A/n: Whenever I join a social media platform, I don't want to merely put out words. I want to bless people and make them happy to have met me. So when someone accuses me of hurting them and treating them like an enemy, I tend to take it seriously, and I'm willing to leave that website just to give that person some peace.

This summer, I had a falling out with a guest reviewer who calls herself Arika (a.k.a. Arika Koski, Roxas, Arika Koski 2021, among other aliases). She left some unkind and abusive reviews on my stories, and when I encouraged her to create an account so we could share PMs and discuss things in depth, she wouldn't have it. She cussed me out, told me to die from COVID-19, and threatened to kill me if I didn't commit suicide. (None of which bothered me in the least, by the way.) But when I told her to knock it off and leave me alone, she said I was hurting her feelings and treating her like an enemy. In response, I euthanized my projects and quit the site, hoping it would give her some peace.

This summer and fall, Arika has continued to bombard my stories with threats, insults, and abusive demands. (Just look at After the Roar, "We Are One," and "If You Curse Someone, Dig Two Holes" to see the gems she's written.) It's abundantly obvious that she will continue regarding me as an enemy, and nothing I do or say will make her happy. Therefore, I refuse to give her the satisfaction of dictating any aspect of my life, and if seeing my name on my latest fanfic makes her spontaneously combust, I will not give a shit. Some people cannot be reasoned with, and Arika is one of them.

As for the rest of you: I hope you enjoy this story. I know I already am.

Na Zdrowie,
John

Chapter 1: Special Delivery

Nala trotted out of the sands and rustled into the ferns of the oasis, and she tossed her head over her shoulder and gave her mate a playful grin. "Come on, Simba," she said. "Aren't you going to carry me over the threshold?"

The lion fidgeted and gave an uneasy smile. His eyes kept peering into the moonlit shadows of his youthful home, and his face drooped in fear.

"Oh, come on," Nala purred. "It doesn't smell like warthog, does it?"

"No, that's not it," he replied. "It's just, you and I've never...well...you know...and I'm kinda getting the jitters. I've never done anything like this...and I don't wanna blow it, you know?"

"Well, I'm not worried," she said. "I just married the King of Pride Rock. There's no way you could disappoint me. Unless you think you're not lion enough for me..."

But Simba didn't answer. He kept looking wary and uneasy as he peered through the trees. Far as he was concerned, becoming King of Pride Rock and helping save his pride from starvation was like a stroll through the savannah. But a honeymoon? This was like trying to lift the world on his shoulders or summon the rain with a single word; he would have to be godlike to do that. His eyes kept wandering back and forth along the moonlit trees, as if he were looking for an excuse. But without warning, and with a sigh of equanimity, he turned to her and frowned. "I grew up here. All my best memories are here. Giving it up was hard, and if I go back, I might not want to leave."

"Oh, Simba, I know you," she said gently. "You've done so much since you came back. You're not going to give that up just because you're taking a weekend off."

Well, that was certainly true. After all, he had been working his tail off since he came home, and the vacation was long overdue.

When he left the oasis two months ago, he was on a mission to overthrow his uncle, and that was just the easy part. He had to lead the pride to a new home, and that was a suicide mission as far as he was concerned. Everyone knew who Scar was, and a presumed-dead nephew was as welcome as a plague. But Simba's pride had to eat and sleep, and antelope weren't raining out of the sky, so he offered the natives a deal: He would live in peace, hunt to survive, and help in any way he could.

Two months later, he had done the impossible: He had won them over. And when he and Nala got married, every village and tribe came to the wedding to cheer him on. When Rafiki laid the flower necklace around Nala's shoulders and ran a dab of red gourd juice across Simba's forehead, it sounded as if the world was thundering in praise. And as he and Nala majestically strode away to their honeymoon getaway, Zazu gave him the best news of all: The Pride Lands were growing back, and the herds were beginning their great migration back home.

"Besides," Nala said with a nuzzle, "you've got to enjoy the perks...including me..."

And with a sly grin and muscles flexing in his shoulders, he crouched down and grabbed Nala in his forelegs, and he went up on his hindpaws and grinned, watching her marvel at his strength. "Oh, I'm lion enough, Nala. I'm all the lion you need. I'm gonna carry you through the trees and down to the lake, and I'll take you up to the top of the rocks and we'll watch the stars turn. And when we come back down and lie in the grass, I'll let you know what it really feels like to be a queen—"

Without warning, the ferns parted and the grass gave way, and Simba's fear turned to terror.

He and Nala flinched and spun to the rustling, and a strong lioness padded up out of the ferns. Her face was startled and confused, and her moonlit eyes gazed on Simba with longing and awe. "Kufu," she said breathlessly. "It is you..."

All the blood in his veins went still and cold, and his forelegs went slack and he dropped Nala out of his paws. He felt his jaw hanging out of his face, barely noticing Nala had hit the ground.

"Kufu, what are you doing here, and who is she?"

"Wait a minute," said Nala as she climbed onto all fours. "Why are you calling him Kufu?"

The lioness gave her a dull look, as if something had been confirmed. Her brown eyes going dark and narrow, the lioness let out a disgruntled sigh and turned to Simba. "What's your name?"

Simba quailed at her gaze and turned his head away. "Look...Ashanti, I—"

"Oh, you haven't changed at all," said the other lioness. "Every sentence that starts with 'Look, Ashanti' is always gonna end badly."

"Ashanti, I'm sorry, but I didn't come back here for you. Nala and I just got married—"

"Wait a minute, you're married?" The lioness glared at him and let out a scoff. "Two months ago, you said you didn't want a relationship. And now you're here with your wife?"

"Now I know why you didn't want to come here," Nala said.

"Look...Nala, I—"

"Oh, good grief," she muttered.

"Nala, you have to believe me. After the stampede, my whole life fell apart. I didn't think you were gonna forgive me if you knew what I had done. When Ashanti came along, we got along well. I was still a wreck after my father died, and I—"

"Wait a minute," said Ashanti. "You lost a parent, and you didn't tell me?" When Simba kept goggling back at her, she let out an incredulous scoff. "What else didn't you tell me? Are you some kind of president, or a king?"

Simba gave her an awkward chuckle and said, "Actually, I am a king..."

If he thought Ashanti's face couldn't be any more horrified, the twisting of her mouth and the furrowing of her eyes changed his mind. "Look, Ashanti...I—"

"You're unbelievable," she muttered. "You weren't just a coward. You were a king hiding out in a jungle."

"Ashanti, it wasn't working. You know that..."

"No, it was working, and you ruined it," she said in a quaky tone. "I waited my whole life for a good guy to come along. My father hit me and clawed me whenever I messed up, and every guy I met was just as bad. When I met you, I thought I found the lion of my dreams, and three days in, I'm less than an afterthought. I wanted to know if you felt anything for me, and you didn't tell me. I knew something awful happened to you, and you didn't tell me. Now I find out you've been keeping your whole life a secret, and you've just been using me. I was just a toy for your comfort, a plaything for your amusement."

"I care about you, Ashanti! Really!" But when he saw Nala glaring at the side of his face, he stammered and said, "Look...guys, I—"

"I've heard enough," Ashanti said as she turned away. "Before you trip over your tongue, let me show you your handiwork."

She walked up to a cluster of ferns and pawed them aside, and she guided Simba's eyes to a tiny bundle curled up in the grass. It was an infant lion, still wearing its spots, and its eyes had just come out of blindness. Simba's face went slack as he saw a tiny tuft of red hair sprouted up between the cub's huge ears, and its eyes fell upon Simba, making him feel as if he was staring back at himself as a cub. A surge of terror went up his spine, and his hind legs trembled and sank him back into the grass as he goggled at the cub.

"You have a choice, Simba," said Ashanti. "Either you let me into your pride, or I'll fight my way in, and I'm bringing him in with me. His name's Kopa...and he's your son."