Disclaimer: I do not own Legend of Vox Machina, which belongs to Critical Role and Amazon Prime Video, or the characters Percy and Vex, who were created by Taliesin Jaffe and Laura Bailey, respectively.
Author's Note: Hello, everyone! I know it's been a long time, and I'm sorry. Life has been crazy the last few years, and I haven't found much to inspire me to write fanfiction. Either the story is complete as it is, or I'm just not involved enough to have a solid idea. That changed after Legend of Vox Machina Season Two, Episode Eight: "The Echo Tree." This does assume that you've watched all of Season Two, although there are few real spoilers. Note that I am deferring to the canon of the animated series, not the original Vox Machina campaign, but I am using a little information from the campaign as well. I wanted to find a private time for Percy and Vex to talk some things out. Enjoy!
A Quiet Moment
During the night after the long talk – including what some might call negotiation – with the green dragon Raishan, Percival de Rolo found himself exhausted yet unable to sleep. After an hour or so of staring at the ceiling, he got up, pulling on a robe over his night clothes and settling his glasses in place. He slipped on some shoes and went downstairs to the kitchen, hoping that a cup of tea would relax him. He would have loved another glass of wine, but dulling his wits right now was probably the last thing he needed.
The palace was dark at this time of night, so it was fortunate that he knew the building so intimately. Still, the deep shadows were unnerving, especially given the unexpected visitor Vox Machina had entertained this evening. It was bad enough that he had to endure the shades of the Briarwoods throughout his childhood home, but to have a powerful dragon in disguise enter unchallenged was even more disturbing.
Reaching the large kitchen at last, Percy lit a single lamp. He placed wood and kindling into the stove, lighting the fire and coaxing it to life. The mundane tasks started to calm his mind, and as the stovetop began to warm, he found a kettle and filled it with water from the hand pump at the large sink. Setting the kettle to boil, he searched for the other things he would need, finding a canister of tea leaves in a drawer. They seemed a bit old but still useable. In a cupboard, he found a porcelain teapot, off-white with a blue, geometric design. This was the pattern they'd once used for intimate family gatherings, not for formal events or with guests. He held it for a moment in both hands, recalling the fragrance of herbal tea and fresh pastries, the sounds of children laughing and his parents' casual conversation, the clink of cups on saucers. He remembered when Cassandra was learning the role of a hostess and he would assist her by being her "guest", providing corrections to her manners or serving technique as necessary.
Percy smiled faintly, pleased to discover that he could still find some happy memories in this house. And someday, we'll go about making new ones, he vowed silently. Aside from the teapot itself, the only surviving pieces from this set appeared to be two teacups with saucers, so he got all of the pieces out and placed them onto a tray. He shook some tea leaves into the pot and waited. Soon enough, the kettle whistled, and he reached out to take it off the stove.
"You couldn't sleep either?" said a voice behind him. Percy jumped, narrowly avoiding spilling scalding- water on himself. He turned to see Vex'ahlia standing at the doorway, an apologetic expression on her face as she moved into the room.
"I'm sorry; I didn't mean to startle you," she added.
"That's all right; no harm done. I suppose I'm just a bit jumpy after having a dragon walk right in under the noses of some of the most accomplished mages in the world." Percy swept his eyes across Vex for a moment, the thin wrap she wore doing nothing to conceal the swell of breasts emerging from the top of her nightdress. He swallowed, then quickly turned away to pour hot water over the tea leaves in the pot, setting the kettle carefully back down and placing the lid on the teapot before turning back to her. "Would you like some tea?"
"Yes, I believe I would," she answered, smiling and taking a seat at the wooden table in the middle of the room. "I see you have two cups already. Were you expecting company?"
Percy brought the tray over to the table, then scrounged some more and dug up a small bowl of sugar with a tiny spoon and half a pot of honey with a dipper.
"Actually, those were the only two cups that matched the pot, so it just seemed right to get them out together," he admitted as he bustled around the kitchen. "I suppose that sounds rather silly…"
"Not at all," Vex assured him. She tilted her head to regard him. "I had no idea you knew your way around a kitchen."
"Well, I know my way around this kitchen," Percy answered with a small laugh. "To be honest, though, I can't manage much more than tea." He sat down across from her after adding the sweeteners to the tray and gazed around nostalgically. "As a boy, I loved the warmth and activity of this place. I would sometimes sit in a corner with a book and let the sights, sounds, and smells of food preparation swirl around me. At least, when Archie and I weren't running…" he trailed off, remembering that Archie was gone now. An uncomfortable silence followed, and he added, "I hope that one day, I can finally come back to live here and not be haunted by all the terrible things that happened within these walls. And below them."
"I hope that for you, too, Percy," said Vex quietly. "I don't really have a home to go back to."
Percy's brows came together for a moment, but he brightened as he poured the tea for them.
"Maybe not right now, but you will have a home here in Whitestone, as soon as the manor house has been rebuilt."
"What are you talking about?" Vex added sugar to her cup and stirred it.
"Have you forgotten already? You're the Baroness of the Third House of Whitestone. Technically, I still need to clear that with Cass, but I'm certain she'll agree. Anyway, that title comes with a house, a crypt, and a small piece of land."
"So what happened to the house?"
Percy added a little honey to his tea and took a sip before he answered.
"Er, that's the one that Scanlan burned down."
"You gave me the title to a burned-down manor?" she asked, quirking an eyebrow. Percy shifted under her scrutiny as he hurried to explain.
"Well, I knew it was a title that was vacant and not one that Cass was likely to give anyone else right way. I didn't want to step on her toes, but I did want to give you a title that actually existed." He leaned across to look Vex earnestly in the eyes. "Do you understand, Vex? It had to be something real, something I wouldn't have to go back on. I wasn't going to present a nonsense title to your father, whatever he may think."
Vex stared back at him for a long time before a slow smile spread across her face. Her eyes shone brightly as she spoke at last.
"I think that actually means more to me now than when you first said it. I had no idea you'd put so much thought into it. Thank you, Percy. Really."
"You're welcome." Percy leaned back, pleased that he'd been able to do something substantive for her. Then he thought about their brief visit to Syngorn and grew serious again. "The way your father treats you and Vax – it isn't right. You know that, don't you?"
Vex shrugged one shoulder, looking away awkwardly.
"He's the only father I've ever known," she answered. "I don't really have other experiences to compare him with. There were other families in Mum's village, of course, but I never thought much about the fathers. We didn't have a father, and that was all right. Until suddenly we did, and he pulled us away from everything we'd known and loved to live in a place where we didn't fit in." She sighed heavily, and Percy could hear the loss and regret in it. Vex was usually extremely confident and sure of herself, and seeing her so submissive and uncertain in her father's presence had made Percy's chest ache for her. The surge of protectiveness that had risen up inside him had taken him by surprise. Granted, he'd already become protective of her well-being after accidentally getting her killed, but this felt different somehow. He tried to put his impressions of Ambassador Vessar into words.
"I didn't like the way he sat there, like he was waiting for you to impress him," he said finally. He felt himself getting angry but managed to keep it contained. "You are impressive, obviously, both of you, but that's irrelevant. If I am ever so fortunate as to have children of my own, one thing I will make sure they always know is that their father loves them!" His rant over, he felt some of the energy drain out of him and deflated a little. "I'm sorry. It's none of my business." He glanced up to find Vex peering at him curiously.
"Do you want to have children?" she asked, which was one of the last things Percy would have expected her to say.
"I…hadn't really given it that much thought," he admitted. He paused, genuinely thinking about the question as he looked past her. He thought back to his childhood, to rooms that always seemed a little too full, to the children that were always underfoot. His throat tightened.
"I once had four younger siblings," he mused aloud. "They were often noisy, messy, and irritating, but they also gave hugs and kisses and sometimes fell asleep in my lap. Right now, I would give anything to have just one day of that noise and mess again." He refocused his gaze to look directly into Vex's eyes. "So yes, Vex'ahlia. Assuming that we live long enough to retire from solving Exandria's problems, and assuming that I can find a woman who will accept all of my baggage, then I would very much like to have children. It would be wonderful to have this palace filled with life, love, and laughter again." Privately, he also acknowledged that he would like to leave a legacy that didn't include death and destruction.
"That does sound nice," she responded, regarding him with a soft expression. For some reason, this conversation reminded Percy of a question that had been nagging at him. He debated whether or not he should bring it up, but in the end, his curiosity was too strong.
"Speaking of prospective partners, there is something I've been wondering ever since we left the Fey Realm," he began. "This is extremely personal, so I understand if you don't wish to answer, but you told Saundor that your heart already belonged to someone else. Who is it? To whom have you given your heart?"
Vex regarded him quizzically, as though she thought there was no mystery to this at all.
"You don't know?" she returned.
"I wouldn't presume to know your mind or your heart, Vex," he said softly, gazing down into his near-empty teacup.
"You can't even guess?"
"Frankly, I can't think of anyone of our acquaintance who's worthy of you," he responded. He glanced up at her before lowering his eyes again. Vex was silent for a while.
"Not even you?" she said at last. Percy snorted.
"Especially not me," he stated.
"Why especially not you?"
"I've done so much wrong. I left my sister for dead. I devoted years of my life to vengeance, becoming obsessed with creating weapons of death and destruction. I allowed a shadow creature to possess me, endangering all of you. Most recently, my carelessness got you killed." Percy sighed and lowered his head even further, although going through the litany had been somewhat cathartic. "It will probably take the rest of my life to make up for all of it, and while I'm willing to pay the price, I can't imagine dragging anyone along with me for that."
"Percy." Vex reached out again, this time reaching out to touch his hand. It was his injured hand, though, still covered with the leather glove-like contraption he'd fashioned, so she moved up to his wrist to avoid that. The unexpected skin-on-skin contact startled him and sent a thrill through his body. He couldn't suppress a slight gasp.
"Are you all right?" she asked when she heard it.
"I'm fine. I was just realizing how rarely I've allowed myself to be touched over the last five years."
"Oh, if it makes you uncomfortable…" she started to pull back, but Percy brought his other hand over to take hold of her wrist and prevent her from withdrawing. He brought his gaze up to hers.
"No, it's nice," he asserted. "I'd…like to get used to it again." It occurred to him that the last time he'd felt her skin on his had likely been underneath Whitestone, when she'd slapped him to bring him out of his fugue but then cradled his face with her fingerless gloves. When he thought back, he could still feel the touch of her fingertips. The last time anyone had touched him on bare skin was probably when Vax had punched him in the face, but Vex didn't need to know that. He pulled his uninjured hand back to finish his tea.
"Listen to me," Vex said, commanding his attention once more. "You couldn't have known that Cassandra would survive multiple arrow wounds, and what could you have done for her if you'd stayed? You'd have been recaptured, and the cycle would have started all over again. Your escape eventually led to Vox Machina freeing Whitestone from the Briarwoods. You suffered a horrible tragedy; it's no wonder you were in pain and wanted nothing more than to lash out. That demon took advantage of you, fed your pain and rage, gave you an outlet for them. None of this was your fault, and it's all understandable. Those weapons of yours have saved our asses more than once, so I wouldn't say they're all bad. Finally, everyone knows you setting off that magical trap was an accident. It could have happened to any of us."
"Not Vax," Percy scoffed. Vex rolled her eyes.
"All right, probably not Vax," she conceded. "I just want you to know that I forgive you. If he hasn't already, I'm sure Vax will forgive you, too. What you really need to learn is to forgive yourself."
"I'll work on that," he promised, although he still couldn't help feeling that he bore at least some responsibility for everything he'd listed.
"Speaking of your weapons, if you hadn't made this for me, we might not be here right now." Vex reached into a fold of her wrap and withdrew the mechanical arrowhead. Percy felt a little glow of pleasure that she was carrying it with her so intimately, but he was a little confused as to the reason.
"You have it with you now, in the middle of the night?" he asked. "I hope you don't sleep with it; that could be dangerous." Despite his words, he had to admit that the thought of her sleeping with his gift nearby was…intriguing, to say the least. He veered away from those thoughts as Vex shrugged.
"I've been sleeping with arrows at my side for half my life," she replied, slipping the arrowhead back out of sight. "I think I can handle it."
"I didn't mean to suggest otherwise," Percy assured her. "I'm just especially concerned for your safety after…after the tomb."
Vex sighed, wrapping her hand fully around his wrist and increasing the contact between them.
"My brother has acted as my protector for as long as I can remember," she said. "I don't relish the idea of having another one."
"Another brother or protector?" Percy asked, brows raised.
"Either, I suppose," Vex laughed. "I…it's hard for me to understand what it felt like for everyone else to see me dead. I didn't experience it. I don't mean to take it lightly, but I don't want to be treated like I'm fragile either."
"Vex, I know that our way of life is inherently dangerous, and I can't stop you from taking risks. I wouldn't really want to, honestly, since that's part of who you are. I just don't want to be the one responsible. Not again. So please pardon me if I'm a little more cautious than I once was."
He wasn't certain when he'd started viewing her differently, but back in the tomb, seeing her motionless on the stone floor, he'd suddenly realized how much she meant to him. He'd struggled to contain his rising panic as the clerics worked to revive her and all sorts of admittedly selfish questions ran through his mind: What if he never heard her voice again? What if he never felt the warmth of her touch again? What if she never again opened those expressive brown eyes? Even the fact of her sitting across from him right now felt unreal at times.
"I can accept that." Vex tilted her head, regarding him with an expression he couldn't decipher. "You may have noticed that I didn't answer your original question. I'm not ready to reveal that just yet, but don't worry. When I am ready, you'll know."
Percy frowned, thinking that her response was oddly cryptic, but he respected her privacy and let it go. He paused then, gathering his thoughts. There were things he'd never openly shared with anyone, but maybe it was time, and Vex seemed like the perfect confidante.
"Vex, you keep telling me that I shouldn't keep my emotions bottled up, that I should share them, right?"
"Right." She leaned in, and he sensed that he had her full attention.
"Well, something I've been realizing recently, now that I'm free of that shadow-thing, is that I think it was suppressing some of my natural feelings and desires."
"Really? Like what?"
"Anything that was negative or destructive, I felt fully – grief, anger, hate. Things that were positive or constructive, like joy, anticipation, or gratitude, were at least dampened."
Vex paused as she took this in.
"If I'm understanding you correctly, you've just recently started feeling all of the emotions you should have been experiencing for the past several years?" she asked.
"That makes it sound a lot more dramatic than it is. It's not retroactive. There still has to be some sort of stimulus for me to feel something, and since I was generally missing the more positive emotions, it's hardly unpleasant."
"It still sounds somewhat chaotic."
"It can be confusing at times," Percy admitted. "I'm still sorting through and identifying everything as it happens."
"That does explain why you seemed so excited to be in the Fey Realm. You know you don't have to go through this alone."
"I know, but…how do you explain to someone what you're feeling when you're still trying to find words for it?"
"Fair point," Vex acknowledged. "I'm…we're all here for you, when you're ready."
"I appreciate that." Percy hesitated then. "I think this is also related to why I haven't let people touch me. At first, it was natural enough. During the last few weeks spent here before I escaped, having someone touch me usually meant pain." He took his free hand and absently rubbed at the scar that still ran across his chest. "After that, the thought of touching someone implied intimacy, closeness. I suppose I was afraid of getting close to someone again, caring about someone else I might lose. I think the demon encouraged that, keeping me aloof and isolated."
"That does make sense. I'm glad you're getting back to caring about people again, and letting them care about you."
They cleaned up the few items they'd used in the kitchen in companionable silence, finishing by putting out the wood fire. They then made their way back to their respective rooms.
"Do you think you can sleep now?" he whispered as they parted ways.
"Perhaps. I do feel a bit more relaxed. How about you?"
"It may take a little while, but yes, I think so. Good night, Vex."
"Good night, Percy."
Percy entered his room, divested himself of his shoes, robe and glasses, and lay down once more. He did feel strangely lighter after expressing some of his guilt and concerns to Vex. Maybe she was right and sharing emotions was good for you. He couldn't quite shake the feeling that he was missing something in regards to the things she had said – or perhaps, the things she hadn't said – but that was forgotten as he finally drifted into slumber.
Author's Note: Although the shadow demon was listed as Orthax in the show credits and closed-captioning, I don't recall its name actually being mentioned in the animated series, which is why I chose not to have the characters use it. Feel free to correct me if I missed that.
I considered putting several other thoughts into this story, but it was getting long already, so I kept it to this. I also didn't want to interfere with what may happen in the future of the series, so I couldn't be too conclusive about what they discussed.