now. Who knows? Tsuda here might be coming home with his number in the phones of an entire platoon of Missus Rights!" We all share a good laugh at that. Well, all of us except the Takatoshi crackheads. Shino only shoots Suzu a frightened command with her eyes, to which Suzu accepts with twice the severity.

"To think how different our lives could have been if our school trip had been to Okinawa instead of Sendai. Kaya and I might very well have become moms by now just like Natsuki."

"Listen to you, Sachi," says Minamino. "Keep that up, and you might make that gentleman caller of yours jealous."

Shino and Aria gasp. "You're dating somebody, Furuya?" they ask excitedly.

She laughs. "Not quite there yet, I'm afraid. At the moment, we're just getting to know each other a little more."

"A college girl like you must be very popular with all the eligible bachelors in town," says Aria. "What's this guy like?"

"Tall, dark, and oh-so handsome. Even the way we met was like magic in the air. It was like a scene straight out of a Clark Gable romance! The films, I mean. Not his messed-up love life."

"Tell us what happened, Furuya," says Shino. "Don't leave us hanging like that!"

"Well, I was doing some grocery shopping up in the Mount Miyama Market. There was this seafood shop advertising my favorite brands of kelp tea and seaweed crackers, so I stopped in to grab some. As I was reaching for a package, another hand appeared out of nowhere, reaching for the same exact thing. Not only did he let me have the package, and not only did he let me go to the cashier first, but he even offered to pay for me! I declined, of course, but only on the condition that he give me his phone number instead. That's how we first met. Oh, it felt like I was in the midst of a living dream!" Furuya then sighs like an old lady recalling a childhood memory.

The others are happy for her, but I'm trying to hold back a snicker. In fact, I nearly come close to blurting out whether she's talking about who I think she's talking about, but I bite my tongue hard. The others already gave me the third degree for my pre-existing relationship with Miss Koyama's boyfriend, though I got lucky in that case. They filled in the gaps themselves since Lancer and I are, by today's standards, both from the UK. It wouldn't be so easy trying to play off how I already know an older man who's from the country that I technically emigrated to. Never mind that I'm actually old enough to be Archer's great-great-grandmother to the third power. That would just be opening up a whole other can of worms.

"We'll be wishing you all the luck in the world with this guy, Furuya!" cries Aria, hands clasped.

"And if you get married, invite us for the wedding!"

Furuya ruffles their heads. "Thank you! You two have always been so sweet. Please never change!"

"We'll try our best, Furuya!"

"Yeah!" adds Shino excitedly, but then she draws in a sharp breath. "Wait, does that include our virginities?" The alumni only laugh heartily at that, though notably do not add onto the dirty joke. Curious. Would these three count as being closer to the Pervs, or to Switzerland? We should probably start thinking about cross-cliques now.

Ultimately, both parties have to go their separate ways. Many cell phone numbers are either exchanged or confirmed, and a semi-serious pass at Takatoshi is made by magazine model Kitayama. The latter is much to the horror of both Shino and Suzu.

"All right, ladies," says Furuya. "Let's blow this popsicle stand!"

Aria gasps. "You three blew every guy at a popsicle stand?"

The alumni laugh. "I've missed your humor so much, Shichijou," says Minamino.

Aria smiles warmly at this, her heavy breathing immediately disappearing. Well, now. Today I learned that the power of nostalgia is strong enough to even override Aria's pervert attacks. Better keep that in mind for a tight spot in the future.

"Goodbye, Furuya, Kitayama, and Minamino! We'll see you guys around sometime!"

"Oh, thanks for the warning, Amakusa!" jokes Furuya, waving back. We then watch the three of them shrink into the distance. Which takes like two minutes. And we don't move an inch from our spot the entire time. We just keep waving farewell. I trade puzzled glances with the others, but we don't stop following Aria's lead. I'm not sure how much longer we have to keep this up, so I have to ask.

"So, uh . . . why are we just standing here waving?"

Aria gives me a bashful smirk. "We already said our goodbyes, but they're heading in the same direction that we're supposed to go."

"Ah. Well, my arm's getting tired."

"So is mine," says Kotomi.

Suzu sighs. "Same."

"Hey Tsuda," says Shino. "Is your arm getting tired, too?"

"It kind of is. Why?"

"Nothing. I'm just wondering if it's comparable to the arm fatigue you feel when you spend the whole night ****ing off like a hyperactive masturbating monkey."

"You realize that, by admitting that you're picturing me doing that in your head, what you just said says more about you than it does about me."

Shino's eyes bulge, turning to face Suzu, Kaede, and me. "Hagimura, Igarashi, Pendragon! How tired do your wrists get after an all-night marathon of Tsuda-centric schlicking sessions?"

"Don't use us as a rebound!"

"Why does it have to specifically involve me?" adds Takatoshi, shouting.

"What a coincidence," says Kotomi. "I dreamt that Taka ****ed off into a pitcher of lemonade, and then we all drank a cup from it."

"What does that even have to do with anything?" demand the Grumblers.

Kotomi holds up her hands. "Sorry! I thought we were just sharing our wet dreams!"

"We're not!"

"I wonder," says Uomi. "Do you think the acidity of lemonade is enough to neutralize sperm?"

Aria gasps. "If it does, maybe we could use it as birth control!"

"I would discourage that practice," says Dejima. "Lemon juice produces a burning sensation in your vagina, and it appears to irritate a man's urethra. It also makes *** taste funny. Bitter and sour isn't a good combination, in my humble opinion."

"What about mixing lemons with ***** juice?" asks Shino.

"Lemon juice acts as a decent flavoring agent. It adds a bit of a kick when you gurgle it up since ***** juice is normally tasteless."

"***** juice is tasteless?" asks Kotomi. "I always assumed it tasted like fish."

"Yeah!" cry the other Pervs.

"That would normally only be due to poor hygiene, or perhaps an STD such as —"

Takatoshi shushes her. "In case you all forgot, there are children around here!"

At that, the Pervs go wide-eyed, suck in a breath, and turn red in the cheeks. Even Miss Dejima, surprisingly. We all suddenly become aware of how we're in the middle of dozens of perplexed, staring faces of all ages. Whether their attentions are focused on us due to the Pervs going off on a tangent, or Takatoshi raising his voice, is hard to say. Either way, self-consciousness grips our group, though more so on the Pervs.

"It's not what you think, kids," Shino says to the crowd. "We're just talking about dirty cats drinking lemonade!"

"And lapping up whip cream!" says Uomi.

"And the cats are just getting slapped in the face with fish-flavored hotdogs!" adds Aria.

Kotomi grimaces, trying to think of something to add herself. "And also . . . never put lemonade in your cat's vagina!"

"How is any of that better?" roar the Grumblers.

"They're life lessons," offers Dejima. "Children should learn these things as early as they can."

Takatoshi sighs heavily. "Hey, kids? The biggest lesson to take here is to use these young women as a cautionary tale for your futures." Oddly enough, these wise words earn a round of applause. Even from the Pervs themselves.

Author's Note: Credit where credit is due.

—The premise of this chapter was derived from the Kaede double-date sequence which takes place from SYD #469 - 470.

—The reference to Kaede's musical instruments experience is based on the "Kaede-Chan Plays Instruments" segment of SYD #375.

—Furuya's first appearance has been combined with the introduction of the other two Ousai student council alumni that occurred during SYD #546.